Should I schedule sex dates?
So todays question is should I schedule sex dates with my partner? This episode is about whether you should schedule sex dates with your partner. Does scheduling sex work and can it save your relationship? Does it guarantee quality time, demonstrate commitment and improve communication? Life can get in the way, partners can have mismatched libidos. Scheduling may seem "too" practical for sex, but if you don't there is a danger you are not intimate together and there are many issues tied up with that.
Listen to Suzie and Mel's differing opinions
Mel is perhaps more pratical she has been married a long time. Suzie thinks scheduling sex is not very exciting or spontaneous and takes the fun out of it! Should you put "love making sessions" in the diary? Mel thinks you can have fun with it.
It is too clinial or is there a half way house to make sure you make time for each other? What works best for a relationship? Mel thinks you can make things sexy and get in the mood, the build up helps with communication. Suzie is not so convinced!
Is scheduling sex too pratical?
Is is scheduling sex with your partner just a little too pratical for something that should be spontaneous and passionate or should you be realistic and adapt to the changing stages of your relationship?
A story shared by one of our listeners
One of our amazing listeners has shared her story with Mel and Suzie, so they share their opinions and encourage you to share more. By talking together we may find an answer. Do Mel & Suzie come to a consensus? As always there is wit, humour, many laughs and few new "Britishisms" from Mel and perhaps a new perspective for the listeners.
She is 45, lives with her second husband and 2 kids from a previous marriage. She works. She is 10 years younger than her husband and they have been together for 9 years. When we first met our intimacy was incredibly spontaneous. They even joke as a couple “who schedules Love?”
But then life happened. One day mid- last year we realized we had not had sex for a month. My husband starts work very early in a construction company and goes to bed early. I on the other hand work a more traditional day and work in the evening and go to bed after him. We had become so busy it just creeped up on us.
We then realized we needed to schedule a weekly “sex date”. We started the next week and we have maintained it ever since. We look forward to it, the anticipation is sexy and great for our relationship and intimacy. We make sure we are free and we never cancel, unless there is a very serious emergency! It has restored our intimacy and our connection to each other. Some may think it's not very sexy but it really works. We realized that life was changing and we had to change with it.
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Mel's Facts >>
1. Figure out a day and time that works for both of you.
2. Actually put it in your calendar.
3. Be flexible about what kinds of intimacy are involved.
4. Do your best to stick with the schedule.
5. Lean into the anticipation.