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Episode 15 - Help! I’m Married With Children, But I Think I Am In Love With A Woman
Hosted by Mel & Suzie

Melany Krangle & Suzie Sheckter

Speaker A: Welcome to Sharing My Truth with Mel and Suzie, the uncensored version where we bear it all.

Speaker B: We do 1234. Um.

Speaker A: Hey, babes, how are ya?

Speaker B: Hello, darling. Well, that's a good question.

Speaker A: Oh, yeah, you're not good.

Speaker B: I'm physically no, physically no, that's the other way around. I'm mentally fine and I feel like I'm in a good mood and everything, but physically I feel slightly crummy. I feel very bloated. I feel as if I'm actually carrying triplets. I really hope and I know definitely I'm not carrying.

Speaker A: Well, you don't look like you're carrying triplets.

Speaker B: I'll just tell you that. It's a bonus. Wow.

Speaker A: Well, what happened? What's going on? Is it the period?

Speaker B: Well, it's a bit I'm in that whole I'm in this very weird phase because I'm 50, so I'm not technically in the menopause. You have to have twelve months of no period to be in not having a period to be in the menopause. But before that, if you are on contraception, oral contraception or whatever contraception that.

Speaker A: You'Re putting in, you hormonal one.

Speaker B: Exactly. Yeah. You have to come off it right around the sort of 50 mark, depending on the I don't know, all the sort of statistics, depending on the levels of whatever. And I was using the Nova ring.

Speaker A: Which this ring that you I've been on that for like three months or so.

Speaker B: Yeah. Which has been amazing for me for years and years. But I've have to come off it because it can create a period. So you think you're having a period, but you don't know whether it's a real period or it's because you're hormones. Yeah, exactly. So I've had to come off it also, I guess it's not good for you, all the whatever, estrogen or whatever. So I've had to come off it. And this is the first time I'm 50. I started taking the pill, or let's say hormonal contraception, I guess that's the correct term, when I was 16 or 17.

Speaker A: Crazy. Long time to be on it.

Speaker B: Oh my gosh. So they've controlled my hormones all the time. And I have crazy hormones other than obviously when I was having trying to have a baby or having a baby, obviously. And then there were others other **** going on, but so it's kind of a weird time physically, and it's a little bit full of anxiety because you're like, oh my gosh, what's my body going to do? I'm very hormonal.

Speaker A: But you're not hormonal, are you?

Speaker B: As a person?

Speaker A: Well, no.

Speaker B: Right now what's a good point. I don't know, but something's going oh, that's a good point. I don't know.

Speaker A: You seem great. You seem happy and lively.

Speaker B: I'm fine. Interestingly. I've come off it and I don't feel low or anything. Yeah. Because, you know well, I would certainly get the sort of lows when I have my appearance. You knew it was coming.

Speaker A: Oh, yeah. That's like mostly every woman feel low.

Speaker B: Depressed.

Speaker A: No, you just have this sulky days.

Speaker B: And you feel like the world doesn't look as rosy as it did.

Speaker A: Totally.

Speaker B: And I don't have any of that, which is great. And I feel great. And I'm not moody. And I wouldn't say I'm anxious. It's the thought of what this is doing makes you anxious, but it's just physically making me feel a bit bloated and very uncomfortable. And that's the thing about a woman's life. You've got puberty, you've got your periods, then you have children, then you have this. And we all have it in different forms, but we just have so many things that happen and it never seems to end.

Speaker A: No, it literally does not. It literally does not.

Speaker B: But I wouldn't change a thing about being a woman. Or me.

Speaker A: You. And I mean about being a woman. I ******* love being a woman. It's so great and it's sexy. I would not want to be a man, I'm going to be honest. No, that sounds anxiety ridden, is just like running around with all these ******* testosterone, trying to put your **** and everything. It's just a lot.

Speaker B: Everything. Yeah. I think it's tough actually being a man in the sense that even today, there are so many expectations of a man. And I think it's a confusing time to be a young man because there's a lot going on if you're a young man.

Speaker A: 100% and scary out there for the boys.

Speaker B: I don't have sons, so I don't know what that's like, parenting sons, but.

Speaker A: Yeah, it's a lot going on. I mean, for girls, too. Maybe feminism hasn't turned out how they thought it would.

Speaker B: Right. And it's just like it's so confusing.

Speaker A: When you get older and you're like, wait, what do I want to do? Do I want to be a stay at home mom? Do I want to have a man? Maybe just take be the breadwinner. What do I actually want to do? And what is society telling me to do? And, yeah, it's just confusing for everyone.

Speaker B: It is difficult. It is very difficult.

Speaker A: But this kind of brings us into our it does. Our chat today mel and we got a little write in which I love a Fabulous Woman is confessing kind of her secret to us, almost.

Speaker B: She is? Yeah, she is. So she's written into us and she said that she's married to a man. A woman married to a man, but she's fallen in love with a woman.

Speaker A: Does she say how old she is?

Speaker B: She doesn't say how old she is. Excuse me. But she said she has been happily married for 20 years. She has children and happily married to this man for 20 years. But recently, she started having strong feelings for someone else and that someone else is a woman. Okay. Yeah. Now, she doesn't specifically say if that woman is somebody she knew before, if she's a friend or anything like that, but she just says that she hasn't told anyone, and neither has this woman. So they both know that they have feelings for each other.

Speaker A: So have they done anything about it?

Speaker B: She says that they feel strongly for each other, but that's it for now. That's all she said. So they've obviously admitted they have feelings. But this other woman is also married to a man right. And been married for a long time, and they both have children and they both have husbands. Wow. And they were both happily married and happily heterosexual, shall we say. And now they've fallen for each other. They've only told each other. They haven't told anybody else. And this woman writes into us saying her head says to cut off ties with her, with this other woman, but her heart is selling her otherwise. She has very strong feelings, but she doesn't know what to do, obviously, because she also mentioned, actually that she never had an experience with another woman. So this is really I kind of thought I was heterosexual and then all of a sudden I'm having strong feelings for somebody else. So what do I do? How do I deal with it? Do I just cut off my relationship with this other woman? I cut off communication and just kind of pretend it's not there? Or do I do something about it?

Speaker A: Yeah. Well, Mel, I want you to start, and then I'll jump in.

Speaker B: Okay. So if I was going to say personally if she was going to ask me personally what I would advise, I would say to her, I'd be very empathetic and say this is a very difficult situation because it's very, very confusing. Particularly if you were heterosexual or you feel you were, whatever, heterosexual and you're married and you're happy. But I would say if you have feelings, strong feelings for somebody else, it could be the somebody else or it could be the situation. So I would say, is there unhappiness or not unhappiness in your marriage? Are you not fully happy? Is there something going on so that you're sort of diverting or being pulled away by something else? Or is it actually that person? And that is very complicated to unravel that. But I think you need to have to think very long and hard. If you feel strongly for this woman and she feels strongly for you, you are going to pretty much blow up your life if you tell your husband or if you leave your husband and your children and so on. It's a huge, huge decision. As much as you can to try and take a step back, I'd say, on your own, not with this one, but think very hard. Is it anything to do with something that is going on or not going on in your marriage? Are you not fully happy and that you've met somebody? And I don't think it's unusual that women are empathetic to other women because we talk as women, we talk much more like I've just told you about my issues, my hormonal issues or my issues about coming off the nova and we empathize much more with each other. And I think that that friendship can potentially become romantic or sexual.

Speaker A: Now, should we make out?

Speaker B: Just kidding. Only you would say that. That's fantastic. So is it because she really has very strong feelings as a woman, I'm not in any way questioning, but what is exactly going on? Because it's a huge decision. I would actually like to caveat that I don't think it's any different if this was a man.

Speaker A: Right, exactly.

Speaker B: I just think it's more confusing for her because it's a woman.

Speaker A: Because and it's her first time. Right?

Speaker B: Yeah. Or believed or lived a life that she was heterosexual and never questioned it. Yeah.

Speaker A: Sorry, did she say that she had actually slept with this woman or was it just like feelings?

Speaker B: She said in what she's written to us that they're just yeah, it's just feelings and that's just feelings.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: So that's what I mean.

Speaker A: It's so interesting because feelings because once I think a lot of us have experienced this when you think you have feelings towards someone and you actually are in that situation and you've made out with them or hooked up with them, and they might not actually be as strong as you think. And you're like, Wait, maybe we are actually just good as friends. Right. But there is just like this way of I mean, obviously there's that sexual tension that is probably confusing to this woman because she's like, whoa, I'm having this towards another ******. This is ******* insane to me. Absolutely. And so obviously that must be confusing. It's weird. It might be a generational thing. Right. Because obviously this woman's a bit older, maybe about your age. Not older, but more mature and sexy. Just like the way of like, oh, maybe she just hasn't had the opportunity like a lot of millennials and obviously Gen Z have had, and just being able to think about that. There are other options out there in my case because obviously I am bisexual and I identify as that. And it's like my first kiss was with a girl. I had women experiences before. I had experiences, like sexual experiences with men. So it's just like there was so many more opportunities and things like that for me. And maybe it is also generational, but maybe it's not. Maybe it's just obviously the environment I was in as well. I was in much more of an artsy crowd and that probably helped out too. But yeah, it's hard when if you're in a conservative place and where your family comes from and there's a bunch of shame, obviously, towards that and you can't really open up that part of you and those feelings that you might have.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: It's not easy, especially because for me, I feel so sad because I would love for this woman to just experiment with these thoughts and feelings that she has, because she obviously has them, she's felt them so strongly, she felt like she has to write into us and wants our advice on it. And I honestly just would love for her to express that and be able to explore that part of her, because now that that part is open, you can't close it.

Speaker B: No client.

Speaker A: So it's going to blow up, in my opinion. I think it's 100% going to blow up, whether it's with this woman or with another woman that she finds. I hope she does honestly experiment a little bit whether it be with this woman or another woman.

Speaker B: Right. I don't disagree with that, to answer the generational thing. So I'd say so I'm 50. I would say, growing up, that it was less fluid in the sense that I certainly grew up in an environment where there was no, in my family anyway, real sort of hang ups or shame about people being gay or bisexual. In fact, my cousin's gay. I have another cousin who's a lesbian, so it's not like I came from this background where there was like nobody's ever, nobody knows. But I would say when I grew up, I think it was very much you're sort of in this box, and there were only so many boxes. It's like, you're a lesbian, you're gay, you're heterosexual, you're bisexual, and then maybe there's something else, but pretty much that's it. And there was certainly no concept that everyone is unique in an individual and may actually be on a whole varying scale of a whole load of different things, and that their sexuality ebbs and flows during their life, particularly for women. And there was, I'd say, zero concept of that. Absolutely none. Yeah, I don't think there was any and obviously it was a lot more sort of giggle, hush. Oh, that person's. There was a lot more of that. However, I would say when I was at university, I did have quite a few friends who had experience, female friends sorry, who had experiences with other women, whether it was just sort of a flirtation, a snog, as we call it, schnog, or a bit more than that, not really a relationship. And I'd say all those friends where that happened, they're all married now to men, and they sort of had that experience and that was enough. And whether it satisfied this curiosity or whatever, that they've never led a bisexual life. So I would say that I grew up in a time where I was at university, in a time where that was happening, whereas when my mum went to university, that was not happening. Even in the don't think that was happening at all. But this concept of people being just be just be fluid. No, that is very much a modern concept. Sorry, I almost dropped my phone. And I think it's great. I really think people have way too many hang ups about this be you you do you I know that's sort of very overused concept, but it's true, isn't it?

Speaker A: No, I love it. This is like an after school special.

Speaker B: It's the best. Yeah. Just be yourself. Just be and I know that that's very easy to say. Yeah, it's very easy to say. But in this particular person this woman has written in, I think this is very difficult, very confusing, and why is it happening? And I think the answer is it's a very complicated answer. I'd like to say to you, oh, well, blah, blah, blah. It's because you're not 100% happy with your husband and you have this friendship with this woman and blah. But I think that's a bit too easy. Could it be that you are bicurious or that is in your subconscious or like you said, you've never had the opportunity? It could be, maybe it isn't. It could be a lot of different things. But I think you actually first have to deal with your marriage and what you want to do, because that's what's.

Speaker A: So hard about that. And it's just like speaking because obviously I'm bi and it's like, obviously every girl who's bi is different. But I don't know if I would ever want a relationship with a woman.

Speaker B: There's just like an emotional, like a.

Speaker A: Full on, let's be girlfriend, girlfriend, wife wife. I don't know if I would want that. But I see myself dating men. I see myself making love to women or having sex or ******* women. I see women very differently as I see men. It's like this weird. It's not like I would never just go out with a girl, but it's just more like I want to be somewhat taken care of in the way of that a man does. And I'm not really attracted to more masculine women.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: I just don't think it would work out. I've just never met the woman that I'm like, oh, my God, I would love to date you. I've just never had that. So that's what's so hard about this, where it's like, yeah, of course she has a husband because she probably loves her husband, but she doesn't want to marry this woman. It sounds like she just wants to **** her and that might be okay. She just needs to experiment.

Speaker B: Yeah. Or maybe I mean, gosh, it could be so many thoughts, it could be so many things. And obviously she hasn't said anything, but it sounds like it's not something she could say to her husband. I have these feelings or urges or whatever, and if she was married to a man who said, okay, go and experiment and kind of come back. But that in itself is also incredibly dangerous and she is in a very difficult position. And I don't think there is any straight, hard, fast answer. Straight. That's hilarious. Hard, fast answer. But I do think that she needs to just be introspective and just think hard about why she's feeling this way if she can because she does have children and she has a husband. And that is a big thing. And coming from me, from somebody who's been married a long time, it's not something you can throw away or you can really hurt somebody. And even if that person, her husband or her children are not judgmental, it is still incredibly difficult. Hang on, you're my mom and you're married to my dad and now today you're a lesbian. Even in the world we live in today, it doesn't matter that they don't think any less of her or they have. It's just oh my you're my like, what?

Speaker A: Yeah, but you gotta be taught. Yeah, I mean, but that's the thing. It's like you don't have to tell your kids if you don't know for sure. Right? Like you definitely should not tell your kids and confuse them for nothing.

Speaker B: If she feels we don't know because we've only got rereading a little bit between the lines. But she's saying that she feels strongly for this woman. So that to me says but she.

Speaker A: Hasn'T even kissed her yet, apparently we don't know. But that's the hard thing. It's like you actually do have to do the act because she said should she?

Speaker B: My head says to cut off ties, my heart says otherwise. So by saying that to me, she's saying that she has very strong feelings from this woman. Now, is it because they've crossed, they have very strong friendship, they've empathized, they're in a particular part of their life where they've both connected with something, as women do. Because we talk to each other much more. We've discussed this many times, Susie. Women do. We tell each other. I mean, I've said this to you, you've said this to me. If you went out for dinner with a complete stranger that was a woman and you went out for dinner and you spent 3 hours with that person, by the end of the evening you'd know everything about yeah, lord, it might.

Speaker A: Not want to **** them.

Speaker B: No, I definitely wouldn't want to ****. But the point I make is if my husband went out for dinner with another man or went even his closest friends, he spends an evening or he goes away on a boys weekend, they discuss absolutely sweet **** all.

Speaker A: True.

Speaker B: They don't talk about anything, any substance. I'll come back and he'll come back. We'll go through this routine every time. Ask him so how so and so? I don't know. We didn't talk about it. What do you mean? You spent three days these guys, he said we don't talk about that. We talk about sport, we talk about bullshit. Well, then they talk about stupid **** and they do lots of pranks. They're just stupid. So they just do stupid stuff. They don't talk about anything of any substance?

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: So you can't have an emotional connection. I don't think men do that thing in the same way. Whereas women have an emotional connection because they share stuff and they talk and they empathize and they say, yeah, I know what it feels like to be this or to be heartbroken away. Men don't have those conversations.

Speaker A: No. And women touch each other in ways and then it just happens, and then they kiss and then they make out and then they touch ******* and yeah, it's fine, a glass of wine happens. No, that is so true. Men are just they're a different breed. They do things. We literally want to feel what the other person's feeling mostly. Absolutely.

Speaker B: So is that why? Would you like to hear a fact? Yeah, I do. So is it why? So this study this is a study, and I will link all this, as usual, in the blog 2019. The study found out that 65 was following women who university age, young women, that 65% of women reported only being attracted to men. And they'd been following these women since 2011, or maybe this study had sorry, but in 2011, 77% of women said that they were only attracted to men. Meanwhile, men's attraction and sexual behavior stayed mostly static in the same time frame.

Speaker A: So people are lying.

Speaker B: To that. But about 85% reported sexual attraction to women only. This is obviously men. And close to 90% reported engaging in sex exclusively with men. So I think the study is saying that women are, in general this is a huge generalization more sexually fluid than men are.

Speaker A: Yeah, of course.

Speaker B: And I think even the statistics I'm very happy for somebody to correct me, but I do believe that more women are bisexual than men. So women find it much easier to be sexually fluid than men do. And women this concept of your sexuality changing during your lifetime is far more common, I think, again, as a generalization, but for women rather than men. And I think I've mentioned to you for some reason, I'd say in the last sort of five years, certainly in the UK, it's a lot more talked about and you've seen it represented in a lot of dramas where you sort of see middle aged women sort of my age and a bit younger. So maybe the they've had some cataclysmic thing happen with the man in their life and either that man's cheated or something awful. Their relationship is broken down. And then they've had a relationship with a woman and they've gone on and been very happy. And that I've seen represented many times in dramas in the UK, which is often a reflection of kind of the central narrative. And I just think it's socially much more acceptable, this concept that yeah, women can for many reasons because well, also.

Speaker A: Women as well as men. But women like to watch lesbian ****.

Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, that's a phenomenon, right?

Speaker A: That's just like because it's soft, it's safe, it's sexy, women aren't gross. Yeah, it's like hot. It is.

Speaker B: Absolutely. And it's also about women, because we talk about this so much. I think it's being talked about a lot generally in the media, that this lack of understanding of what women need to be aroused and to get off and so on, and this endless talk about the ********. But I mean, it is true, isn't it, that women understand other women, they understand what they need to get it going. And so that is part of and that's my portion of lesbian, Paul, easier.

Speaker A: To communicate with a woman than it is a man for some reason, and.

Speaker B: That they understand that more. And so maybe is it easier to then cross the line? But then, I mean, not trying to.

Speaker A: Make sense of this in her head, I am.

Speaker B: Because what I want to know is it because it's very men. Most women, I'd say myself, including you, any women I know has a close relationship, not sexual, but we have much closer. We talk about more ****. So does that mean that you're just.

Speaker A: Going to become a lesbian one day? No, Bell, I'm not going to become yeah, exactly.

Speaker B: That's what I'm saying. I'm like there must be something like.

Speaker A: Let'S say Max was just like, extremely mean to you one day and left you. You're not becoming a lesbian. A ***** eater. No, babe.

Speaker B: A ****. Muncher.

Speaker A: Oh, I loved that.

Speaker B: A muncher. Yeah, that's very horrible. But no, it's not going to happen. But then you say, like, you're saying this woman that wrote in that maybe the opportunity or the situation or whatever never presented itself. You live in the modern what do you mean?

Speaker A: But these things, it doesn't happen every day. I find myself so lucky that I've been able to have these experiences. But even I don't know, even people like women my age, just like maybe they're afraid that so much shame around that as well. Just like even finding woman attractive. It's religion. There's so many reasons that a woman might possibly not have had these somewhat experiences in it. And I'm all for having all of the experiences, obviously, but yeah, it's just, I think especially with women.

Speaker B: ****.

Speaker A: Yeah. Absolutely. It's so great to kiss a girl.

Speaker B: Well, I've never kissed a girl, which.

Speaker A: Is insane to me.

Speaker B: What I can tell you is I have had many women hit on me.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: And often. And a couple of times I've been in a situation where a woman has hit on me and Max has been there and I'm like, oblivious, and he's like, giggling away, and he's like, do you know what's happening here? And I'm like, no. What? And so it's quite funny. That's so funny. But it's just not on my whatever. And now I'm a lot more in tune to it. But it's just surely if you wanted it or maybe if you wanted it to present itself. But I guess that's the thing. If it's in your subconscious and you're burying it. Yeah.

Speaker A: I don't know, I just yeah.

Speaker B: Take the right person. Well, it's so hard, like it's unlocking.

Speaker A: It's so hard to find the right woman. Even like, now, I'm like, it's so hard to find a hot bi girl or lesbian girl who's like my type or whatever, whatever you want to say.

Speaker B: You instantaneous, like you meet somebody. Yeah. Instantly knows.

Speaker A: It's not like, you know but there's either a connection or there's not. That's just like with men, right? You meet a man, either connection there's not done. But it's like, if a girl hits on me, I'm so flattered, I'm like, oh, my God, do you think I'm hot? That's way more than a man. Because a man would put a stick in anything, a woman.

Speaker B: That's true.

Speaker A: They're not going to eat anyone's ****.

Speaker B: No.

Speaker A: Did they say that correctly?

Speaker B: Yeah. **** diving.

Speaker A: Thank you so much, Mel, for that.

Speaker B: And the old lady garden.

Speaker A: Oh, my good, I love it. But no, let's say if you're this woman or you have a boyfriend or you're just getting into a relationship and you're by, you're a woman, you're by and you're finding it hard to speak to your partner about that because I know it's a weird thing. It's like you want to speak to your boyfriend about it or whoever you're dating, and you want to say it in this way of like, I'm bi, but I want to date you. And men honestly do find it confusing because they're like, whale. What, are you going to ******* cheer on me with a woman? Or like, of course. And even bisexual women are confused by it, obviously. I can't speak to bisexual men, but yeah, so it is confusing because it's like, yeah, I do want to hook up with women as well.

Speaker B: Men are confused by bisexual. It's not just straight. I've seen that conversation many times where it's not just straight people saying sort of make up your mind. Ironically, it's also yeah, of course, because it's all confusing. It is confusing.

Speaker A: But I mean, especially if you're in.

Speaker B: The middle, that everyone is unique in that sense and their sexuality can be so many things. The thing here is, if you've been married for a very long time, and this clearly is not all of a sudden, it's just a combination of a lot of different things happening. Perhaps she's not 100% happy she happens to have met and we don't know. Is there somebody who she knew before she met? We don't know because she's not clear about that. But are there sort of lots of things happening, the stars alike, she happens to be or met a woman who, just, for whatever reason, knocks her socks off. There you go, Susie. Or what is it exactly? Is it somehow that her subconscious is.

Speaker A: I don't think you're ever going to figure it out.

Speaker B: Never. It's too complicated. But it's so confusing for. Her. How does she suddenly have a conversation with her husband?

Speaker A: Okay, this is how, this is how.

Speaker B: Okay. Oh, by the way, I fancy a bit of muffin. Obviously, I love it.

Speaker A: In the way I don't know, their relationship, obviously have they had a good sex life, right? And if they have, like, hopefully they've had a good sex life. That's the vibe I'm hopefully putting out to this woman that you've had a positive sex life with this man, and maybe you can talk about sex with him. Maybe you can talk about sex and **** or something. Maybe you guys can watch **** together. Maybe you can watch lesbian **** together or you can watch a super hot lesbian movie together. Yeah, maybe that's even more approachable.

Speaker B: Do you know what I mean?

Speaker A: There's a lot of hot lesbian movies out there.

Speaker B: Yeah, of course.

Speaker A: The one with Rachel Weiss and what's her face. Oh, my God, such a good one.

Speaker B: Yeah. Are we talking about where she's the.

Speaker A: She'S the Jewish ultra Orthodox and it's so good.

Speaker B: Do you know that? What is that film called?

Speaker A: I don't know.

Speaker B: I'm going to I'm actually going to digress here, but I saw it on a plane. It was on oh, my God.

Speaker A: And you just got so horny.

Speaker B: No, because there were elements that I was not fully aware of. It's quite graphic, right? Like the spitting and stuff.

Speaker A: Disobedience.

Speaker B: That's what it's called. You're on a plane and, you know, you're like, so good. One woman is excuse to be blunt, gobbing in the other woman's whatever ******.

Speaker A: Is that what you're going to say?

Speaker B: Well, that's licking the other woman's ****** and then gobbing in the other woman's mouth.

Speaker A: Oh, sure, yeah. Spitting in her mouth.

Speaker B: You hate a big spit person. And I actually this sounds very naive, didn't really think about that thing being a thing because why would it cross my mind? And then I saw this movie on a plane coming back from London, and you're like, and then you realize, what the seat and then there's somebody sitting next to you.

Speaker A: Yeah, watching a sexy movie on a plane is never a good idea.

Speaker B: That was a woman sex it was a sex scene.

Speaker A: You're watching **** on a plane, mel you're watching **** on a plane.

Speaker B: I mean, it was pretty graphic, that movie, wasn't it?

Speaker A: Yeah, it's incredible. But that's what I'm saying. I'm like if you are a woman.

Speaker B: Informative, I'd like to say very informative. Exactly.

Speaker A: If you're a woman trying to tell your boyfriend or your husband or whoever you're dating, maybe watch this movie with them and be like, that's hot.

Speaker B: I mean, when they first I like, that be like, why are we watching a movie about the Jewish community? And then they're like, oh, that's why.

Speaker A: It's like you have to kind of bring it in a positive tone in a kind way. This is how I'm feeling. It's not supposed to be that serious. It's just the way I'm feeling right now.

Speaker B: I agree.

Speaker A: Women are sexy.

Speaker B: Problem here is she's already met this woman, so she needs to speed up. That's the problem.

Speaker A: What if she also feels this way because she doesn't feel like she can tell her husband about it? Right?

Speaker B: It's like any of those things.

Speaker A: It's like, babe, you're not going to leave your husband. It's just you want this new experience. So to talk to obviously, like you said, to talk to your husband first about how you're feeling in the lesbian and not about this woman, but just about, hey, I'm having these new feelings come up. Do you want to watch lesbian ****?

Speaker B: Yeah. And I would agree with all of that and that makes a lot of sense. I think the issue here is she's had an emotional connection with this woman and for me, my feelings about cheating and that emotional connection is very different to I have fallen in love with the person and I want to have sex with them, then I just want to have sex with them. To me, they're two very separate things. And if somebody or my husband came to me and said he'd slept with somebody else, I mean, that's a no go for me. But it would be way a billion times worse if he said he'd fallen in love with somebody. And that's the thing here. She's actually going to say she's going to hurt him and say I've fallen or I have strong feelings for somebody else. Which it doesn't matter whether any way you dice that if you say that to somebody, they're going to think, well, then I'm not the full thing for you anymore. It doesn't matter how you going to try and say that in a nice way, that is what you're going to feel. So the feelings of I feel sexually attracted to women is one thing, but having fallen for somebody, being in love with somebody, having an emotional connection, which therefore saying that to the other person irrespective of their gender is going to tell them, all right, so I'm not your world anymore. If you like, well, it's just so.

Speaker A: Hurtful bit because it's like these people haven't even slept together yet. You know what I mean?

Speaker B: We don't think so.

Speaker A: We don't think so. So that's the hardest part, where it's like let's say that they haven't, right? Where it's like, yeah, she has this emotional connection with someone, but it's like.

Speaker B: Maybe it's not sexual, but that's what I'm saying.

Speaker A: I'm like, is that cheating? That seems so crazy. You think that's cheating if it's not sexual at all, even an emotional relationship with someone that'd be like a friend?

Speaker B: No, but you haven't done anything sexual with them. If you are having strong feelings for somebody and having a relationship which essentially is secret, even if there's no sex, there is a cheating, there maybe it's.

Speaker A: Not secret, but maybe her husband knows that she's going for lunch every now and then with this woman.

Speaker B: Yeah. Look, I am not telling you this is easy. This is super complicated.

Speaker A: I don't agree, though. I think it's like cheating begins when.

Speaker B: So for you, cheating is only when fluids or things 100%.

Speaker A: You can't just flirt with someone.

Speaker B: People are naked.

Speaker A: You can't just flirt with someone. Be like, I find you hot. I feel like we have some kind of a connection that is not cheating. That's way too light.

Speaker B: Okay, well, put it this way, I would not be impressed.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: I couldn't deal with it.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: So I think a lot of people would have an issue with that because the sex thing is kind of the ick factor of like, oh, my God, your bits of entangled with somebody else's bits. There's an ick factor. But if you emotionally have a connection with somebody else oh, my God, that's hugely painful. The other person, if they find out. Yeah.

Speaker A: I mean, I swear to God, I fall in love every day with someone. Do you not like, hugely emotionally, like, how I feel about Jeff, but I'm like, I try to put all my feelings out there, all the connections.

Speaker B: If someone connects to me yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Maybe this woman's the same, but she.

Speaker A: Just has never had this kind of level with a woman.

Speaker B: Yeah. And the fact that it's a woman possible, which I mean, the other thing is, in a very kind of weird way, maybe that's less of a problem for the husband. You just don't know.

Speaker A: We don't know.

Speaker B: That's a huge hypocrisy. Hypocrisy in society. We don't know. I would just say I really empathize. I really do. This is hugely appreciated. We can agree on that. I think that she's going through a lot, whatever it is, and I think a lot of people would judge her. I tell her, Be very careful who you talk to, because people are hugely judgmental and you don't want somebody to tell your husband before you do, so be very careful about that. But I don't think this is straightforward. It could be that she's bisexual. It could be that, like you said, she's just having an emotional connection with somebody. It could be that she is. It could be many, many different things. And that's a very difficult thing to unpack.

Speaker A: She's got to do some meditation and some masturbation.

Speaker B: Yeah. And that is my prescription. Is it? Yes. Dr. Susie. Here I come. Wow. Susie, you are yeah, I mean, doctor, surgeon, surgeon suez, here I am. There you go. Well, I think is that it set.

Speaker A: Up for us today?

Speaker B: Yeah. Now I don't know what else I don't have anything else to say.

Speaker A: Here's the thing. Okay, last points. Watch Disobedience.

Speaker B: Okay. Yes. But not on a plane.

Speaker A: Not on a plane where you're sitting.

Speaker B: Next to other people and you suddenly shriek because some woman has spit into another, but I have to say, hugely informative.

Speaker A: Oh, my God. So funny. But that's what I'm saying. Watch disappear.

Speaker B: I mean, a real lesbian relationship. I'd like to stress that this was a real super intense, super taboo, but that's what I'm saying.

Speaker A: It will show you exactly. If you are confused, you will not be after this movie.

Speaker B: No. There will be no confusion at all in your mind. You'll be, like, informative.

Speaker A: It's incredible.

Speaker B: It is.

Speaker A: It's incredible.

Speaker B: I mean, the whole story is very good. And that we're not going to ruin it. We're going to ruin it.

Speaker A: No, we're not ruining it. Go watch disobedience. Not in a plane. Not with a pervert behind you. Watching it with you.

Speaker B: Yeah, don't. Don't watch this obedience because it is a little pony. Yeah.

Speaker A: It's very porny. And then go **********.

Speaker B: But it is.

Speaker A: Rachel and then go meditate.

Speaker B: And meditate. Yeah, do that, maybe. But I don't know what to say now because I'm thinking I've watched that. That was ages ago. I saw that movie.

Speaker A: It's incredible.

Speaker B: Stayed with you. I did. Rachel. Oh, my God. Now I can't get that out of my head.

Speaker A: No, it's really bad.

Speaker B: The spit falling from a height.

Speaker A: Okay, everyone has to go watch it now and literally tell us what you think.

Speaker B: Yeah. Rachel Weiss and Rachel McAdams. Oh, my God. Rachel Weiss is British.

Speaker A: Oh, my God.

Speaker B: Canadian.

Speaker A: Wow. Are we going to make out? But that's weird. Anyway, so funny.

Speaker B: Seriously, just digressed, as usual.

Speaker A: Digressed.

Speaker B: However, I'd like to, just as a seriousness, because this is somebody's life. Yes. I really feel for you, but you really go and think very hard before you do anything rash, would be my advice.

Speaker A: I agree.

Speaker B: Literally.

Speaker A: Just, I think try to talk to your husband first. I don't usually agree with that. I usually think act before you speak.

Speaker B: Yeah, you do.

Speaker A: Which is bad, I know. I don't know, but I actually think if you watch not a documentary on lesbians, but you watch an interesting movie about hot lesbians, and then you actually get to talk about it. And obviously the kids are not they're in bed already.

Speaker B: Yeah. Please don't watch it with children or grannies or anybody.

Speaker A: You're watching things that will bring up the conversation naturally, and you can gauge.

Speaker B: Exactly I don't actually think for once is he? That's pretty good advice.

Speaker A: We need, like, a bell. We're looking at a sound effect.

Speaker B: Okay.

Speaker A: That's so funny. Well, Mel, I'm happy. We agree.

Speaker B: I'm very happy, too. It's Gen X and the millennial coming back together again. Yeah.

Speaker A: And now we're going to go watch Disobedience together.

Speaker B: So that's perfect. Yeah. That's all I have to say about that.

Speaker A: Okay, well, we'll love you, babe.

Speaker B: I love you, too.

Speaker A: That's nice.

Speaker B: And until next time.

Speaker A: Until next time, guys. We'll see you next Wednesday.

Speaker B: We will.

Speaker A: Love you. Bye.

Speaker B: Bye. Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on Social at sharingmytruthpod and leave us a voicemail on our to share your stories and experiences with us. We'll see you next time.

Speaker A: Bye bye. Three, two, one. Gap.

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