Suzie : Welcome to Sharing My Truth with Mel and Suzie. The uncensored version where we bear it all.

Mel: We do. 1, 2, 3, 4.

Suzie : And hello, everyone, and welcome back to Share My Trip Pod. You're here with Mel and Susie. Thanks for joining in to us today. Joining in to us, Coming in, right in there, getting comfortable wherever you're listening to this pod or watching it.

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Hey, babes.

Mel: Hello, darling. Hello.

Suzie : You're divine and gold.

Mel: Thanks.

Suzie : I was going to say Mary gold, but it's more gold.

Mel: I think it's gold. Yeah.

Suzie : I tried to copy Mel in a little cardigan today.

Mel: You're in a. I'm in a bash. Yeah, Bash.

Suzie : I'm in a bash. Cardigan.

Mel: Posh than mine. I'm so posh.

Suzie : I've got my poshness from you, though.

Mel: Oh, have you?

Suzie : I've really stepped up my game. My cardigan game, at least.

Mel: Well, I'm glad I had something to.

Suzie : Teach in your old age, as I.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie : I'll teach you about ***********. You teach me about cardigan.

Mel: Okay. It works. Yeah.

Suzie : It's a kind of a two street.

Mel: Right.

Suzie : It's kind of like we are in our own situationship.

Mel: Are we?

Suzie : Because we haven't really defined us.

Mel: Really?

Suzie : When people ask you who the hell am I, what do you tell them?

Mel: I say you're Susie.

Suzie : Susie. I'm a good friend.

Mel: Yeah, you're my friend.

Suzie : That's nice.

Mel: Oh, you're a young friend, but you're my friend.

Suzie : I know. It's really cute.

Mel: And my podcast business partner.

Suzie : Yeah.

Mel: I mean, that's the truth.

Suzie : So I guess we're not most in a relationship or a situationship. We're in a relationship.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie : We've actually defined it.

Mel: We have.

Suzie : But this episode, my friend, my one of my old friends who's dating my other friend brought this up to me.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie : Is a gentleman. It's Very nice, Steve. Shout out to Steve.

He was like, I want you guys to talk about situationships because situationships do not make sense.

They like, let's like for some people, situationships. What the hell are they? What does that even mean? Because it's also like, isn't that just dating?

And like, what does it even mean? Mel, take it away.

Mel: A situationship is a romantic or sexual relationship whose members have not formally defined it or officially committed to it.

Suzie : So it's kind of in that weird space, you know, when like they're always showing in like shows or like movies when the girl. When it's like at the three month mark and the girl is like, so what are we?

Mel: Yeah, I mean, I.

Suzie : So the situationship is like the time period before that.

Mel: I think it's a lot. It can be that. It can also be. I just watched this fairly ****** show on Netflix while I was on the plane and it was.

Suzie : You love a ****** Netflix show.

Mel: Yeah. And the. So the guy was set in a hospital and this girl like was really into this guy and he liked having sex with her. He just doesn't see himself with her, but he uses her.

He keeps going back to her and then he keeps looking for other people. And to me that's a situationship. Like one person's really invested and wants this to be a thing and the other one's just not there.

Suzie : Yeah, see like I've had multiple situationships, if you'll quote as more of just like, yeah, we're dating, we're *******.

We're not really into relationship with each other. We're just enjoying being kind of friends with benefits. But I feel like it's weird because you can't really define it because like, do you still go on dates?

Maybe. Maybe you like to actually hang out and then you want to **** after.

Mel: But I think that's the thing, isn't it? In a lot of situationships, one other person, to them, you're just friends with.

Suzie : Benefits to the other person, the other person's in love.

Mel: Yeah. Is trying to hook you in and it's not working. So your friend Steve, why did he want us to talk about it? What does he.

Suzie : I think it's because he. So he's obviously in a relationship with my other friend. But he is like, I have a lot of friends who keep on ******* talking about situationships.

And he's like, this is stupid because you're just dating.

He's like, this is just what dating is. You're not in situationships. This is just plain Old, like dating. Just put a stupid ******* label on it.

Mel: And. But what, what is going on in these things that they're saying? It's a situationship.

Suzie : I think people are just in these situationships in the terms of like, oh, like, yeah, we're. We're kind. We're not. We're not really dating. We're in a situationship.

Mel: Yeah. So you're kind of. You like each other's company with clothes and without clothes, essentially.

Suzie : Yeah, I'm assuming. I would hope so. But you're getting something out of it.

Mel: Yeah. And you probably enjoy each other's company.

You know, you like having sex together, you like going out, you like doing whatever, but it's just not going anywhere. But I think that's often,

like, one person is invested and the other isn't, and that's why it's not going anywhere. Right. And so. And then what happens is you stay in this thing because you like the other person.

Maybe one person likes the whole package and the other person just likes the sex bit or whatever it is. But you haven't met anybody else, so you just kind of stay in it.

And the thing never moves forward. It's just a situation. And I think that's kind of it. I don't think that's nothing new. That is just people who are. Yes. Dating.

He's right. Steve is right. Thanks, Steve. And who haven't. This isn't the long. This isn't it. This isn't the thing. And they're just going through all these situationships to get to the actual thing, as it were.

Suzie : Fang.

Mel: Yeah. And I think. Exactly. And it's just also, we have this desire today. We have to give everything a ******* label.

Suzie : Right.

Mel: Like every nanodescription of everything has to have a label, which can be a good thing. Cause it enables people to communicate. Susie. Absolutely. And to describe what they're in and what they're doing.

And I think that's where the word comes from. And like all these kind of terms for,

you know, sexuality terms or all the millions of new terms. They are. It's just because people are all in the levels of shades of gray. Nobody, everyone is unique. And we're all in somewhere along this gradient in different series of situations and things and whatever.

Suzie : So that's why for women, it's a lot more.

I don't want to be like so dramatic and say it's like a dangerous thing, but like, it's like. Because women don't want to scare off men by talking about the relationship too early.

Or like, by asking that question of, like, what are we?

So women have to kind of,

you know, do our little manipulation thing of being like, okay, well, if I just like, put out, he still takes me out. We have a fun time, we kind of connect.

I've met his friends, he's met my friends, but we're technically not in a relationship yet. But they are still. They're wanting to become in that relationship. And obviously this can be men or women, but I'm assuming it's mostly women because women are more calculated in this way and men just don't think about stuff as much.

But I think it is this way of women kind of wanting to put a label on something because it feels like more serious than maybe it is or maybe the guy thinks it is.

Mel: Yeah, I think that's exactly what it is. And I think.

Suzie : So we're done then.

Mel: No,

but I think, you know, like, we all need to grow up a bit. Like, either you like it, you don't like it, and maybe, hello, if you're in a situationship,

have a conversation. Do you wanna. Do you see this going long term? I don't know. Surely you can get those words out of your mouth and if the other person isn't interested and then you don't want.

So say goodbye and that's it.

Suzie : The problem is, it's like when you invest so much time into something and you don't have a label on it and you're worried that if you bring up that potential of like, what are we?

What's going on? Do you want to take things more serious? You're worried. You're like worried that, that you're pushing that person away.

Mel: Yes, I know, but this from. From my point of view, from my Gen X point of view, if you're worried, why are you with this person? Right. It makes absolutely no sense.

I understand. So, okay, let's get into it, right?

Suzie : Get on the roller coaster. Let's go.

Mel: If you're at the beginning and you're dating and having fun and. And blah, blah, blah, let's say you're a few months in. I know a lot of women who are absolute, literally a little bit psychotic and they're like already talking about children and their house and how many cars and whatever after date?

2. Clearly there is a time frame for this, you know, and obviously if you're like a month or two months in, you know,

it's not very long period of time. However, if you really like each other, you do get a sense that this is going somewhere, right? Quite quickly. And so if it isn't, then you should have a conversation.

But you don't have to have a psycho conversation like I want five children, are you ready? Kind of thing. You can have a kind of conversation to see where that person's thought process is, but the other thing is just the way they are with you.

Are they attentive? When you, like, let's say you make plans, do they make the plans? Do they always turn up? Do they cancel? I mean, come on, you can tell whether somebody's into you.

Right. And if you just, you know, are there because you're so scared, which I think is what happens, that if you let that situationship go, there's gonna be nothing else.

Go with the nothing else because it's not worth it. And then the other thing, and I've said this a million times, if you stay in these situations, you will not meet somebody else.

Right. Because you're with this situationship, having dinner or whatever you're doing with this person, you know, having sex, whatever you're doing means you are not out there in the real world irl,

meeting a real person, other people. Yeah.

Suzie : You're putting all that emotional energy.

Mel: Yeah, you are with that situationship person who's never going to give you anything, male or female. Doesn't matter which side of this it is. If you want something more, you can tell very quickly whether this person is going to sort of get there.

Yeah, I completely understand that. Two months in, you should not be talking about, you know, buying houses and children and being a nutcase about it. Right. But you can tell whether this is going somewhere.

Suzie : Well, you know what's so funny?

Mel: To let it go.

Suzie : I love what you're saying is that, like, you literally can tell if someone's ******* invested. Like that is obvious. You can tell if someone is showing up, is planning the dates, is excited about seeing you.

You should be able to tell that.

Mel: Particularly men.

Suzie : Yes.

Mel: If men love women. And I think I, hopefully our people will agree with me. If men really love women and they're really into the woman, they will do anything. Yeah. They will be like, you know, I have a presentation at 6 o'clock in the morning and I have to drive three hours.

They will not give a ****. They will want to see that woman. They're like, I'm going to see you, I'm going to get two hours sleep. They won't care. They will not make excuses that say they don't have money, they'll go borrow money, they'll do whatever they have to do to see this woman that they're completely infatuated by.

Exactly. They'll do anything. So there's a clue, ladies. If they won't do it or they cancel, they're like, you know, like, you've broken. Broken down on the side of the road in your car, right?

Yeah. And you call your situationship. And he says,

sorry, I'm busy. Yeah, move on.

Suzie : Yeah.

Mel: I mean, you know. Right. He will do anything for you. Right. And if we're talking about male, female, and we are talking about male, female, because we're females and we know we don't want to get into trouble about saying what men do, but that's true, isn't it?

Yes. And like, if he won't do it, that's it.

Suzie : Exactly.

Mel: Move on.

Suzie : So one of my really good girlfriends is. Started dating this guy and I'm like, really happy for her because, like, she deserves a world, in my opinion. And like, she. She met this guy randomly and now he's very well off, which is excellent.

Obviously, it's nothing like super serious yet, but he's already, like, he has like a. He's Americans. He has a place in New York and he has a place in Florida.

And like, so he has flown her to both places already. And like, he's like, asking her all these, like, more serious questions. And he's brought her into, like, his world.

And the fact that this has happened and they've only been dating for like two, three weeks.

Mel: He's totally into her.

Suzie : Of course he is. And like, that's is literally like, if he wants to, he will.

Mel: Exactly, like, that's it.

Suzie : And if he doesn't want to, he won't. Guys. And then that's it.

Mel: It's that simple. It's like when people say, how do you know when you're in love? You don't have to ask the question, you know? Yeah. That's it. It's that simple. If somebody like.

And particularly men for women, they will drop everything. They won't see any obstacle. They'll do whatever to see that woman.

Suzie : Yeah.

Mel: And if. And you know, you should want that. You. You know, you should want to find that. So if they're not doing that for you, what are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing?

Do not try and change. And I'm particularly talking about men to women. To women to men. Sorry. Do not try and change men. You're not.

Suzie : It's not gonna happen. It's bad.

Mel: Women. Women seem to do it. They seem to think they can change a man, you know, to be what they want.

Suzie : It's less about changing them. It's more about the women wanting the challenge of, like, what is bringing them. I don't know, because, like, oh, I can make him better. And we're seeing this.

If anyone else has watched White Lotus, I know Mel hasn't, but, like, I. There's this. There's the. There's a one young woman character with her older man.

Mel: Yeah, Man, The British actress.

Suzie : Yeah. I love her so much. And she's. She's like, she's the sweetest little girl in the world. And she, like, loves this guy so much. This guy's a ****. And, like, he doesn't really do anything, like, positive about her and, like, leaves her at the hotel and it's like.

It's insane. And, like, you're like, why is this woman. Why is she doing this? Right? Like, it's so toxic. Like, why are women like this? When we're just so infatuated by the fact of, like, by the possibility of a man?

We can see their potential. Women see men's potential, and we just are like, we can bring it out of them, no problem. When we're going to stay with that man until we bring it out in him.

Mel: We.

Suzie : And we'll never leave him until that happens. And it never happens.

Mel: Yeah. I mean, I think potential is one thing. I think if men. A man has told you, like, I don't want this, like, I don't want marriage, or, I don't want children, or, I don't want this or that, and the other.

And you're like, okay, yeah, that's fine. I'm fine with that. But you're really not fine with that because most women, nine times out of 10, think I'll change it.

Suzie : Exactly.

Mel: No, no, just. No, like, just, like, stop doing that.

Suzie : It's also the thing of, like, if. If you're. If you're dating a married man and.

Mel: You eating a married man.

Suzie : If you're dating a married man and he says he's like, oh, I'll leave my wife for you, and he doesn't in the first, like, month. I mean, he will never leave his wife for you, especially if there's children involved.

Mel: The clue is in married. Like, Mr. Clue is there.

Suzie : It's just like, ladies, why are we trying so hard to help broken men? We don't need to do that. You can find beautiful, hot, single men who want you and only you.

It doesn't have to be a hard thing.

Mel: And if it's not right, like, this person isn't completely into you and doesn't want to go beyond the situation, male or female.

What are you doing? I don't know, just go and find the other person. And the only way you're going to find the other person is to get out of the situationship and get back into the world.

And I know what often happens, you know, you say, okay, that's it when we're not gonna do this anymore. And then, you know, you maybe go to party or you get drunk and you end up having sex again and the whole thing starts all over again.

You have to somehow find a way of removing that. Cause it'll just keep bringing you back into this kind of toxic thing. And why would you want to, in my opinion, and I know I sit looking at this from a very different angle.

Why would you want to continue dating or sit tuning whatever we want to call it, somebody who's not completely into you. Like if you, if you go for a few dates and you date for a month or two and it was nice, but that, that was it, you know,

you just had a fun time and that's not your person, fine. Why would you keep going? I don't get it. And I do understand this fear and I know particularly women have it and we don't like talking about it.

We don't like talking about the fact that men, I'm afraid, have much more shelf life than women do in terms of dating.

Suzie : Unfortunately.

Mel: Yeah, it's very troubled.

I hate to say it, but it's the truth. And so women tend to get to an age and start to go into this mega panic mode. Yeah.

Suzie : If they still want to be in a relationship.

Mel: If they still want. Yeah, of course, if they want to have a relationship and children and a more traditional life or whatever you want to call it, they start to go into this full on kind of freak out panic thing which kind of then manifests itself into dating ridiculous people who are never going to give them what they want.

And it's not actually fair to the person that the person you're dating putting all these expectations of what you want on that person that can't give it to you.

It seems like, it just seems kind of crazy to me. I know, but I do. On the flip side, I understand it's very difficult to meet people. So you just think, well,

I'll make this person into my thing. But that never works. That never works. I mean, take it from me, somebody's been married for a very long time and as we know, I've talked about it a lot you know, you know, my husband, very happily married.

But that doesn't mean there aren't ups and downs in life for all sorts of reasons. You know, whether that's health, financial, family, whatever it is, everyone has them. If they say they don't, they're lying.

And so it's work, being in a relationship. And I don't mean that in a. In a negative way, but you gotta work at it. You put up effort. It's not always amazing and magical and all the rest of it.

So why in God's name would you do all of that in a situation that isn't like fully invested? Yeah, it doesn't make any sense to me. I know.

Suzie : It's really.

Mel: It's hard enough as it is, right?

Suzie : Yeah.

Mel: You know? Cause it's like if.

Suzie : And you know what is hard is like if you're having really good sex with a person, right. And you don't want to give that up because that is something that's like, that's like, that's a hard thing to give up.

But if it's like the other person isn't as serious, let's say maybe they don't want a relationship, but you're like, well, I want a relationship, but I don't want to give up this good sex.

Mel: I think that's. That basically is what situationships are. I don't think it's always the man doing this and the man just wanting, not wanting more. I just think it's probably more often and.

Yeah, and I think that there's a lot of truth in that. You don't want to give that up. And I think women stupidly think we have this thing in our head that we think if this man likes having sex with us and we have a good connection physically, he's going to get there,

he's going to get really into it, he's going to want it.

Suzie : Yeah, not a guarantee.

Mel: He's not.

Suzie : It's unfortunately not a guarantee.

Mel: He's not going to get there. If he isn't there now, he's not getting there. It's not going to grow on you are not going to grow on him. You know, it's just.

No. And I know that's harsh and that's horrible because obviously people take it personally, but it's actually not personal. This is just. This doesn't work. This isn't your time, your thing, your person, your whatever.

And I appreciate that it is a total and utter pain in the *** to go back into the world and trying to meet somebody because it's so difficult to do that.

But then when you do meet somebody, like your friend has met somebody who's totally into her and you know they're gonna have hopefully this wonderful love. Passionate.

Suzie : I hope so.

Mel: Yeah, I hope it's wonderful. Well, that's worth it. Good for her. Like she's probably gone through some other ****** situations to get to this. Worth so good for her. Then she's in it.

Then it is worth it.

Suzie : Yeah.

Mel: But I'm afraid the only way to find out is to get back on the horse.

Suzie : Well, that's the thing. It's like you go through all of these things and I do believe that all of these bad relationships you have and like all these situations, ships you put yourself through is just going to bring you closer to hopefully that person.

If you allow that in. Right. You have to always believe that you're. You're going to bring that energy in. Yes. Because if you're closed off to opportunities and all these things, then you're never going to find a person.

You're never going to find that job. It's like the. It's all connected.

Mel: You're not. You have to. If like a yes.

Suzie : Person.

Mel: Absolutely. Life is like that. You have to keep going even when it's tough. In whatever area of your life is, you have to keep pushing forward. Sometimes seeing the light at the tunnel being quite far down the tunnel, but you have to keep moving forward.

And I think that's very well said. You have to be very open to the possibility of anything. The open to the possibility of letting love in or whatever. And I think that is what happens to a lot of people is they have all these really ****** situations, male and female.

They have people that treat them badly for a variety of reasons. And I don't think it's a male, more male or more female. It's just people and they get sort of slightly traumatized and they take it all in and then they take that and they become bitter and they take it to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing.

Suzie : Yes, exactly.

Mel: You almost have to shed it like a sort of lizard or something. You have to go, okay, that was that person and that situationship. That person was like that, that situation or that combination of me and that person was that.

That doesn't mean the next person who's a totally different unique person is going to be the same. But I realize that's very hard to talk yourself into that.

Suzie : It is very interesting. Like I. I have a way of closing myself off to like I. I'M able to just close off, like, emotions that I've felt in the past. Does that make sense?

Like, I feel like. Well, I think there's a lot of people who bring all these emotions with them. They have. It's like their baggage. Right. And everyone has baggage in their own little way.

But because I feel like it's just the way I grew up or like, you don't cry. You don't. You know what I mean? And like, I'm a crybaby now. And like, I, you know, have let myself feel more emotions than I ever have.

And I feel okay about that. But, like, there's a lot of things that, like, I learned in my youth that, like, it's okay just keep. Pick yourself back up and you go for the next one.

And, like, that's just how it was with me. And so I bring that into all my other relationships with, like.

So I don't bring. I try not to bring the baggage of my last relationship to my new relationship. And like, even, like, with friends. Right. Like, I'm a very trusting person.

And until you tell me that, I can't trust you. So it's like, it's. But I think a lot of people. And what I've had to deal with with, like, men and like, a lot of my girlfriends who are dealing with men.

And like, I'm trying to give my friends advice. And like, it's just a lot of people bring all these things that they have learned from other people. And it's like, but you're dealing with a different person.

How can you think that this person's gonna do the exact same thing when it's totally different situation.

Mel: Yeah, but I think it's the ultimate thing. It's very difficult to feel vulnerable. But in actual fact, if you wanna have a good relationship, there has to be an element of that.

Suzie : Yeah.

Mel: And you have to, you know, allow the possibility of trusting that person. And if you've been let down by somebody and again, male or female, it's hard to sort of, you know, go on and do that the next time.

But if you don't, you're never gonna experience it. And I think that's great that you can do that and that you can go into the next situation and say, well, this is a different person.

Suzie : Well, it could be a good thing or a bad thing. Right. Like, it could be good because I'm able to, like, kind of close the wall on or close the door on one, you know, episode of my life and then move on to the next.

Or it's like, maybe I should take those things that I've learned and bring them into the next one. And do you know what I mean? It's a very.

It's a good and bad thing.

Mel: Well, I think. Yeah. No, I agree. I think that if you, in any situation in life, whether it's professional, personal,

intimate relationships, you do have to try in each situation, learn something. If something really bad happens, then you learn something, right?

I don't think it has to make you bitter, but learn from it. Be aware in the next situation.

And I think that's important rather than kind of putting that thing on that person. So I think you are learning from it. You're just not putting all of that stuff on that next person.

And I think that's what people generally do. They. They get. They think, well, they're so aware, like, this happened to me, this person treated me badly, this horrible thing happened.

This person cheated, yada, yada, yada. You're obviously gonna do that. This next person, which they're not necessarily. That's not fair. And really, at the end of the day, what's the point then carrying on dating, if you think that?

Suzie : And my. So my friend who just met this guy and they're having a great time, like, she. I was. I was speaking to her when she was coming back, and she was telling me she was.

Because she was dating this other guy for a while and it was way more situation shippy, sort of. And she couldn't really get her whole read on him, but she liked him.

But she was just like. It was a very confusing situation. Um, and so now she's with this guy and she's like, she's like, it wasn't anything that, like, it wasn't me.

It was. It was just like he was super emotionally unavailable or like, emotionally immature. There was so many things that, like, she didn't realize that she. It wasn't her fault, right?

Like, she couldn't be vulnerable with this other person because he wasn't able to be vulnerable with her. But this new guy is bringing this out on her. And she feels way more comfortable speaking about what she wants in this new relationship and, like, where they can actually go.

Even though it's been such a short.

Mel: Amount of time, but then she has learned, hasn't she? Because what she learned from the previous relationship is it's not necessarily her or what she wants. It's the combination of those two people.

He wasn't right. And if. If you don't feel the thing, and that isn't there for you to do that then it's obviously not right and at that moment you should stop the situationship.

But that's not what people do. Yeah, people just keep going Because I think the other thing is people get, you know, they don't. It's a lot of effort, you know.

Suzie : Don't you think it is a lot of effort to be like. To be able to be with someone and like have sex and make those connections and go out and like get dressed and like, you know, like it's a lot for people today because people don't go out.

Mel: Yeah, I think people go out a lot less. I mean, I think it's funny like if I think about when I was in, particularly in my 20s, I mean I'd say from about 14 onwards, I don't think there's a single Friday or Saturday I was ever in.

Right. And like my father was very. So he's a very sociable guy, he's always out and he would say if I was in or like, you know, about to go out or wasn't or didn't look like I was going out, he'd be like, what are you doing?

Why are you here? Go out. You're young and university, always out, always out drinking, partying. I mean I'm, you know, being fairly stupid. I've done some incredibly stupid things.

Suzie : Yeah, but then you have those experiences and you learn from them.

Mel: But now I'm much older and I have absolutely no desire to recreate any of those stupid experiences.

Suzie : Right, because you learned.

Mel: Because I've done it. I've done it. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, I think people just go out a lot less. Is it because it's expensive? Yeah, I think that's part of it.

I think it's. It's a lot more expensive than it was but I think it's also. We're just shown all this negative **** all the time that everyone's a bit afraid of the world, right?

Suzie : So then they have this weird little situationship and they're like, well I don't want to do anything else because I'm not like he comes over on Friday nights and I'm so comfortable with that.

You know, he'll bring me food and you know, we'll have a bottle of wine and then we'll ****. And it's so comfy. Like even though we're not in a relationship it's comfy and I don't want.

Mel: To and it's better than being the uncomfort.

Suzie : Like no one wants to be uncomfortable anymore.

Mel: No, but I Mean, that's the point. If, if you are happy with that and you kind of recognize that, but it kind of takes somebody's pretty evolved and a grown up to know.

Suzie : Yeah.

Mel: That this is what this is. This is a nice thing where we kind of like each other and we have sex and we have enjoy dinner or going out or traveling or whatever the hell you like doing together.

But this is never going anywhere. That takes kind of grownups to really understand that and that if you want a full relationship, this isn't the person. This is fine for now and this is comfortable.

But if I'm going to do this, I'm going to have to do something else the rest of the time to meet the person to get me the thing that I want, if that makes sense.

But most people can't do that.

Suzie : No.

Mel: Can they?

Suzie : Unfortunately not.

Mel: Because it's too much effort.

Suzie : People don't want to put an effort. People literally don't want to. Like us millennial girlies. We'll talk about it all the time. Like we literally wore stripper heels to the bar.

Danced on the ******* bar. Like are in the club. There was. If you wore sneakers, you have whole sneakers. Freak girl. Like, it was, it was. So you're a lesbian.

Like, I swear to God, like you. If you were a hot little girl and you were trying to find a guy.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie : In your early 20s or even like, you know, you're saying like 14 to like 18 or whatever. Like you wore heels.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie : But people because of COVID and this is a little bit. And I don't blame anyone for this. Like, heels are ******* uncomfy.

Mel: They're horrible.

Suzie : They're horrible. And if you can wear sneakers, like, it's super stylish now to wear sneakers. You're gonna wear sneakers. And it's weird to wear heels now out and about.

Mel: Oh, I know. If you look at people so comfortable.

Suzie : People don't want to be uncomfortable.

Mel: I never see and I wear sneakers a lot because I have uncomfortable feet. But.

And you know, I'm not trying to find somebody. But I mean, you look, if you look at people. Most people are not dressed up in any situation. Yeah.

Suzie : They do not want to put effort in.

Mel: Women are not wearing.

Women are not wearing like heels and nice clothes and whatever. And men look like they're about to go plant a tree or something. They're not like wearing something for dinner.

And we talked about this in previous episodes, like looking nice looking like. Yeah.

Suzie : Dating etiquette. Like, can you just dress up a.

Mel: Little bit if you want to attract somebody. I mean it's not rocket science.

Suzie : People are lazy now. People do not put the effort in.

Mel: To attract someone because the other person doesn't. And on it goes. Yeah, yeah, I agree. So going back to Steve to finish this. Steve is right. It is just dating or like whatever the thing before dating is.

Is there a word for that?

Suzie : I don't know.

Mel: Oh, I know.

What do Gen Z's? One of my kids call it. They call it. Is it talking or they call it something Talking stage. No, they call it ****. What do they call it?

They call. Oh my God, I can't remember this, I'm just going senile. They call it not chatting.

Like, because the other thing about Gen Zs, which I find so strange is when they're going out, they actually say, do you want to be my girlfriend? They actually have that conversation.

Do you want to what? Be my girlfriend? Oh, they actually say like they date and then let's say they're. They'll be my girlfriend. Yeah, they're going out on dates and they're seeing each other all the time.

I think we can safely assume your girlfriend or boyfriend, but they actually have to officially say it. Ask.

Suzie : Yeah.

Mel: Will you be married? I remember that time.

Suzie : Yeah, yeah. No, never happened for you? No, it's just something that happened.

Mel: Well, obviously you were boyfriend, girlfriend. But then there are issues of consent and blah, blah, blah. But I mean. Yeah, but that's what it is, isn't it? It's asking. Whereas I think if you're people are.

Suzie : Afraid to ask, you're dating. People are also just dating Way too many people online now.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie : You have way too many choice. Way too much choice.

Mel: Yeah. What is that thing where you talk to people and you're not talking and you're like, oh God, it's a Gen Z term.

And they're sort of like,

I don't know, before they're actually dating. They're sort of. So yeah. So what is that? Technically, if you're on an app or something and you've met somebody in whatever digital whatever it is, and you're talking and then you're talking a lot before you actually date, what is that?

Suzie : **** if I know. Is there a word for that Gen Z term? Do you want to look it up quick?

Mel: Is there a term for it? What is that? What is the technical term? Flirting would have been the old fashioned term. So what are you doing?

Suzie : You're not going steady yet.

Mel: You're, you're doing the thing before you're dating. Well, courting is the old term. Yeah, but courting is definitely dating. So what?

Suzie : Talking stage.

Mel: Yeah, thank you very much. I was right.

Suzie : Didn't I just say that?

Mel: Maybe you did.

Suzie : Courting.

Mel: Courting is old fashioned. But like.

Yeah,

what is. Yeah. And then what is the thing you're doing when you're not technically boyfriend and girlfriend? Because as far as I'm concerned, you're in a situationship.

Yeah. But maybe that's why situations have no commitment. Because there wasn't a word.

Suzie : Because you're just dating.

Mel: Because it's not a one night stand and it's not friends with benefits. It's a bit more.

Suzie : No, yeah, you're just dating someone with no commitment. So you're still people because you're meeting people online still.

Mel: Well, but one person definitely has the hopes you.

Suzie : Well, because why else would you be still seeing some. Seeing that person if you don't have that connection or you still don't want to. You don't want to take it further.

That's what doesn't make sense to me.

Mel: Because you're attracted them. You just don't want a relationship but.

Suzie : One of them does is what we're saying.

Mel: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Suzie : I don't know. It's very confusing.

Mel: It's very confusing and I just.

Suzie : And I've been in quite a few situationships and they never work out. No, but that's okay, you know, but it's nothing.

Mel: But as long as you know that and you're like, this is fine, you know, as long as you're aware of it. But if you're not aware of it, you're doomed, aren't you?

Doomed. You are doomed.

Like that's what. People have to stop talking about this, don't they? Like, you know, get a grip, get a *******.

Suzie : Well guys, if you guys have been in the talking stage or the courtship time or,

or you're in a current situationship and you're like how the hell do I get out of this and get into the dating part or into the relationship with this person because I actually like them.

You guys go to sharemytruth.com send us an email, send us a voicemail. You can go to share my truth pod on any of our socials. You can DM us. We'd love to hear from you.

Mel: We would.

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Mel: Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at sharingmytruth pod and leave us a voicemail on our website sharingmytruth.com to share your stories and experiences with us.

We'll see you next time. Bye Bye.

Three, two, one. Yeah.