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Episode 40  -  The Truth about Soulmates
Melany Krangle & Suzie Sheckter

Speaker A: Welcome to Sharing My Truth with Mel.

Speaker B: And Suzie, the uncensored version where we bear it all we do 1234.

Speaker A: Welcome, welcome back Sharing Richard Pod. You're listening to Sharing My Truth with Mel and Susie, the uncensored version. And we are chatting. And don't forget to give this cute little five star review if you feel like it and tell us how much you love us because we love you guys. Hey, babe.

Speaker B: Hello, darling.

Speaker A: How are you?

Speaker B: I'm fine. I'm in the land of English people.

Speaker A: My goodness, you look brighter than ever, though, with the gray skies.

Speaker B: Actually, it's very sunny here today. Is it's?

Speaker A: Very not normal.

Speaker B: We do see the sun, actually, in England. We're not like total moles, but yeah, we do see the sun.

Speaker A: Liar.

Speaker B: When we don't see the sun, we're in the pub.

Speaker A: Yeah, perfect.

Speaker B: So Max is right now, that's where my husband's gone, so I can do this, which I think is very civilized if you think about it.

Speaker A: That's very nice. I want to be at the pub right now.

Speaker B: You love the pubs in England.

Speaker A: I kind of look like I'm just got back from the pub. I'm going to be honest, I haven't washed my face yet from last night, so that's cute.

Speaker B: What is that you without? Anyway, moving on. What are we talking about, susie, one of your favorite subjects?

Speaker A: Well, we are talking about really what you and I are now oh, talk about soulmates. Soulmates?

Speaker B: Yeah, soulmates which you famously or infamously do not believe in.

Speaker A: I just don't believe in one soulmate.

Speaker B: One soulmate.

Speaker A: I believe our souls connect with other souls, but the fact that you only have one other one that you're ever going to connect with, that seems a little ******* stupid.

Speaker B: That is deep. So let me ask you so the definition I know you like my definitions of the soulmate according no, this is the Cambridge. Oh, sorry, Was that the Cambridge Dictionary said that the soulmate, the definition is someone usually your romantic or sexual partner who you have a special relationship with and who you know and love very much.

Speaker A: That sounds ******* stupid. Doesn't it sound like a soulmate?

Speaker B: I mean, it does sound a bit stupid.

Speaker A: That doesn't define a soulmate, I don't think.

Speaker B: Well, I mean, that's the other question. So is a soulmate own is it somebody you're amorously, involved with or can it be a friend? Like, I've heard people I actually heard somebody recently who is married and stuff and said that their soulmate was their brother, which kind of creeped me out.

Speaker A: What?

Speaker B: Yeah, I don't think they meant it in a weird way, but it sounded super weird and I just thought I don't think you know what that means. So can a soulmate, excluding that person who said that? But they said that and I thought that was really weird, but it did make me think, what do people think it is? Is it a friend or is it a boyfriend or a partner or a husband or a wife or whatever? Because in my definition, I think it probably is somebody you're romantically involved with. It's not a friend.

Speaker A: I think it is a friend, but.

Speaker B: You think it's a friend.

Speaker A: I think friends and lovers can all be soulmates.

Speaker B: Okay, I see where you're coming from.

Speaker A: Because why would you only what? Your souls can't connect on a crazy different level if you're not ******* sex doesn't define a soulmate.

Speaker B: Okay, I see where you're coming from now because you left this bit out before, or maybe I didn't understand you perfectly, but you're saying that you can have lots of soulmates because it's not necessarily romantic partners. It can be lots of people in your life, just not your relatives.

Speaker A: I would hope ******* not.

Speaker B: But that's the thing. If somebody said that their brother was their soulmate, did they just think soulmate is somebody you're very friendly with, you have a great connection with? Not on any kind of weird level, but just that you I always thought a soulmate is that yeah.

Speaker A: I still would never like, my brother and I are very close and I love him very much, but I would never call him my soulmate because that's ******* weird. Because also, it's like we're related. We're already connected in a very defined way.

Speaker B: Yeah, okay.

Speaker A: A soulmate is someone who you don't have a connection to at first, and then you find that person and then your souls connect and that's your soul mate. But of course you can have multiple romantic soulmate partners, of course.

Speaker B: At one time.

Speaker A: Sure, why not?

Speaker B: Wow. What are you going to do?

Speaker A: You think soulmates just like they break off and then they come back around again? I think it's like it happens.

Speaker B: All no, I just think that a soulmate is very difficult to find. And I'm not saying you can't have more soulmates than one in your lifetime, but to me anyway, you only have one at a time. And for me my definition is that is an amorous romantic, whatever relationship. It's not a friend. I have lots of friends that I love and are great and everything, including you, Susie. I wouldn't say they're my soulmates and so that's why I think you could have different soulmates in your life, but one at a time, I don't think you have lots of soulmates at the same time.

Speaker A: So you have to kind of grieve the loss of the other soulmate.

Speaker B: Yeah, my soul. I've only got one soul.

Speaker A: Yeah, but the soul is infinite. How do we know what a soul is?

Speaker B: You have many layers to you, Susie. So this is an article by and it said so this is another definition. I just thought so would be a good time to say it. So what is a soulmate? Is the title. Plus how do you know if you found yours? Yeah, so according to Dr. Tobin, who's a doctor quoted in this article, soulmate is someone who you feel deeply connected to. So maybe you're right, but not in a dependent or needy way. The guiding principle in a relationship between soulmates is that needs are equally met because a soulmate relationship should challenge you to move from selfishness to giving. So that's kind of interesting, but meeting your soulmate, there's a realization that this person who shares your life is part of yourself. That sounds intense.

Speaker A: Part of yourself. I mean, there are things that people think of it's like having a breakup with someone you were really close with, even that if that's a friend, because I've had big friend breakups before, where it's like you kind of have to grieve a friendship. And not only are you grieved, obviously, when you have a breakup with a romantic partner, grieve that relationship and being like, there's never going to be the same again. And it's also just like, we're never going to **** again. It's going to be you have to grieve your loss. But yeah, I don't know. I think you are definitely connected into these souls, but I do think it's ridiculous. How could you not have soulmates all at the same time? Because people come and go to your life. You can't handle when they come and go to your life.

Speaker B: Yeah, I agree with that. But don't you have levels of intensity? The level of intensity of a connection with a friend is very different to somebody you're having an intimate relationship with. I mean, it does bring up the point that if you're having intimate relationships with several people so we should really have had a guest on here who was polyamorous because they could have answered this question, but was in a polyamorous relationship. Are all of those people their soul mates or can one be?

Speaker A: But here's the thing. Do you think that every relationship romantically is your soulmate?

Speaker B: No, of course not.

Speaker A: Of course. Right, so it's like, even if someone's been in a polyamorous relationship, that doesn't mean that they're going to be soulmates with everyone.

Speaker B: No, that's true. But what I mean is, can they be soulmates with all of those people in the relationship at once?

Speaker A: Yeah, why not?

Speaker B: Or is one kind of more important than the other? I mean, I'm belaboring that point too much, but the point I'm saying is, yes, of course I think you can have different soulmates. And everyone who is in who you're intimately, let's call it intimately, whether that's well, that's intimately connected to is not necessarily a soulmate. Sexually? Yeah, sexually, but sexually and emotionally. Not just sexually.

Speaker A: It's like just being in a relationship with someone with multiple people and having a favorite, I don't think is weird. It's like having a favorite child. Everyone has one. You're just not going to say it to anyone.

Speaker B: I don't.

Speaker A: Oh, Mel. Exactly. You're proving my don't.

Speaker B: I honestly don't.

Speaker A: Everyone has favorite child, and that's okay.

Speaker B: Did you say everyone has a favorite child?

Speaker A: Yes. No, they don't. Of course.

Speaker B: Are you the favorite child?

Speaker A: I'm assuming I'm the favorite child. Yeah.

Speaker B: Oh, you're the favorite child. Well, there's only me, so there's no but I do not have a favorite child. I can honestly hand on my heart, even though I'm not religious, tell you from the bottom of my soul that I love each of my children equally. They're different people. So you behave and react. It's like friends. And you have a slightly different relationship because they're different people. But in terms of they're equally, I love them hugely, but equally, I don't have a favorite child. I just don't. But the thing about soulmates is I think it's so intense. I don't see how you could have lots of them at the same time, which is different.

Speaker A: I don't want to say British because I think there's obviously polyamorous people in Britain.

Speaker B: I think we've got lots, but I.

Speaker A: Don'T know, it's kind of like opening, being able to open yourself up to the possibility of multiple relationships and multiple love. Multiple love at the same time. Like just an excess of love. You now have an excess, so you don't need to okay, I know this person's boundaries is here, but then I know this person's boundary is here, and I get to enjoy all of that at the same time.

Speaker B: And why would this be a British thing, Susie? Because we can't express ourselves.

Speaker A: Exactly.

Speaker B: We're repressed is what you're trying to you know, I don't think it has anything to do with that. For me personally, I just believe and again, this is personal, totally personal. I believe that soulmate is a very intense connection. It is with, for me anyway, somebody I'm involved with romantically, intimately, whatever. And I've only ever had one soulmate, right. Who I'm currently married to so far, but I will only ever have one soulmate while I'm with him. I don't see how I could put that much energy and everything into I mean, of course, you never know what's going to happen in life. I think it's extremely unlikely. Let me tell you, Susie, I've almost never actually, probably never meet anyone that I think oh, yeah, they're know. Not that I think that I'm fabulous. I just don't. No, I really don't. I really don't. But I don't see how you can have lots of them at the same time.

Speaker A: But your best girlfriend yeah, you tell them everything. I tell them more than I tell my boyfriend, my partner. How could that person not be a part of your soul in the way that also your sexual relationship is? But they're obviously just on a different level. I'm not going to **** my best friend. I mean, I would. She's super hot, but I'm not going to do that. It's not a good idea unless she's into it. But it's a different kind of extremely intimate connection.

Speaker B: Okay. So I think this could be where our divergence occurs, is I have lots of girlfriends and that I cherish our friendship, it's really important. But I wouldn't say, well, I guess I'd be married a long time. And I would say, and you are literally going to vomit when I say this, my best friend is my husband.

Speaker A: But you're allowed to have more than one best friend.

Speaker B: Sure, but I don't know if that's an age thing. I have lots of friends.

Speaker A: That's so funny. But I would also consider my boyfriend my best friend. The amount of joy I get from him is unbelievable. But there is a different kind of fun and joy and intimacy that I also get from my closest girlfriends.

Speaker B: Okay, I totally get that, of course. And when you see I'm somebody who probably like you, has a lot of girlfriends, a lot of female friends, and I value the time with those girlfriends and I often see them like, I've been in England this week and I see girlfriends for lunch or whatever or some kind of social interaction, and I see just them. Obviously I go for dinner with their partners sometimes like I did last night. But I'm just saying I do spend a lot of time just seeing girlfriends without the husbands or boyfriends, other people there, so that your friendship is, you know, that person and you meet up and you talk about everything. And that's very important. I think it's very important for women, and I think we've discussed this before in previous episodes where women who don't have strong relationships with other women you're like, that's weird. I mean you find it weird?

Speaker A: Yeah, I find that women who don't have strong relationships with women, their relationships with men are also not great, though, you know what I mean?

Speaker B: Maybe I think it's a lot of.

Speaker A: Like trying to prove themselves maybe in kind of weird society of I don't like women because they don't like me and it's like, we don't like you because you're a *****.

Speaker B: Yeah, it could be that. The point I'm making is that I do have very close relationships, girlfriends. I've got multiple girlfriends that I've had for years since some of them for 40 something years. But it's a very different and of course it's different. It doesn't mean it's close, but I wouldn't call them my soulmate.

Speaker A: Interesting.

Speaker B: No, I really have some great friends. I saw a friend the other day who I've known since university, another friend who I've known for years and years and years. Another friend since I've known since I was four. I mean, like we're four years old.

Speaker A: That's so cute.

Speaker B: And I'm 50, so that's a **** of a long time. That's twice, twice your life. And we're very close and I have a couple of friends like that. And I've lived in different countries, so I have different friends in different places. So that's kind of maybe a little bit different to some people, but I just still wouldn't call them my soulmates. I don't think they call me their soulmate.

Speaker A: I don't know if this is a generational thing.

Speaker B: Is it a generational thing? Maybe it is. I mean, most of my friends are all married, right? Not that they're necessarily well, I actually have here's the thing.

Speaker A: If you look at couples in the couples, you know, and you're like, yes, these people are soulmates. I rarely think of that with totally couple.

Speaker B: So what do you think when you see Max and I?

Speaker A: Oh, soulmates 100% put you on the spot, obviously, darling.

Speaker B: But yeah, I agree. And I actually totally agree. And people break up. Actually, I heard of somebody had broken up the other day and she's gone off with another guy, and I was shocked. I was like, what? And it happens all the time. So question whether they were soulmates before that. Is everybody in an amorous relationship with somebody, even if they really like that person, are they necessarily soulmates? No, not necessarily. They may not be soulmates, do you know what I'm saying? And discuss, is there any point being with somebody who isn't a soulmate? I don't know. I can't answer that question. I mean, I think that's tough. I think I wouldn't want that. But that's me. That's totally personal.

Speaker A: I mean, it's the thing of I know that Jeff and I are soulmates, but I would never be like, if I lost him, I would lose everything. And I think that's kind of the pressure that you've put on a soulmate in a bit, you know what I mean? That we're like, this is the only person for me. If they're not here, who am I? I've lost. And obviously you do lose a part of yourself if you were to lose that person, but that's a lot of pressure to put on one.

Speaker B: It is a lot of pressure, but it could be, and forgive me if I am speaking out of turn, is that you're much, much younger than me. You've not been married, so you've been with him for eight, nine years, which is actually a long time, but you're not married. Not that marriage is the defining thing, but you haven't been together for 2030, 40, 50 years. Not that I have, but I'm just saying and that you don't have children, so kind of like, obviously if you've been with somebody for 2030 my in laws have been together for 50, they're going to kill me. They probably wouldn't listen to some of this, but 57 years or something like that. I mean, of course, if something happened, god forbid. No, of course. I'm saying it's different at that point than it is at your point at your age, because you're young, you're beautiful, you can go and meet a billion different people, but obviously the longer you're with somebody, the older you get. That obviously changes, and it's more about the time you've invested in each other, which you already know being with somebody for a long time, but you double, triple, quadruple that. You've invested a huge quantity of your life. I've lived more time with Max now than with that. Yeah.

Speaker A: That's so think of it like that.

Speaker B: That's crazy.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: So of course a part of you is going to be and you know, you can be the most independent, strong girl boss in the world. Did you like that?

Speaker A: I did.

Speaker B: But you invested that much time with somebody, it's huge.

Speaker A: Crazy.

Speaker B: But again, I guess it's about I'm just trying to see fact, like, the definition of what the soulmate and I suppose the answer is it's very different for everybody.

Speaker A: Yeah. I don't think you can actually define what a soulmate is, because what if someone doesn't believe in a sexual partner? Like, what if they're asexual? What happens to them?

Speaker B: Very good point.

Speaker A: What, do they not get a soulmate?

Speaker B: Well, maybe well, that's actually a very good point. I hadn't thought of it.

Speaker A: Like, obviously they were still in relationships with other I'm actually not sure how.

Speaker B: This not necessarily friendships.

Speaker A: Yeah, friendships. Whatever they want to call it. I mean, it's just how do you define that for how would they define that? I guess it'd be completely different.

Speaker B: It's a very good point. Okay. This is actually an English magazine, as you talked about us Brits being socially, emotionally repressed. This is an article from it's actually from 2020. So it says basically, how do you know whether you've met your soulmate? So ten questions to ask yourself if you think you've already met your soulmate. This is a good one. Okay. Does being around this person give you a sense of peace and comfort?

Speaker A: That's a really good one.

Speaker B: Do you feel you balance each other out even though you're very different? I think that's really good. Really good question, and I totally understand that. Three do you get a gut feeling that you've met the right one for you? Are your values in total alignment? This is like I've written this article. That's totally true. Have you seen this person at their worst but love them anyway? Yes. I think most people have been together a long time. Do you care so deeply about each other that you've actually felt each other's pain before? In other words, does them being in pain cause you pain? I think that's a good one. Do you feel a sense of electricity when you touch have you had rocky times but grown through them together and felt stronger at the end? Yes. Do you feel like you can let your guard down and be 100% yourself when you're with this person? I think that's really important because I think a lot of people spend a lot of time pretending to be something else or thinking they should be something else. And that is exhausting. I don't know how oh, my God.

Speaker A: I don't know how anyone would do that.

Speaker B: We could do it for the first couple of weeks and then that's that.

Speaker A: Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker B: I know people who still are really funny about not wearing, like wearing makeup all the time around their partner and stuff like that. And you're just like, oh my God.

Speaker A: It's also like people who were like, go to a place to find to see if they can find a person that's attractive. Let's give it an example. So it's like, let's say like a girl will go to the gym to try to find a hawkeye at the gym, but she doesn't actually work out. She's going to go and pretend to work out to find the guy at the gym. And who's going to want to work out with you now because he thinks you go to the gym and you're like, I don't want to go to the gym. I just want to **** and find my potential soulmate who's not actually going.

Speaker B: To be do people, you know what I mean? To find a soulmate, for sure.

Speaker A: You're going to go to oh my God. Yeah. I mean, why wouldn't you just go to Equinox to ******* find a hot, rich daddy?

Speaker B: The last gym I walked into recently, honestly, the smell was horrendous. I don't think you could find anything in there except for rats.

Speaker A: You are very sensitive to smell, though.

Speaker B: Yeah, we've discussed this too. So, Ten, do you feel that this person came into your life to teach you an important lesson?

Speaker A: What an important lesson? Like they're going to leave when that lesson is taught. What does that mean?

Speaker B: I don't think that's articulated in the best way, but I think that often in a long term relationship, you can actually help your partner kind of see things more clearly and they can do it for you. And that's really the way it should be, that you kind of help each other to see things that you don't necessarily see that well. And I do agree with some of these things. Like, balance is really important. I think if you have balance in your relationship I'm a big believer in Ying and Yang, the balance of the relationship of sort of fire and earth and all this sort of stuff. I think it is very important. And I do actually think that people can be quite different and be soul mates. I mean, I'm very different for my husband, very different. And he likes sport. I hate sport.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: I like shopping. He hates shopping. I mean, we like eating, which is good.

Speaker A: We love that.

Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, eating is good, but that doesn't mean you can have different interests but still love each other's company and enjoy each other's company, but also enjoy doing things separately. Like I said when you were talking about girlfriends. So you go and see your girlfriends and that's a thing you do independently and they go and hang out with their guy friends. And that doesn't mean you can't be very connected. I don't know what that means, really. By came into your life to teach you a lesson. It sounds a bit sort of kind of misogynistic, but anyway, it does sound a bit like well, I mean, I'm saying that because this is a female, this is a woman's magazine. It's called Red magazine. It's a very well known magazine in the UK that's for women, I think probably between the ages of 35, aimed 35 to 45. That's not really really young and not really old like me. It is for women. So they're aiming this at women. So I just think that's a kind of an OD thing to say, teaching.

Speaker A: Us a lesson about ourselves and about life.

Speaker B: But I do think does being around this person give you a sense of peace and comfort and balance and stuff like that? And do you have the same values? That makes a lot of sense. I guess that's why I think a soulmate is really the person that you're amorously connected to. So for me, I need another word for my friends. It's not soulmate. What we need to find another word.

Speaker A: I don't know.

Speaker B: It's another thing. It's not a soulmate because have you.

Speaker A: Seen the episode in Sex and City where the girls are like, together and they're obviously having male troubles because they always do. And Carrie's like, what if we're the soulmates and the boys are just there to have for us to have fun with? That's very connecting. That connects to me on such a deep level because I'm like, men are just there to have fun with. I don't want to take their ******* opinions seriously sometimes there's something about women friendships that are so connected on such an intense and deep level that can be way more than a male female.

Speaker B: I do know what you're talking about. That also is this you should stay connected to your girlfriends because men come and go kind of thing. And I think that is very relevant to a point in your life, and particularly when you're very much younger and men will come and go and you'll have lots of different relationships, but your friendships, quite frankly, whether they're with women or with men, are the things that will be solid. That doesn't mean that when you meet the one that those friendships are not going to be as solid, but they will definitely change. And also the older you get, and especially if you have children I know this is boring, but it's true. You have less time and you have less time for not for friendships. I've always made lots of time for friendships because I think it's really important and I am very conscious of the fact that life goes through all these stages and if you don't kind of nurture relationships, you'll get to a point where you won't have any friendships, you have to make a lot of effort. And my girlfriends there aren't that many girlfriends that I don't have in my life that I know. People come and go, but I don't have that many friendships where people I just don't talk to them anymore, kind of thing. I don't have that many situations like that. Obviously, you have stronger friendships with some people than other people, and that is very important. And I think I don't know, is it more important for women or for men? I think it's more important for women because women talk about more stuff. We've said this before when men go out, like, my husband right now is at the pub, he's going to be having some drinks. He's going to talk about football, because that's what you do in England. You talk about the soccer, the football here, and he could have a very intense conversation with somebody about football, but.

Speaker A: That'S what men need.

Speaker B: Yeah, but he could spend a couple of hours whether it's with the guy he's just met in the pub, because that's what you do in England. You can go into the pub on your own. It's not weird. And you just have a conversation with somebody. That's kind of what the pub is for. You don't necessarily go with friends, and you could have a conversation with the person you've just met or with a friend, and they've been there for hours. And then he'll come home and you'll say, oh, so how's your wife? Or how's so? And so he's like, I don't know. I didn't ask. He's had friends, in fact, as a point, the other day, he's had this friend that we saw here, but he's known we saw him the other day. Max has known him since he was 19 or 18. I said, oh, how did he meet his wife? He's like, I don't know. Like what? You don't know how he met his wife?

Speaker A: Yeah, men don't know. But male friendships are so important for yes. Yeah. Even if they don't talk.

Speaker B: Yeah, but that's about anything of any value. However, I would say, like in my husband's case, his friends, probably the same with Jeff are so important to him, and he sees them, but they don't talk about anything, really.

Speaker A: The they don't really talk.

Speaker B: No, but on the flip side, if they were going through some **** in their life or they needed something or they needed some support, they'd all support each other.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: They'd all be there. But they don't talk about the fact that they'd be there. Where there's women, you talk about it.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: So I guess that's the difference. The other thing I think, is men don't make a lot of effort with their friends as the older they get, the worse it gets. They kind of meet up, and there tends to be a guy in the group of guys who's really good at organizing, and everyone goes, yeah, okay. Just let you do it? Because I can't be asked. Women are a little bit different. They're a bit more organized. And I just think it's so *******.

Speaker A: Hard to get women together unless it's a one on one thing.

Speaker B: Yeah, because everyone's schedules. You get very busy and then you're with people. Yeah, that's very true. That's very true.

Speaker A: Okay. Can I talk to you about the science of soulmates?

Speaker B: I'd like you to do that, Susie. Okay.

Speaker A: Because this is from a website called, so it has to be legit. Okay.

Speaker B: Okay. Yeah. Obviously.

Speaker A: 73% of Americans believe in soulmates.

Speaker B: 73 seems very low, doesn't it?

Speaker A: I don't know. That seems pretty legit, I think.

Speaker B: Legit.

Speaker A: Legit. More men than women believe that they are destined to find their one.

Speaker B: Interesting. More men than women.

Speaker A: More men than women. Males, 74%. Females, 71. Because women have been hurt more, I think.

Speaker B: Yes, absolutely.

Speaker A: You know, they're like, **** this, 100%.

Speaker B: And also we did this in a previous episode where we had a statistic about love, and that was it. That more men fall in love at first sight more easily or something like that.

Speaker A: Definitely.

Speaker B: Isn't that interesting?

Speaker A: Yeah. 79% of younger people than 45 younger than 45 believe in soul mates, while 69% of those over 45 do. So younger people apparently believe in soulmates. But I don't believe that, to be honest.

Speaker B: Yeah, but maybe that would be the case because if you're older, you're more likely to have been hurt.

Speaker A: That's true.

Speaker B: And to have had some terrible situation, and you literally lose you lose the belief. I mean, what do you do if you don't find your soulmate?

Speaker A: Well, that's the pressure of this. That is the pressure of this absolute garbage whole thing of soulmates. It's like, now my friends can't be soulmates. If we're talking about one person, my friends can't be soulmates. And so it's just a man that I have to wait for. Somehow he's coming to get me, to save me, to teach me something like, ****.

Speaker B: That's so ridiculous. I think that is ridiculous. I think that's, quite frankly, a load of bollocks. But I think that that's the point. Your point of the fact that you're investing, you're saying, oh, my God, this person's going to come like the Messiah and be my thing, and I'm going to raise, and you're going to be amazing. Do you like that? Yeah, but is a huge amount of pressure. But that's not what I'm talking about. To me, the soulmate is you kind of both come together, balance each other out, like Ying and yang, and create this almost you're kind of both equally on your own. Awesome. And you come together and you're super awesome.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: Not that one of you is ****** and one of you is not, and you need this person to come along and make you a full person. That is completely ridiculous. And if you live your life like that, you will be absolutely miserabler. You will be miserable. You cannot expect somebody to come along, whether you are a woman or a man, and complete you. There's a famous movie that said that.

Speaker A: That's what a soulmate pretty much is, if you want to believe in it that way.

Speaker B: That's not what I think.

Speaker A: But who are you without Max? Are you Melanie?

Speaker B: No.

Speaker A: There's someone who has this kind of deep hold on you, which is fine. I'm not saying it's a bad thing at all. It's just like there is that part of you that has I don't know. There is that pressure, because if Max were to obviously this is never going to happen, ever. But if you guys were to break up, because you guys are perfect, you're never going to break up. But if you guys were to break up, obviously, are you ever going to find another one?

Speaker B: And that's so you might not. I mean, there are lots of people who have in a couple who've been married for a long time, and then one partner passes or leaves them or whatever, and then they never find another soulmate again. And that is a huge amount of pressure. But I think that is the reality that they then don't find that connection again and they have to find a way of living without that connection, which is hard. I understand what you're saying. I get it. And I actually sort of think we're just talking slightly at ODS, like we sort of think the same thing. We're just looking at it from a different point of view. And I definitely feel I am my own person and Max is his own person. But we come together and our relationship has definitely enhanced our life.

Speaker A: Yeah, of course.

Speaker B: But it's not otherwise, as far as I'm concerned, there wouldn't be much point. Yes, but yeah, he's still my soulmate. That's it. Just the one.

Speaker A: The one for now. Could be another one coming, darling.

Speaker B: There could be another one.

Speaker A: You don't know this.

Speaker B: I haven't got time for another soulmate.

Speaker A: I know. It's exhausting. It is. I understand.

Speaker B: How am I going to do that? There's only 24 hours in a day, 365. I haven't got time for all these soulmates, Susie, for good.

Speaker A: But maybe in your retired years, you never know.

Speaker B: I'll have extra soulmates.

Speaker A: Yes, because you have time, if that's the problem.

Speaker B: But I don't want other soulmates. I want friends. I just don't want all these other soulmates.

Speaker A: You don't know what you wanted until you got it.

Speaker B: That's true. That's true. But that's pretty complicated, isn't it?

Speaker A: Soulmates are complicated. Soulmates are not a one size fits all.

Speaker B: Well, possibly slightly. So this just I'll go through this quickly because this is, again, Reestablishing, what is a soulmate? A soulmate, simply put, is defined as a person ideally suited to another, as a close friend or romantic partner. See you are. There you go. See, you're getting that I'm feeling pretty good about it. And literally that's basically the Ox dictionary definition. You can think of soulmates as people cut from the same energetic cloth as you. Do you agree with that?

Speaker A: Maybe.

Speaker B: So this is psychotherapist called Babita spinelli beautiful explained that a soulmate is about a love connection but also about a connection with someone who accepts you and knows you. So you would agree with that?

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: So then you could have multiple and it's often used to describe the word soulmate is used to describe a strong connection with two people that can be romantic partners, she adds, but that's not always the case. It doesn't say whether it has to be like a friend. Like I told you the weird thing in the beginning that this woman had said who her soulmate was her brother.

Speaker A: Yeah, but I think that person's just weird.

Speaker B: And then here this other psychotherapist says that she does not believe, she not only believes that soulmates are real, but further that you can have more than one. Oh my God, she's your friend. That's it. She explains, soulmates are anyone who have a deep energetic connection with you. That's what you're saying. You may have instantly recognized that this person seemed familiar in some way to you and even if you don't stay in each other's lives forever, which is entirely possible, the relationship is still enriching because of the power of the connection you shared.

Speaker A: That's it. That's beautiful.

Speaker B: Wow, that's lovely. I believe in connection and stuff. I just think soulmates is such a deep level but that's it.

Speaker A: You're not only going to have this deep level with someone. Like there's levels.

Speaker B: Of soulmate, there's levels of the category A because you're not.

Speaker A: Going to have that same relationship with anyone, you're going to have different deep connections with otherwise mel, did I convince you at all today?

Speaker B: None. No. However, like everything I accept, I understand, I hear you, I get it. Just maybe for me personally see it differently, but I do get it.

Speaker A: Well, I want to hear if anyone else gets it or if anyone else wants to share their soulmate story with us. I would love to hear. We would love to hear from you. You can always go to and leave a voicemail there. Or you can also give us a DM on your soulmate story or soulmate not story. Or maybe you just think girlfriends are soulmates. Because that's what I believe.

Speaker B: Yeah. And do you agree with me or do you agree with Susie?

Speaker A: You're in the in between.

Speaker B: Absolutely. Or maybe you're in between. Or maybe you're a combo of the both of us.

Speaker A: That's lovely.

Speaker B: Well, isn't it?

Speaker A: I think that's a lovely way to end off love.

Speaker B: I think it is. We've discussed this. We know each other's stance on this. One day I may convince you and you may convince me otherwise.

Speaker A: Doubt it.

Speaker B: Doubt it. To be honest. Doubt it. Very much.

Speaker A: All right, everyone, we'll talk to you soon, please. We can't wait to hear from you, though. Tell us your stories, we'd love to hear you share.

Speaker B: Bye. See you next time. Thanks for listening.

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Speaker B: Get it?

Speaker C: Now go to the link in our bio, put in the code and get jiggy with it.

Speaker B: Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at sharingmytruthpod and leave us a voicemail on our to share your stories and experiences with us. We'll see you next time.

Speaker A: Bye bye. Three, two, one. Yeah, don't get on.

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