Suzie: Welcome to Sharing My Truth with Mel and Suzie. The uncensored version where we bear it all.

Mel: We do.

Suzie: 1, 2, 3, 4 and hello, everyone, and welcome back to Sharing MyTruth Pod. You're here with Mo and Susie.

Thanks so much for tuning in with us today.

We're coming at you live from London Town, England,

Mel's Flat.

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Hey, babes.

Mel: Hello, Danny.

Suzie: How are you?

Mel: I'm fabulous. I'm just fabulous.

Suzie: Hey, fellas. I'm getting a little hot, actually, but it's London, so it's weird because it's usually chilly and dab.

Mel: Oh, you're getting hot. I'm getting a little hot.

Suzie: You make me a little hot.

Mel: Yeah, I have that effect on people. Yeah, it's kind of warm at the moment.

Suzie: It's very nice for London.

Mel: It is.

Suzie: Mel and I got here. When did we get here? What day is it?

Mel: We've lost.

Suzie: We got here about two days ago and the jet lag is real. Is real. But we're powering through, getting some sexy little work done.

Mel: We are powering through, figuring it out. Sexy work. Yeah.

Suzie: Having some lovely tea and biscuits.

Mel: Yeah, yeah. Having a cup of tea right now.

Suzie: I've had a crumpet every day.

Mel: You have. It's an addiction.

Suzie: It's so good, though. We come home drunk because it's so good.

Mel: And we tell the listeners we're drunk.

Suzie: Come on. Hey, we're, we. We're working. And then we have to, you know, release that stress and socialize and have good food because London has some of the best food in the world.

And we have to drink because good wine, obvious gin, tonics, OVs.

And then we come home a little.

What do you guys call it here?

Mel: Tipsy.

Suzie: Tipsy. Come here. A little tipsy and that's fine.

Mel: Two sheets to the wind.

Suzie: Two sheets to the wind, as we say. Well, fabulous, darling. Mel, what are we talking about today?

Mel: Well, we're talking about. Because we've had a lot of comments about this on our TikTok, how other women keep women single.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: So like, single women's friends, be they single or not,

basically keep them single.

And so many people on TikTok have commented about a video that we did try and speak properly, which was about,

you know, when men and women go out,

women go and see their friend, they gossip, and they find absolutely everything out. I like to call it chatting.

Obviously, it's a chat chat.

And it's not necessarily bad gossip. That's what men seem to think, but it isn't. But when men go out, it's a different kind of conversation.

And they tend to talk about.

They're not really interested in kind of personal stuff that much where women are.

And I think from the comments on TikTok were that women are all kind of pretty much like evil and mean and mischievous. And that we will. If a friend is single and we kind of want to keep them single because we don't want them to be happy.

Or there's a suggestion there,

or is it that you're vying for the same man and you're going to actively tell this other woman stuff so they don't go for the man that you like type of thing.

And I think that's the feeling.

Suzie: I think that, yeah, there's a. There's a big.

I think what we're seeing now a little bit with women is that we're kind of like. And you know this very well from your generation, right? Where it's like very female empowerment.

You don't need a ******* man. You have to have the best.

Don't worry, babe, you're gonna find the guy who gives you every single little thing you want. Chicks, everything on your fruits. And it's like, that's not reasonable.

That's not.

It's not gonna happen. And so I think we just are keep. We keep telling our friends and ourselves the wrong thing. And that's the actual real problems that women just.

We are like. We hype each other up in the wrong ways. It's like, it's okay if your friend wants to date, you know, maybe someone who you don't believe is her type or her,

I don't know, like, good enough for her in any kind of way. Maybe it's his looks, maybe it doesn't make enough money. And you're like, you could do better than that, babe.

And she's like, well, I like him. But then she's gonna take that advice. Cause that's her friend,

it's gonna eat away at her and it's gonna eat away at her. It's like. And you know, women need to know when to shut the **** up.

Mel: I think they do. I think there's also a difference that if somebody's your friend and your sort of frenemy acquaintance, you call it.

Suzie: Well, men, men have acquaintances and women have frenemies.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Men couldn't be bothered with having fake friends.

Mel: Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think, you know, your real friends, because we also had a lot of comments saying that women aren't happy and men are happy, which is also not true.

If we look at. Actually the statistics say otherwise is that, you know, with your real friends,

most women do not steal their husband's cheat. You know,

that really isn't. There's a, there is a, there's a boy code, a bro code, but there's also a girl code. And that is, you don't do that unless you are a raging *****.

What you do to acquaintances maybe is a different code. Right.

But I think that, yeah, there is this,

there's this, like women don't have a lot of women today. And even in my generation,

their ideals are totally unrealistic and they also have what they want. Like I'll give you an example in the sense that if somebody we've talked about this many times cheats.

So you're in my generation in, you know, in 50s, and let's say it's the husband cheats and you find out and then you're very upset. Then you get together with all your girlfriends, generally involves wine,

and all the girls will go, leave him, he's a *******. Right.

And they'll all pile in on their opinion of the situation.

And their opinion and the women opinion in this situation is absolutely. Under no circumstances do you stay with the man you have to leave. And I would say I probably thought that too.

Right.

But it's actually not helpful because what you should say to your friend is,

look,

I personally, it would be hard for me, however you got, if you don't, if you don't want to go and you think you can work it out, well, that's up to you.

But what happens with women is you listen too much to the friends going, go, go kick him out, blah, blah, blah.

Suzie: Well, right. Like even, like so when you're going. And I mean, I really don't have many of my girlfriends or guy friends right now getting divorced. I know some of them, but I know you obviously know a lot more people who have been divorced,

is that generation a little older. But it's just like,

when you're going through the divorce and typically, like, let's be honest, the woman gets a lot more than the man will. And whether it's to do with, like, the amount of time with she has with the kids, like, whether she has, you know, the woman is going for the divorce and then she has all the childcare and she.

If the man is making more money, which typically sometimes happens, obviously not all the time, but the man is making more money,

then she's going to get spousal support.

And so her friends. And let's say it wasn't even like a cheating thing that happened, right? It was just like they stopped, they fell out of love. They don't want to be together anymore, which happens so much.

And the girlfriends are gonna be like, girl, get everything that you're deserved, right? Like, take the house, take the dog, take the kids, take the money. Like, take every single little thing.

When it's like,

if you don't hate your partner, if you just, like, fell out of love and like, you still want the best for them, why are you doing that in a divorce?

That just doesn't make any sense to me. Like, don't you feel horrible doing that?

Mel: Well, I mean, I think it happens for two reasons. I mean, I've seen it a lot. Like women,

my mom did it to my dad. They. It's the way to attack.

He's betrayed you in her eyes,

and the only way to hurt him is money.

But inevitably, what does actually happen is that that is also partly your money and the money for your children.

So the more you go after that money, the less there is logically.

And just be a bit sensible about it. But I think I would caveat.

The other side of that is often men just go,

well,

you know, a woman supported them and lived with them and raised their children and supported them and allowed this man to go into the workplace. And then for whatever reason,

whether he's cheated or he's not into her or whatever, the marriage stops. And then he's like, you're just supposed to trot off into the sunset and I'll roll in the new one.

But inevitably, if you're not married, you're going to have less. You chop something down the middle, whatever it is,

everyone's got less money and lawyer fees. Don't worry about that.

It's not just women doing it. Men are also not fair. Like, because if you haven't been working as a woman because you've Been supporting your husband and allowing him to go to work.

Cause you're raising the children or looking after the home,

that is working. You're just not making any money. And there are some men, I know many men who are great and who know that and there are men who don't.

And then that gets into all sorts of. That can get,

you know, there can be a lot of problems there.

But I think the thing I think that I've seen,

and I've also sort of waken up to it myself, is this idea that if somebody's marriage is not working or somebody's cheated,

cheating particularly is a big thing. You have to go without, like,

and almost pushing that woman to do that. Even if she's saying,

I don't want to go,

I want to. Like she's venting to her friends, telling them what's happened and she's saying, look, he's cheated, but I don't want to go, I want to work it out.

The friends would actually actively say, no, you have to go,

well,

maybe you have to go personally, like. And I would say that in my situation, if it happened to me, I would, it would be unbearable.

But maybe that couple, that woman, they can work it out.

And it's not for you to judge them because as we know,

cheating happens for all sorts of reasons.

Sometimes. Sorry, sometimes it happens because,

you know, people are really not being very fair and they're not being very responsible or it happens because they're unhappy or there are lots of reasons, but it is up to that couple to figure that out,

right? And if the man can forgive the woman or the woman can forgive the man, it's their business, it's not your business.

And we've even seen it on our comments. Like men going, oh no, if she cheats, you gotta dump her and all this sort of stuff. Well, you can't tell that's that man's.

It's up to him.

Because it could have happened for any number of reasons.

And I'm not saying I could get over it, but maybe you can.

But I do think that women have these ideals, like the sort of, you know, girl card, girl boss. And we all do it in my age group, all the way down to, you know,

much younger women, let's say Gen Z. Cause younger than that, it's not really relevant right now, but they're not, you know, sort of in the dating world. But we sort of push our ideas onto other women.

Like our ideas,

our standards, our opinions. And it's like, well, we think therefore you should think,

and maybe that's where a lot of these comments are coming from. That a woman, a single woman's worst enemy is her friend, her female friend. That her female friend pushes her in the wrong direction.

That maybe she's been on a date with a guy. And then what we do is the date happens and then you analyze every.

Suzie: Element of it, which we do because we love to do that.

Mel: Yeah. And then you weren't there, so you don't really know exactly what happens.

And then you analyze and then you plant the seed of doubt in the girl's, in the single woman's head going, oh, well actually maybe he was, maybe he was this or he was that and oh, he said that, oh yeah, you could be right and blah, blah, blah.

And you know, I find myself doing it like we do it well.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: If someone has to talk too much.

Suzie: If someone has like the appendage isn't quite adequate, let's say,

right? Like maybe just the ***** size is not big enough and that's a complaint. But then everything else is amazing, right?

Or it's like, ugh, you know, I wish she was gonna make,

let's say like a hundred thousand dollars a year. He only makes 60. I don't know, like whatever the appropriate amount for any kind of woman is like. And yes, we'll tell our friends these things because it's like, this is what's important to us and we have to talk it through with people we love who are our friends.

And then we do sort of self sabotage because we also, we want them to say things like you deserve better. We, you know, yes, you deserve the best and we want the best for you and you deserve a guy who's going to be able to like take you here,

take you there, take care of you and what, you know, what about children and like all these things. And it's like, yes, of course everything like that is important if that's important to you.

But yeah, we have to kind of go back and like understand that like not every single great,

great guy out there is gonna have every single little thing on your little checklist.

Mel: Well, yeah.

Suzie: And again, I say go to a 58 man. And they probably have all things. Except for the tallness.

Mel: Except for the tallness, yes.

Yeah. I mean, I think the key is it's your opinion, it's what you want and you need whatever it is, not necessarily what your friend needs. So how about thinking about what your friend is saying and talk to her in the circumstances or whatever it is that she's in that she wants.

That she's looking for.

And rather than sort of pushing these ideals,

these female ideals, which obviously in the last however many decades have become stronger and stronger. Yeah. You know, and we sort of have to be girl power in every situation.

And that's not necessarily the case.

And, you know, just if a woman stays with a man,

let's say they've been married for many, many decades, and he cheats,

and they manage to resolve it. Right. And say, no, I love you. I want to work this out. Cause we have a family and we have finances and we have a life and we have memories and all the rest of it, and we can work it out.

Rather than the girls going. Cheering her,

the ability. Unless he's a complete *******. Like, you know, rather than cheering,

we'd be like,

you know, what are you.

Suzie: Like, you're really gonna go back to him?

Mel: Exactly.

Suzie: He cheated on you.

Mel: Exactly.

Suzie: And you're like, I get that.

Mel: Yeah, we do,

of course. But it's up to that. It's up to that woman to decide. And that woman and man, not you, to force your opinion. And I, in my. For me personally, I always try when people say,

what do you think? Kind of thing. I said, do you really want my opinion?

Because I like to say it is my opinion.

Because there is no doubt that when you're giving an opinion, it's clouded by my version of the world.

Because that's how I see the world.

But,

for example, the male thing, and I know this is what a lot of young men are upset about, is all these women are looking for,

you know, provider, energy,

you know,

tall,

fit,

handsome. I mean, ******* hell, the list goes on and on. Has a house, has the ability to do, like, all these crazy things. Well, that may be important for you,

that may not be important for the next woman. And, you know, I do know couples where, let's say the mother. The woman, sorry. And the mother has been like the breadwinner and the man stays at home.

Now, it's not.

Wouldn't have worked in my relationship, but that. Who am I to say,

you know, if you're happy, yeah, this is wrong.

Suzie: Absolutely.

Mel: If you're happy and the relationship works really well. That is really not for me to say whether it's wrong or right. It's not for me to push.

Suzie: That's not.

Mel: And I do think we as women push those opinions. Or there's some kind of, like, virtue signaling code that you should be abiding by.

You know,

and if you're not, then you're Failing in some way.

Suzie: Well, what do you think?

Mel: So maybe that's what they're talking about.

Suzie: I think,

like, when,

I don't know, like, I feel like men,

obviously, we know and we've seen from our comments obviously on TikTok Instagram as well,

that men don't talk to each other. Right. They literally go out to be brainless. In a good way. Guys, like, I'm not being mean about this. Like, you guys want to just go out, hang with your friends, don't talk about any bad things, because you don't want to talk about that.

Like, unless, like, I don't know, something, like you really need your friend's opinion or something. But like, you typically want to go out and you want to watch sports and you want to just do nothing and talk about literally nothing.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And that's fully okay.

But what if a man is going through a divorce,

a problem, his wife cheated on him,

like, do you think that he is going to tell his buddies and be like, hey, I'm going through a really ******* hard time right now? Like, what do I do?

And then what do the guys say to that? Like, do they even, like, are they the ones who like, are like, well, she's showing you, man. Like, don't, like, get the **** out of there.

Like, do you think it's the same thing?

Mel: I mean, I think a lot of men say that. Cause if a woman cheats, that's it. You know, it's like you use all sorts of horrible expressions that I don't really wanna repeat.

But yeah, I do think that. But I think maybe the difference is that women talk about everything all the time and wanna know every part of your life to know you as a person.

And men could literally know you for 10 years and not know you have three children or what day your birthday is, or that you have a mother and father or even what country you're from.

I mean, like, they could actually not know any these pieces of information.

And their wife is who?

You know, like.

Or, oh, you know, so and so you'll say a comment, you know, she's got blonde hair and you're like, she has. Or she's got brown eyes. Has she? You couldn't tell you anything.

But, you know, that is the way their brain works. I suppose because they're prior,

they're able.

Suzie: To shut things off way easier than us.

Mel: Well, for them, they're prioritizing what's important.

But I think, yeah to that. Whereas.

And I think that's the thing is we think and we had this comment where I said on a video, inane rubbish. And I got lots of grief for it about.

Men talk about inane **** when they go out.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: And it is a name to me talking endlessly about the lineup of a football team or, you know, who we're selling, who we're buying. And you.

Oh, my God.

Suzie: I find it very hard, guys like.

Mel: To understand what is.

Suzie: And we, me and Mel will never understand this. I'm just going to ask this question into the universe and never actually get an answer. But like,

I am seeing this guy right now and he's so great.

He's very sporty, though, which I'm not sporty. I'm a cheerleader in that kind of sense. Not sporty.

But the conversations his buddies are calling him about a fantasy. I just want to bold in that word. It's a fantasy football.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Or a hot. Whatever the. Whatever the sport is. I'm like,

this is how much time and energy you're putting into this.

Your fantasy league. I'm like. And I'm not like, I'm not like, judging him on it. It's more just like a. I cannot believe this is what men care about and this is what you're calling each other about.

Mel: Yeah. They'll spend hours.

Suzie: Women want to talk about life and their careers and the men and what's going on in their lives. Men literally want to talk about fantasy leagues.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Literally. What's not going on.

Mel: Yeah. Like, my husband's like, big soccer fan.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And he'll like his friends, buddies who are into soccer. I have to say, I should be saying soccer because I'm in England, but it's soccer.

Suzie: I'm going to the football game with him.

Mel: Yeah, you are.

You know, and it's a huge thing. And he loves football and he'll talk with his friends. They'll have this whole conversation, so and so's, you know, done this. Behave this way or bad game, he wasn't playing.

Or he's being. What do they call it? Like, traded or whatever, sold or whatever. And they're talking about it as if they have any control over this.

Suzie: Like they're going to get a call.

Mel: From the team in any way have any,

like, possibility of. Of this. Of. Of swaying this or, or. Or they. Or they share in any of the riches of this situation or anything. And to me, it's. It's hilarious.

But then I guess they look at us and that's obviously what we're seeing. They're like, so let me get this straight. You Go out with a girlfriend and you sort of meet her at 6 and you leave at 12 and you just talk about all the inane **** in their life that I couldn't give a **** about,

which is what they're saying, but I do give a **** about.

And that's the difference between men and women is I suppose they're talking about these conversations for it to be light because their life is for the most part heavy, full of lots of responsibility,

taking all these things on,

maybe providing for families and wives and other family members.

And so when they talk to somebody, they want it to be fun. They don't want to be like in the doom and gloom of going down the hole.

Suzie: Yeah, I like.

Mel: Which they have a point.

Suzie: I suppose that's probably also fair. Like, you know how I mean, me and you, because we're very girly and we like feminine things. Like,

we will probably sit for hours and we, when we go shopping and stuff like that together, like, we will literally go shopping. And like, this is our.

Mel: Like we spent four hours exactly.

Suzie: Like, this is our fantasy.

Legal most. It's like, it's like skin care, which doesn't. Like, it's the fantasy that it's gonna make us look younger and better and hotter and sexier and whatever. It's the clothes that are gonna make.

Mel: Us look the best.

Suzie: It's obsessive about a fantasy. Sort of. This is our fantasy and this is fun. And that's their fun.

Mel: And it's fun. It's like when I go shopping,

I like going shopping alone or I go shopping with a friend who like. You like shopping? Yes, like friends who don't like shopping.

Suzie: Oh, it's the worst to go with a friend who doesn't like shopping.

Mel: Sometimes I'm the friend who they don't like shopping and they like coming with me because I like shopping.

But I love it. Like, I don't always love all the stress reliever. But you know, I go into stores and for my husband, it's like I am in hell. Yes,

I know. And like stores like Sephora, we don't me, my daughters. We don't even bring him in the store. We make sure there is a. If he's. We're out with him, there's a seat outside or there's a bar nearby and he's fine.

And that's actually my thing. I'll just say come back and whatever and he'll go and have a drink, go and have a sit and he's fine. But do not bring that man.

I See men traipsing around Sephora. I'm like, what are you thinking?

Suzie: I have actually brought in my ex would come in with me, and he was actually great. Cause I've gotten him sort of into, like, good men's skincare,

and he's got great skin. And, like, I actually, like, love going in there. I don't actually love going in there with a guy, but it's cute, I think,

when the guy wants to, like, come with you,

I think it's adorable. And then they pay the bill, and it's excellent.

Mel: I do think it's funny.

Suzie: It's like $400.

Mel: Yeah, that's. That's like three things. I think if they want to come in, fine. Don't make them.

Suzie: No, no. Yeah.

Mel: Well, like, in Toronto, you see, one of the big brands here is Aritzia, for anybody who's not a Canadian listener. And Ritzia are really smart because right in front of the changing rooms, they have these huge kind of sofas.

Suzie: And you see video games, too, sometimes.

Mel: Yeah, they do. Yeah. And they just have. You see these men all just splayed all over the. And it's very smart. And they have a cafe as well, and some of them.

And, you know, I think that's great. Just, you know, keep them busy.

Suzie: But I actually told my brother the advice because he's married now, and he was like, oh, yeah.

My now wife, like, takes. Will take me out to, like, go shopping with her. And he couldn't give less of a **** than Jim. I've been shopping with him, and, like, I've taken him out, and, like, we have fun, obviously, but, like, he could care less.

You know, Someone has to, like, take him around. If he needs something, he'll.

Mel: Yeah, yeah.

Suzie: You know,

but she. She likes to shop. She's like, me. And, like,

she'll take him around. And he's like, oh, my God, I can't do it. I was like, yeah. And I'm like, oh, well, Mel will literally put her husband in a bar, and he's super fudgeing happy when she comes back.

And, like, doesn't matter at all. It's like the perfect situation.

And he's like, oh, yeah, that's a good idea. Maybe she should. Maybe she could do that. Like, maybe I'll talk to her. And I was like, no, this.

It literally is so smart. You pop them in a nice bar, they have a TV in front of them or whatever it is. They get a beer.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Have some food. I mean, fill that belly.

Mel: This will make you Laugh. Because this will show you how I really am.

You know, on this is.

We sometimes travel quite a lot to Miami, and there's a store I like to go to. It's like a.

It's,

you know, like a sort of outlet store.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And so it has all this designer stuff that's less. And the only bar nearby is Hooters.

No.

Yeah. So I put him in Hooters.

And.

And I go shop.

Suzie: And you're like, bye, girls. Give the girls a hundred. Just be like, it's fine. Get yourself some of the nice ladies.

Take care of my boy. That is so good.

Mel: The only bar is Hooters,

unfortunately. I'm sorry about. We won't mention the box. I don't want to be offensive, but the. The not so attractive Hooteries in this. Hootie. Hoots.

Suzie: Hooters bar in the Hooty. Hoot. Hooties. Got it.

Mel: But I just leave him there, and he's just. He's happy as a clam. And he sits at the bar and he has his beers, and, you know, fine. If you're looking at some bazooms, fine.

And I just go and do my thing, and then I come back and everyone's happy. Love that. But don't make him come into your thing. I have. There's another shop, a place I go to in London.

And if he comes and I figured this out. This is a bar which has his favorite Spanish beer.

And I was like.

And if I go with my daughters. I was telling you this the other day. We just put him in the bar.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: He's so happy.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And then we go off. And then the great thing is we come back and he's like, you've got 400 bads. I don't care. I don't care how much you've got. I've had a couple of beers.

I'm. I'm fine.

Oh.

Suzie: So we have gone a little off track.

Mel: We've gone completely off track.

Suzie: But you know what? It all is relevant because men and women are very different. And this is what we're talking about.

Mel: And I would like to say that's a great thing. That's what we are trying to say in this pod.

People keep coming back at the comments. And, like, FYI, we know.

And the point we're trying to say generically in every single episode is that women aren't the best. Men aren't the best.

Women aren't the problem. Men aren't the problem.

We're both different. We're actually equally the Problem.

But it's not a little bit. But we're different and we're not the same and we'll never be the same. And yes, I agree. Part of the modern world is we've tried to make men and women the same.

Yeah. And that's part of the problem. And we aren't the same. We think differently. We look at every situation differently, professionally, personally, emotionally.

And we need to get back to that somehow.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And if we get back to that, we might be okay.

Suzie: But I don't know if it's like,

like this. The reason that women talk to other women about our problems is because men, for the most part,

don't want to talk to us about our problems. Right.

Mel: And so draining.

Suzie: And then many men in our comments are like, I don't want to ****. Because we did a whole episode on this. I don't want to hear about a woman's crazy drama that's going on in her life.

And it's like, okay. But then you have to be okay with the fact that she's going to also be talking **** to her friends about this stuff that you refuse to talk to her about.

Mel: Yeah. Well, and she gotta talk to somebody.

Suzie: She's gotta talk to somebody. And sometimes, guys, it's actually.

I know this isn't all the time and women don't always want logical advice,

but sometimes if you just think critically with her and like, help ask her questions about her situation and like, maybe she does just want to vent, you know, and we all need to vent sometimes.

But it's so nice when you have a guy who's like wanting to listen and then it'll be so much better for you.

Mel: Oh, yeah.

Suzie: When.

When she actually, like, needs to have to come to you for a problem or she's not going to her friends who are giving her bad advice.

Because we all have that friend who 1. We all have two friends. I feel like as a girl group,

you have that friend that use not good with something. Either it's money or men or work. And they are always. They always have drama.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: I think typically there's always that one friend in every.

In every girl group. Then you have the friend that is always going to be honest about what's going on. And those women don't actually usually have a lot of girlfriends because those girls.

Mel: Women don't like it.

Suzie: Women don't like to hear the truth.

Mel: No.

Suzie: Which is somewhat fair.

But that's just the way it is.

And so it's tough. Like women,

we have to kind of play the Field a little bit on our friends. So we still have friends and we can't be super honest. And we want women to feel good about themselves.

We just. It's. It's hard to. It's hard to balance that. So it's nice to have a logical guy in there being. Not being rude about our friends or, like, being like, this is stupid.

I can't believe you guys are doing this. You guys like ******* fantasy football.

Listen to our ******* problems for one second, and I think you can handle it.

Mel: I mean, that's a very good point. Or even, you know, this thing, like in the comments, men saying, we're miserable and they're happy. It's not true. I mean, as we know, the suicide rates in men are extremely high.

Suzie: Yeah, it's so sad because men don't talk to each other.

Mel: Because they don't talk.

And they keep this stuff bottled up because they think if they talk about it, it's weak. And they push it down. Push it, push it, push it down. And then, you know, it explodes.

Suzie: And we get it because there are very. A lot. There's a huge. What is it? What's the word?

Mel: Huge.

Suzie: Symptom. Not symptom. The huge. If I can think about it.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie: I can't think about it. Okay. But like,

like, there is the,

like the way that other men think about it.

They sometimes do have.

What is the word? It's gonna **** me off. Like,

how men think about it to their other friends. They sometimes are like, dude, like, are you okay? Like, you are weak. And they're gonna make. You're afraid that they're gonna make fun of you, right?

Because that's what men do.

But, like, you know then.

And you're afraid to look weak in front of your woman, so you don't want to tell her about your problems. So then what is a man supposed to do?

Mel: I think that's, from my perspective of what I've seen, that's exactly it.

That men.

Men do not like men who are weak.

They seek them out. And if you're a strong man, they sort of keep badgering them. Like, they don't like weak men. Men like other strong men. And you can see that in friend groups, like, the weak man just gets tortured.

Cause they're like, how can you be weak? How can you be so weak?

You know? And they also.

Suzie: It's kind of a. It is a good thing and a bad thing. Like,

I think men, in a way, they're like. They seek out the weak guy, and then they're like, they try to. It's what men do. They bring him up. They try to bring him up in.

Mel: A way sometimes, but. Well, it's.

Suzie: I mean, it's ****** up when they. The weak man. The weak man can't handle that. That's when.

Mel: That's right. I think that's the problem. Yeah, you're like. You're a man. Like, man up. Yeah. Like, you know, grow a set of balls, basically. But I. And I. And I understand that.

But I think the other thing that we are starting to see a lot of comments about, and I definitely agree with, is one of the reasons men don't talk to women is cause women expect them to be strong.

So the women want to just give them their problems. And the idea is the man is there and he's strong and he's the rock and he's fine. But if he shows that he has problems, mental health problems, or he has issues or he's scared or whatever it is, then if you are meant to be the protector,

provider, whatever you want to call it,

and you show that to the woman and then she's gonna freak out and make her even more freaked out. So I think a lot of men don't do it for that very reason,

because they're like, well, I can't tell her what's really going on. Cause she's already freaked out. This is gonna ******* freak her out.

And that's not very fair. But that is a male, female thing.

Suzie: So who are they supposed to talk to?

Mel: Well, the only. I. I do think a therapist. That's not gonna happen.

Suzie: It's so good to see. I'm just gonna. I know, I know, but they might. If guys, if you. This is you. And you feel like you can't talk to anyone, go just.

Mel: Oh, I agree.

Suzie: Therapists aren't that expensive. If they're like, you know, you can find a therapist anyways. That's just like, go see a therapist.

Mel: I think that's very hard for.

For most people to even get to that. But let alone men,

men don't even go to the doctor, let alone a therapist.

But I do think that men who have strong friend groups that have other male friends of their age and have had them throughout their life and then sort of various friend groups,

they tend to do really well. Because it's really important, I think, for men to have other male friends and women to have female friends. And I think that when the **** is really bad, maybe that's the difference.

I think when it's really serious, really ******* serious,

if those male friends are close,

they will double down,

intervene, there's an intervention, and they'll. They'll do something, right? And whereas women, we're doing that for everything,

you know, like, not like, you know, and that's the difference. But I think when it's really bad and they see a friend really suffering, really in pain, with real problems, they are there for them and they do something.

Suzie: I just think.

Mel: Does that matter of talk?

Generally not. But I do think they do. They do talk and they definitely. It's been said in our comments and by the way, I'm not completely stupid, is that men talk to each other about things they don't want women to hear and.

Yeah, of course they do.

Of course they do. Women do the same thing. I mean, come on, huh?

Suzie: You know, who else am I gonna talk to? Well, ****.

Mel: Exactly. But.

Suzie: But that's so sad. It has to get to that point.

Mel: Oh, yeah,

I think so. Like from. From. Again.

Again. From what I've seen. From what I've seen, it has to get extremely,

extremely bad and, you know, to be able to be vulnerable. Cause I think that's something that men find hard is understanding the difference between weakness and vulnerability.

And they're two different things.

And allowing yourself to be vulnerable,

to be understood is not a weakness.

Weakness is something different.

And I think that's tough. And I think we live in a world which is increasingly difficult, increasingly difficult to navigate relationships, navigate work,

navigate everything. And so you hold it all,

all in, right? Until it really is a crisis.

Suzie: Right. And so,

yes, yes, I do see, I understand. Cause I also see it with my own two eyes when I'm. Cause I'm in the dating world and women can be super toxic with each other,

especially because we can get jealous and envious and just.

It's. Yeah, we. We also, I think as a society too, not just women, we love to see when someone falls.

Mel: It's the mean girl thing.

Suzie: It's such a mean girl thing. They made a whole ******* movie about it, right? Like these, like, women are ******* mean. And like, if,

you know, if the hot girl is, you know,

I don't know, like, getting cheated on or she. Something horrible happens to, like, the hot one. It's like, okay, well, let's just like, let's see what else we can kind of silently cheer.

Silently cheer for it. And it's so sick. And like the fact that, like, you know, oh, like, what can we do to make this kind of worse? But, like, not say that to her face kind of thing.

Like, oh, you have to leave him. Oh, like, you know,

I don't know, like, you cheat on him back. Like, we'll do these maybe, like toxic things to kind of feed the fire a little bit.

Mel: Oh, yeah. Which is like the seeds of.

Suzie: So gross.

Mel: Yeah. Because you think you need them to fail a little bit in their life to make you feel.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: Succeeding in your life. Which is not the way it works. It's a bit like, you know, all those, like, magazines, like Chat magazine, you know, whatever they're called, like here in the UK is like sort of Heat or Closer, all these crappy magazines.

Suzie: And like, those are our favorite magazines, Mel.

Mel: Yeah. What are they? Like USA Today?

Suzie: Sure.

Mel: People. I peak people, whatever it is. I don't know.

And,

you know, there's always a picture of a celebrity on a beach and everyone's just looking like, does she have cellulite? You know, and like, if it's like some really skinny, you know, sort of Margot Robbie type, you're like.

And you see cellulite. You're like, yes. You know, so disgusting. And it's disgusting because it's like, just by her having said cellulite doesn't make you better.

It just makes her have cellulite.

Suzie: And she's still ******* Margot Robbie.

Mel: I know, exactly. But it's just absurd, right? Like, you see, if your friend is failing or your friend husband isn't doing as well as your husband or whatever it is, it doesn't mean your life is better.

Like this little cheer. And we all do it and it's horrible trait. Horrible trait. And we've said that in previous episodes. And I don't,

from my viewpoint, from what I observe of men,

you know,

And I guess I should caveat this because people are like, you know, they keep saying, oh, what do you know about men? And blah, blah. And I know I'm not a man, clearly, I'm a woman, but, you know, thank God.

Yeah, exactly. I've been married to for a long time and my husband is one of those kind of guys who has.

You've seen it, you know, he has tons of friends and he goes out with people and he's very social,

personally and professionally.

So he sees people all the time. He has to for his work.

And so I see all these different kinds of characters and they're always men. It's never women, because in that kind of working world, there's no women.

And so I see it and it's just interesting.

Suzie: And you know what he's so good at, though, is,

which is like something I really admire about, like, your relationship with him. It's like, he is.

He obviously, like, I remember, like, you know, he'll come home from a game with one of his buddies and like, he, you know, you'll be like, oh, what are you talking about?

And he'll be like, literally nothing. What are you talking about? And then. But when I'm there, he is so good at, like, being like, tell me all the gossip. Like, blah, blah, blah, blah, like, he gets.

And who knows if he actually ******* cares.

But the fact that he is, like, putting the effort in to, like, want to care about you. And whether he's listening or not, it's just the fact that he's asking is so nice.

And, like, you can see that that makes a huge difference with your relationship with him. And like, that's. I think with. I think women would do a lot better with their relationships with their partners, their male partners, if the man just ******* asked them a question.

Be interested about the, like, their friends or their. Any, like, literally anything.

Mel: I mean, does it with our children as well. Just be interested. Even if you're. I don't care what it is. Even if you actually don't just show it makes a huge difference.

Suzie: I know it sounds stupid.

Mel: Oh, I know.

Suzie: Because you. I know you probably don't care for everything, but it's very sweet and it does make a difference. And like, I don't care if he actually cares. It's the fact that he is doing, like, it's very sweet.

Mel: It is.

Suzie: And you can tell, like. And yeah, that would be my advice to you, to the gentleman out there listening,

if you are having a problem like this with your woman, like, maybe she's like, you're not listening to me. You don't care. Like, all these things. She's talking to her girlfriends too much.

Like, all this stuff and you feel kind of left out. And you're like, why?

Like,

just pretend to care.

Mel: Yeah. Or like. Or you feel like you have issues in your relationship and she's not talking to you and she's told all her friends everything. Right. Every.

Suzie: And then you're like, where did this come from?

Mel: Yeah. And then you're like, well, then your friends know everything about me and they shouldn't know any. Well, then talk to her. Then she won't maybe go and talk to everybody else about you.

Suzie: Yeah, exactly.

Mel: Because it's gotta come out somewhere.

Suzie: It's coming out, you know, so it.

Mel: Might as well make it be more with you.

Suzie: I think with. Also when men ask women more questions, the more that woman wants to suck a little ****.

Mel: Thank you for bringing back to reality, but I think you're absolutely true. You're absolutely right that. That it's just the way it is. The more interested you are in a female.

Like, you know, let's say a female's planning an event or something,

and you don't give a flying **** what color the flowers are, what you're wearing.

Show interest.

Yes. And it will transform the situation if.

Suzie: She wants you to be interested. There's some women who are control freaks and docs who don't want her.

Mel: Yeah. But even if she's controlling it, still show interest.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: If she's talking to you about the napkins and the flowers and you literally want to, you know, take those flowers and gouge your eyes out, still show interest.

Suzie: And even if you don't care at all, just show appreciation. Like you did.

Mel: Yeah. Oh, my God.

Suzie: Thank you so much for taking care of this. I'm so excited, even if you aren't.

Mel: And I would say the other way to females. Like, if they're talking about their fantasy football or men want to play golf or go to football,

let them go.

Suzie: Oh, my God. Let them go. Let the boys go golfing.

Mel: Just let them go.

Suzie: Go get out of the house.

Mel: And they're generally with other men. So what are you worried about?

Suzie: And the cooler the women are with their men doing stuff.

Mel: Oh, yeah.

Suzie: The less these men want to cheat on them.

Mel: Yes. And I. Another sub. There's nothing to do with it's. But my final point.

Suzie: Let's go.

Mel: Is if somebody is going to cheat,

male or female, they are going to do it, and they are going to figure it out. Whether you are controlling,

reading text, looking at ****, not letting them go, not whatever it's gonna happen.

So back the off.

Suzie: Is that good? I think that wraps it up pretty.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: She's so proud of herself.

All right, guys. Well, we wanted to hear what you guys thought about this episode. You guys can go to Share My Truth Pod, where you can see any of these little clippy videos from our episodes and you can DM us there.

Or you can go to Share My Truth Dot com, where you can also listen to our episodes, but you can also email us your truths and we'll catch you next time.

Mel: Bye.

Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at Sharing My Truth Pod and leave us a voicemail on our website sharingmytruth.com to share your stories and experiences with us.

We'll see you next time. Bye.

Suzie: Bye. Three, two, one. Sam.