The truth about sex toys
Updated: Oct 5
We all know about sex toys, but are we all using them? They are much easy to purchase in 2023 than they were 20 years ago. The stigma of going into some horrible seedy shop has gone. There are now so many options to buy on a whole host of sex toy websites. They are welcoming, easy to navigate and not in the least bit intimidating.
The truth about sex toys
Some couples are reticent to bring sex toys into their couple. Some believe they are only for solo play and some men are still intimidated by them. It is obvisouly up to you what you prefer, but sex toys can heighten pleasure. They are in no way an indicator of your partner not pleasuring you in the way you want. In fact quite the reverse. It is the considerate, involved lover that welcomes toys into your intimate life.
The things to remember about using toys together
1. Communicate: Talk to each other about your wish and desire to bring toys into the "couple" bedroom. Don't surprise your partner!
2. Make the time: do the research and the shopping. Have some fun buying your toys. Remember this is about pleasure!
3. Have fun: Life can be stressful, so make sure you have fun together and have a good laugh. 4. Be supportive: Why not try something new. If you really don't like it, you don't have to do it again. If a particular toy is a step too far, don't get defensive or upset. Just explain this is over your "line" and you are not comfortable. 5. Respect each other: Respect each other’s opinions and feelings. Don' t make fun of your partner. Laughing "at" someone is very hurtful. 6. Spend quality time: Carve out the time to play and get busy together.
7. Be honest: Be honest with each other and don’t be afraid to express your feelings. 8. Don't try everything at once: Toys are not cheap and there is no "one size fits all" toy. Different things work for different people.
Toys are for men and women
In the at least the last 5 years, sex toys have become socially acceptable for women of all ages to purchase and own. This is a sharp departure from 20 years ago. They were something you bought in an adult magazine or in a "sex shop" which was not inviting and shrouded in shame.
Today there are many sites for women selling dildos, vibrators and couples toys. It is easy and discreet for women to buy toys. The same cannot be said for straight men who do not have as many outlets specifically for male toys. To reduce judgement and shame around sex everyone should have access to what they need and enjoy as long as it is legal and consentual and be able to buy it without fear of judgement or shame.
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1)According to a Cosmopolitan article from March 14 2022, entitled " Apparently a Quarter of Single People Aren’t Interested in Monogamy" , here are a few facts
71 % of single people say they are more interested in long-term relationships now than they were before the pandemic.
18 % of pepole have been in love with more than one person at once.
2) In an article in GQ magazine from April 5 2023, called , "The Best Sex Toys for Couples Will Make Doing it Even More Awesome" it mentions a 2017 study that says , "37% of women need clitoral stimulation" to have an orgasm. It is quite amazing that in 2023 this is still fairly little known fact!
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