Suzie: Welcome to Sharing My Truth with Mel and Suzie. The uncensored version where we bear it all.

Mel: We do.

Suzie: And hello, everyone, and welcome back to Sharing My Truth Pod. You're here with Mel and Suzy. So excited to be here with you today. Here's a sweet, special friendly reminder to Give this podcast 5 stars on the review. And wherever you're listening to it, make sure to subscribe. And then if you'd like as well, go to our socials. You can DM us. You can chat with us there. You can also look at us on YouTube. Hey, say hi, Mel, to the camera.

Mel: Hello.

Suzie: What else can they do? Go to our website, sharematruth.com. leave us a voicemail. We want to hear from you, Literally your voice.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Be on the pod today.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: Hey, babes.

Mel: Hello, darling.

Suzie: How are you?

Mel: I'm fab. All is good.

Suzie: Good.

Mel: It's a bit autumnal. Autumnal, yes.

Suzie: What a word.

Mel: Yeah. We don't say fall in England.

Suzie: No, autumn is a much better word.

Mel: We just. We don't know what you're talking about.

Suzie: When you say leaves fall down, that's why.

Mel: But the fall. So we don't say that.

Suzie: It's so stupid.

Mel: So people don't know what you're talking about. I mean, obviously I do. I've been educated. Right.

Suzie: American educated is very important.

Mel: I know, I know, but. Yes, well, we've already discussed that. I like the time of year, so we don't need to go on about that.

Suzie: No, it's good. I love the sweater weather. Sweater weather. Sweater weather.

Mel: Yeah, sweater weather.

Suzie: Love sweater weather. It just feels nice to fall down in the leaves and bundle up in the scarves and the nice cashmere sweaters.

Mel: I like a scarf. As you know, I'm not just gonna have a scarf. So it's the bad thing about summer. I can't wear my extensive scarf collection.

Suzie: Silk scarves.

Mel: Yeah. And then I have other scarves. I like a scarf. I know.

Suzie: I've seen your scarf collection. It's a bit much.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And you can do a twilly, though, on your little handbags.

Mel: Yes, I can.

Suzie: With scarfs.

Mel: But I love a scarf and I don't care that it's too much.

Suzie: No, it's not too much.

Mel: I just like them.

Suzie: She's like a hot airplane attendant.

Mel: Yeah, okay. If you want to see it like that, fine. Yeah. Anyway, but yes. Oy.

Suzie: Mel, what are we chatting about today?

Mel: Well, we've. This week we're talking about single men.

Suzie: Oh, yeah, baby. Because my favorite kind.

Mel: Yes, we know. But There and it lie. The problem is that the. We talked in a previous episode about the sort of epidemic. Epidemic. That's a horrible word. That there's going to be a lot of single women.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: Like, an extraordinary amount of single women. I think it's. By, what do we say, 20, 30, 45% of women. I think it's sort of between the ages of 25 to 44 will be single.

Suzie: It is crazy, which is huge to think about.

Mel: And childless. Single and childless.

Suzie: And that we're just women making good decisions, you know?

Mel: You know, fair enough. I mean, you know, you do you as well, but. And. But obviously what's happening to all the men. So that there's also an extraordinary amount of single men and that they will. And they're very lonely. So I'm not sure that the single women are as lonely as the single women.

Suzie: What's interesting, because single women, I find, have a lot more, like, hobbies and, like, friends.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And like, things that they're doing in, like, more creative ways almost where men are. Like, if you're not on a sports team, it's kind of hard to make friends unless, like, you're working with them.

Mel: I think women are much better at socializing, for sure. I think whether they're single or in a couple. Like, I'm the social director of my marriage and have always been. I'm just much.

Suzie: Usually women are a much better relationship.

Mel: Max doesn't really care all that much, although he has a lot of friends, but.

Suzie: Well, we're the one who plans, like, the dinner parties.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: The actual parties. Like.

Mel: Yeah. I'm far more interested in it.

Suzie: It's because the women around. If you have, like, a friend group that you're, like, couples with.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Then usually it's the women who are talking and chatting and making the plans, and the men just kind of come along for the ride. Right.

Mel: Well, like, a funny example, like, Max travels a lot for work. So he's away in a couple of weeks, is over sort of a weekend, like, from a sort of Thursday to a Monday kind of thing. So weekends are like, you know, I want to, like, if I'm on my own, my kids are out, they don't need me. I want to be busy. I want to go socialize with my girlfriends and go, like, girly dates. Right.

Suzie: Girly dates.

Mel: And I literally. He's going away, so I'm busy Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday I've got. And Monday when he's back, I've got something or somebody I'm seeing or a dinner every single day. I. You know. Whereas if he was on his own, he'd be like, no, I'm just watching, you know, baseball or something ridiculous. He wouldn't plan anything. He wouldn't plan a thing. Whereas I've planned, like, not like what I'm doing every nanosecond, but I'm going out for dinner. I want to socialize. I want to see people. And I think that's really. That happens a lot. So women are very good at it. So if you're single, I think single women get out there and go out, even if they're not meeting men, they get out and see their friends and they go for dinner or they go shopping or like today I. My. One of my daughters back from university, so we went for lunch and we did some shopping.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Women do that. Like, they interact.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Communicate. Men not so interested in it, which, of course, when they don't have a relationship, presents a problem. Yeah.

Suzie: Like singles. I mean, I know obviously quite a few single guys, but, like, you know, they go out for beers, they go play sports. Yeah, right. Like spoiled.

Mel: Very good.

Suzie: Or, you know, what a lot of single guys are doing nowadays and single girls, for that matter, is. And I'm one of them. But we have dogs.

Mel: I know, Right.

Suzie: So we've kind of created this thing where it makes us go outside, it makes us kind of socialize. People stop you in the street if you have a cute dog. Like. Right. So you're actually meeting people because of your dogs now. Thank God. Like, this is, you know, something that's positive. But like. Yeah, like, I think that's what a lot of people do. But also then that means a lot of people, single people are going home early because they have to, like, go take care of their animal.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Do you know what I mean?

Mel: Yeah. It's just weird to me.

Suzie: It's just like.

Mel: But that's just how it is, socializing. But do you think this is my theory about dogs, is that.

Suzie: Do you. Mel doesn't have a dog, by the way.

Mel: I don't have. I like to say I like dogs. I just have two problems with them. Three.

Suzie: It's fine.

Mel: Would you like to know what they are?

Suzie: Of course.

Mel: I really don't want to pick up any more poo in my life because I've had two children. That was enough poo for a lifetime. The second thing is, it's hard to travel because you worry about.

Suzie: No. Yeah. You travel way too much.

Mel: I'm worried about this dog. And then third, I Would do. Have to do everything.

Suzie: Yeah, you would.

Mel: So that's the reasoning. Even though I love. I'd love a little sausage, a mini sausage.

Suzie: Oh, they're so cute.

Mel: I'd like to sort of have him. We know. And then maybe I get a nanny or something.

Suzie: Yeah, you get it. Yeah, one of those Forest Hill moms.

Mel: Which just annoys me so much. Why have you got a ******* dog if somebody else is looking after? But anyway, it's like children, though, the ******* conversation. Yeah, well, yeah, I don't know. Now I digress. What the hell? So when you have a dog and you go out to, like, you take them for a walk and somebody stops you and let's say it's a really handsome man.

Suzie: Oh, I love when this happens.

Mel: Do they ask you on a date? Is it acceptable? Really?

Suzie: I'm telling you, men don't ask women out anymore, for one. But also, I also think it's. I think women are also very on edge about that stuff too. But I don't know, it's a weird thing because usually, I mean, not always usually, if you have a dog, you're sharing it with someone, so you. You're kind of on. You're like, I don't know if this person's single, but if you do, what's kind of nice about having the dog is that you usually go to one park.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: So, like, you're gonna go to the park, you know, you're gonna see the dog with like, a bunch of other dogs that you might know and then a bunch of, like, the owners. Right.

Mel: And you see the same people all the time. Like my friends, it's like, very sociable, and they chat about.

Suzie: And like, so that's the only time when I would be like, okay, you're actually gonna get to know someone, like, and then understand. And then that's how you kind of fall in love. Like 101 Dalmatians way.

Mel: Yeah, you could have a real love affair with a doggy partner. But, yeah, I guess that is a problem they might have. They've probably got a partner.

Suzie: Well, it's hard to take care of a dog with one person, like, as a. So as a social person in Toronto.

Mel: And if you're working, it's. It's really difficult. I mean, you've got a little. Little doggy and so he. He's very good because he likes to eat and then he just collapses. Yeah, yeah, he's very helpful.

Suzie: He's very. He's happy to socialize. He's a very social dog.

Mel: Yeah. But you don't have to take him on, you know, four hour walk.

Suzie: No, I mean, carrying him in a bag.

Mel: Exactly.

Suzie: That's what he prefers.

Mel: Yeah. So it's pretty. But still, you can't leave him on his own for hours and stuff like that.

Suzie: No, and I would not want to do that either. Like, it's not fair to him. So. Yeah, that's. That's the problem with having a dog if you're single. But that's just another way to meet people. Right. Like, that's. A lot of people have dogs. That's why people lock. A lot of people got dogs during COVID is because they were like, hey, well, I have to have something to keep me busy to make me go outside.

Mel: Yeah. It's interesting to me because this guy worked for me years ago, before COVID about, I don't know, seven years ago, and he got a dog and he just flipped from his girlfriend and he would tell us in the office how he was always like, he could hook up with women because he's quite a handsome guy. Okay. And women would just. But I guess that's it. The women would approach him. So they always have a dog.

Suzie: It's a very easy way to approach someone.

Mel: Approach. And then. Yeah. And so the dog was like a source of his sex.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: Which was just very interesting to me. But I think it was the women approaching him.

Suzie: It's a lot easier for women to approach men if they. Men have a dog.

Mel: Got a dog.

Suzie: I'm not saying guys get a dog because you need to be able to take care of a dog. A dog. Okay. Don't just get a dog to **** women. But it is a good thing if you feel like you can take care of the dog by yourself and like.

Mel: But I also think that if women see. It's a bit like we talked about this in a previous episode, like a man who has a child or whatever. If you see a man with a dog, you think he must be nice.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: I'm sure that's what it is.

Suzie: And I think that they can take care of something.

Mel: Exactly. And a dog is kind of like, cool. A cat I personally think is weird.

Suzie: Cat is weird. I'm sorry for everyone who has a cat out there, cats are weird.

Mel: Well, I used to have cats when I was a kid.

Suzie: You're weird, Mel.

Mel: But my husband's violently allergic to them. And he literally can't be in a room. And he starts to like his thing. Throat constricts. But men and cats, I just think.

Suzie: That'S I know men who. Men. Single men who just have cats.

Mel: That's weird.

Suzie: It is weird.

Mel: It's weird.

Suzie: It's a weird.

Mel: Single girls. It's a bit different because I've never understood a cat, but it's much easier. Right. Cats don't need you, really.

Suzie: But that's why I'm like, what the is the point of this cat?

Mel: Well, it's true. Yeah.

Suzie: That's just me being a cat hater.

Mel: And then a friend of mine who's a doctor told me, like, if you die and you're like, yeah, the cat.

Suzie: Will eat your face.

Mel: Yeah. I think dogs probably eat you too.

Suzie: No, but the dog would be sad.

Mel: Anyway, we're going way off the single man topic.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: But the point about. So I showed men are lonely. Men are lonely. And there are lots of people, like, very high profile people talking about this now, like Scott Galloway, who talks a lot. He's talked on like, Steve Bartlett's podcast and stuff like that. And I think there's a lot of truth to why men are lonely that links into what we've talked about, single women and the dating apps and the whole thing. And I think my view is kind of similar to people like Scott Galloway's views. I think that at the moment, this didn't happen when I was young. Women are like the same group of women. I. All women are going for this tiny group of, like, should we call them top men? Like, you know, hyper good looking, gonna be an amazing provider, have an amazing career, great guy. Like, got the whole package, the whole package going on. And so all women are going like, oh, for this tiny thing. So, like, you know, you've got the, the career of, I don't know, some billionaire. And, you know, you've got. You look like I was asking you, who's a good looking guy?

Suzie: I don't ******* know. You said Tom Brady, which I would agree.

Mel: I keep saying Tom Brady because I keep thinking he's this all American big guy.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: But like, I'm sorry, not everyone can go, he. There's a reason he was married to Giselle Bundchen.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Is. She's ****** gorgeous.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And you have to be realistic. Right. And you have to kind of punch within your weight.

Suzie: But I, you know what? I know a lot of women.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: Hot as ****. And they go for these ugly boys. Mel. That is an epidemic as well. And no one talks about it.

Mel: Hang on, hang on a second. But are these boys, are they like, got really good careers? Are they really nice? Nope. So what's wrong with them. Does it make feel better?

Suzie: I don't know what it is. I think because women are attracted to kind of goofy humor and stuff like that. There is something about hot *** women going for like not that cute of guys for whatever reason. And like I'm not saying that like, like for me it's like I've talked about this before. It's like my top three things are like they have to be really like kind. They have to be actually like a very good person. That's a very important thing to me. They have to be funny and they have to have ambition. And like those are my top three things I'm looking for in a guy.

Mel: That's what I was looking for.

Suzie: Yeah. And like, look, don't even come in that. But like I have to still be attracted to the person. Right? But for me, personality comes first.

Mel: Yeah, I 100 agree.

Suzie: You can't be like a ******* dud, but you can't be like oh yeah.

Mel: So you should I guess rewind a little bit of what I was saying is that I think that women also, men can have really high standards. Like what are you talking about? Like, you know, you can't all go out with Pamela Anderson and you know, even now.

Suzie: Well, that's why a lot of like the guys are single too though.

Mel: Totally unrealistic. But I think that women. What? I don't think it's just about the looks. It's about, you know, they want this guy to be some, you know, hyper successful guy. And yeah, that it's very helpful. I think your husband is.

Suzie: Well, men and women are not like single. Like single guys and girls are not. And no one's settling anymore. Right.

Mel: That's it. So they're not like you've got this whole pool and this whole pool and they're not just, no one's matching. Yeah, they're just kind of going for a little teeny percentage which is leaving everyone else and then nobody else is willing to kind of also give each other a chance. I mean I've told you of a couple of stories of, of younger women. I know where I knew a guy who was single and I kind of, you know, so this is a really great guy. He's a really nice guy, he's single. And I showed the photo and they're like, no. And you know what you mean no. And there's like one instance which I told you about is he's not ugly at all. He's a nice looking guy with a great career.

Suzie: Happens she's like quote unquote not our.

Mel: Type, which is like. Does that mean, like, you don't even.

Suzie: Know until you get there? Yeah.

Mel: And also, if you are not even willing to go on a date to kind of see. Because we all know what it's like, you know, we all know people who sometimes are actually not that photogenic or whatever, or until you know them, then they're really like, wow, what an appealing person. Like, you have to know the whole person. Yeah.

Suzie: That's why online dating is.

Mel: Exactly. And I've. And you and I have both talked about this many times, how we've known people, and I know people who are physically incredibly attractive, but then you know what they like. It's just kind of. It makes them almost invisible. So it's the same the other way around. If you're not, like, hyper, hyper, hyper beautiful, but you've got this amazing personality and charisma, and you meet that person, it lights up the person. Right. And you have a conversation, and it can be, you know, very sexy. And I just think, why on earth, if you're single? So, ladies, you need to. I think this is. A lot of women do this. For ****'* sake. If you're single and you want to find somebody and somebody says, oh, I know somebody, blah, blah, blah, why wouldn't you go on the date?

Suzie: Yeah, I know. That ***** me up, too. It's like, just go. Just do it for the experience.

Mel: What's the worst thing that could happen?

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: I mean, for God's sake, it's dinner or a drink or whatever. It's an hour of your life. Two hours, maybe three. Okay, forget.

Suzie: Hopefully not three. But if it's dinner.

Mel: Yeah, maybe if it's dinner, you got a nice dinner out of it. I don't know. But, I mean, come on, you've got to be open.

Suzie: I know, but so do men, I think. But also a lot of. Can I just say, guys.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: A lot of you guys are duds nowadays, because all you like, there's just. Men don't want to talk to women anymore.

Mel: Yeah, well, you keep telling.

Suzie: There's no connection. Well, for younger guys. I still have a lot of experience with younger guys. The youngest that I will ever go is, like, 30, which is like. I don't even think I would. Like, it's just so young for me. But, like, young guys, they don't know how to connect with women. It's like they actually get physically nervous. And it's like, maybe. And like, was this always the case?

Mel: No, because I think we've. We've there's another thing we've talked about, I think, in, you know, before, men just sort of kept trying, went for the rejection, but they just kept asking. And I was telling, like, Max, my husband is very, like, you know, big personality. And he would just. He'd always be asking girls that. And he'd just be like. And I said, well, what if I said just, they rejected me. Fine, just move on. Yes, person. Okay, fine, you don't want it. It's like, if I don't ask, how am I gonna get a date? Yeah, I understand that. That was a very different time. And now is like, people are so, like, wound up about all this stuff.

Suzie: And people are wound up, but men are so much more. Like their algorithms are completely different than my algorithm. Do you know what I mean?

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: In, like, terms of, like, social media and, like, honestly, everything else.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: So I don't know what they're seeing or, like, what the information they're getting of, like, you know. But there's just the commonalities I find are so unmatched nowadays that it's, like, really hard to find someone my age that I actually, like, really, like, and, like, want to hang out with. Like, I'm like. My guy friends are still, like, late 30s, like, 35. Like, because I just don't. I can't. I can't connect with someone with a guy who's 30 years old. It's the most bizarre thing to me.

Mel: But what. What are they? I mean, like, so as an example, I would say, like, my husband. I mean, he likes sport. I ******* hate sport. Yeah, but it's not like that.

Suzie: It's not like.

Mel: It's like. But, you know, like, in terms of what you're interested in, like, we don't watch the same TV show.

Suzie: Yeah. That would actually **** me off, though. TV is a very big thing for me.

Mel: Ever watch the same tv? Unless it's the news or it's political?

Suzie: Like, I love watching movies with my partner. Like, that is like, never watch movies. My favorite thing.

Mel: Documentaries. He's good at. He doesn't like fiction, so documentaries. But I very rarely.

Suzie: No, but you guys talk about stuff.

Mel: Like, all the time. Men, everything.

Suzie: I swear to God, I have yet to find a guy who I, like, love talking to that's my age.

Mel: Are they just sort of stupid?

Suzie: There's.

Mel: What do they talk about?

Suzie: I don't know. It's. They don't talk about anything. Like, I'm carrying the conversation, I find. Wow, that's what's ****** up. It's like, I am so I don't want to carry the conversation. I want to find someone who I can learn something from. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm looking for someone who I can like, actually, like there's like a give and take and like, I'm happy to provide my good stuff of like, you know, good sex, good food, good. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like I have a lot to provide in like the creative aspect and the sexual aspect.

Mel: I love the way you've put that.

Suzie: And I know that like I like a guy who provides a like, obviously like more financial and like smarts.

Mel: Yeah. Aspect.

Suzie: But I find that a lot of these guys who are young don't have any.

Mel: They're not smart.

Suzie: There's. It's like they. A lot of them have great jobs. A lot of young guys still have great jobs, but they haven't. It's like they. The work ethic isn't there or something. Or it's just like they are super self conscious or I think they're on Instagram, right? Like too much. Like it's social media. It's like it's this. And I have no idea. I'm not a young guy, right? Like, I have no idea what, what the issue is. Guys, if you're listening and you're on guy and you completely disagree with this or you think I'm saying something crazy, you ******* message us. Because I don't know what the problem is. And like I've tried, like I've tried dating guys my own age and it's like I haven't been able to figure it out because I've given them chances.

Mel: You've given them chances? I've given them chances. So what does like an older guy talk about?

Suzie: It's just for whatever reason, there's like this sense of like knowing that's like one super hot. Because it's like they're mature and they don't have to like prove anything. And it's like conversations are usually flowing a lot better. Or I feel like I can just ask questions a lot easier and they'll like be more open with answers maybe.

Mel: Okay, but do you think it's because they're more interested in you?

Suzie: I have no idea what it is. That's a man question.

Mel: But that is very.

Suzie: But there's also, I mean like, let's be like, let's be honest. Like there's a bunch of like older men who I've gone out with who are also duds.

Mel: Well, yeah, there are Many people, obviously, that are dads.

Suzie: Very. Yeah, they're just dads. But like, there's a lot of, you know, it's. It's more like older guys just. I don't know, there's this just like openness about them more than, like, there are like younger guys in this generation.

Mel: Yeah. I mean, I. I think that is generational. That is. That is this whole stuff about people being scared about approaching people. It must be. I mean, obviously there's, you know, the older you get, you're much more confident.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And if you. Because you've achieved something in your life, you're confident. You're also. If you've had a family and children, you've got lots of experience and you just don't really give a **** about what people think about you. So there's that. That's important. And if, you know, if you're. Especially for men, it's not very appealing if they're very self conscious. So obviously there's that element. But it is kind of weird, this whole thing. So we've done an episode where we've talked about why there are so many single women and now we wanted to talk about why there are so many single men. Because there are. And the difference. One thing that keeps coming up out single men is that they're lonely. As obviously men are more interested in being taken care of, I think, in a sense of sort of domestic duties.

Suzie: Absolutely.

Mel: Maybe that's what this. What's what, Pete? You know, that's a lot of the narrative in the media. But there's all these lonely men and you're like, well, why are they all lonely if they're all these single women? But it must be that these single women, that's my view, are just wanting something very specific. Whereas before there was more kind of cross dating.

Suzie: Like no one talks anymore.

Mel: Yeah. I mean, that must be a huge.

Suzie: Men don't approach women at the bar.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Women refuse to approach men still. Yeah, a lot of the time.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And then so older, like not older. So just guys in general are just ****** because they can't get a girl because they're too afraid to go approach a woman. But also then they go on these dates and they don't have anything to say.

Mel: Yeah. I mean, it's.

Suzie: It's just because no one has is. We've had. We had Covid. And then there's just no communication. They don't know how to talk to girls anymore. It's like a weird thing.

Mel: I think it's a weird thing about the way you look at information, it was interesting. One of my daughters was saying to me today that a lot of her friends who are kind of, you know, anywhere between 2022, whatever, that a lot of them are like deleting social media apps.

Suzie: Oh my God, I love that for them.

Mel: Yeah. I mean, one, because they got too much on their phone, but also the ones that they don't kind of serve them. Huh. That's interesting. Like what?

Suzie: Tick tock, Instagram?

Mel: Well, a lot of the 20s is Snapchat. They lose use a lot. Right. And I think Snapchat is maybe a little juvenile. I don't know who the hell uses Snapchat unless you're a teenager. And how they make money, I have no idea. But in a certain age range. Yeah, that's all they use. I mean, I've said to one of my daughters who's younger and said to her, why can't you just text the person? She's.

Suzie: Yeah, well, it came out when I was in high school, I think.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And then I remember using it and I deleted it so long ago.

Mel: But they use it as a messaging thing, which is. And it's data. I mean it just eats data.

Suzie: And don't the messages disappear?

Mel: Yeah, they do as well. Yeah. And there's. I don't. There's some way.

Suzie: So that must be the appeal.

Mel: Well, I guess there's that if you saying things you shouldn't be saying. But also I think you can. Some way of saving photos. And then there's this weird thing which I would drive me mad is you can see like on a map where everyone is. So you can see everyone at all times. It's like horrendous. Yeah, but, but so that's interesting. And then some of them are deleting TikTok and I think that it must be because it's just too much. It's overwhelming. And sometimes I do find myself like, you know, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling through TikTok or something like that. I just, I. I'm very visual person. I really like videos. It's like I. I've told you, I'm a content *****. I just love watching content. Yeah. And I always been like that. I love. I much prefer to watch a show or whatever than listen to music. I like listening to music, but I'm just more visual, the visual thing. And so I just. And then you see yourself like, what are you doing? Like, this stuff is.

Suzie: I know, I've done that so many times. It is like, why am I watching this? How did I get Here.

Mel: But then you also realize the amount of misinformation.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And I was looking at some stuff, you know, and all these horrible hurricanes and stuff happening in Florida and whatever. And there was this video that came up, and I showed my husband. I was like, oh, my God, that's the waves. And he's like, mel, it hasn't started yet. That's ******* AI. Like, it was a generated thing because it hadn't actually happened.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And it was just like, oh, my God. But you just kind of. You see it. So you take. Somewhere. It goes in your brain and you take it as real. Yeah. And I think it just so overwhelming. And then if you take that into the relationship realm, then people are just endlessly. You said this before, endlessly, kind of thinking was something better or something. Something's coming down the road or somebody better looking or somebody more interesting. What's.

Suzie: Yeah, it's just the same with, like. Like, politics dividing us. Right. Like, the algorithm and who. Like. And obviously, we don't get political on the show. Like, no, you know, whatever. But, like, you know, there's Trump support. Like, Trump is, like, in his group is like, four boys. Right. Like, he's pushing all of his content into the algorithm of younger, like, coming up men. Right. And where, obviously, Kamala is pushing her narrative to young girls. Right. She went on call her Daddy. Like, there's.

Mel: I know there's these things that are.

Suzie: Happening, so obviously, everyone's gonna have this different opinion. And especially when you're, like, dividing that between men and women, that only divides them more. And then what do they have to talk about on a date?

Mel: I think that's a really, really good point. It's like, when I look at what I look on social media, it's all beauty products, fashion houses, probably dogs, because I've sent you a picture of dogs.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Recently. The other thing I have in my algorithm is I absolutely terrified of alligators and crocodiles. And because of the hurricane, like, oh.

Suzie: Yeah, there's a place.

Mel: Alligators. So I've got, like, ******* millions of videos of alligators. Oh, my God. But. And then I see my husband's. And it's like, he's a cook. He loves to cook, as we know, and he cooks for us.

Suzie: So. Sweetheart.

Mel: And he loves cooking, and he's. He loves watching things, and he learns all these tips. So it's all cooking. And then it'll be comedians, like sort of Jerry Seinfeld, like, very male kind of comedians he has. And then he likes vintage stuff.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And then spoiled yeah, and that's it.

Suzie: It's actually so funny. I, like, gave my phone to this guy because he was like, I'll give you my Instagram. And he was like. He was like, oh. He, like, went to the Explore page and he was like. He's like, are you bi? And I was like, yeah. Like, so random. And he was like, oh, yeah, you have a lot of girls in your Explore page. And I was like, what the ****? Like, I wouldn't even thought about that. But, like, it's not like. It's like. I mean, some of it's like hot women, but. Yeah, like, that's all of it.

Mel: But that's like a big.

Suzie: Isn't that crazy?

Mel: I'm just looking at the fashion, but.

Suzie: I mean, I got it right.

Mel: I mean, did you get it right? I mean, there are a lot of girls on Instagram, but. But it's just so funny. And if you think about what is going into your brain. So my husband's never going to see anything about fashion. He's never going to see anything about houses. Exactly. It's decor, body products. Like, he has no idea.

Suzie: Okay, wait, can. Can. Let me ask you something. Go on, then. So let's say if you guys were in this generation today, do you think you would still meet Max and still feel the same about him? If, like, you guys were, like, 20 and 20. I don't know, 21, whatever. You guys met?

Mel: Well, we met through a friend. Yeah. Does that happen anymore?

Suzie: It does, but, like, would you guys still have **** in common? And, like, would you think if you saw him and, like, met him today's age with your opinions?

Mel: I think so, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't say when we met we had the same political opinions. I don't think we had the same. We didn't really come from. We come from different countries and slightly different backgrounds. Some similarities. But I think we had. We have a kind of. This is going to sound a bit deep, but, like, our soul connects, like, the something in the way we. Although we're very different, the things that we. We match. Like, we're. We're kind of both yin and yang a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're also, like. I'm much more kind of softer. He's much tougher personality, so in that sort of way. So. I think so, yeah. Yeah. I mean, and I also had, like, I was telling you about what Scott Galloway said about what women. And this is a video that's been played a bajillion times. I think he was on Stephen Bartlett or something like that. It's one of these very big podcast.

Suzie: I'm like, I don't even know.

Mel: And. And he said, you know, what are three women? The three things. Sorry. That women look for in a man. And it's what you said is kindness. I. E. The guy's not a ****. Two, he's smart, because if he's intelligent, it kind of signals that he's going to be able to deal with situations, which is very appealing. And like you said, you have a good conversation, but it's very reassuring. Like, oh, my God, this is.

Suzie: Well, for me, it's like, if a guy has a sense of humor, he's a smart guy. Yeah, but it's a different kind of.

Mel: Yeah, but she also. He also said that sense of humor is very important, and he connected it to intelligence. I can't remember. And the last thing was that you either have. That you're a provider, that you're either signaling that I. You're young, therefore, you're signaling your. You've got potential to be a provider. And he wasn't talking about everyone being a billionaire. He was just talking about literally, you know, get on off your *** and provide for your family, whoever you are, or just do something, you know. And I would say that's exactly what I was looking for. 100%. Those are the three things I was looking for. I say that to my girls. That's you. That's what you need. If you're looking and they're both heterosexual, both looking for men is like, you. The man has to be. Has to be a good man.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And a bit like we're talking about the dogs or like, you know, look after looking after your parents. Like, Max is very good to his parents. He's always helping them out and stuff like that. It's very appealing. You see that in a partner that you feel, oh, my God, if they're. They must be very kind. They must be good, then that's going to come back to you. Right? And then the smart thing. Yeah, I mean, I think the funny thing is really important, being funny.

Suzie: For me, it's just very important. Some people don't like comedy. Some people don't like comedy shows. Like, or like, whatever. They don't like humor. People are like that. For me, it's very important that someone has, like, able to laugh at themselves, able to be funny throughout the day, able to see, like, the, like, better things, like half glass, full kind of people. Like, those are my kind of people. But, like, that's not for Everyone, people like to serious people too. And like, they don't want the kind of making fun of everything, which is like, I'm not saying that's the way to go, but there's, there's a very nice balance.

Mel: Yeah. I think the comedy thing, the thing that I find the most appealing in, in my husband is that it's like just not take yourself too serious. I know. I find people, I mean, I appreciate that maybe you, some people have very impressive careers or whatever. Personally not really interested in that. Interest in the person. Like taking yourself really seriously is just like, it's annoying, isn't it? And so if you have a sense of humor and you can laugh at yourself is very appealing. Yeah. And you can say, look, I'm, you know, I'm not the dog's bollocks. Do you like that? That's a good English expression.

Suzie: Whoa, ****. That mean?

Mel: Yeah, it means hot. I'm not quite sure why it's.

Suzie: But dog's bollocks. Like the dog's balls.

Mel: Yeah, Dogs, balls, dogs bollocks. It means you're like top, top tier. Top dog, top. Yeah, got it. Top, top tier person. But yeah, but then. So is that the problem is like everyone too intense? Is everyone taking everything too seriously?

Suzie: I think there's a lot of that.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: I think there's a lot of people taking. Especially women.

Mel: Well, we have a predisposition, folks, man.

Suzie: Like, there are women out there who are so nuts and like girls, I love you, but like, please, like, we don't have to be so serious about so many things. Like, I feel like. Because like. And also like, obviously men are divisive. Women are so ******* divisive because they're like. Well, and I don't think this is just women, but like a lot of people in this day and age are like, if you don't believe in the same things that I do, I won't even talk to you.

Mel: I know.

Suzie: I want to be your friend. That is so nuts. We have to converse and debate on things. It's okay if people don't have the same opinions of you as long as they're not being a **** about it. Like, yeah, you know, like it's, it's okay. You should have friends with different opinions. It's important for like a well rounded knowledge of the world.

Mel: Yeah. You know, I think that is a very North American thing.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Because in North America, even in Canada, everyone's so partisan. Like, you know, if you're, if you're going to vote conservative or liberal, then they're just like, you know, you're automatically this. You're in a box. I personally, from my experience, it's a very North American thing. Even, like, you watch the news and stuff, especially in the States, and it's like, oh, my God. That's just one side of that.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And I'm not saying we don't do that in Europe or, you know, where I'm from in the uk, But I have plenty of my friends who have differing views, political views, to me, and we know it. And we're like, look, we don't agree. I mean, we agree we have the same values and the same ethics and morality. Yeah, but we might have different political views, largely to do with finances. Right, but that's fine. We're like, look, we don't agree, and that's fine. But that's ridiculous. To not talk or not even consider somebody as a partner unless it was extreme.

Suzie: Well, that's what I'm saying. It's like if they're a ******* **** about their own views and they're trying to push them on you. Yeah, well, like, without even having a conversation. Right. Like, that's when they're being a ****, and that's when you kind of cut them out or cut them off or whatever. But, like, if you're not being a ****, if you're able to, like, still have a conversation with them, you should just have people in your life who don't agree with you. Do you know what I mean? About everything? That's why I think so many of these, like, also, like, women's friendships and even, like, male friendships. Right. Like, if you're around people that are constantly just, like, giving you the thumbs up, like, always agreeing with you, telling you. Yes. That's not reality.

Mel: No.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: And it's healthy to have discussion and say, look, I don't agree with you.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: But, you know, have your opinion. That's fine. It's not my opinion. I mean, there's lots of things we don't agree on.

Suzie: Of course, Mel. Except everything. Because we're best friends. We agree on everything.

Mel: But I. It's not. I think there's also this thing, though, about, like. You've talked a lot about it. Young women who. Particularly young women. I'm sorry, I'm really not trying to be a patronizing old cow, but it's like. It's like they go on a date, not the old cow, you know, and often having sex on the first date, we can discuss whether that's a good idea or not. And then. Then they get all upset, they haven't got the text. And then they're sort of literally sending this guy this sort of 14 paragraph text, which I know as a Gen X, millennials and Gen Z's don't read long texts or emails. And it's like, and sort of going, you know, this having this whole deep. Like they've created this whole scenario in their head.

Suzie: I have so many girlfriends that are so nuts like this.

Mel: It's like you just had sex with this guy. You literally. That's it. And he is entitled to like. Or not like. Or not want to get married.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Like, chill.

Suzie: I just like literally never want to talk to you.

Mel: It's just chilling.

Suzie: You made the decision to sleep with him.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: I'm sorry that he doesn't want to sleep with you again. It's not you, it's probably him. But like that's it.

Mel: Does it even matter whether it's you or him? It doesn't matter. It wasn't. Right, Move on. Next fish in the sea.

Suzie: I mean, like, also, I mean, you know, guys, we've talked about this on, on our pod before. I don't remember which episode, but like, you know, sleeping on the first date. Right. It's like for girls, it's. If you want a relationship with this guy, I'm not saying you can't sleep with him on the first date, but if you are looking, if you are literally dating for a relationship.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: It's better to not them on the first date and maybe wait till number three. Actually, I would even say number four. Wow. Because actually in my, since I've been kind of freshly single, just starting today, just started to go out there a little bit more going on the apps and such. But I've found that like day on date three, I know if I like them or I don't.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: On date three, that's, it's like I'm, I definitely want to **** them or I definitely do not.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: So like you **** them on date four, right. And then, then you're happier about it. And then it's like, it feels like, okay, I actually did like this guy and I can kind of. Now we can kind of talk. You know that he's going to take you out. Do you know what I mean? Instead of like ******* him on the first date, he's never going to take you out again because you just kind of gave the milk away for free.

Mel: So bad.

Suzie: I hate that saying.

Mel: But it's so, but it is true.

Suzie: So bad.

Mel: And a little bit of mystery and that sounds very old fashioned but of course it works. And men, you know, can't resist. I mean but you know, equally if you go and you know, go to wherever and get. Have too much to drink and end up having sex and that's what you wanted, then great.

Suzie: Oh yeah.

Mel: But then just get over yourself.

Suzie: Yeah, that's all it was. Just don't expect anything else after that.

Mel: Don't expect for. You can't expect anything to then send you this. Oh, you were great. Yeah.

Suzie: Yeah. I mean like you probably were. But he probably just wanted to and that was it. Now he got it out of the system and just relax. But guys, that's also the thing. And we've talked about this before, but I'll say it again. And it's like guys, if you are sleeping on with her on the first date and you're expecting her to text you back or whatever, she doesn't ******* do that either. Because maybe you were ****. Maybe a small **** quite possibly. And you know, it's just like you can't call her a ***** if you slept with her on the first date and she doesn't text you back.

Mel: No. I do feel maybe this is the root of the problem. Susie. We found it the single women and single men and the fact that everyone is just cannot seem to have a relationship anymore. I don't, you know, is it. Everyone's too serious.

Suzie: God, just relax, have a little fun.

Mel: Relax. Have a drink, relax. Don't worry about it. And you know what if somebody doesn't like you? **** them.

Suzie: Ah, that's a great saying. Just them.

Mel: Not literally just them off.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: That they don't like you probably best not to. But just like why do you get. Don't take all this baggage into your inner being.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: Just let it go.

Suzie: Yes, let it go.

Mel: It doesn't, you know, and the, you know, like we've talked about this people. I know people, you know, of differing ages who, who date and they, they come off so desperate and they like have sex and then they send them so much info or so many questions and you're like, I don't get it. Guys.

Suzie: Like what is meant for you will be for you.

Mel: 100.

Suzie: I don't think it's like, it's when you put too much pressure on the situation. Single guys and single girls put too much pressure on a situation. It just, it never turns out the way you want it to.

Mel: It never. Relationships are meant to be, you know, you get to know each other, you're having fun and you kind of little mystery, you know. Sexy. Yeah. I mean, exciting. Yeah.

Suzie: Don't take it too seriously.

Mel: Don't. And it may become serious, but I know that, you know.

Suzie: Yeah, exactly. Let it become a little bit more exciting and serious at the same time. But you have to be so serious at the beginning. It doesn't have to. It's the worst part. I mean, best part of a new relationship. Is it not. It's not serious yet.

Mel: Yeah. But I do think this thing about. We've had a few comments about it on our social media about men saying it's much easier for women to date, which I find odd.

Suzie: Because it's easier for women to date.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Like, because we have more choice.

Mel: Choice, I think. Is that it? I don't know.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And that men are more and more young men are very lonely, which is kind of really sad. I don't know. What did they do before?

Suzie: Well, they didn't have social media.

Mel: I know. But like, I mean, this is the thing, I've said this to you many times is we went out. I went out all the time. I mean from the age of literally, you know, I started socializing probably like 13, 14, partying. English were a bit.

Suzie: Yeah, yeah.

Mel: And then I met my husband when I was 24. But in that period that was just partying. Yeah. I mean all the time. And I would if I was in at home on a Friday night, which never happened. But let's say I was past like 7 or something. My dad, who's no we've discussed is a very social being and he would be like, what are you doing? What you here for? Go out, do something.

Suzie: Oh, if I. If I ever have kids, those kids are going out and socializing.

Mel: I mean, as you know, my children are mega sociable. I mean, I guess chips.

Suzie: They have to figure it out. They have to learn how to talk to people, learn how to converse and learn how to.

Mel: Like most people aren't.

Suzie: I know.

Mel: And, and I think if you're. I know.

Suzie: But also can. Should we blame the parents then? Is it the protectiveness? It's your generation of parents now. Right.

Mel: Yeah. Are we scared that something horrendous is.

Suzie: Going to obviously happened and this is.

Mel: It does. But I mean it, it happened before. Is it because it's more expensive? It's more dangerous? I don't know.

Suzie: I don't know if we're going to be able to solve this tonight.

Mel: I. I really want to solve this. I'm very disturbed. But anyway, one thing we're not going to solve it so we're going to move on to the spilling of the tea.

Suzie: Yeah. But if you guys are a single man and you guys want to share your story with us, we'd love to hear it from a male perspective, obviously, whether you're a young guy or a guy who's been in the biz for like, you know, years and years and still getting your **** wet, we want to hear from you. But, you know, it's a friendly reminder. You can go to sharemytruth.com and send us something there or you can go to our instas and stuff at Share My truth Pod. But yeah, what are we spilling the tea about today, Mel?

Mel: So it's about some of the funny comments in our social media. So on various platforms, YouTube, tick tock. Yeah, but I think. So this is a key one. Right. So we did an episode called Does Size Matter? And it caused, you know.

Suzie: Well, you're gonna have to go. If you guys haven't listened to it, you're just gonna have to go back and listen to it and see for yourself if size matters or not. To you.

Mel: Absolutely. And on the, on the YouTubes and go and listen. Yeah. And then one of the questions I thought was interesting is like, what about circumcised and uncircumcised?

Suzie: And that's an excellent.

Mel: Which we didn't discuss point. I think the only thing we did discuss about it, to be fair, is when we talk about size, does the end bit like, you know, with the jacket, you know, the, the turtleneck. Exactly. That adds little.

Suzie: No, it doesn't.

Mel: A little bit.

Suzie: No, it doesn't.

Mel: Well, it goes over the. It's going to add a little bit of length.

Suzie: I don't think so.

Mel: Anyway. I don't think that was the question. This person wanted me. They wanted us to talk about it. I don't really know if we have a preference.

Suzie: I definitely have a preference. Oh, that's because I'm a nice Jewish girl looking for a nice Jewish girl.

Mel: Okay, so this is a good question from a European, because I'd say in the uk, not that I've seen any British woolies for a very long time.

Suzie: Yeah. But they're all. They're all uncircumcised.

Mel: Yeah, it's very. It's not common because it's not like a thing that's thought to be good. I know men who have had to go and have it done later in your life, which is horrendous. I know two people had to do that when they were in there.

Suzie: I mean they had to.

Mel: Well, they had a medical issue. No. Yeah, because you can get issues with it and I can't even imagine how much that.

Suzie: Thank you.

Mel: So you know the definitely bonuses to doing that when you're young, when you're a baby and. But North American men just have it done. I don't know about young men. Do they still all have it done here, I assume.

Suzie: I hope so. I mean. Okay guys, I'll let you know my real opinion on this.

Mel: Yeah, go on then. Come on then. Okay.

Suzie: And it's not just because I'm, you know, of the tribe, but I have seen many in my day.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: Circumcised, not circumcised.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie: When I was a young woman I didn't really have an opinion because I was like, well that's just a **** as long as you're cleaning. Oh yeah. Like my ex boyfriend when I was like 18 had an uncircumcised one.

Mel: Really? A North American guy? Yes.

Suzie: And it was, I think it's because he's Catholic. He was, he was Catholic guy. Like he came from one of those backgrounds and they don't do that. So anyway, so Houston, circumcised, his **** was great. Totally fine.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie: But in my day and age here, it's just less to deal with cleanliness, isn't it? Cleanliness, circumcised, it's nice. And it's not saying that if you're uncircumcised you can't be clean. It's just you have to do more work to keep it clean.

Mel: Definitely.

Suzie: If you're not doing that then women are going to know and it's not going to be nice. So if you just have an uncircumcised one, make sure you're just keeping clean, you know, if you like. Yeah, because you have to shower like twice a day.

Mel: Well, you have to get stuff in the bits and bobs that go over each other. I only, yeah. My only thought for men, and I'm thinking of men, is that it, isn't it? It might feel nicer to have a non circumstance because they could got more friction.

Suzie: Here's the thing, I've dealt with both of them.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie: And you know, the circumcised ones still come in two seconds so is it really saving that much friction? You know what I mean? Like is it really feeling any better? I have no idea.

Mel: I was thinking more in their alone time, but maybe it's. Come on, I don't.

Suzie: Give me a break.

Mel: I mean I haven't given it a huge amount of thought, but I. I just. Yeah, I. It's like, it's. I don't think in North America is it even a thing in the uk I think I've. I've heard of people saying funny stories like, particularly Americans or Canadians who go and live in the UK and they start dating British men and they're just.

Suzie: And they're all uncircumcised.

Mel: O. Oh, nobody told me about this. Because also, like, what.

Suzie: We don't know how to deal with it. If you don't know how to deal with it, you're like, do I pull it down? What do I do?

Mel: What do you do with it?

Suzie: What do I do? It's like this weird turtleneck thing and it just kind of. Because when it's like, not hard, you know, it's like in its little cove. It's like in its little turtle shell.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: I mean, and then when it gets hard, it just kind of naturally comes out of it. Yeah, but it's just like, it's. It's interesting to just kind of see it in there because it just kind of looks like a sad banana, which peel's still on. It's upsetting.

Mel: I mean, it's not for me, but.

Suzie: I mean, you know, but guys, if we're not. We're not hating on the uncircumcised, okay? I've dated them my time for me now, just looking for an njb. What a nice Jewish boy.

Mel: Oh, right.

Suzie: They need to be circumcised. But they're going to be. Going to be there, for ****'* sake. But yeah, like, look, there's nothing wrong with an uncertainty. Just keep it clean, keep it fresh for the ladies. If we're putting our mouths down there, it's the least you could ******* do.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie: It's the least you got. **** do. Keep it. Keep it nice and clean.

Mel: Get myself in the face. Yeah. Well, thanks, Susie.

Suzie: You're welcome.

Mel: I think that's pretty.

Suzie: What's the last uncircumcised one you had? Ever had one?

Mel: Yeah, I mean, before I was mad. Yeah. Years ago. I mean, that would be. How long have I known Max? 1997.

Suzie: Quite a while.

Mel: Do the math. That's a while. It's. And it's not something I need to go back to. Wow. I'm good. I'm fine.

Suzie: Yeah, no, you have a good one now.

Mel: It's all good.

Suzie: You got an ngb, baby.

Mel: Exactly. It's all good. It's all good. But so that was a question. So that was interesting.

Suzie: Well, guys, if you have other questions like that for us whether to do with dicks or not, we'll talk about that.

Mel: Could be to do with anything.

Suzie: Yeah, we'd love to hear from you, but please don't.

Mel: I mean, we do get quite a lot of answers to **** pics. Would you like to go back to that?

Suzie: Yes, absolutely. Guys, we have a PayPal on our Instagram if you guys actually want to post your **** on our website. And we'll also put on an Instagram. We'll put it on our. Our little link tree. Okay, we don't have it there yet, but if you guys actually want us to rate your dicks, preferably Mel writing your dicks because she loves to do it.

Mel: I don't. I really don't want to rate anybody's ****.

Suzie: 500. $500,000.

Mel: Yeah, but we're saying this because you said this. Obviously.

Suzie: We've actually gotten some, but no one paid us. And I'm not writing any of them. I'm not even looking at them. If you guys are listening to this. I'm not looking at them. I'm not rating them. You better. Chaos.

Mel: It's. Hey, boys, you know, not to pun intended. It takes a lot of balls to take a picture of yourself and send it off.

Suzie: No, I think a lot of guys love doing that.

Mel: Is it really a sensible thing to be doing?

Suzie: It's not. They do it and I love when their faces are in it and I'm like, I'm going to come for you, bud. Black me out of you. It's not actually, because that's horrible, but you know, interesting. Anyway, danger thing. Okay, guys, well, we love you so.

Mel: Much after that lovely conversation.

Suzie: Love you. Love you. We'll talk to you soon. We will Send us money. Bye. Sharing my truth pod is so excited to partner with vibrator.com where the A in vibrator is the number 8. This is an extremely exclusive code where no other podcast has it. If you go to vibrator.com right now, use the code ms.15. That's ms.15.vibrator.com. you can now get 15% off anything in store. That's any sex toys for you, your partner, your neighbor, your mom. We don't judge, we don't care. Get it? Now go to the link in our bio, put in the code and get jiggy with it.

Mel: Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at Sharing my truth pod and leave us a voicemail on our website, sharingmytruth.com to share your stories and experiences with us. Wpeaker A: Welcome to sharing my truth with Mel and Suzie, the uncensored version where we bear it all.

Speaker B: We do 1234.

Speaker A: Hello, everyone, and welcome back to sharing my truth pod. You're here with Mel and Suzy, and we just had a really, really important and powerful interview with this gorgeous and lovely girl. Her name is Brittany Krystantos, and I hope I'm saying that right. So we just finished the interview. It's on a really important topic that I think a lot of our audience will take something really positive away from. And she speaks a lot about mental health, and she is a best selling author. She's a speaker, she's a mental health advocate. You can hear her own podcast at Dear Brittany podcast, which is really cool. Her instagram. Instagram is @brittkrystantos She spells it for you on the pod. And, yeah, if you're struggling with mental health, like, I think a lot of us are in this mental health crisis, she's a really important person to kind of get in touch with. Hey, babes.

Speaker B: Hello, darling.

Speaker A: How are you?

Speaker B: I'm fine. I'm all good.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: Yeah. So we've done this interview. Obviously, mental health is, I think, something that's very misunderstood. And we, too, talk about it a lot more today than we did, you know, 2030 years ago, when I was young, which is great. I mean,obviously, that's very positive. And we live in Canada, and Brittany is in Canada, too. And Canada really is a place where this is a very progressive country, and this is somewhere where you can get help, obviously, universal healthcare, but you can get help. You can speak to people. There are resources. They may not be perfect before anybody tells me off for that, but they really. It really is, you know, we're very lucky because that doesn't exist in a lot of other countries. Yeah, but she's an advocate. That is very important for people to talk about it. To talk about when they were in a dark place, how they went from the dark place to the light place, as it were. And for particularly anybody struggling, and probably in her case, because she's Gen Z, anybody who's young, who's struggling. And there really is an epidemic of that. I mean, I have two, as we know, I've said many times, two teenagers. Thankfully, that's not something I've had to deal with with my children, but with many of their friends. I've seen so many issues. Anxiety, depression, adhd, panic attacks, all sorts of, you know, very serious stuff. Obviously, very tragically, you know, suicides, particularly in the pandemic, that was really all too prevalent it was really horrible. Both my kids, I think they knew about five kids. Wow. And that, you know, just. I mean, there are no words for how horrendous that is. And I think, obviously, you need to find somebody if you are struggling. And that is the one probably good thing about social media is that you can find somebody who you can identify with, who you can inspire you, who maybe was in a tricky place, in a dark place, and managed to overcome their struggles and get help. And that actually could be very helpful. And she's obviously doing this as Gen Z. She's 25, so could obviously speak to younger people about that. And I know she does a lot of work about that, and she does speaking events and so on. And it is obviously very important because we're still not very clear as to what that is. What it is. Mental health.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: I think we bandy the word around and we talk about it incessantly. And, you know, I spoke to Brittany from my own point of view, as somebody who. My mother is mentally ill, has a mental illness. She's bipolar. And I've lived my whole life with that. And it's. It's very, very difficult for the family members. It's incredibly hard. And there is an enormous difference between that, which is sometimes not survivable, sometimes not very manageable in my mother's case, and mental health. And this idea of what does mental health actually mean? And there are levels of it. There's mental health that is, you are struggling. And as we all know, different people in our lives who, you know, like, let's say, will deal. I'll deal with stress in one way, and they'll deal with it. They'll just get very stressed out about something that just, to me, will be nothing. Like, for example, if I use you as an example, Suzy, you're somebody who's very, very good, very good at staying cool, calm, collected. In stressful situations. You seem to have a real ability to just not let it affect you, which is amazing.

Speaker A: Yeah. I don't know how I do it, to be honest. I don't know why.

Speaker B: I mean, I know you saw you once, you'd lost your phone, and I was like, holy ****, if I'd lost my phone, I'd be going nuts. You were like, yeah, it's okay. I was in an Uber, and you just very calmly, and the guy came back, and the car. Sorry, the phone was in the. The car had fallen out of a bag or whatever, but you were like, it's okay. You had it completely in your mind under control. Whereas the next person, the same thing could have happened, and they'd be going ******* apeshit. They'd be thinking, oh, my God, am I passwords and my credit card? Am I secure? You know, like, everything would be going in your head going. And, you know. So for one person, what something is, like, what's the big deal? Another person is a huge thing. Yeah, the same with depression. Like, you know, one person is depressed about or gets more, gets the blues or gets low very easily, and another person doesn't. So we all have a predisposition or gets anxious or nervous, and we all have a predisposition for something, but that's the state of being human, and I don't think we talk about that enough. And then the to understand that, that, I'm afraid, is being human. You are going to have moments in your life which are unbelievably stressful, and you're gonna have moments in your life where ******* everything is gonna happen at the same time. You know, something awful is gonna happen in your family. You're gonna have a financial problem. You're gonna have. It's all gonna. The **** is gonna rain down. And you just think, how the hell do I get through this? And you do, and that is unfortunately part of life. And obviously, some people are able to cope through those situations and others aren't. But even just this idea that you have days where you're blue, you're depressed, or you're low, and particularly women can be very affected because of hormonal changes. And to understand that that is life.

Speaker A: Yeah, I totally agree. It's a very hard. If you don't have a mental health issue in the way of something that's diagnosed by a psychologist or something, then you don't really fully understand the depth of what can happen with some people. Like, obviously Britney speaks about, and I'm totally with you, Mel. Like, it's. There is a huge mental health crisis, but there's also a huge mental illness crisis, and we should not be. The two can't really be compared, and they shouldn't be not connected, but intertwined in the way of, like, this is not the same thing.

Speaker B: It's not the same thing.

Speaker A: It's not the same thing.

Speaker B: You having a bad day?

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: And, you know, being somebody who has serious panic attacks or has serious mental health illness issues, you know, they're bipolar or they're schizophrenic or whatever it is, is not the same thing. It's not even the same conversation.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: And even I would say there are sort of three levels. There's mental illness, which may not be curable. It's something you manage.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: And probably isn't curable. Then there's mental health. Like you are. You are somebody who suffers from panic attacks or anxiety, extreme feelings of something or another, and you need some empathy from people. You need some help to come to grips with, some tools to be able to deal with those challenges. And then the third thing is this idea that we all have to manage our mind. We all have dark thoughts, some obviously a lot darker than others. We all have depressive thoughts. We have all kinds of thoughts that go through our head different every day that we have to manage. And stress levels, too. Like, sometimes, like, life is just. It's just like, oh, my God, it's just too much.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: But I'm afraid, you know, what are you gonna do, not deal with it?

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: And so I think our gen, my generation, the sort of gen x generation where there was nobody who ever said, oh, yeah, just take a mental health day. I mean, I think if you had said that while I was working in my twenties, they would be like, oh, what now? They would've fired you. I mean, I would have got fired if I. I mean, I think I once, once took a day off because I had. My hangover was so bad that I couldn't. But if you'd actually called up and said, you know, you'd actually be worried, saying, if some, some awful tragedy have happened in your family, that would have been difficult to say, look, I need to go to the funeral. I need to go and do this. Okay, in that case, maybe, okay. But it would, it was very difficult to, you know, to say, I'm suffering, or in that absolutely no way would anybody have listened to you. And that isn't good. And there was no empathy. I remember when I was young and I started out sort of working in the private sector, working in sales, and it was always like, don't mix emotions with business. Don't mix personal with business. And people would say to you all the time, this is business. And then I run my own businesses. And my view is completely different. I'm like, I'm sorry, but people make up businesses. Businesses are run by people. So you have to understand people. You have to be empathetic. We're not robots. And, you know, like that sort of eighties Wall Street Gordon gecko kind of, you know, eat people alive. You know, you, you know, you, you don't stop. You keep going. Do you know what I mean by that movie and that, obviously, yeah. Obviously, that's changed a huge amount. We've evolved a huge amount. It's really important. But there's also a level that people have to, some people are taking the ****, quite frankly, and they call up and say, I'm having a mental health day. Just because they can't be asked to get out of bed.

Speaker A: There's people who take advantage of it 100%. And that's the problem with, obviously, one of the problems with this mental health crisis is that it's not a physical problem, right? Even schizophrenia or being bipolar, some of these traits are more obvious than others, right? So it's like when you have, like a mental health problem, like you're stressed or you're like, depressed, it's like people can't see it, really.

Speaker B: Oh, 100%.

Speaker A: And so that's true. And so people find it super hard to understand because they're like, well, everything's okay with you. It looks like everything's fine. So are you really, like, you know, is something really going on? And like, obviously, like, that's a huge part of the problem because we can't, we have to rely on our empathy. And you can't rely on empathy when you're dealing with other people, right. It's like, how can you, if I'm telling you I'm having a bad day, you'll believe me because you know me, but I'm telling my boss I'm having a bad day, he's going to be suspicious. Seems like you were fine yesterday. So what's the problem?

Speaker B: And I agree with that, but I agree with that. But there is still this, this huge difference between, I'm finding it difficult to cope. I'm actually in a position where I'm taking some kind of, I'm having some kind of therapy, I'm taking some kind of drug for managing anxiety or whatever, which is a whole different level. And then there's another level which is actual illness. And what I mean by illness. And I think if people haven't lived this, have not seen it, they don't understand, like, you know, ideal. And again, I'm bringing this back to myself. I'm trying not to experience, I'm just trying to relate this to other people in a way that Britney, like, you know, I do feel that it's, it's important to talk about it, to sort of be a bit of an advocate. You know, my mother, I've, you know, one of the things I've recently dealt with is that is her being sectioned by the government. So that is, you know, Britain. My mom lives in the UK. And in the UK, we obviously also have you universal healthcare. And whatever anybody says about the NHS, it is incredible in dealing with these things. It's a huge organization. It's able to. Well with her. It's been able to pretty much save her life. But there's a point where you get so bad, so bad, that the state can intervene and section you and put you in an institution. And my mom is steps away from that. And I've recently had to deal with that. And, you know, the police get involved and the government, and it's horrible. It's horrible. And people who haven't seen what that is, that is a million bajillion miles away from going, oh, I'm having a bad day.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker B: Yeah. And I think by the conversation about mental health, which is very important.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: And I've actually, even my own personal ways, have done some advocacy and spoken to friends of mine who've have issues with their children who are suffering from mental health issues or in some cases, mental illness. And they've agreed with me that we need to have more conversation about how serious this is, but that it's not all the same thing. No. And that we've, in a way, by. It's not the fact that we've talked about it so much. It's the fact that we don't talk about the differences totally, that we've trivialized a part of mental health to the point that somebody who just thinks, oh, opens the window, oh, it's raining today, can't be asked, goes back to bed, and they call that a mental health day. And, you know, people can come and say, oh, you ******* Gen X. So you've got that. But, I mean, it's true.

Speaker A: Yeah, well, there's also the other thing where it's like, we're looking at a lot of these things as weaknesses when a lot of these things, like, a lot of our differences, and especially, like, when you get through a dark period in your life, that actually makes you stronger as a person, 100%. And so it's like, I think a lot of us who have lived a bit of life, and obviously, I haven't lived as much life as you, Brittany hasn't lived as much life as me. There's just things that we've gone through that make us a better person in society or just more understanding, and just these differences and these problems actually make us stronger in the way of, you know, how to get through these things instead of just stay dark 100%.

Speaker B: I'd sort of add something to also what I said before. And what I mean is that people who are looking out the window going, oh, I can't be bothered to go to work and saying they want a mental health date. They are not helping the people. Millions and millions of people who really need some ******* help and don't know where to go. Even in countries like Canada and Britain, where it's very, or France or western Europe, where it's much easier to get to that because it's provided by the state. They are alone and they're frightened, and they're frightened of themselves, they're frightened of their thoughts, and it's very difficult to reach out to people. And I think another thing, if I think of my life where I've had some real instances of real darkness, and while you're going through the darkness, people like, oh, you know, can you help? And you're like, well, what are you gonna do? How are you going to resolve the situation which is caused by, you know, something, some tragedy that's happened to me? How, how are you gonna help me? And I, I think that's another thing we don't understand, and that when you get through it, I've certainly found then you can talk about it, but when you're in it, it's very, very difficult. You are literally, like, knee deep or up to your neck in mud. Yeah. And you can't talk to anyone because how's it going to help? It's not gonna stop anything. But I'm empathizing with people. That's what I'm trying to. I've lived that. I understand that. But what we need to try and have a conversation is that while you are neck deep in the mud is where do you go for help? Who can you reach out to? How can you get some support from somebody who is not going to judge you? Because the problem is if you talk to your family generally or your friend, they will judge you. They can be the nicest people in the world. But we all have pretty conceived ideas about a person, and especially if we know them, we've kind of put them in a little box and we're going to make a judgment. And you need to go and talk to somebody, and I will. I've told you, I've told many people when I have, at various points in my life, sought help, and it was incredibly beneficial. It didn't help me resolve the problem, but it helped me see through the problem. It helped me step back and go, okay, I can do this. Yeah, I can get through this. I can get through this minefield of absolute ****. And that's what the help was there for, was to go to somebody who didn't judge me, who didn't have any idea of really who I was, just saw the thing I was telling them. Right. But again, I would like to say, and Brittany mentioned this in the interview, even in a country like Canada, that you have to often go and pay for that. And it is hugely costly. It's so expensive. And, you know, it's just a never ending thing. And so from that point of view, that's what I say with, for those millions, thousands of people who are suffering, who don't know, what do I do? How do I stop this? How do I move on? It's incredibly difficult. But if you can find, at the very least, some kind of inspiring people to say, okay, they have seen darkness and they've been able to come through it. And maybe, and I'm not entirely sure how many resources, but there are resources, you know, out there. And maybe Britney has some on her page.

Speaker A: Yeah, well, there's a number that if you do live in Canada, you can call 988, I believe that's what she says, 988. And you can talk to someone. There's also the kids help phone if you're underage for the youth. But, yeah, I think there are resources. I don't think they're hard to find, but I think they're as, when we talk about this on the interview, it's just like, they're hard to, if you're trying to go in person, it's hard to get a hold of. It's expensive. And there's also wait lists. So trying to find a friend you trust who you don't think will judge you, trying to find a teacher or a mentor or something like that, who, you know, you know, it's not gonna, you know, be, like, in quotes, like, not a big deal to them. Like, you know, just like I. Them wanting to help you, them wanting to be with you, that, like, for that. For you. For that. So trying to find that person in your life, it's just one person. Like, that's all you need, 100%, even.

Speaker B: A relative who perhaps is not like a mother or father, that you have a kind of an easier relationship, that you can say things. Because I think, like, she, you know, you're talking about the phone number. That's part of the problem. People can't even pick up the phone, even though.

Speaker C: Oh, exactly.

Speaker B: To get the words out of your mouth, to get from your brain to your mouth to express what's going on is an enormous challenge because the other thing that I don't think people understand, that if you say it, it's real. And if you don't say it and you keep it in your head and it drives, goes around and around and around, somehow maybe it's not as real, it's not as bad. It's a bit like anything in life. You have relationship troubles, money troubles, whatever. If you don't say it somehow, it's not real. The minute you say it and you discuss it, you're like, ****, I've got to deal with it and it's real. And that's incredibly difficult. But I think both you and I are saying we come from a place of real empathy, real understanding. I personally believe the conversation is very important. I just wish we'd shift the narrative a bit and be a little bit more kind of inclusive. Would explain a little bit, like, what does this mean, mental health, and talk about the different levels. And I think that would help people. And also, like I said, I see a lot of young kids, a lot of teenagers, and there's an enormous amount of teenagers struggling and, you know, and taking all kinds of medications, which scares the **** out of me, quite frankly. I find it really terrifying the amount of teenagers and sort of tweens taking medication for, you know, anxiety, adhd, depression, stress, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker A: And even like, not just those medications, but also like weed and stuff like that, like, way too early. Like, it's just like, it's just the fact that of you being just. What is it? Like, pre. You're like, yeah, what is that? What am I trying to say?

Speaker B: Well, you mean before your brain, like, fully formed?

Speaker A: Exactly like your pre.

Speaker B: Yeah, there is a word, but I can't think.

Speaker A: But yeah.

Speaker B: So, like, you all know what we.

Speaker A: You all know what we ******* mean. So, like, yeah, you're just like, you're holding on to this thing to kind of, you know, make you fall asleep.

Speaker B: Like, dampen your feelings.

Speaker A: Yes, exactly like, it's like, well, no, you need to know how to regulate your own emotions. That's also what I'm trying to say. It's like, regulate your own emotions. Try to fall asleep on your own. If you are taking all these pills, if you're doing all these, even if they're in quotes, natural medication, it's not. You still have to let your brain develop and agree, try to find your own way through things. And, yeah, medication is scary. That's why I don't even take birth control. We've already talked about that.

Speaker B: It's terrifying. It's absolutely terrifying at such a young age. But on the other hand, you see parents, and they just don't know what. They just don't know. What do you do? You just know what to do. And I think because it's so available. It's so available. I think there's so much talk. There's obviously the element of social media of, what do they call it? Suicide? Alliteration? Ideation. Ideation, what's the word? Is, like thoughts of it. And we talk about it. And I think a lot of parents are absolutely terrified. Oh, my God. Like, you just don't know where this is going or what information that you can find. And that is something that obviously in my generation, you weren't finding. You couldn't go online and find some crazy website about something completely nuts. And, you know, whatever you're feeling, whatever you're going through in a positive way. Yes. You can find a community online. The big problem is that whatever you're going through, you can find a negative community online. You can find any number of just complete and I utter ******** who want to scam you. And, you know, so that's the problem. Yeah. You know, and be very, very, very careful of that.

Speaker A: All right. Should we start the pod then?

Speaker B: Yeah, should we listen to the ******* interview?

Speaker A: Well, thank you so much again for Britney to come onto our pod and talk about it. I know it's not easy to talk about her own mental health struggles and issues. And so, yeah, we hope you enjoy the interview. We'd also love for you guys to, you know, if you guys have an opinion or you have your own story, if you want to share that with us at sharemytruthpod on the socials or go to sharemytruth.com and you can send us a little email or voicemail there. Love you.

Speaker C: Hello, Britney.

Speaker A: Thank you so much for joining us at sharemytruthpod. I know our listeners are very excited to hear what you have to say, and we're just so happy that you are, you know, spend the time to come on our pod today. Thank you.

Speaker C: Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to speak our truths today.

Speaker A: I love that. I just want to start the podcast just with you, just giving our audience just a brief rundown of who you are and where they can find more information on you.

Speaker C: Yeah, I'm Brittany, and a little bit about me is I'm a mental health advocate, but I'd like to really break it down to why a mental health advocate and who I am as a person. So I can share, you know, a significant moment in my life that made me who I am. I struggled as a teenager with depression and anxiety at 15 years old, and all the struggles that I've gone through as a teenager led me to where I am today. I wrote a book when I was 15 years old called Unmut, your average teen, and fast forward to over ten years later. I am advocating and trying to fight for mental health because so many lives are being affected by mental health. And, you know, our generation today is going through so many struggles. I believe mental health is something that's so important to me, and I'm really excited, you know, to talk more about that and talk about, you know, more about my journey. But really all started with me going.

Speaker A: Through my struggles and overcoming those that's so empowering. I think I was actually just talking about it with another friend of mine today. And it is really crazy to think about everyone is having mental health issues. And I don't want to say, oh, this is a new thing. Oh, this is just coming about. Maybe it's just we're actually bringing awareness to it now. But why do you think it is that everyone in quotations is having mental health problems or challenges these days? Is it social media? What is it?

Speaker C: I think, for one, we've all gone through so much. Like, we can't deny the fact that we went through a pandemic. We went through, what, like four years of staying inside or three years of a struggle that we all went through. But really, we all go through mental health. And, you know, there's a stat that says one in four people have a mental health struggle. That is a lot of people. Like, if you are, if you add two more people to your room right now, one of you is going to go through something very severe. And so, you know, this mental health crisis is really doubling. But I think the problem, to answer your question, is that no one got the help that they needed. Like, mental health was something that we never spoke about when I was little or when I was a teenager, only recently, we're talking about it. But I believe that's really a big reason why people are struggling is because we never got the awareness or the education or even the resources to talk about mental health back in the day. And so now we're all facing struggles, big or small, we're all going through something.

Speaker B: And what is the thing? Can I ask you, are you Gen Z? You're in your sort of mid twenties? Yeah. So what is the thing that helped you navigate, obviously, a big struggle, like, what's brought you to the place you are today? What's the thing?

Speaker C: For one, for me, I was in a place where I was in so much darkness and so much anxiety, and I was in a place where I didn't want to live anymore. To be totally truthful with you, I was 15 years old, and I was having these suicidal thoughts, like, even almost attempted my life. And in that moment, I didn't see any light, I didn't see any joy. But then for me, it was that moment of darkness where I realized, you know, I need to live for something, and I needed to change my life around. And I became obsessed with the idea of changing my life around. So I started to read self help books. I went to the bookstore with my grandfather and bought whole stacks of books and started becoming obsessed with the idea of happiness. But for so many others, we can't rely on the fact of, oh, maybe they will find hope, or maybe they will think last minute, oh, I don't want to do this, because we can't obviously think like that. Not everyone's going to have a glimpse of hope or see the light like I did. So for me, it was more like in those dark moments or dark thoughts, I was thinking, you know, I can't do this. I have so much more to look forward to. But getting the help, you know, asking the help was something that was really big. I reached out to a local therapist and then a local life coach, and then I did all these things at 15 on my own without my parents even knowing. But that's not normal. That's not okay. Like, you could. You should go to your parents. You should speak up and talk about the mental health struggles you're going through. Like, you shouldn't have to go through it alone. And so, yeah, I got help, and, yeah, I'm here today and doing things, but it wasn't the normal way of doing it. And if I were to go back, I would have said no. I should have gone to talk to my parents and said, hey, I'm having these thoughts. Taking me to a therapist who helped.

Speaker B: Was it shame stopping you from going to your parent? What was stopping is, if you don't mind me asking, was it the lack of openness with your parents, or is it something in you that you were just like, I don't want to admit this. If I go to them, then I'm admitting there's an issue.

Speaker C: Yeah, it was more. It was more shame because at the time, over ten years ago, when I was 15, there was no awareness. There was no, hey, mental health is okay to talk about it. So. For sure, I was, you know, nervous about talking about it to my parents because. Worried they were gonna judge me. I'm worried that if people found out, they would start, like, calling me names. Oh, she's weird. Or she's this. So definitely with shame. But I believe ten years later, we are. We are evolving, and there is no shame in that.

Speaker B: 100%. Yeah. I mean, it certainly come on a very long way, and certainly from when I was 15, a million years ago, it's. There was no. There was nothing. There was no discussion. I mean, there was no even. It didn't even enter anybody's thought process that this. This is. This is serious. Everyone has to figure out how to manage their mind, and it's very difficult.

Speaker C: Very difficult.

Speaker B: Extremely difficult thing to do. Yeah.

Speaker A: So how are you still. I know you said you. You read all these incredible books that really changed your life. Was there one book that you. And then obviously, you wrote a book, but was there one book that you read or two or three books that really kind of turn it around for you?

Speaker C: Yeah, there's this one book called how to heal your life by Louise Hay. She talked about how you can change your life by doing certain things, like positive thinking and energy and, you know, the thoughts that you think can become certain things in your life. And so I loved reading that book because it was like, this. This big idea for me is, like, how can I change my life, being that I'm still in high school all the time and dealing with high school problems, obviously. And that book was really motivating for me to realize that, hey, I can change my life. And it's about little steps and little, you know, little actions in your life that can really change it for you.

Speaker B: Like, manifesting positive energy. Positive thoughts.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker B: Yeah. I think that there's a lot of truth to that.

Speaker A: Yeah. I find it so hard. Like, I mean, I'm definitely not in high school. I freaking wish. But I do find my day to day, like, obviously, like, working. Like, working now, like, just my everyday company. Like, you know, you have to find the reason why you're doing everything day to day. And it's like you start. You start getting into these negative thoughts, and I think a lot of people get chart. Start just getting into these negative thoughts because they're rounding out of people or not even that, but they're just, like. They're dealing with stuff that they don't know how to and they're afraid and there's, like, all these things going on and they feel like they're losing control a bit. And I feel like I have that feeling a lot because I sometimes I have the tendency to put too much on my plate and I don't know how to take stuff off because I don't know how to say no. And that's another problem. Yeah, there's just. There's these things, and I'll catch myself having these horrible negative thoughts about myself or just about my situation. And I'm like, I literally have to go back and think about, oh, my God, Suzy, you should be so. Not should be, but I am so grateful. I can't believe this is my life. If I was looking at my life ten years ago now, I would be like, holy ****, you are amazing. I'm sure that's what you think about yourself. Do you catch yourself going back into that area of, like, darkness and, like, what do you do to kind of get yourself out of that?

Speaker C: So, obviously, I'm human. I'm 26 years old. I'm going to struggle. I'm going to go through darkness. We all do. We go through heartbreak, we go through stress in my career, of course, we all struggle. But what I call it, darkness. No, because I know I am so grateful for the life I have and for the things I get to do and the people I get to meet and, you know, the life I created for myself. So I don't go into darkness. But, yes, of course I'm human. I'm a woman. I get my period sometimes and I'm a fan. And I'm sorry for swearing.

Speaker B: No, please. Get it out. Get it out.

Speaker C: I have moments of, you know, moments of bad days, good days. Like any human out there, any Gen Z, any young adult out there is gonna have a moment of low moment. But I wouldn't call it darkness. I would just call it being human, for one.

Speaker B: Yeah. I have a question for you that. What do you think? Like, we live in Canada, you're in Canada. A lot of our audience is actually in the US and other places like the UK and also Canada. But, you know, you're in Canada, we're in Canada. And I would say Canada is a very, very progressive country and takes, compared to other countries, takes mental health very seriously and certainly has evolved a huge amount. And a lot of other countries do not take it seriously. But what do you. I know that you live at this personally and also professionally, and I know you've done a lot of speaking and so on. With some very influential people. So what do you think about the state of where we are in this conversation about national mental health in this country? What do you think about that? What are your thoughts?

Speaker C: I think, for one, what you said there is powerful. I'm grateful to live in a country I really am, to live in a country where they really. They really take mental health seriously. There's other countries out there, like you said, that don't, or they don't do what our country does. I mean, Canada, we're a country that's evolving. And as Canadians, our superpower, I believe, is stepping up and helping people. And so, you know, Canada has departments for mental health now, both provincial and government, federal. I believe they're really taking mental health really seriously. But, of course, as any country or anything, we can do better. But I'm really grateful to be in a country where mental health is something that is accessible and is reachable. And for Canadians who are struggling, I mean, there is help. You know, there's now a hotline that we didn't have back then. It's called 988, and any Canadian going through mental health struggles can just call that hotline. And there's help available. And I know other countries don't have that. So I feel horrible for other people out there who don't have help that I wish they did. But I think I'm really grateful to be living in a country that takes. It takes mental health seriously. Of course, like anything, there is times where we need to evolve and do better and. Or create more opportunities and more resources. But for. For the first start, I think it's. It's really, really great, and they're doing really great stuff.

Speaker B: Okay.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: I mean, it's so interesting. Like, I feel like. And I want to go back to something you said at the very beginning of just like, you know, like, we didn't have all these, like. And we, like, in quotations, like, we didn't have these mental health struggles, like, earlier, obviously. Like, in previous years, obviously, we've always had mental health struggles. There's no names for it or just the research wasn't being done. And I think that brings it to where we're also having a lot of this generational trauma seeping through. And it's like, that's a real medical thing where it's like, you have generational trauma, which actually goes into not only your mental health issues, but also your physical health issues because you're carrying this weight of stress. Right. So, like, obviously, in Canada, we have these problems with a lot of, you know, native communities, like indigenous communities and everything like that. And also, you know, obviously grateful in Canada that we have these. The 988. Is that what you said?

Speaker C: 988?

Speaker A: I mean, I remember when there was like, like a kid's help phone line. I never called it, but, like, I probably should have, but, like, you know, I mean, I just can't even think what we would do without kind of these mental health things right now. And is there something that you think there could be done better? Like, what would you think? Because you're actually in this space, right? So it's like, what could there be done better within Canada or even just like, to help as a global. With the global issue?

Speaker C: Well, I think so. With Canada, if we break it down like this, you know, we have covered healthcare, universal healthcare, and so the treatments like therapy and everything is covered, of course, and it's free and people can go and get help if they need it. But the problem is, is that really intense therapy, like treatments and treatment centers and people. People who are having suicide attempts need to go to these centers to get the proper help they need to be on suicide watch is actually six months to over a year wait list. It's really bad, the wait list. And so by then help maybe too late. And so for that, it's not okay. And so then people are relying on private health care, a private mental health services, like therapy and counseling, which could be like a very expensive.

Speaker A: Yeah, that's why I'm not in therapy. It's like. It's ridiculous.

Speaker B: But then you can go to, like.

Speaker C: A hospital or like a government funded a place where there is therapy, but the waitlist may be really long or you may not get the best treatments, you know? So, like, for me, I went to private, a private therapist because I needed help soon, sooner than later. And that's really expensive. If you don't have your family that can provide for you or you're a Gen Z and you don't have the money because you're figuring out your life, then what are you going to do, right? So, yeah, I think, for one, Canada has to create more opportunities where, you know, maybe it's more hospitals for mental health or whatever it is, but. But more opportunities. So the wait list isn't so long. More doctors, more therapists, so that these places where it's covered and Canadians can go and get the help they need for free can be accessible for these Canadians. And I think on a global scale, I think every country is responsible for mental health. It's really sad, but every 40 seconds. The stat says that one person actually commits suicide every 40 seconds worldwide. And so over a course of a year, it's about over 800,000 people worldwide have committed suicides, a lot of people. And so every country is responsible for mental health. And so I think if anyone's listening to this and you're part of a government or you're part of some way, you know, you're responsible for the mental health crisis. So I think everyone worldwide needs to be talking about it and figure a way to help this and create a solution for it on a global scale. Not just Canada, not just the United States, but every country, because everyone's struggling. And, you know, the world Health Organization have created, put out the stat of every 40 seconds. You know, someone commits suicide. And it's really hard. It's really sad to even think about it. It's been 40 seconds probably already, and someone in the world has committed, you know, suicide. And it's something that needs to be addressed, I believe. And people need to do better. You know, countries need to do better.

Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I have a question for you, and it's sort of part of the question for me comes from a personal place. So I think that the conversation about mental health is very important. I didn't grow up in a time when anybody talked about it, but I think my one criticism about it seems quite endless conversation about mental health, there's a lot of it all the time, is that I think for me, I am the daughter of somebody, my mother is bipolar, so I live with somebody with mental, serious, extremely chronic mental illness that has effectively destroyed her life. And the people had a huge impact, as mental illness does on the people around her. So I experience this as a child, as an adult. What I'm saying is that I feel when I listen to the conversation and narrative, as important as it is to talk about mental health and getting young people, particularly, to understand that managing your mind is a lifelong commitment. But there does need to be a discussion, I think, and that's why I said, I prefaced the question by saying it's personal for me. There needs to be more of a distinction, more of an understanding between mental health, which is part of everybody's life. Every day you're going to have ups and downs, you're going to be stressed. Some people deal with stress better, some people are more depressive than others, and so on. And there are different levels, as, of course, you know, and mental illness, which is something that has to be treated with medication, with care, which may never go away, and they are completely different things. And I do feel a little bit, as I said, again, this is personal before anybody comes for me is that they get conflated. And I don't think that helps people. Like you're talking about, you know, you were in a dark place and suicidal, you know, thoughts and so on. That's very different from somebody being stressed. And I feel a mental illness and I feel that some people maybe don't take it seriously enough or there's not even an understanding of distinction. This is a really important issue and we need to understand what it means to be ill for your mind to be ill and to be suffering mental health issues like you did. And then everyday mental health management, I don't know what your thoughts about that are. And again, that's very personal to me.

Speaker C: That makes sense. And you have someone in your life that is affected by mental illness, so it makes total sense. I think, of course, there's a difference of people being like, oh, my God, I can't go to work today because I'm like, having a mental health day, or you need to manage your stress and they're just too much. And of course there's a difference of mental illness. Someone that, you know, is diagnosed with bipolar, schizophrenic, anxiety, depression. But then another thing is like, you know, sometimes if someone is really stressed in their life, you know, is it, are they stressed because they're, they're going through a mental health breakdown, or are they stressed to the point where something could happen or, you know, they're so stressed, you know, they can't pay their bills. And let's say, for example, Tom can't pay his bills and he's working five jobs to figure things out and he's really stressed. And then that's the part where you should worry, okay, is Tom getting the mental health, the mental health treatment or the mental health understanding of what to do? Because that situation, like, for example, this Tom guy just created, could be affected by mental illness if things keep going the way it is, because we don't know what's going on in his head or what's going on in his life. And so I think for that reason, mental health needs to be educated for everyone because we never know when someone can get it. People can get triggered and then have a mental health illness. People can, you know, have something happen in their life, lose a parent, they're going to grieve, and now they're having depression and then maybe potential bad thoughts. So I think, yes, of course there's difference with mental health management. Like, oh, my God, my boyfriend broke up with me. I'm so sad. Or like, you know, oh, my job is so stressful today. Like, that girl at my work is so annoying. I'm so stressed, I want to stay home. Or there's difference with someone that maybe not have mental illness growing up or, but they're stressed in their life and they need to know the right tools or resources and be educated so that if anything, God forbid, happens where they start escalating, then they have mental illness and they have to, you know, get the help they need.

Speaker B: Yeah, okay. Yeah. I mean, that makes sense. I think there needs to be more discussion, in all honesty, because I think your, your stories, you've pointed it out. Your stories are serious. And like I said, you know, my experience with mental illness, not my mental illness, my mother's mental illness, but there are a lot of, and this is a generational thing is there are a lot of people saying, like you said, oh, I'm having a mental health day. Well, what does that mean? I mean, like, I understand that the day can be stressful, but what is the level? Where are we measuring this? And it's not helpful in many ways.

Speaker A: I think it's just because it's easier to take it for people. I'm not saying people do this. It can be taken advantage of. Like, what I'm trying to say by people who are just like, well, I'm not feeling great. I want to go to the beach. I'm going to take a mental health.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: Which I'm actually saying. That's not. That. Like, that is important because we do need those days to make. Yes, but there is, like, there are people who are like, well, everyone cares about mental health now. Now I'm just going to have a day for myself because I'm going to pretend, and then it makes everyone else look bad. Who actually does need this kind of help.

Speaker B: That's it. The people who actually need help, you actually need the day to go and do something, are bunched in with everyone else who's like, just quite frankly, you.

Speaker A: Know, I just want the data.

Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And it's not helpful, is it? Because everyone has a stressful day, you still have to get up and go to work. I mean, but I do think the bosses today, I don't know what you think, but, like, companies today, they are much more understanding if something happens. And I do think that's also after the pandemic, like, if you have a death in the family or something awful that happens. Or whatever it is, people actually go, okay, yes, you're a human being. And I think before the pandemic or years before, it was like, well, tough. You got to come to work. You got to come to work. I do think that has progressed and that is really important. So I don't know what your thoughts are on about that.

Speaker C: I think it is really important. Like you said, like, I think the workplace, of course, and everyone around has to be involved in mental health. And I think obviously, like you said, like the pandemic happened and it was really, it was really hard on people, especially going back to work was hard. But I think that everyone needs to stay involved and educated on mental health to help people out, whether it's work or friends or family. I think it's really important to, to be educated.

Speaker B: Yeah, no, I mean, I 100% agree. I mean, I, I think it's an ongoing thing.

Speaker A: Do you think there's like one specific? I mean, I'm sure there's not one specific, but like, there's like one or three problems that, like Gen Z, because I feel like Gen Z is the one who's lifted this issue, which it is an issue up, right? Like, us millennials, we're just like, yeah, we're having a bad day. Our parents still made us go to school, to work, to all these things, to soccer practice, even though we're absolutely feeling like garbage or we are literally having a mental health crisis. They're just like, you better suck it up. And like, I know I heard that a lot when I was younger, but I think Gen Z, which is amazing, which is what you guys are doing, is actually lifting this issue where it needs to be supported. But what are the maybe biggest things that I think us millennials and Gen X and like older, you know, boomers even are even older than you, Mel, need to kind of realize to be like, okay, well, maybe Gen Z is having harder time because also like, I'm like, social media gets ******, if you don't mind my swearing. Like, it is 100% ruining my mental health. And like, I didn't even like grow up with it in quotations. Like, it wasn't something that I had when I was like a child, it was just a new thing when I was like 16, 1718 and we just started this. But you guys really actually grew up with this thing of like always comparing, always like, be on your phone and like that hasn't stopped, right? So is there something else besides social media that we should be aware of?

Speaker C: Well, for one, I grew, I believe I grew up with Facebook when I was, like, I don't know, maybe I was, like, 13. Like, I was just getting into high school, too. So, like, my childhood didn't have social media. I remember, like, as a kid, obviously, there was no phones. I remember, like, my parents had, like, the house, like, the, you know, the phones, the old fashioned phones where people.

Speaker A: Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. The rotary phones.

Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.

Speaker C: And then, obviously, there's the house phones. And then finally, my parents had cell phones. So, like, I've seen definitely the generations change a lot. Like, from, like, Facebook to, like. Or no social media to Facebook. And then, like, when I was in high school, that's when Instagram came out. Snapchat. Now TikTok, which I don't even know how to use TikTok. I'm like, not from a generation of TikTok.

Speaker B: That's okay. I can tell you. I know. Yeah.

Speaker A: Mel knows all about TikTok. That's fine.

Speaker C: Anyway, I think John Z, of course, being that we've seen many different, you know, generations or trends, we've seen a lot of things growing up.

Speaker B: We.

Speaker C: I've been. I don't know, but I don't even know that the age for Gen Z, I'm right now. But for me, personally, I've grown up with social media. I know social media and social media. So I've seen a change and evolving. And then the younger generations now, like, you know, the high school students, where I see through some talks, they're, like, next level. So I think that the generation is learning to be advocates and be a voice in the world. And the really beautiful thing about the Gen Zs and the next generations is that we're learning what kind of world do we want to live in. And so I see a lot of kids standing up for what they want, standing up for their rights, and I see a lot of, you know, young people out there posting things of things they believe in the. And so I think that's really beautiful. I see also a lot of young people involved in careers where they're making a stand, they're advocating for things. And so I think that's honestly so beautiful and incredible that the Gen Z can be so resilient and stand up for things, whereas back then, you didn't see that. And so that's a beautiful thing that's happening. But, of course, there are so many trends, and things keep evolving, and more social media apps keep happening that, like, it's hard to keep track. I feel like I'm old right now where, like, I don't even know how to use TikTok. I use social Instagram. I don't even have Facebook anymore. So it's like, you know, things are evolving and changing.

Speaker B: They are. And I think, like, I have two Gen Z kids, and that you're talking about, they're younger than you, my oldest is younger than you, but they, when they were sort of, you know, not quite tweens or before tweens was the sort of Instagram came about. And even for parents like, you know, Gen X, mostly the parents of Gen X's knowing what to do. And I knew a lot, a lot of my friends who banned who, like, you can't look at any social media and all that sort of stuff, which I personally don't agree with because I think the best thing you can do is give your kids the tools to deal with stuff they see that isn't perhaps what is the greatest, right. You need to give the people the tools to know how to deal with situations, because there's no way in the world today you're going to not come across social media and you're not going to come across something that you don't like. I mean, it's just going to happen. It's in your face all the time, but you need to know how to go, okay, that's just, that's just a load of bullshit. Just ignore it. That's whatever, and just kind of step back from it and not kind of almost be like an avatar living in it, which I think is a. Is a bit of a problem. But I do think social media is, like, it's something obviously my generation didn't have at all. It's hugely problematic. It's super stressful.

Speaker A: It's so stressful.

Speaker C: I mean, you even.

Speaker B: You look at Instagram and all these images of continuously beautiful people with beautiful lives and stressful and that you get.

Speaker C: Like, envious of them. Like, oh, my God, that's a beautiful, beautiful, like, life they're living. It's not real. It's filtered. It's. People are showing their good sides and their good life, but that's not really what's going on and on the end.

Speaker B: So it's curated. They're showing, you know, them with the hair done and in the best possible, not the crappy bits.

Speaker A: And also, like, they probably, like, don't even like their friends, you guys, like, they're probably.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker B: And the other thing about social media, and I do in the mental health thing, and I'm not at all bashing social media, but, like, I know a lot of people who are very, like, like you see on social media, you think they're actually quite lonely. And they've used social media to reach out and create a community, which I think is great. And. But on the other hand, it's. That's not really solving the problem, is it? And maybe. Yeah, but I do think there's a lot of. It's difficult. There's a lot of stress there.

Speaker C: No. Yeah.

Speaker A: And I mean, so, like, obviously, there's a lot of people on social media who are looking for friends who are so lonely. Right? Like, that's a part of the problem. We, we honestly deal with a lot of people like this. But, I mean, I think something that we would like to know from you is just, like, you know, in that time when you were struggling, when you were younger, like, is there something that if there was someone going through that same thing, they couldn't. They don't, they don't have the money for a therapist. Right. Like, they don't have the resources that they probably need. What would be the thing that you would tell them? Like, you know, maybe they can't go buy the books. Like, are they, what would be the one thing to tell them? You know, to hopefully, like, save their lives or just, like, help them to get through the dark time that they're going through?

Speaker C: I think, for one, having a positive support system around you is really important. But of course, I believe, like, I can't say I'm advocate, so I can't really give advice on what to do if someone's in a severe, severe problem in their life to save their life right now. But I think more than anything, there are resources that are around. So definitely, you know, call the. Call your local, local government, and if you're in Canada, you have a local provincial government, federal government, and you have local hospitals and centers are around. Like, camh, I would definitely go to one of those and ask for help. If you are in high school, you asked your principal, your guidance counselor, anyone that can help you. Obviously, there's always resources around you. There's always help available. So you just need to ask you to go to these places, call these places and ask for help. Kids, help. Phone is for the youth, for young people. You know, of course, for me, having a positive people around me was really helpful. Journaling and doing yoga and meditating. But I don't, I can't tell people, oh, that's going to save your life because, you know, that's a big responsibility. But I believe more than anything, if there's anyone struggling, really struggling, having, you know, suicidal thoughts to go to your local government, your local centers, your local anything, and ask for the help, because help is available and there is help.

Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, and what you're doing by advocating, as you said, you're an advocate. Talking, speaking brings it more into the narrative, and then people think, oh, actually, I can identify with you. I'm not weird. I'm not alone. There's lots of people out there that struggle. And obviously that's really important. It's really critical.

Speaker C: It's really important. I think, you know, that's why I like to do what I do is because if there's anyone out there listening to this today or may listen to this tomorrow, whatever it is, you know, just know that you're not alone. And we need to normalize this. We don't have these constant conversations about mental health, and we have to do it for the rest of our lives until people understand they're not alone.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: So, like, as someone who doesn't really have, like, let's say, like, mental health issues, I think we all have certain kind of levels of mental health issues, but maybe someone who's just less open to, you know, the fact that people do have real mental health struggles, let's say, let's say you're talking to a boomer or anyone else who's kind of finding it hard to wrap their head around this, you know, how do we get them to really try to listen? And, like, what is the thing, like, is it like, just be patient? Or is it, like, you know, do your research? Or, like, is it just, like, listen to what this person's actually trying to tell you? Like, what do we tell the people who really just don't know if they, like, in quotations, believe in this kind of stuff?

Speaker C: I think more than anything, just, you have to be open to people who don't understand it and they should be educated no matter what, because people, people's lives are at stake. And, quote, unquote, if the person doesn't believe in mental health, then, and you're not there for a person that's coming to you and saying, hey, I'm struggling, then that's that person's life on the line. And all they needed was you to just listen and to be there for them. So I think just understanding that, you know, it's all our lives, and whether you believe it or not, to be there for someone who is going through struggles, and until you go, go through the struggles yourself, maybe you won't understand what it's like, to quote unquote, struggle so much. But I think it's really important to understand and to be there for people, no matter what you believe and what you understand yourself, to be there for the person if they're coming to you and saying, hey, I'm struggling. And of course, just staying educated and learning, you know, listen to other people who've gone through struggles. Just be. Have empathy to people that are going through the struggle.

Speaker B: It's removing the judgment. I mean, the layer of judgment. And certainly the older generations, and, I mean, boomers and older than me, is they. There was a level of judgment, and you were judged. If you couldn't basically get up, get on with it, people and, you know, would say to you, get your **** together. What's wrong with you? Get on with it. Get up. What's wrong with you? And you're like, well, that really obviously isn't very helpful if I'm not feeling great. And. But I think it was just society. It was just a way, it was a coping mechanism. It was a coping mechanism for everyone and not a very good one. And things have changed. And we're talking, and certainly what you're doing, continuously talking, continuously bringing a spotlight to this, as you said, normalizing it, making people feel it's okay, I can reach out, I can talk that I won't be punished or I won't be judged. I think that's hugely important. So, you know, well, amazing that you're doing this.

Speaker C: Yeah. Thanks for saying that.

Speaker A: Yeah, because I feel like it's like, even, like, millennials, you know, we have this idea because we were, like, in that generation, just like, get your **** together. What are you doing? Like, even, like, I've had that feeling of just being like, you know, like, why don't you just, you know, can't you. Why can't you just go to work today? It's like, okay, well, no, you have to actually, you have to practice empathy, just like you have to practice everything else. And I think, like, even myself, I've had to learn that. But, yeah, it's just that practice of understanding. And we do have one last lovely question for you, and it's what we ask all of our guests who we have on the pod. And I know you did go through tough times when you were younger, so happy that you're still here with us, but we always ask, what is the one truth that you would share with your younger self if you could?

Speaker C: Yeah, one truth I'd shared my younger self. I think it's really important to tell my younger self that she's amazing, her voice matters, and to know that she's not alone. I think my younger self would really like to hear that and to know that she would do certain things in her life that she never thought she would accomplish.

Speaker B: Mm hmm. So that's really nice. That's. Yeah, I think that's great. And if even just that message could get out, that's amazing.

Speaker A: I think that is amazing. I think we have to really remind ourselves, like, to look back on our lives and be like, God, I've just come so far, and I think we don't do that enough. So I think it's really awesome. And I really appreciate you being so open about this conversation. It obviously takes a long way to come from, you know, what you've been through, and I think we still have a long way to go in our mental health in the world.

Speaker B: Understanding.

Speaker A: Understanding. Exactly. But I think you're doing so much good stuff, and we really, really appreciate it.

Speaker C: Thank you for having me on your podcast.

Speaker B: Can we also ask you before you go so that people, if people do have any questions or how they can reach you? I know you do a lot of events and speaking and stuff like that, but where can they find you, and where could they kind of connect with you or get more information about what you're doing?

Speaker C: Yeah, they can find me on instagram, social media, Brett Kristantos, Britt. And then my last name is Long Krystantos, and they can reach out to me anytime. I also have a podcast I started recently called Dear Britney. So anyone that wants to know cool things about me, they can submit questions, and, you know, I'll have an episode about that. And really, anyone listening to this right now, if you're going through struggles or you just want to talk to someone, just know that my door is open. I'm always open, you know, to chat with anyone and to be there for anyone and to know you're not alone and that your life matters and you matter and to reach out to help if you are going through anything.

Speaker B: That's wonderful. Thank you.

Speaker A: Thank you so much.

Speaker B: Really appreciate that. And we will obviously share that on all our social. Yes. So that people can reach out and learn, understand a little bit more about you. And also, if they're going through something, it will help to see somebody strong and inspiring and help pull them, hopefully, from darkness to light. So that's very. That's great.

Speaker A: Thanks, Brittany.

Speaker B: Thank you so much.

Speaker A: Wonderful to meet you.

Speaker B: Lovely to speak to you. Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at sharingmytruthpod and leave us a voicemail on our website, sharingmytruth.com, to share your stories and experiences with us. We'll see you next time. Bye.