top of page

Episode 67  -  The Truth: Why Do you Keep Going Back To Your Ex For More! 
Melany Krangle & Suzie Sheckter

Suzie: Welcome to sharing my truth with Mel and Suzie. The uncensored version where we bear it all.

Mel: We do. 1234.

Suzie: Hello. It's sharing my truth pod here with Mel and Susie. And we're here to say we have some fun and life is gay. Is that our new theme song?

Mel: Oh, wow.

Suzie: Okay, well, here's a cute little friendly reminder to give us a little five star review. Tell us what you love about us. Tell us what you hate about Steven. We don't give a ****. You can share with us on our socials. Sharemytoothpod. Go to To share your own truths, whatever they may be. Leave us a voicemail. Send us an email. Send us a DM. We love you. Hey, babes.

Mel: Hello, darling.

Suzie: How are you? Fine and fabulous.

Mel: I'm good.

Suzie: Fine and fabulous.

Mel: Fantastically well.

Suzie: We are drinking this weird little ******* french liqueur that you have bestowed upon us.

Mel: Yeah, we're having a little tipple.

Suzie: Oh, a tipple, as they say. All right.

Mel: Pomple mousse. Oy, pomele mousse.

Suzie: What is that? Very good. Thank you very much. And why are we drinking it?

Mel: Is it because it's fall season? Well, it's because it's a little late and it's a little after the dinner. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So that's what we're doing. Well, it's very nice taking this all very seriously.

Suzie: No, I mean, obviously we take this very seriously, but, you know, you have to have a little bit of. A little bit of liqueur to keep things rolling.

Mel: Absolutely.

Suzie: And it's pink.

Mel: It is so.

Suzie: It's cute.

Mel: I'm a fan. Yeah.

Suzie: Um, well, we love that.

Mel: But it's pink. Yes. Yeah.

Suzie: Um, um, today we're talking about a little message. Oh, we got a little message. And, okay, Mel, read it and then we'll talk about it. Because a little, I think a lot of people are actually going to relate to this. And I do too. I have a personal story after you tell it.

Mel: Okay. So this was a woman wrote the sent to us anonymously, but she said that she's been having a relationship with a man since she was 32. They're both. Her and the man are now 41. He doesn't want to marry or have kids. So she broke things off.

Suzie: Yep. Smart.

Mel: But they've gone through a lot together. So whenever she gets down, she calls him up for comfort, which is horny. Yeah, comfort stroke. Horny. And then they end up having sex. And she's like, how do I stop? How do I stop doing this.

Suzie: Okay, personal story. Personal anecdote.

Mel: Go on, then.

Suzie: I have never been 32 or 41.

Mel: No, not yet. Not yet.

Suzie: But I will be. We don't have to talk about that. But I do remember having an ex boyfriend and always. And literally just never having. Never stopped the sex. And we would just still have sex, even though it wasn't even that good, to be honest. But it was just the comfort sex.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: And it was just kind of, like, easy. We actually worked together, so it was kind of like, hey, **** it, whatever, let's just **** up to work. And then after a while, I think I moved. I had to move away for work.

Mel: And he came to visit me.

Suzie: We weren't even dating. He came to visit me, and, oh, my God, it was like, the closure I needed because he came to visit me. He wasn't that fun when he came to visit. And the sex isn't good. And we had spent that little time apart because I had moved away for, like, a month or two, and I was like, oh, my God, I don't need you anymore.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: And so it was literally just having that space in between and not being a convenience, which is what it actually was.

Mel: Crutch.

Suzie: It was a crutch. It was a convenience. And I just needed that little space and then to come back to it and be like, oh, my God, this was literally so not for me. But I needed to have all of that experience to really realize it.

Mel: Yeah, but I think it's the same as anything.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: You know, if you're in a relationship and you want to move on or whatever, unless you meet somebody, it's incredibly difficult. So, like, this is like, if she's with this guy and if she'd met somebody new, she wouldn't be going back to him. But that's not the easiest thing to do. So you're a human being. What do you do? Obviously, your body needs comfort, and you need comfort, and you probably need sex, and so that's what you do because it's a pattern. It's something, you know, and, you know, kind of what's going on there. So you go back to it, and I think it's completely human. But is it good for you? Absolutely not. Because you're actually stopping yourself from moving on psychologically and physically. You're stopping yourself from meeting anybody. But does everyone do it? Of course they do. Because to, you know, we could all sit down and write down the rules of life of what you should be doing, but the reality of what you, you do do in life is very different, because it's very, very difficult. So I think what to say to this woman. You're human, and there's only one thing I can say to you, is either it's a bit like quitting smoking or going on a diet or something like that, you just have to go, right? Today's the day. That's it. I'm not doing it anymore.

Suzie: Cold turkey.

Mel: Cold turkey. Exactly. That's the word. And that's really all you can do. And then just pray to God you don't get **** faced at a party and go call him up. You know, why is that the hardest thing?

Suzie: Hey, get **** faced at a party. You're at a bar, you're with a **** ton of hot other men or women, and you're like, I really have to call my ex. It's like, wait, there are more people here who might be able to make you come harder, and yet you want to go back to your crutch.

Mel: I don't think you necessarily want to. It's just, you know, if that person hasn't moved on and, you know, that person still fancies you, basically finds you attractive, then, you know, they'll say yes. I mean, that's part of it. You go into any new situation. Not that I'm obviously in these new situations, but you. You don't know whether that person's gonna say yes, do you? You don't know if it's gonna work. You don't know if it's gonna be a disaster, et cetera, et cetera. And of course, when we drink, we all. Jesus, I've done many stupid things.

Suzie: Mel is real.

Mel: I've got stitches in my head. I've got all sorts of things.

Suzie: You're a good girl, Mel.

Mel: Don't.

Suzie: Ridiculous.

Mel: Not really.

Suzie: Oh, she's a bad girl.

Mel: No, it's a bit celiac points, but no, I do have stitches in my head from getting very drunk and various other things. But, I mean, God, you know, there's too many stories to tell. But, yeah, I just think it's. It's a crutch. It's comfort. And what do you do if you haven't actually moved on and she hasn't met the person for whatever reason? Because that isn't the easiest thing to do. Will you go back to it? And the only thing you can do. And maybe you actually quite like him too. Like you just weren't aligned in what you want in your life, which is another thing. But she could still really like the guy, maybe not love him or whatever.

Suzie: Well, she wants children. And if anyone else were to say this, or maybe if she was a little bit younger, she said, she's 41 now, I'd be like, **** it, just go have fun. Who cares? Maybe you'll figure it out. But because she brought up the, he doesn't want kids, so I broke up with him, but we're still *******. It's like she really is kind of ******* up a bit of her life in the way of, like, if she does want children.

Mel: Yeah. It doesn't actually matter, us speaking from experience, it doesn't really matter whether it's children, whether it's, you know, the same things. Whether you want to both live and have a certain lifestyle, if your values are not aligned. And those values aren't necessarily, I think everyone thinks it's all about religion or something like that. Values are how you want to live. You know, what is the lifestyle you want to live? What is it you want to do every day? What do you enjoy? And what do you both sort of believe in? All of the goals that you want to go towards. If those things are not aligned, you're doomed. You are doomed. So children is a part of that. But I've seen so many couples who've fallen by the wayside. Because at the beginning, I can think of one couple I knew years ago, he wanted a very extravagant lifestyle. And he was a banker and whatever, and he married this woman. He loved her, married her young, and she never once. She wasn't interested in fancy cars and big houses and flash lifestyle. And when they first married, he didn't have any money. It didn't really matter. But as he went along, it became more and more of a problem. Cause it wasn't the lifestyle that she wanted. And that's what I mean, it's not what you want if it's not aligned. And children are a part of that, it's a huge problem. So it doesn't necessarily. The fact she's mentioned children, but it could be anything. It's never going to change. And this belief, it is often women who want to change. Men, they are not going to change.

Suzie: What?

Mel: Yeah, and they're not going to change, particularly if they're 41.

Suzie: No.

Mel: They may evolve a bit and they may, you know, things will change in your life, but fundamentally what they want, and I've said this to you, and I say this to many people, you should never compromise the big things you want in your life. You have to compromise little things, otherwise you'll never have a successful relationship. I'm saying that also from experience, but compromising the big things that you want, whether that's children, certain kind of lifestyle, maybe you want to travel or whatever the hell it is you want to do, it's just not going to work. And so she has made the right choice to stop because that's an awful long time. That's almost ten years, right? Was it ten years? Yeah, almost, yeah. So it's a huge chunk of your life. And, you know, 41, you're still very young now. You still got lots of life, but get on out there and, yeah, keep going back to him. Every time there's a crisis, your subconscious is doing something to you. So the only thing I would say to her is, I'm sure, I don't know, sitting in the life I'm living now from experience, but I'm sure it's very, very difficult, very easy. And I'm sure nine out of ten people would go back and have sex with their ex if there wasn't somebody else they preferred in the picture. And let's. You're going through a difficult thing or whatever, it's completely human thing to do, but if you want to get on with your life, whatever that is, and that doesn't have to be about relationship, but just get on, move forward, you gotta, you gotta stop that.

Suzie: I mean, the hardest, like, the fact that she brought up kids means it's important, right? So it's like, of course. And, you know, she's gonna miss her chance. And that's what the saddest thing about it is, because I personally don't see myself as a person who wants kids, like, actively, but the people who want kids break relationships off for it. And that's so sad to see. And then when you go right back into those relationships or not a relationship, but sex, like, you're holding yourself back from something that could make you, it.

Mel: Could be really great, so much happier.

Suzie: And actually what you want. And now, I don't know. I mean, she could lose her chance so quickly. And that's what's so sad about being a woman. I'm sorry, ladies, to say it, but we don't have actually that much time if we want to have kids.

Mel: You don't. I mean, that's another whole. That's a whole reality, you know, I mean, that's another whole thing. But I had my children at 31, 32. I was just 32, 35. And I remember when I had my second child, the doctor said to me, oh, you know, geriatric mother. And I'm like, holy ****, I was young. I'm younger than any of my friends who had children. Like all my friends, I'm now in my fifties. My girls are teenagers.

Suzie: How old is this man? I want to ******* fight him.

Mel: No, no, no. This was a. Sorry, this was a. Yeah, a doctor. Yeah. I think we do have a window. There's a reality, and I'm sorry to say men don't have that window biologically. But if that is something you want, go on. Get on with your life. You know, I'm not saying that you're gonna go and find this man, but the other thing is the sex bit. Mm hmm. There are. And I say this to many people, including my children. There are many ******* fish in the sea.

Suzie: Yes, there are. ******* awful.

Mel: You know, there are many men who I'm sure would have sex with you. You don't have to have sex with this guy.

Suzie: No.

Mel: So even if you move on to the next guy who isn't your forever guy, just move on. Like, do something new.

Suzie: It's just about having that separate sex and seeing that that guy you had before was actually not that great, because I think we've all been there where we're in something so deeply, and we are like, oh, my God, this is the forever. This is what I love. How am I supposed to move on from this? And then you actually finally move on, and you're like, I can't even believe how I thought last week. Like, this is. You know, it's crazy how fast people are actually able to change their mindset when something else comes along. And if you actually just put your mindset into hoping and wanting and, you know, searching for that other thing, that's gonna make you just that much happier.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: It's worth it, doing it. And, you know, you're sick. You're technically single now. If you're a single lady who wants children. Yes. Get on the apps. Who ******* cares? Go **** whoever the **** you wanna ****. You don't have to go back to the point.

Mel: Even if you're not having a relationship, just go find somebody new.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And I say a woman, whatever. But. I know this is very easy for me to say, but I always, you know, I always think to myself, isn't it better to be happy than in a miserable ******* situation? I know that's easy for me to say. I know it's easy for me to say, but I think you get into a thing where you think there's nobody else. Yeah. I mean, literally, ladies, walk down the street, there's a million men. Okay, like, I may, I'm not saying, because I certainly don't see that many men and I think are very attractive. But anyway, the point is Elle's very picky. Very picky. There are lots of men.

Suzie: No, there's too many.

Mel: There's so many men. Go into a bar, go into, you know, there's so many situations. And I'm not saying it's easy, but you don't have to go back. And I just think it's. It's not just the sex element, which I obviously totally understand the physical need, like comfort and sex. You know, like I've said this before, like, if tragic things happen in your life, like funerals is one where people always end up having sex because it's like emotional. Like, not that they're all having sex. You know what I mean?

Suzie: No, but they are all having sex.

Mel: It's very common that people have one night stands at funerals because your emotions are so heightened that what is the thing that's gonna make you feel better? Sex. And it makes you feel better for a nanosecond or however long it lasts, and then you feel **** again. But I mean, it's very common when things happen in life. It's sort of like an anesthetic, isn't it, to the pain or the **** that's going on, you know, because sex makes you feel good, but then it's gone and, you know, unless, you know, you're sting and you're into tantric sex. Most of us aren't doing it for 3 hours, so it's pretty short. I am.

Suzie: I don't know what you're doing.

Mel: Yeah, exactly. What am I doing wrong? I've got ******* 3 hours.

Suzie: What?

Mel: Yeah, exactly. But no, I think I'd nod off. I mean, okay, just keep it going and I'll just.

Suzie: Oh, just lay back a long time.

Mel: But I think it's just, it. The body is one thing, but psychologically going back, you're going backwards to a man you said no to for sex, which is the most intimate thing you could do. It's not good for your mind, is it?

Suzie: No. And. But I. It's such a common thing.

Mel: It's very common.

Suzie: Obviously is obviously this man.

Mel: It's normal. It's.

Suzie: This man is going back to you because he has no consequences.

Mel: But he also. He. Well, from what she said, obviously we've only got a little message, but he didn't break it off because he's not the one that has.

Suzie: Why the **** would he have to break it off? He's getting free sex. He doesn't actually have to commit to a child anymore. He doesn't actually have to commit to you anymore. It's just him having a ******* free *** time. He's probably sleeping with other women, too, because he doesn't have to. Not, you guys aren't together anymore, but.

Mel: Just go and find somebody new. So how do you. But this is the question she's asking because we're really.

Suzie: How do you find someone new?

Mel: No, we're telling her what she ****** knows. Is that how do you get, let's say you're miserable or you've had too much to drink or you're having a sad moment. And he's the person in the last ten years you've always called as comfort. That's the bit. That's the problem for her, is that she gets into a, like most of us, we get sad, we call somebody or we get drunk, we call somebody. Whatever it is that is the person for the last ten years, she's called. How do you stop that? I mean, call somebody else. Yeah, but you gotta find that person to call. So she's got to stop that habit. If you get them adrift.

Suzie: Can you call a best friend? Yeah, call a lifeline.

Mel: Have another drink.

Suzie: Call your dog.

Mel: You know, call your dog.

Suzie: Yeah, call your dog. They'll always pick up.

Mel: I, you know, start dating. I think, get on the apps. Go out there.

Suzie: Yeah, get out there.

Mel: Start meeting some men, start meeting people. And I know, again, I realize it's very easy for me to say, but there's only one way. It's like anything in life, it doesn't matter.

Suzie: I do think if you are, break the connection. If you are trying to get over someone, obviously get under them. But, like, we're telling her to not get under themselves. No, under someone else. If you're trying to get over someone, like, I think the most fun way to go on a date that's not on an app is to ask two of your best friends to set you up with two of other guys that they know.

Mel: That's a good idea.

Suzie: You know, the best relationships that I have seen are people that have met each other.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: That have met each other from friends of friends. That's always how the best relationships work. And if it doesn't work out with that one person, something else will come of it. You don't have to put that pressure on it. Yes, exactly.

Mel: I do think that that's something I see a lot of, is, I think, particularly women, because from what I can see, or I've observed the dating scene is very difficult. And I don't know if that's because there's just too much dating. There's, like, too much going on. Whereas in my day, you know, you literally did go to the bar or to the nightclub or whatever you were doing. Nightclub? That sounds very old fashioned, doesn't it? Um. ****. I've completely lost my train of thought.

Suzie: Oh, yeah, going to the nightclub, you're going to see the people.

Mel: I've totally lost my. No, Mel, the pompom is.

Suzie: That's ******* ****.

Mel: That's funny.

Suzie: Um, you know, you're going.

Mel: Meeting somebody.

Suzie: Meeting somebody new. You gotta meet someone new, Mel.

Mel: No, that's the thing I was going to say is, like, it seems to me that dating is really complicated now.

Suzie: Yes, it is, because it is.

Mel: I think it seems. It's difficult for me to really assess, but from my sort of observation of women I know in their twenties, obviously, I know Gen Z's and millennial. Like, it seems very complicated. And a couple of my friends who, you know, divorced and they've started dating again, it seems like a very, it seems much more complicated to me. It's also harder for women because, you.

Suzie: Know, it's always harder for women have.

Mel: More choice because they're looking at, you know, all ages, as it were. But I think women put way too much pressure on a date. Like, just go on the date, you know, have a nice smell nice, put some nice clothes on. Put them on for you, you know, do your hair, do your makeup, make yourself feel good. Just go on the date. What have you got to lose? Don't put the pressure that this is, this could be my husband and this. Just go on the date. Yeah, don't worry about it.

Suzie: If it doesn't work, doesn't work.

Mel: Go. If you're going for a drink, go and have a nice drink. Try and have a chat. Go for dinner. Have a nice dinner. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't. It's no assessment of you as a person or anything like that. Just go on the date and keep an open mind.

Suzie: Yeah, so like every, I remember when I was dating so briefly when I was going on dates, like, there's. You have your date, so you set up your date. Hopefully it's great, and you're hopefully interested in him, but just keep a backup plan with one of your girlfriends. And if the date, if it's a night date, you're going for drinks or whatever, I always recommend for a first date, do not go for dinner. It is way too long. It's too formal. Go for a cocktail. If it turns into snacks and it turns into dinner, then it's great. But just go for a ******* cocktail or a beer, whatever. You guys are interested. Yeah, exactly. And then obviously, like, make a plan. Like, make a plan 2 hours later, an hour later with your girlfriend being like, hey, I'm gonna go on this date. I want an out. If I have to have an out, I. Or if it's ****, just *******, like, being like, hey, I'm so sorry, like, my friend needs me. Or just like, be like, just run the **** out of there and go make sure your friend is available and go to her house. Like, you know, just make another plan. Because some dates suck and you have to just kind of live with that reality. But you can make it fun by also planning another kind of date night with your girlfriend and then going out with them after. Like, it doesn't have to be so serious.

Mel: I think that's a very good idea. I really do. I. I mean, I'd say back in, like, you know, 100 years ago when I was dating, it was always like a drink or coffee or something.

Suzie: Something like that. You do not go on a ******* dinner date.

Mel: And I do remember running away from one. I think I told you I climbed out a window. Poor guy. Probably still there.

Suzie: Classic.

Mel: I think that's a very good, very good idea. And also, you know, this man could be a lunatic. So.

Suzie: Yeah, you have no idea. No one. Or he could be the love of.

Mel: Your ******* life, but just go for a drink. It's just a drink. And that's the other thing I would say. And I do see this with a lot of young women, particularly. They're just like, oh, I can't bothered much. Prefer to watch whatever on Netflix.

Suzie: You know, just don't make it that serious.

Mel: But you've got to. There is no. You've got to get out there. If you don't get out there. I'm sorry, I know it seems obvious, but you're never going to meet anyone. No, we all love sitting in our gym jams, watching. Watching Netflix with a nice, whatever, cup of tea, thing of popcorn, whatever the hell you do. But you are not going to meet anybody watching Netflix in your gym jams.

Suzie: No, we're not anyone like.

Mel: And not anyone decent.

Suzie: Decent, exactly.

Mel: I mean, you're not. You're gonna find the person that you're gonna happily. Well, actually, I've been married for 25 years, and I do not watch tv.

Suzie: With Max, which is kind of crazy to me.

Mel: We have never. Max doesn't like fiction. Everything has to be based in fact.

Suzie: He's the craziest ******* person. He just watches these ******* cold war shows.

Mel: No, well, he watches all sorts of weird. But his big thing is he likes watching people gambling. And he has this guy called Vegas Matt, and he watches, like, the slot machine. And I'm just like, so when I. At night, then we are digressing here. And I know you all want to know this, but I sit in my bed, and I've got my big widescreen tv, and I watch my tv, and he puts his headphones and watches his stupid videos.

Suzie: This is romance.

Mel: We never, ever watch the same thing.

Suzie: The only thing we.

Mel: And the thing that is really ******* annoying. So I'm just telling you, you can meet the love of your life and flicks and chill. Yeah, I like crime and drama and stuff like that. And if it's anything to do legal, my husband's a lawyer. He'll go, no, that doesn't happen. Cause law, blah, blah. And you're like, oh, shut up.

Suzie: Shut the **** up. Shut the **** up.

Mel: And so I make him put his headphones on. Cause he's really annoying.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: And the only thing we can actually watch, ironically, this will make you laugh, are cooking shows, and I can't cook to save my life. That is quite funny. But we never. We don't watch tv. We don't watch series. You know, people have a box set and chill or whatever the **** you call it.

Suzie: A box set. Like a DVD box.

Mel: No, no. Don't you still call it that? Let's call that in England. Like, you watch. What do you call it when you.

Suzie: Go through all the series?

Mel: No, when you just, like, plow through the whole show.

Suzie: Oh, you binge it.

Mel: You binge. That's it. A binge. A box set. That's. They still put it on. We still call it that anyway. We never do that. Never, ever, ever. If I binge a box set, which I often do, I do it on my own. Yeah.

Suzie: Honestly, it's kind of more enjoyable, to be honest, than having to do it with someone that you have to wait for that person.

Mel: I love watching my own shows, but what I'm saying, that's. I've totally digressed.

Suzie: Totally.

Mel: But she needs to get out there and meet somebody new. And this new person does not have to be the person you marry or have seven children with it. Just in the immortal words of Susie Schechter, we can just be somebody who's a bit of fun and a bit of, you know, rumpy pump.

Suzie: As long as they know where your **** is.

Mel: Well, there you go. Yeah.

Suzie: Why the **** not?

Mel: I mean, exactly.

Suzie: Figure it out.

Mel: I mean, just get out. Get him out of your head. Mind, soul, whatever.

Suzie: I promise you, if you think this man is obsessed with you, there is actually going to be a man even more obsessed with you and your *****. I promise.

Mel: And your *****. That's excellent. I just think she needs to break the cycle. And when she's broken the cycle, I'm sure she could even be friends with this ex.

Suzie: Sure. Give it a couple months, move on, talk to him.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: That's also a thing I think we all kind of make. We're like, of course we can be friends with our exes. And I am sort of friends with my exes. I don't speak to them, though, on.

Mel: A regular ******* basis.

Suzie: I don't think there's anything wrong with being friends with them. It's just like, once you've broken up with them, you shouldn't ******* really be in contact with that person unless you have children with them or you have something else, obviously, like, there are reasons.

Mel: To be in contact with these people.

Suzie: But if you don't have to, why? Why?

Mel: Unless he's like such a good inner circle, like somebody's brother or, you know, whatever, that you can't avoid him. No. Yeah, but. So this is my advice. Move on, go out, get it. What are we today? We're like mid week? Go out this Friday, get ******* plastered and have some plaster. Just move on and don't call him. Oh, here's another thing you could do. Go take him out your phone.

Suzie: Yes. Block him.

Mel: So if you're, like, worried, like, ****, if I delete or block or whatever, I don't know, do something old fashioned. Write his ******* number down, but just delete it. So you can't call him. Yeah, because when you block, can you unblock? Yeah, because I've blocked, but I never unblocked, so I've never thought about. So delete him. Delete him from your contacts. Oh, we're boring sizzies.

Suzie: No, I'm not.

Mel: Delete him from your contacts.

Suzie: Delete.

Mel: Write his phone number down somewhere.

Suzie: Delete him from your instagram. Delete him from your ******* contacts. Delete him from your TikTok. Lead him from everywhere. If you actually want to get over this person, you will. You will delete him. Block him. Because you need to do this for your mental health and your self care, sweetie. You do 100%.

Mel: You've got to do this. Stop the cycle.

Suzie: Get someone else obsessed with your ****. I promise it will happen.

Mel: Well, she said it.

Suzie: I ******* said it. And I mean it.

Mel: You know, this is sazy talking.

Suzie: Everyone send your clip pics to Mel. She really wants to see them because she'll be so obsessed with them.

Mel: I really would prefer if you sent them to Susie.

Suzie: I don't know what you're talking about. I think that's actually a great idea.

Mel: I'm sure you probably would like it.

Suzie: I think you would really like it. Mel is a clip pic. But, yeah, so, I mean, ex boyfriends are hard. Ex boyfriends are hard because they have so much information on us.

Mel: Yeah. And I mean, and they know where.

Suzie: All our spots are.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And they can just reel us back in by saying, baby, your daddy didn't love you. And you're like, yeah, you're right. I have to go back there and I have to go see you and sleep with you to prove you right.

Mel: But another thing you've said that is that don't. Stop that. Don't fact that you've had that relationship with somebody and you were vulnerable and you blah blah blah, and you gave it all up and blah blah blah. Don't let that stop you from meeting somebody new, because if you take that attitude, you never meet anybody new. You're right. You know, if you really want to find true love or a great relationship or whatever you want to call it, you both have to be vulnerable. You both have to kind of.

Suzie: Vulnerability is gross, Mel.

Mel: Yeah, what is the word?

Suzie: Vulnerability is scary.

Mel: You have to. But not straight away, I hasten to add. Hasten. Do you like that? Does that sound very british? Don't. Take your time. Take your friggin time.

Suzie: Friggin.

Mel: You know what I mean? An extra. She's just taking the **** now. Anyway. I've had enough. She's had too much compliments. I know.

Suzie: The pompa moose. Okay.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie: No, I do love that because I feel like people want to rush.

Mel: Okay? But that's. Don't rush into any.

Suzie: But this woman's 41, Mel. This woman is 41. She needs to have children, apparently.

Mel: Well, there are other ways to have children. Look, I mean, look, I get it. And, oh, God. I mean, I could sit here and tell you, you know, this is the annoying thing about being 51 is that you've seen the friggin puppet show and the strings and everything around it, is that I could tell you what you should do.

Suzie: And what does that mean?

Mel: Well, look, I mean, the reality is if you're 41, this is gonna sound harsh, but if you're 41 and you want kids, you've got to get on with it. And it may not, and you cannot make that just about the next man you meet. That's not fair. You can't meet that man. And then, you know, in the first drink, cocktail, coffee, whatever that is, go. Yes. And I want four children. That's ******* terrifying. He's gonna run for the hills.

Suzie: Yeah, you're right.

Mel: So you're gonna have to. I mean, you're gonna have to make a decision. A kind of games time decision. Game time. Yeah. Does that sound right? Yes.

Suzie: You're a sporty gal.

Mel: Yeah. Right. You've got to make a decision is at this point, at 41, you might meet somebody and, you know, don't get me wrong, 40 one's very young. It's ten years younger than me.

Suzie: It's young, but it's not young to have kids.

Mel: It's not young to have kids. And you have a very short window now.

Suzie: And I'm not being mean. We're just being honest. This is the real ******* biological thing to do. Unless you're getting a surrogate. Like, that's real.

Mel: Getting a surrogate.

Suzie: Surrogate. Surrogate.

Mel: A surrogate. Surrogate. Surrogate. Yeah.

Suzie: Surrogate, surrogate.

Mel: There is a reality. Yeah. And you're gonna have to make that decision. And I'm not saying that's easy at all. I mean, I get that. But unfortunately, there is a window.

Suzie: Unfortunately, this man is wasting your ******* time. And he's probably not even that good and bad. Do you want me to get real with that?

Mel: Probably.

Suzie: Um.

Mel: And you should have **** a dozen. But that doesn't. That doesn't help.

Suzie: He is a **** a dozen. And you have to just ******* get another **** because, wow, his **** ain't worth it.

Mel: No, it definitely isn't. Obviously.

Suzie: Um, because he doesn't even want you, babe. He doesn't want to have kids. He allowed you to bring up with him for that and you're still ******* him. I'm sorry. I don't want to be mean to this listener, but, like, babes, you deserve better.

Mel: You do.

Suzie: I feel like maybe none of your friends have told you this, but he's never gonna ******* want kids with you. And that's just the ******* reality of it. And we want the best for you.

Mel: I want the best for you. If you are my daughter or my niece or whatever I tell you, I'd actually tell you what to do. Cause I'm not really. I'm not very good at. I get straight to the point. I just say, you know, move on with your life.

Suzie: Move on.

Mel: And you are 41. You're not 71. No, babes, you got a whole life ahead of ya. A couple of my friends had children at 45. They found a husband, you know, found a partner.

Suzie: My mother had me when I was 42. When she was 42, my aunt was 40 something.

Mel: 40.

Suzie: No, you're definitely not done without.

Mel: It's not the issue of that. It's the issue of meeting somebody.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: Blah, blah, blah.

Suzie: That's what you want.

Mel: Like, there's a whole thing I really would say to you. Just don't get in your head about that. Don't get stressed about that. But you have to break away from this man. Yes. You have to meet new men if you want to have children. That's. That is perhaps gonna have to be a separate decision that you take. But please just stop calling this guy. Delete him. Delete him from your phone. That's the best thing to do. Delete him so you can't call him or unfollow him from whatever the. However it is that you contact him. Delete him. Delete. That's Melma Mel's advice. It is.

Suzie: And little Suze's advice is just get your **** wits from someone else.

Mel: Wow.

Suzie: You're welcome.

Mel: Thanks, Susan. And that's that. Really?

Suzie: Yeah, really. If you guys have other advice for this lovely listener, or maybe you've been in the same little situation, what helped you? You let us know at Sharemytruth pod.

Mel: It's not easy.

Suzie: It's not ******* easy. Go to, leave us a little voicemail. Send us a little email like this listener did. Maybe you have your own goddard story that you want to share with us. We love to hear it and we'll talk about it and we'll talk **** about you.

Mel: Maybe you had a happy ending. You were in this and then not happy ending like, you know.

Suzie: Yeah, happy ending. I know what you mean.

Mel: I mean, like, it it. Things were good in the end.

Suzie: I always love a happy ending.

Mel: Yeah, maybe just everything has to descend.

Suzie: Maybe. Maybe the guy is listening and he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I want kids. And she broke up with me and this is the wrong decision anyways. Maybe you're the other part of the story we want to hear from you. You know what I mean?

Mel: Yeah, I do.

Suzie: Alright, well, anyways, that's it for us. We can't wait to hear from you.

Mel: Guys and we'll talk to you later. Talk soon.

Suzie: Sharing my truth pod is so excited to partner with, where the a in vibrator is the number eight. This is an extremely exclusive code where no other podcast has it. If you go to right now, use the code MSV 15. That's MS 15. At, you can now get 15% off anything in store that's any sex toys for you, your partner, your neighbor, your mom. We don't judge. We don't care. Get it now go to the link in our bio, put in the code, and get jiggy with it.

Mel: Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at sharingmytruthpod and leave us a voicemail on our, dot to share your stories and experiences with us. We'll see you 

bottom of page