Are Women Sabotaging Their Own Happiness, Love & Relationships

Chrissie
Oct 20
4 min read

Are Women Sabotaging Their Own Happiness?

Let’s be honest, female friendships are powerful. They can lift us up, heal heartbreak, and give us the courage to walk away from bad situations. But sometimes, they can also create confusion, competition, and unrealistic expectations about love.

This post explores how women may unintentionally sabotage their relationships through the advice they give, the pressure they feel from their friends, and the culture of comparison that social media makes worse. Are women sabotaging their own happiness?

The Beautiful (and Messy) Power of Female Friendships

Female friendships are emotional lifelines. Women share everything. texts, screenshots, the latest icks, and the full play-by-play of a breakup. It's the epitome of bonding, until the advice starts sounding more like a panel discussion than support.

“Don’t settle.” “You can do better.” “If he’s not obsessed, he’s not it.”

Those lines sound empowering, but they can set the bar impossibly high. The truth? Nobody’s perfect and sometimes chasing an ideal relationship means missing out on something real.

True Friends vs. Frenemies: Knowing Who’s in Your Corner

Not all female friends play by the same rules. Some are genuine ride-or-dies—your emotional support system, your truth-tellers, and your nonjudgmental cheerleaders. Others? Not so much.

Friendships often blur the boundaries between friendship and rivalry. They smile while subtly putting you down, offering “concerned” advice that somehow always leaves you doubting yourself. They might mean well… or they might not.

Here’s a simple way to spot the difference:

True Friends	Frenemies / Casual Contacts
Cheer your wins genuinely	Downplay your happiness
Respect boundaries	Overstep and gossip
Offer empathy	Offer comparison
Protect your trust	Weaponize your secrets

Knowing which relationships are safe and which are draining can make or break your emotional well-being and your love life.

When Empowerment Turns into Perfectionism

We’ve all heard the modern mantra: You don’t need a man to complete you. True, but somewhere along the way, “strong and independent” became “never compromise for anyone.”

That kind of thinking can make relationships impossible to maintain. Expecting perfection from partners, friends, and ourselves only breeds disappointment.

Real empowerment doesn’t mean being flawless. It means being self-aware enough to know what you want and emotionally grounded enough to accept what’s real, not just what looks appealing on TikTok.

Social Media, Competition & “Girl Code”

Let’s talk about the digital elephant in the room: social media. Platforms like TikTok and Instagram have turned relationship advice into viral content, and not always in a good way.

Videos that say “If he wanted to, he would” or “Cut him off at the first red flag” get millions of likes, but they don’t always apply to real life. These soundbites create pressure and make women suspicious not only of men but also of each other.

That’s how friendship starts to feel like competition: Who’s more desirable? Who’s happier? Who got engaged first? And that’s when “girl code” starts to blur.

Breakups, Divorce & the Advice Spiral

When things fall apart, women often turn to their friends first, and that’s where things can get complicated.

Friends want to help, but the advice can come with agendas:

“Take him for everything he’s got.”
“Don’t settle for shared custody.”
“Get revenge, then glow up.”

It’s loud, it’s emotional, and it’s not always helpful. Sometimes, what a woman really needs is quiet space to think and heal, not a rallying cry to go to war.

Generational Gaps in Women’s Perspectives

Older women often value stability and forgiveness, while younger generations tend to lean toward independence and starting over. Neither is right or wrong; they’re just different eras, with different expectations.

At Sharing My Truth, Mel (Gen X) and Suzie (Millennial) talk openly about how these generational perspectives collide, from “stay and fix it” to “cut your losses and move on.” Their conversations show how women’s approaches to love evolve and how to find a middle ground that feels true to you.

Are Women Really Their Own Worst Enemy?

Not intentionally. Most of the time, women want the best for each other. But noble intentions can backfire when honesty turns into judgment and empowerment turns into perfectionism.

Friendship should make you stronger, not keep you single, suspicious, or scared to be vulnerable.

Key Takeaways

✅ Female friendships shape how women approach dating and relationships. ✅ Frenemies and hidden competition can quietly undermine confidence. ✅ Empowerment should be balanced with empathy and realism. ✅ True friends respect your boundaries, even when they disagree. ✅ Social media advice isn’t one-size-fits-all; trust your gut first.

About the Sharing My Truth Podcast

Each episode unpacks modern dating, emotional connection, and the messy truths that come with being human. Whether it’s why men cheat, how to rebuild intimacy, or the pressures women put on themselves, Mel and Suzie bring laughter, honesty, and the kind of advice your friends might be too scared to say out loud.

🎧 Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube📱

Final Thoughts

Women aren’t their worst enemies, but they can be their own biggest critics. The real challenge is unlearning the need to compare, compete, or control. Because when women truly support one another, without judgment, without perfection, that’s when love (and friendship) finally starts to thrive.