Suzie: Welcome to Sharing My Truth with Mel and Susie. The uncensored version where we bear it all.

Mel: We do.

Suzie: 1, 2, 3, 4,

and hello, everyone, and welcome back to Sharing My Truth Pod. You're here with Mel and Susie. We are so excited to be joined by you guys today. It don't forget to subscribe to this podcast.

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Hey, babes.

Mel: Hello, darling.

Suzie: Darling, how are you?

Mel: I'm Tyler. I'm in the frozen north, but thankfully the polar vortex has left us.

Suzie: Oh, my God. I'm not excited to be coming back right now. Mel and I are in separate places, which is extremely upsetting.

We usually see each other every single week, so. It's been such a long time since I've seen you, babe. It's been like four weeks.

Mel: Yeah, it's been a while. I know.

Suzie: And I miss you a lot, even though I am. I wish you were coming here instead of me going back there because here is very hot.

Mel: I know. I get it. It's. It's. Yeah. I have nothing to say. It's ****.

Suzie: Yeah. I got really burnt yesterday and, like, my. My chesticles and my testicles are not doing well.

Mel: So I know I've already told you off about this because when you get to my old age, you're gonna have a burnt check and it's not good. It gives you wrinkles.

Everyone out there get SPF 50 on. It gives you wrinkles. Don't do it.

Suzie: I already have wrinkles and it's really gross.

Mel: And you'll have patches too, and then you'll have to get them lasered off. And it costs lots of money, so don't do that.

Suzie: Hopefully I'll have a nice sugar daddy by then and I'll use his Anyways. Mel, what are we chatting about today?

Mel: Well, we're chatting about,

bizarrely, a subject I don't think we've spoken about, which I think is kind of strange, is what people hide from their spouse, their spouses or their partners.

Like. Like,

it's just so many things. Like, we all think, oh, it's just money, or that you've spent or, you know, affairs or whatever.

But there are so many ridiculous things. People hide and they hide like before when they start and they continue hiding.

And what is so interesting to me is if this stuff was found out. That's it. Your relationship is. **** it, you know, it's done and dusted. And there are so many things that people hide.

Apparently they are not truthful. And this is a place for sharing truths. And that's why I think we should bring it up.

Suzie: Well, it is funny, like. Cause little white lies we all tell in relationships, do we not? You have to, of course. You don't want to hurt the other person's feelings for no reason and you want to keep it.

Kind of like if it's not important to tell,

then you don't say anything.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: You got to hide it. But you know, to your point, there's some things that would ruin relationships if it would just come out.

Mel: Yeah, there's honesty and there's honesty. You know, I mean,

there really is. There are levels of it. I mean, look, like we don't have to, you know, talk about how much that handbag cost all the time. Do we really?

Suzie: Or.

Mel: Or whatever.

I don't. I just. I think, yeah. I mean, it's the big things. It's. It's like I always say this. It's the big things. It's the same with compromise in a relationship.

Compromise on the little things, not the big things that are life changing. It's the same, you know, you shouldn't be lying. And also, it's exhausting.

You can't remember what you've lied about. No,

it's one thing.

And people lie about all sorts of ****. They lie about, like, women, I find this so funny. Who will lie to their husbands like they haven't had Botox or they haven't had, you know, a **** job or they haven't had this.

And I'm like, are these men stupid? Are they blind?

Suzie: No, but they are. They are kind of stupid. Like, I've seen men literally being like, oh, my God, this girl's so hot. And like, I see the photo or something and I'm like, that girl has a filter on.

A filter on. Like, are you seriously not computing that? This, this is not how this person looks. But like, no shame in the game, girls. But I'm like, men, step up your *******.

Like, you guys have to be aware of such things, you know,

Step up your *******.

Mel: What does that even mean? What does it mean?

Suzie: It means just like, step it up.

Mel: Step. Oh. Oh.

But like, women who'll lie about, you know, silly things like hair extensions or eyelashes, and men actually think it's their hair and their,

you know,

lashes and so you Know, then they have to go through this whole rigmarole of kind of getting undressed or whatever in a different place. I mean, just bizarre, isn't it?

Suzie: Well, yeah. Have you seen the beginning, like, of that really funny show, like, Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Did you watch it?

Mel: Yeah. This is such a good show. But she wakes up.

Suzie: Yes. So she, like, goes to bed really ugly. And then, like. Like before her husband, like when her husband's asleep. And then, like, wakes up even before him, makes herself perfect before he even wakes up.

And he still cheats on her.

Mel: Right, right, right. So he never sees her in her natural state. Yes, Kind of. With her curlers in with the face mask on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think. Yeah. I have seen.

I haven't seen the show, but I have seen that clip. But it's like. It's just we do these stupid things.

Suzie: For hiding stuff where it's like, we don't have to do that. We shouldn't have to do that.

Mel: Yeah. I mean, I think people hide lots of things, like. Yeah, like that. And that's just pointless. I mean, you can't be with somebody for decades and, like, not go to the toilet in front of them or not fart in front of them or them not.

See. I mean, come on, you know, um. But.

But I understand at the beginning you want to be, you know, a bit of mystery. And then you say, no, I don't.

Suzie: Know what you're talking about. I don't fart.

Mel: You don't fart?

Suzie: No, I don't.

Mel: You probably don't, actually.

I know you are. I know you are.

But I think there are obviously things that, you know, big things that people lie about, obviously. Affairs that we've talked about many times,

what they're doing, who they're seeing,

and they hide that. And then there are layers and layers and layers of things that they're hiding.

And then there's money. And a lot of people lie about money and what they're spending. And actually, it's a question. I get a lot from people about money and how you deal with that in a relationship.

Maybe we should do a pod about that. But people hide, like, the debt they're in while they're in the ****** relationship.

Suzie: Oh, my God. Like.

Mel: Like. Like what?

You know, or the money they're spending or.

Yeah, and obviously that has really serious ramifications. That's not, you know, that's not something you should be hiding, is it?

Suzie: No. I mean. And people hide who they've slept with, even if it's like, not like they've cheated, but like, maybe like previously they slept with your best friend and then they don't tell you about it, and the best friend doesn't tell you what.

Mel: That is or something like that. And.

Yeah, and while we were doing the research for the episode, we came across a great source of information. BuzzFeed,

and this article about how. What are the kind of major things that people hide? 15 secrets people are hiding from partners and why is it not finding it. That's great.

Can't find it. I'm gonna go to my.

Suzie: You just send it to me.

Mel: I know, but I went anyway. I found it. So. I think there are 15 here. And some of these are, like, ridiculous. Like, I scratched your car and I didn't tell you.

I mean, like. Okay, whatever.

I think the thing that seems to come up a little bit too much is I've slept with your mother or your. Yes.

Suzie: What the hell is going on? Who is sleeping with your mom and then sleeping with you and then not telling you, and then mom does. Not telling you, like, what the **** is.

Mel: And then I'm hiding it. So. So one here.

I. I've slept with her new stepmother in the past. Some things we just gotta take to the grave.

I. I don't think you should take that to the grave because. Well, maybe you should. Should. You shouldn't you. And there's another one where the. The guy said.

What did he say? That he slept with the mother. Right.

Suzie: Yeah. Like. Like, how is this happening? Is this just like, so too much of like the Graduate where It's just like Mrs. Robinson.

Mel: Y.

Suzie: And it's like, how old are you? That you're her mom, and yet she's gonna.

Mel: You.

Suzie: But she doesn't know that you. Her mom.

Mel: Like, what?

Suzie: Yeah, like your sister, your cousins.

Mel: Yeah. And you think. I mean, I. I do think. If you're. I mean, your mom, I suppose is a little tricky. I mean, especially if your mum's married. That's another level.

Suzie: Oh, my God.

Mel: To your dad, in other words. But if you know, you did sleep with the sister or the cousin or whatever in a. Let's say, a respectable interval, like in the past,

I don't see why that's a big deal. I mean, okay, maybe you would prefer that that was not the case.

But you're an adult. We all have lives. We've all done stuff. How the hell are you supposed to know when you meet that person that then you're gonna meet this person?

And I think it's much. It's probably in that case, just. I mean, come on, really, is it a big deal? Much better to be honest about it, because, I mean, God forbid any kind of situation happened and then you hadn't told a story.

It's a million times worse. So I just think,

if there's nothing there anymore, why is it a big deal?

Suzie: I don't know. And it's very weird.

Mel: And you shouldn't be with the sister, should you? You should be with the other sister.

Suzie: It's, like, so bad.

Mel: I think there are really funny things. Like this one is.

And this is something I also get asked about a lot. And this woman says, I take a secret day of pto. Which I had to ask what that meant. Personal.

What is it?

Suzie: It's a paid day off. Like a paid.

Mel: Paid off?

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Once every few months, where she gets dressed, she leaves the house. She basically leaves the house as if she's going to work and pretends to her boyfriend that she's going to work, who works from home.

Oh, no, he doesn't work. That's even worse. Which is even worse. Yeah, which is even worse. And she goes out and kind of has a manicure and has lunch by herself and goes shopping and does her thing, but pretend she's at work so that she gets some time to herself because he's at home.

So if she had the day off, she'd have to spend it with him. Now, on many levels,

this is not good.

Suzie: This is so ****** up, to be honest. On, like, most levels, yeah.

Mel: This is very bad in the sense that you have a day off and you don't want to spend it with your significant other is problematic.

And if you wanted to have a day off where you did, you want to have your manicure and your shopping and your whatever the hell it is you want to do.

I mean,

why would that be a problem? Telling somebody, like, it's funny because I had this situation recently where I have friends of mine who will say, you know, I'll say, let's go for dinner.

And I'll. If I want to go for dinner, I just. I just say, let's go for dinner. I'm the one who has the social calendar, so I know nothing's happening.

So I'm like, great, go out on Friday. I don't go and ask my husband and say, would it be okay if I went out for dinner on Friday?

Suzie: That's insane to me.

Mel: I just go out for dinner on Friday and then I just tell him. I mean, that's it. And he does the same thing. I Mean, obviously we know if there's something major going on and you're not gonna, you know, you're not gonna book.

And he normally has to check with me because he doesn't put any social events in his calendar. So he has no idea what's going on. So he has to ask me.

I, of course, don't have to ask him. But I know people who will, you know, they'll ask their, their spouse or their partner. What do you, Is it okay if I go out?

Would you prefer if I went out on Thursday or Friday or Saturday or Sunday or whatever? And I know lots of people do that and I think it's quite common.

And I find, and men and women, and I find that bizarre. And I find it also bizarre people who like, let's say like last night you went out, right? So let's say you went out with your girlfriends.

Then the boyfriend or the husband says, well, I need to also have a night. Why do you have to have a matching night? Who gives a ****?

Suzie: Also just do it when you want to go out. Like, who literally ******* cares?

Mel: And if you want, like if I obviously go for a manicure or my hair or whatever, yeah, I just book it. I don't check with my partner. I don't say, by the way, I'm going to be at the hairdresser for five hours on a personal time off day or whatever the hell is paid time off day.

You know, I'm just in the hairdresser. That's it. You know, So I think on many levels that's a real problem. Like you should want to spend time with your boyfriend and the days that you don't, fine,

just say, I've got to have my hair done or my nails done or I whatever. What's the big deal?

Suzie: No, the fact that, like, you feel like you have to lie to your significant other about like wanting time for yourself, that's what's crazy.

Mel: It's problematic. Hugely problematic. I think that is actually very, very common one. I think it's very common because people get.

And you know, I know people are going to come for me. But I think, you know, and it's in this buzzfeed article and I think they're right. It is often men,

they don't like their women doing stuff without them. And my advice to you,

listen to the old gal here is you shouldn't be with that man.

Suzie: No, for sure.

Mel: Why would you be with a man who's like that? I mean, he should trust you implicitly. I mean, I've Told you in the past, the amount of people have asked me, you know, do I trust my, you know, husband?

I'm like, of course I trust him. I mean, what is the point if I don't trust him, right?

So on many levels, that's problematic. But people hide the craziest **** well.

Suzie: So this one where it's a girl talking and she's like, me and my boyfriend have been together for five years. We have sex regularly and have. And I have never came.

Not once, not ever. I've been faking it for five years and many more to come.

That is a secret that I will die with. And I'm like, what is wrong with you? Why are you keeping the secret of you've never come with your boyfriend while you're having sex?

How could you keep that as a secret? Like, you're just hurting yourself. Why are you doing that?

Mel: Oh, my.

Suzie: Trying to protect his feelings. What the **** are you doing? Makes me so mad.

Mel: But I think that's. Yeah, but I think that's where the, the, the kind of disconnect is. Like, lots of people, particularly in sex, think if you're going to share something,

it's. It's about the other person. And it isn't necessarily. It's about a lot of different things. In fact, there was,

I'm now going to quote, another podcast, but it's okay, because she's humongous. What does she call? Call her daddy. Call my dad. Whose daddy does she call? She called my dad.

Whatever. Anyway, Amy Schumer was on it the other day, and she said that she has never had an orgasm from penetrative sex with anybody ever.

And which is very, very common, as we've talked about. But I mean, imagine if she didn't share that with the person he was with. Like, I cannot. It doesn't work for me.

Which is very common for women. And if you are a grown *** man, you should know that. But imagine if she didn't share that. So she'd have to go through this whole rigmarole and then sort of go off and deal with herself.

It's just like, that's ridiculous.

You know? But I think a lot of people are not very evolved, Susie.

Suzie: Well, also, because once you get to this point of faking it so so much.

Mel: Yeah, because.

Suzie: And then it's like, obviously it's your problem. Like, it's not them anymore, because you're the one who hasn't been honest about what you need in the sexual relationship. So now it's your problem of like, okay, Now I have to like, try to make myself calm, even though, like.

And then he'll be like, what are you doing? Like, am I not good enough? Because you're making this such a big thing where it's like in the beginning or even in the mid time, it's been five years for this person.

Like the fact that you're just great.

Like I think if, if there is someone listening to this that is going through the same thing and you've been faking it your entire relationship or your entire life just with everyone.

Like there's a way of just like being like, okay, maybe I will bring in a toy just to like, just. And not say it's anything about them, but just being like, I'm gonna bring in this toy which has.

It's been five years. Maybe let's just like heighten our sexual experiences. Right? Like that's sort of normal.

Mel: I mean.

Yeah, I mean, I think it's like what I've said to you before. As you know, I dislike lying. Lying, hiding, whatever the problem is. It just goes like this.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And it keeps going and the, the deeper you get into it, the worse it gets. Because then, then if you're five years in, then they'll be like, oh my God, then what else have you lied about?

Oh, you know when they had that amazing weekend away and you said it was like, it just like goes on and on. Your mind goes like the boyfriend's mind is just going to go, oh my God, that was a lie.

That was a lie. That was a lie. And so she's worried about that. And I, I mean, what the advice to her would be. Yeah, like what you said. I think you're going to have to gently say or say something like, I'm changing, you know, or this has changed for me,

which does change for women and I need this. But you're going to have to find a way. But yeah, absolutely. Of course, at the beginning people are finding each other.

And sometimes it does not. People don't connect that well. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't.

Sometimes it takes time.

But I mean, Lord, what are you talking about?

Suzie: Like, imagine, imagine not coming at all.

Mel: Not discussing it with your partner.

No. And to be honest, I don't even imagine that yet.

The older you get and the longer you're with somebody, if you don't, the more of a chore it's gonna, it's just gonna be like, okay, I've done the washing, Tick, I've made the dinner.

****, I've got to do this now. Fine, get over with. And that's just what it becomes. It just becomes a thing you have to do if there is no enjoyment at all.

And also, the more you're in a relationship with other commitments of whatever those commitments are, the less time you have.

So the whole thing just gets worse and worse. Yeah.

Suzie: Just at the end of whatever she said, it was like,

and that's a secret that I will die with. It's like you're literally going to die quickly because you don't come ever.

You're already dead inside. Like maybe you're dead inside. So what. What's. What you got to lose? You know what I mean?

Mel: I think it's. Yeah. I mean, obviously veering off the topic. I think it's very, very, very, very common for women. I think lots of women lie about this.

Suzie: Oh my God.

Mel: Because I used to lie about it.

Suzie: I understand it fully in a, in a.

Mel: You think the society, there's whatever the years are between us, 20, whatever. And it hasn't changed that. It's still this thing where everyone has this thing. It's in all the movies.

And I, I don't mean, you know, X rated movies. I mean normal movies. People have romance and they have sex and it's. Right.

And it's all about penetration.

And that is not the case.

It's just not true. If you know anything about a woman's body,

you know, it's just not true. And if you can't be honest about that, I mean there's also the possibility,

very strong possibility, she doesn't know enough about herself. She doesn't know. And it takes, that takes a long time. But it also takes a partner who's very thoughtful and can see that there's something.

I mean, how does he not know? I know you can be very good at faking it, but if you, if you know somebody for a very long time, your body.

Well, I guess he's never experienced.

Suzie: He's never experienced it though.

Mel: He's never experienced.

Suzie: That's what. And it's like we're talking about hiding things from your partner. This is literally something I would recommend for everyone. Do not lie about this ever. And it's way worse once you get to this person's level of like relationship where you're needing now, it's like.

And especially, I mean you can say this from, from like at your age, right where your hormones are changing and also you give way less fox. So something's bound to, you're bound to say something at an older age if you're still with the same person being like, you've never made me come and think using that as,

like something in a fight. You know what I mean? And then the divorce is eminent, you know, and.

Mel: And that's really unfair. That's really hurtful because it's also presupposing that it's. It's his responsibility. And I. I do think that's another thing that I wish we talked about a bit more generally in.

In. In sex education or education of any kind is accountability.

Accountability for your own pleasure, for your own happiness, for your own everything. You have to be accountable for that. And I know that's really difficult, but you do. And you're pushing the.

In this case, I think you're pushing that onto him. And that's not his responsibility.

No. And now it's gone so long that how the hell is he supposed to know what he should be doing? So if she'd said something, that would be the other thing.

If you'd said something right at the beginning, he'd be like, okay, let's try this transfer, you know, like, then he would have known. How's he supposed to know? He's not a mind reader.

Suzie: And then it's also like, I'm assuming this per. This woman is younger because I used to fake it all the time when I was younger because you don't want to hurt the guy's feelings.

You don't really know how to go about it. You don't really know your body even as much. So, like, once you start getting into your later 20s, hopefully, or early 30s, when you start having more sex or masturbating more or whatever, then you figure it out, and then you're like,

okay, now I can tell someone how to **** me properly, how it works. But I'm assuming this girl just doesn't have enough experience with her own body.

Mel: Which is sad, I would say that. And obviously we don't know this is some random buzzfeed person and are they even real, But I, you know, this does happen a lot, which I think is why we've caught onto this and we're talking about this.

It happens a lot. And,

you know, it just goes to the core of what we're talking about, about hiding things. It's. It's generally never a good idea.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: You know, hiding. I know people.

I mean. Oh, God. I mean, I know so many lies that have been told. People who hide, like, their family history or they hide.

I know one guy once who.

This is his second wife, I'm sure. I've Told you the story, and he's not friends. That's fine.

And he. She was his second wife, didn't have children. He had multiple children, and she wanted children. So he paid for ivf.

Suzie: Oh, yeah. This is horrible.

Mel: But he paid off the doctor,

which we won't say what country this in, because it's not good. He paid off the doctor to not actually do it properly. And. And surprisingly, they're divorced. Not about this, because she never found out, but it doesn't matter that it's about this, which is just the most horrible lie.

It's like. It's a lie. And so everything is based on a lie. So if you know, I mean, that's. That's nuts. And I know. On the flip side of this, I would like to say I know a lot of men,

especially men who have had second wives, second or third wives, who have children, who didn't want to have children, but their partner wanted to have children, and they knew how important it was.

And I know lots of my friends who've had kids, you know, with. With second husbands who are much older. And they did it because they knew or went through IVF or whatever the woman needed because they knew.

They loved that woman. She needed it. And it's not really relevant what they wanted.

They were okay with it. I mean, obviously, if you don't want children, that's another whole discussion. But they had a child because they knew their wife. They knew that she needed it.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: And obviously it wasn't a big deal for them. If it was a big deal, that's another discussion. But I mean, yeah. Hiding, lying,

like we talked about at the beginning, hiding finances. I know lots of people who do all sorts of kind of things to. So that husband. Even though they work, which is mad.

So the husband doesn't see the credit card statement.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: You know, like, we'll take out cash. So. So it's not. Not that the husband cares about how much money they've spent, even though it's their joint money, which is another level of fuckery, is they just, you know, like, I think some men in particular have real issues with how you spend more money.

You know, oh, my God, you spend 400 bucks on your hair. Oh, my God, you spent $2,000 in a handbag. Oh, my God. Whereas if you'd said, I've spent $2,000 on a.

I don't know,

something that he wants, that would be fine. Yeah.

Suzie: A new lawnmower or something.

Mel: Yeah. What. What do lawn mowers cost? I don't know. I don't **** one of those John Deere things that you get on and that sort of thing. But. And so they just don't like.

They don't care about the sums being spent. They just don't like it going on certain things, which I think is personally mad. Well, if you have the means.

Suzie: If you have the means for buying nice handbags and buying expensive hairstyle like. Like hair things and like this is all your money, then like, there's no question about it. I can understand if like maybe you're behind on your mortgage payments or like you have children.

Who needs things that you're. Of course that's a problem. But if you are just buying things because you want them and there's no problem, then like, yeah, off.

Mel: Yeah. I think you have to get to a thing. And somebody asked me this the other day, like, and actually it's not the first time. People ask me this all the time.

What are my agreement is with my husband about money and how we spend money and blah, blah, blah.

Now I'm very lucky. I'm married to a man who is just not materialistic. He is not interested. He's interested. I'll give you an example. He's so excited because he's just bought himself a vintage blazer.

That was Johnny Carson's. It was. It's Johnny Carson. You know, he's. He loves this. This old,

very famous tv,

which presenter or whatever, American host who died like I don't know how many years ago. But he just thinks he's amazing. And he's been reading his book and he found on ebay somebody selling a blazer.

Cause Johnny Carson used to have a. A clothing line and in this vintage blazer and he's just so excited and it didn't cost him very much money. That's what gets him excited.

He would never, ever, ever go and spend thousands of dollars on. He's just not interested. Yeah, he just doesn't care. It's just his jam. He's not a materialistic person. He doesn't care about watches or.

He doesn't care about anything about stuff like that. He cares. Like he. He's got his.

What you call that pinball machine and that cost him like 15 grand. He'd spend money on that.

Suzie: Oh my God. That's all.

Mel: He's something like that. I don't actually hilarious or. He's very into sport. So he has all these seats at different places. Yeah, it costs a lot of money,

but that is. That is what he likes to do. That's What? He likes to spend his money.

Suzie: You're not going to harass him about what he wants to spend his money on. He's not going to harass you.

Mel: That's.

I don't care. And he likes going to the games and you know, like, especially like with the hockey. Like, you pay a fee, another fee. The hockey, Hockey, the hockey.

And then,

and then it gets more and more expensive. I, I don't,

I don't care. I don't have a discussion about that.

Suzie: No.

Mel: Now, he obviously wouldn't do that if he had a financial issue.

And equally. So this is. I've gone far off the point. But equally, if I wanted something, I wouldn't. I just would not go out and spend certain sums of money.

So, you know, like, I just wouldn't do it without. We sort of have a level. Like he bought his, his pinball machine. I'm pointing. Cause it's over there. We had a conversation.

I said, yeah, get your pinball machine. He would not go out and just buy it. We'd have a conversation because it's, it's a lot of money. Or if you bought a car or if he bought a house.

So he's not just gonna go and buy a house or anything like that, but if he's gonna buy a, a sweater or a pair of jeans or a bag, that's what.

I'm not gonna have a conversation. I'm gonna have a conversation.

Suzie: This is an art. This is. Obviously, I didn't do this, but my, my parents actually. So we have. We as in me? Obviously not, but my parents have a house on the west coast of Canada.

And they were, we were all there because we're visiting my sister who lived there at the time. And they, I was like five years old whenever they did this. And my, they saw this house, it was for sale,

and my dad bought it without telling my mom.

And it turned out to be like, the best thing ever. Like, we go there every summer and it's literally the, like, just an incredible piece of property.

And the house is really cute. It's like nothing fancy or anything, but it's, you know, a property.

And I remember my mom telling me this, like, obviously when I was a little older and like, just bought it without telling her.

Mel: No. Yeah, I mean, I would be mad.

Suzie: Oh yeah. Like, unbelievable.

Mel: We talk, we talk about all these things, but. But you know, if I, like I said, if you're going to go and buy something,

I don't know, like a few hundred thousand, whatever, you're not gonna have A conversation. If I'm gonna spend five grand, ten grand, I'm. I'm not gonna do that because.

And I'm not stupid. And I also, you know, there's a respect there, right? But.

But yeah, we don't have a conversation about it.

Suzie: So funny. I mean, so. Well, there's this other. So there's one more thing that I. On this stupid little article from buzzfeed,

and I want to ask you what you would have done in this. Okay, so this is a guy telling the story, and he's like. He's talking about his girlfriend or wife's like, sister in law.

Like his sister in law. So her sister got way too drunk a few years ago and made a pass at me.

She never brought it up again. Like, the sister never brought it up again. So either she forgot or she's like dying inside about it.

To be fair, the girl, it was incredibly out of character for her. I was initially keeping it a secret to stop the sisters fighting, but it's been so long now.

If I bring it up, I'm pretty sure it will sound super sus. Suspect,

probably not that scandalous. But I don't do.

He's like, he's. He doesn't do that stuff. Like he's a monogamous person.

But like, if. Let's say Max, he. Max does have a brother. But let's say, you know, this is another secret brother, and he made.

He made a passing you when he was drunk. Would you tell Max about it if the brother didn't bring it up?

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: You would tell him?

Mel: Yeah. I mean, look, I can tell you a similar story in my family. My father made a pass at my mother in law.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: My father's a charm, a charming individual.

And she didn't tell me for very long time because she didn't know what to do with that. And I.

No, I mean absolute respect for that. It's a horrible situation,

and I don't know what the hell. What is she gonna do? What's she gonna say? That's very difficult.

Suzie: I mean, what is she gonna do? But also, what are you gonna do with that? You know what I mean?

Mel: Yeah, yeah. 100. Yeah, exactly. And she told me many years later.

Suzie: It'S not your fault. But I mean, obviously it's not the ideal situation.

Mel: Yeah, no.

And I was like, oh, you should have told me, because I 100% believe you, because I know my dad's like, but.

And I laugh because there's nothing else I can do other than love. But no, I would definitely Tell Max.

Yeah, so, like, if, like, again, if we have situations where somebody makes a pass or does something, I mean, I get. We always laugh about it. Like,

he seems to endlessly have older women trying to pick him up, which I think is the funniest thing ever.

I was in. We were in the airport the other day, and he's just sitting down, and this old. We're in the line to check in, and they're taking a long time, so he sits down.

And this older woman, I'd say, so Max is 51. I'd say she was probably 65, maybe 70, something like that. And she sat down next to him, and I just watched them because I thought it was funny.

And I could just see she was desperate to talk to him.

Suzie: Oh, my God.

Mel: And it was so funny. And then. And obviously I was standing there. But anyway, he started talking, and this woman was British, and of course she's like, oh, where are you from?

And then she just didn't stop talking.

But it was so funny. She was clearly. I said, she, she, she fancied you. And he's like, what? And I said, yes, Max.

But if that had happened and I wasn't there, yeah, he would have said something just because it's funny. And I, I think if you don't say something, I don't think that's a big deal either, because it could have just been some stupid thing that happened in the day and you just don't even remember,

and who the hell cares? But I would probably say something. Yeah, I think I would.

But in this man's case, I think that's very difficult to bring it up many years later.

Suzie: Well, also, I think, like, sisters are different than brothers. Do you know what I mean?

Mel: 100%. 100%.

Suzie: It was like a brother. Because men are obviously more known to be more sexual. So it's like, okay, like, dude, that was really not ******* cool. And I don't want to ******* ever have to tell you to not do that again.

Like, that's kind of the end of the situation. Sisters were very much more, like,

mean.

Mel: Yeah, well, women are mean. Women are bitchy. And I, I, I think also your natural reaction, you'd say, well, why are you telling me now what's happened? You, you immediate mind would go to what's going on.

And then you, your mind would go down this rabbit hole of, that's happening. That's not happening. He's just telling you because he feels he should tell you. But no, like, can't.

Suzie: No, like, for real.

Mel: Like, if I just drop it.

Suzie: This would have never. And I know you don't have siblings, so it's like,

you know, but I. I have a half sister, and she's much older than me.

But it would be the most insane thing if I were to, like, hit on her husband or if she were to, like, hit on my. Whoever.

I would never. We would never trust each other again. Like, not even a chance. But, like, men are different. Men are like. Brothers are different. They're all like, you know, like, they make more jokes and they do more stupid stuff.

Women are literally mean. We're. We're very mean and we're very, like, direct with what we want. And there usually isn't a question about it, even though we might. See, we might play stupid.

Like, we're very calculated a lot of the time. So, like, for sure, if we're hitting on someone, that means we want to fudge them 100%.

Mel: 100. I totally agree with you. I also, you know, I say this to Max all the time, and he's kind of shocked by it. I say, women are willing. They could be your best friend, but if they want that man, they will scratch you.

They will tear you down. They don't give a **** because the. The ends justify the means. And they'll look at you and they'll be like, why do you have that?

Why do you have all of that? Why? Blah, blah. And that's what women think. They don't. They're not happy for you. They're generally thinking, well, why has she got that?

I'm better looking, I'm younger, I'm this. And whatever.

Women are not generally happy for you. So I totally agree with you in that moment. Maybe.

Maybe she does find him attractive. She doesn't wanna have a relationship with him, but she was drunk or lonely or all of the above, and she hit on him. And look, let's face it, most of us have been in some kind of situation like that before,

and I really. If nothing happened and this happened years ago, drop it like a stone weight at the bottom of the sea.

Because if you bring it up, your wife, stroke, girlfriend, whatever, is definitely gonna think something else has happened for sure, gonna believe you. And she's gonna hunt down the truth and get obsessed with it and be obsessive, and then every family gathering you have is gonna work.

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

So, you know, I think if you'd made a joke at the time, oh, my God, your sister was a bit ******. I think she made a pass at me or whatever,

whatever. But you didn't. You left it. I understand why you didn't say anything. I totally understand that. And I think also sometimes in situations like that, if she didn't sort of touch you, or maybe it was just a silly, eh, you know, maybe just let it go.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: But, but now let it go. Do not bring it up. Women do not deal with these situations. Well,

it's because nothing happened. If nothing happened, and you don't want anything to happen, just let it go. I mean, it's a different situation. If she tries something again,

you know, then you're in a different thing. But I mean, if five years have passed, it's probably unlikely, you know,

but yeah,

it's tough, I think. I mean, you gotta hide. You gotta hide that.

Suzie: Yeah. And I, like, obviously, like, there's, there's a few more. And I'm sure you guys listening have her thinking about what you've hidden from your partners. And if you guys have stories about it, we'd love to hear from you at sharemytruth.com or dms@sharemytruthpod.

But there's so many things that we hide that we don't even realize we're hiding. Right. Like, we just kind of were like, yeah, oh, that's not an important thing. Or maybe it's just, like, you don't want to hurt their feelings.

But if it's something that you will make your life better or will help the relationship, or maybe you just need to get it off your chest.

I mean, don't do it selfishly, but, like,

it's better to talk. If this is a partner that you think you're gonna be with for a while, it's better to talk about it.

Mel: Yeah, maybe. Yeah.

Suzie: Not that I can take my own advice ever, but, you know.

Mel: I'm not saying anything,

but,

but yeah, I mean, if it's like big things like we said, like in your, your intimate relationship, or you've, you, you're in debt or like that, I mean, you kind of got up,

fess up. Do you know what I mean? Is that an English term, fess up? You've got to tell the truth because what are you gonna do? Like, are you gonna, are you gonna hide this forever?

I, I, I, I don't know. What, I don't know. What do you do with your credit card? What do you do if you go and buy a house and then they look at the guys or the woman's credit rating?

Like, oh, well, you know, they're $400,000 in debt and you're like what? And so you go through this whole thing and you can't buy the house anyway because they're in.

I mean,

what's the point of that?

Suzie: No, it's really bad, but it's really stupid.

Mel: I, I do understand the, the, the whole point of our podcast and the whole problem with people in general is they don't like talking because talking is difficult. Apparently you and me find this very easy and talk way too much to.

Suzie: Each other, though, not to men.

Mel: Right, Right. But, you know, a little bit of communication is, is, is kind of helpful. Everyone, you know, don't lie about big ****. I mean, you can lie about.

I don't know. I didn't actually make that cake. I bought it, you know,

which I wouldn't.

Suzie: I love that so much.

Mel: I should know. I've never made a cake. Never made a cake in my life, but I have actually. It was pretty. You know, I'm not known for my cooking. But anyway, I digress.

So that's. Those are our thoughts.

Suzie: Yeah, guys, let us know if there's anything that you guys would add to this. I mean, if any of the things that we've spoken about today, if any of these people's situations sound familiar, we'd love to hear from you.

But with that, we shall see you next week.

Mel: Bye.

Suzie: Love ya.

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Mel: Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at Sharing My Truth Pod and leave us a voicemail on our website sharingmytruth.com to share your stories and experiences with us.

We'll see you you next time. Bye bye.

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