Suzie: Welcome to Sharing My Truth with Mel and Suzie. The uncensored version where we bear it all.

Mel: We do. 1, 2, 3, 4.

Suzie: And hello, everyone, and welcome back to Sharing My Truth. Pod, you're here with Mel and Susie and we are so excited that you have joined us today. Thank you so much for listening.

We love ya. And here's a quick little friendly reminder, too. Follow us on all of our socials at sharemitch with Pod, where you can DM us. You can watch all of our stuff there if you want, a little clips of our little episodes on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube.

And also if you want to go to sharemytuth.com you can also chat with us, you can email us, you can actually send us a real voicemail and you may even be on the podcast.

Hey, babes.

Mel: Hello. I'm having some trouble with my mind.

Suzie: Yeah, you are.

Mel: I moved it. And that's faithful.

Suzie: Just looks like a metal little *****.

Mel: It does a bit.

Suzie: So just handle it like you would.

Mel: Hello, darling.

Suzie: Hello, darling.

Mel: Okay, we're getting there.

Suzie: I think it's fine.

Mel: Yeah. All right. There we go. Oh, it's just.

Suzie: It's one of those. That curve, you know?

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: You have to kind of curve with it.

Mel: Yeah. Thanks, Susie.

Suzie: That's my advice for the day. Okay,

we are going to start this series of episodes. This is gonna be part one. And we're gonna do some red flag and green flag dating things and relationship X and whatever.

Because I feel like a lot of people have very strong opinions of what is a red flag and what is a green flag. Because it is so different for so many people and especially for men and women.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: As to what is actually a red flag and what is a green flag and even a yellow flag, you know, like, really, does that even matter? Like, why are we even.

Mel: Yellow flag.

Suzie: Yeah. So, like, it's like, yeah, maybe, like, who cares? You know?

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: You can be in the middle if you want to be okay.

Mel: About a yellow flag. Yeah.

Suzie: Oh, really? So we do have. We're going to speak through five today, and if you guys have any of your red flags or green flags that you guys are passionate about, let us know because we'll talk about them on the pod too.

But let's start it out. And this is a big red flag for me.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie: I'll just. I'll just point there.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Um, if somebody. Either before you go on the date with them or while, like, if you're on the date with them or you're about to **** them, if Someone asks about your body count.

I hate that term as well.

Um, if someone asks how many people you've slept with,

like they care. Like it's a decision maker in their mind of if they're gonna **** you. And it's like, you should be lucky enough to **** me anyways, Whatever.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: Um, thank you very much. But that's a big red flag for me.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: What do you think about it?

Mel: Obviously not a question that comes up for me very often in my life. It's possible,

but I. I just feel in the modern world, it just seems. I don't really understand why it's relevant. Because everyone's sleeping around. I mean, like men and women. So. Because I often feel this question seems to be asked a lot about women.

And I know it's like a big thing for like certain men. Male communities, you know, the sort of extreme one that have a problem with it. And I don't. Why is it okay for men to sleep around and not for women?

That's the thing I don't really understand. And hello, who do you think the men are sleeping with? Women.

So if the men.

Suzie: Maybe not.

Mel: Well, that's true. But if the men are sleeping around, they're sleeping with women. Everyone.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: I'm not. I don't really understand why it's relevant. I do think if it is a thing for you,

maybe you should get it out of the way very early on.

Suzie: Don't you want someone who is experienced in pleasure measuring? Yeah, I'm gonna sleep with someone.

Mel: Yeah. I mean, I. I would think. Yeah. If you're a sort of evolved human.

Suzie: Being, it's like you're going to the doctor. You want that doctor to be a first year res.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: Or you want them to be a very experienced surgeon. Who do you want to be speaking to? Who do you want inside your body?

Mel: Wow.

Suzie: And that's someone who has experience.

Mel: Wow.

Suzie: But obviously, just because you have experience doesn't mean you haven't been like, safe.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Condoms and whatever. It doesn't mean that you haven't been safe, you know?

Mel: Is that what the question's about, though?

Suzie: I don't think so. I think it's literally like men think that if you a lot. Women, women a lot, then you're gonna be loose. Which I also hate that ******* term so much because that, that is not what happens.

Mel: I've heard that so many times.

Suzie: And the uneducation of our sexual sex education system, like, it's so obnoxious.

Mel: Exactly. And the men who are saying it, FYI, you Are highlighting the fact that you haven't.

Suzie: Oh, my God.

Mel: Because it's. Look it up on Google. Google it. It's a myth. It doesn't happen. It is very elastic and it goes back.

Suzie: Well, it's like you really. You could just.

Mel: It's only childbirth.

Suzie: You wanna **** her in the ***. Like, go ahead. But like, it's just like, you wanna go **** men then if you hate women so much. Right?

Mel: Yeah. It's a ridiculous comment. It is not true. Like I said, go Google it. It is an urban myth. The only way that. And it's a revolting thing to say that women can become loose is after childbirth.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: That is. That is it.

Suzie: And obviously there's a lot of things. You're pushing out a watermelon, people.

Mel: Yeah, you try do it. It's not fun. And you know, my babies came out my stomach. Not.

Suzie: Yeah, that's horrible.

Mel: That wasn't fun either. But it's a stupid thing to say. And it. So I don't know what it is about this body count thing. I think there's this obviously misogynistic element that men think that women are modern, women are sleeping around too much, are too loose,

are too, you know, slutty, basically. But I just don't really understand why is it okay for you to be sleeping around and on Hinge and Tinder and all the rest of it and the women aren't?

Because who do you think you're going out with? So I find it very bizarre. I don't. How does it come up in conversation?

Suzie: I have no idea. I would never even. Like, usually I go out with older people. As in like late 30s to 50s, 50ish. And like those, those people. I've never ever had that conversation.

I think it is a conversation. The only time I think you should be talking about it is like if you're just curious about the other person.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And if they're willing to give up that information and you're talking about sex and you know, you're having a educational and like respectful conversation about sex and your experiences, then sure, you can talk about like, I'll give that,

like my, my two cents about that in two seconds. If I'm talking to the right person about it. But if someone's coming at it from a judgmental question, then I'm not gonna.

Mel: Yeah, I, I really think that if that is an issue for you, then obviously both parties should walk away.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: And I, I think it's. I think it's a very odd question. We're not in the Middle Ages.

Suzie: We're not in the Middle Ages. And also, like, if you're dating women. If you're dating women who are in.

Mel: Their 20s, what do you think they've been doing?

Suzie: I'm sorry?

Mel: Playing Monopoly.

Suzie: You know, like, are you doing someone younger than that? That's a red flag for me, too. Of course.

Mel: I mean, it's a stupid thing. If somebody is of a certain age, I. E. They're not, you know, you're not very, very, very young.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Then obviously they have a past. It's a ridiculous question and. But some people get very hung up about it. Yeah, I. I don't know why. I really don't. I personally don't think it's anybody's business.

I mean, I don't know. When does the question come about? You know, have you had any checks or whatever? Like, you know? Like, have you had, you know. Oh, when do you have that conversation?

Suzie: I don't think it matters. Do they have.

No. Yeah. So, like, if they have had ones and they don't have them right now, I don't think that's a question before you have sex, but I think if. So I always ask if I'm sleeping with someone new.

Like, when's the last time you were tested?

Mel: Oh, really?

Suzie: Always before I sleep with them.

Mel: But how do you know whether they're telling the truth?

Suzie: Well, you don't. But you use a condom anyways, right? Okay, so.

Mel: So you do have that conversation always.

Suzie: But it's mostly just. It's just like an A. It's a question.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie: It's not like a. I'm judging you. Like, tell me about your whole health history. It's more just like, hey, when's the last time you've been tested? I want to suck your ****.

Mel: Wow.

Suzie: And.

Mel: And you put it like that. Do you?

Suzie: Yeah, I try to. I try to keep it fun and light, but it's more just like you want to be. You obviously have to be safe for yourself.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: You can also hopefully tell if someone's lying maybe about it. Like, about the last time they've been tested, I guess.

Mel: I don't know.

Suzie: Who knows? Obviously have a condom available if you are looking to actually sleep with that person. But I think it's mostly just like, be honest. And also get tested regularly if you are sleeping with other people and, you know, if you have had, like, gonorrhea in the past, which is something that is able to be just taken care of with medication,

then you obviously don't have to tell them then if you don't have it. But if you have something that is serious and you should.

Mel: Oh, my God. Yeah.

Suzie: Like, you should tell that person. Obviously, that could affect their entire life.

Mel: That's awful.

Suzie: And also, that's also a red flag if, like, you're not like, telling them up front being like, hey, I just want to let you know this is what's going on. Don't worry, I'm taking care.

I'm taking care of it. Or something like that. And I'll just, like, passing it around.

Mel: Yeah. I mean, Jesus. Yeah.

Suzie: This is the things you have to worry about now. Mal, aren't you so happy that you're not in the dating game?

Mel: Oh, my God, I'm so happy. And I just. I'm not sure I could ever be bothered to go back into it if I ever had to. I mean, I'd be like 105 anyway.

But I mean, I. Yeah, it just seems so complicated.

Suzie: I just don't think it's a. It's not like STDs or STIs are not a shameful thing. I think there's just a part of life and if you are sleeping with people, then you have to take that risk.

It's just like getting pregnant. Well, you have to take on that risk.

Mel: Yeah. And you have to be accountable if something goes wrong. If you're an adult, like, behave like an adult.

Suzie: Exactly. You want to have sex, you. There's consequences to your actions. I agree. As a. An adult would say. Okay, second one, I'll ask you.

Mel: Okay, go on then.

Suzie: If they don't have a driver's license and let's say they're like 20, obviously. Obviously up your alley.

Mel: A man, a boy.

Suzie: A man or a woman.

Mel: Well, or either.

Suzie: Is it a red flag to one, not the other.

Mel: 20 is quite young. So a lot of kids today because of, like, Covid and especially in Canada, you have all the levels.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: So some of them are a bit late.

Suzie: Let's say they're 30.

Mel: Yeah, 20. Because a lot of them are doing like their G and stuff when they're 20. 30. I think there's a problem.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: I particularly. And I know this is. This is pretty sexist, to be honest with you.

It's weird, right? I mean, if you're a man and you don't have a driving license, it's odd.

Suzie: So it's a very interesting thing because I'm from Alberta.

Mel: Yeah, well, you have to drive.

Suzie: You have to drive. So at 16. Well, at 14, you can get your learners and at 16, you get your license at 14, you get your learners. You can't drive on your own, but that just means you can drive with a parent or car.

Mel: Can you drive at 16?

Suzie: You can drive at 16.

Mel: Did you get your license at 6? Yes.

Suzie: Because there's nothing. You can't do anything else unless you can drive. So I was driving since I've been 16 and. But that's what everyone does in. If you're in a place where there's no public transit and you like, how else are you going to get around?

You have to bus. Like disgusting for like, it's just, it's the worst. And it's freezing out. So it's like if you don't have a car, you can't really do anything or.

And there was, there wasn't. I didn't grow up with Uber.

Mel: No.

Suzie: Right, yeah. Um, so. But here I can see why people don't get their license.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Like if you public transit is good, you live downtown.

Mel: I think there's a difference between not having a license and having a car when you live in big. I know a lot of people live in New York and even now it's becoming a trend in London who don't own a car for several reasons.

It is incredibly expensive. It is not just the purchase of the car. Insurance is insane sane because of everything gets stolen all the time. And then,

you know, I was recently in New York and they seem to have a congestion chart. There's a congestion charge in London. When you drive into the center, they charge you money.

Suzie: Oh my God.

Mel: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. And you just don't need a car to drive in the center of, you know, the city. Obviously you need a car when you're grocery store and stuff like that.

But it's very easy in a city like London, depending where, where you live and particularly like New York, to not need a car. I mean you can get everything delivered.

You can't drive anywhere anyway in New York or London the traffic is horrendous. So I do understand that. And kids, you know, I grew up for a certain part of my life or I always grew up, I was always living in cities,

wherever it was. So I did not need a car. And I actually learned to drive quite late because I didn't need a car.

I lived in London and I lived in Rome and I lived in Paris. You do not need a car. The transport is amazing.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: And then, you know, anytime you're going to go out at night, well, you're going to drink or whatever you're not going to drive. Yeah, I know that in certain parts of Canada and the U.S.

that becomes all a little, you know, loosey goosey and people are drinking and it's the same in like rural parts of England. People are, you know, drinking and driving and they shouldn't be and whatever.

But I think if you're like 30 or something and you haven't. I think it's a bit different. Early 20s, especially today. Because also you go to university, most university towns, you don't need a car.

And it's just so, so expensive. And it's not just the car, it's the.

Suzie: But then if you don't have a driver's license. Yeah, right. Like it's like that license is freedom, right? Like you need to rent a car. If you're 25 or whatever, then you can do it.

If you can. If you need to get a car because of your new job, then you can do it. Like if you don't have a license, I feel like you're just so you, you don't have as much choice.

Mel: No, you need them as an adult. You need to do it. Like you need to get a license.

Suzie: Just the license.

Mel: And the problem.

Suzie: You don't need a car.

Mel: The problem is if you leave it, I mean, I think, right.

Suzie: If you leave it, then you're like, oh, now I'm like, what am I going to do?

Mel: It just gets harder and harder and harder. And I think if you're sort of like 30 and you haven't got the driving license, you really should go and get one. Even if you don't intend to drive.

Like, you know, like you said, if you're away on vacation or anything, like it's very, it becomes tricky, right?

But I think we will see less and less people with licenses. Because the other thing to consider, and this is very boring and really off topic, is that it's so expensive to even get your driving license.

Is it? Oh my God. Like in Toronto, lesson is about 100 bucks an hour. Then you do have to take lessons here you don't.

Suzie: Or is it just better for you?

Mel: You don't have to. But think about it this way,

like your parents and you have a very nice car. You're not like the kids are not learning in your car.

Suzie: Got it.

Mel: They're like going to learn in the driving lesson car and then, then they charge you for the driving test they tried you for.

Suzie: Yeah, no, I know that.

Mel: Just crazy on and on and on. And then the driving test I think is like $90, right. So I Mean, that's the reason why a lot of people don't do it.

It's just. And then they're like, well, I don't need a car, so why am I doing it?

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And then if you're going to live in a city and even a city like Toronto, you can get around everywhere.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And it's, it's, if you Uber, it's cheaper anyway, that's enough about cars. But yeah, it's true.

Suzie: So try to get your license, guys.

Mel: I think it could be a big.

Suzie: Red flag for people.

Mel: I think so.

Suzie: I think it's a red flag. But if you don't have your license.

Mel: And in North America it's weird. Like everyone, you need to drive, everyone drivers, everyone drives now.

Suzie: And then you can just, you can start an Uber career if you want, you know, just make money. Okay, this is a bit of a controversial one.

Mel: Go on then.

Suzie: And it's specific to one of the genders. Okay. If men love their moms too much.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Is that a red flag?

Mel: Do you want me to answer?

Suzie: Of course.

Mel: Okay, so I think it's great if a man likes, loves his mum and specifically men who are good to their parents. It's very appealing.

Suzie: So hot.

Mel: If they're like kind and nice and take their time even when they don't have time.

I think it's really nice. But I think if you are like a little bit too close or you're like sort of a 30 or 35 year old man and you're on the phone all the time to your mum, it's a bit weird.

And if you are sort of continuously taking her advice and then when you're in a relationship,

she cannot be more important than the woman. The woman is the most important always. The mother is never. I'm sorry, I mean, I, I mean if I had boys, I'd have to accept that.

Suzie: Right?

Mel: You know, the girl, your wife trumps the mother. You are on a path of death and destruction if you go the other way.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: It's just not a good plan.

Suzie: Yeah, no, I think it's, I think it's weird because it's like when does it get too far? Right? And it's like I, I've always, I've always been like, like I love my family.

I've always been like close. Ish. But we don't have like a group or we do have a group. Like, you know what I mean? Like there's just like, we don't really, we don't, like, we don't talk every day.

That's for sure. I'm 29 years old and I'm a woman, and I've lived, like, away from the family for a really long time. I don't talk to my family every day.

Definitely don't talk to my. Like, I probably talk to them maybe once a week.

And so if a guy that I was dating was talking to his mom every day, and I'm like, why?

Mel: Yeah, it just seems like you can't.

Suzie: Like, figure things out for yourself.

Mel: Yeah, I mean. Yeah, I think it's sort of. I mean, obviously there are situations where people have family businesses and stuff like that, but I think.

Suzie: Yeah, that's totally different. I think it's like. If it's business, I get that. But if it's like mommy.

Mel: Yeah, exactly. And it's super personal.

Suzie: What did you do today? And it's like non.

Mel: Or the. Or the other thing. If the womb. If the mother is super critical of the girl.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: Or even very early on and sort of sets. That's very concerning.

Suzie: You have to have real family boundaries.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Especially when you're in a relationship.

Mel: Mom should know to butt out. But you basically don't want to marry too much or be involved with too much of a mama's boy.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: Because it's a bit. Because I think if the boy, the man, whatever, needs to be looked after by his mother, it's not a good sign for you, is it?

Suzie: No, it's not. See, that's the problem. Right.

Mel: It's a really bad sign.

If I, like,

I. Obviously, you know, I have to go back to personal experience. But my husband is very good with his parents. He's great with them. He does so much for them.

But he's not a mama's boy at all.

He's very capable and has never been a mama's boy. And so that's very appealing. It's like. Cause you think, oh, my gosh, that man's so good at looking after the parents or, you know, older, then they're obviously aging now.

It's like, wow, then he's gonna be very good with me. And I think that's what a lot of women and also men see. Like, if you're good generally with those relationships with limits, it's appealing, isn't it?

Suzie: Yeah, absolutely. It's just having those healthy boundaries so that you can move on with your life and, like, make sure that they're not going to be, like, totally devastated if you just, like, go on a trip or something like that, or like all of these normal things that should happen in your adult life.

Mel: Exactly. I mean, there's a point, like, you know, my girls aren't quite there yet, but there's a point where they don't have to be telling you when they're going out. I mean, obviously, like, even when they go from high school and move to university.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: I don't know where they are or when they're going out, but I know people are a bit nuts about that.

Suzie: Yeah, people have become a lot more nuts.

Mel: That's ridiculous. You can't worry about it. They live in a different city.

Suzie: So. Red flag.

Mel: Yeah, it's a red flag.

Suzie: Yeah, that's Mel's.

Mel: Mel's.

Suzie: Mel said it. Okay, next one.

If people, let's say men or women,

if they don't have a life plan.

I think this depends on how old they are.

Because honestly, like, I have a mental plan of, like, how I want my life to look.

But do I have a plan of all the steps that I'm going to take to get there?

Mel: Yeah, no, not particularly, no. I don't think you're going to have that when you're very young, but I think you have a sense of direction.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: So I think, like, if you're like dating a woman or a man, and let's say they're young, like 25 or whatever, 24, and they even at that point just can't get their **** together, Right.

I think that they can ultimately get their **** together and that's pretty cool if they do that. But if they're sort of like they've dropped out of school and they're just like, I'm just gonna live at home and do whatever,

you know, like, okay, drop out of school, but go and do something. I mean, by the way, my. Either. My children cannot drop out of school, so. But it's like.

But have a plan.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: I appreciate that. You know, let's say undergrad, you know, post secondary education, going to university is not for everyone. But have a plan. Do something. Do something constructive and interesting with your time.

But it doesn't have to be. Obviously, you have no idea at 20,

you know, life. And life has a habit of doing that. You sort of have a plan and you think you're going here and you end up here.

Suzie: Totally.

Mel: But that's fine. That's completely fine. As long as you have a direction that you're going in. Yeah, that's fine.

Suzie: So the people with no direction is concerned, like, chill, let it happen. Figure it out.

Mel: I think, yeah, they won't figure it out. No, I tell you what the red flag would be for me is no sense of urgency about life and time. The sense of urgency, it bothers me a lot.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: In people or situations when people have no sense of urgency, I'm like, you know, let's get on with it.

And that's what it is. It's not. You obviously don't know exactly what the steps are. You know, you want to get to this point in your life and you maybe want these things or whatever.

You could be fairly clueless at 20, like, how the hell am I going to get there? Oh, yeah, I mean, I understand that, but having some direction. And I truly think you want to try and meet somebody who wants to go in the same direction and is aiming for the same things.

Like if you, for example, want to live in a nice house in Rosedale and the guy you meet wants to live in a van and drive around.

Suzie: California or whatever, nothing wrong with either of those.

Mel: Absolutely nothing wrong with either of them. You are probably not going to last.

So maybe if you want to live a life in a van. And I say this because I've been watching Tick Tocks about this couple that live in a van.

Suzie: No, I can't.

Mel: And I'm just like, I can't. I don't. I'm.

Suzie: That actually stresses me out. It's just. I mean, I watch them when they.

Mel: Go to the toilet.

Suzie: This is psychotic.

Mel: It bothers me. Like, where's the toilet? Where's the bath? Where's the chat? It really bothers me. I get very bothered by. Although. Although. I'm actually super impressed by their ability.

Suzie: No, I'm so impressed. But I'm also just like the anxiety that this gives me, like, it makes me anxious.

Mel: Yeah. Just like,

where do you sit? Where do you read, where do you watch tv? It gives me anxiety. Although impressive that they can do it. But that's the point. If you both want to live in a van, great.

And you both want to travel, you're both not materialistic, great. But if you are materialistic, for example, and want certain kind of, I guess, financial milestones and you're with somebody that doesn't, there will be disaster along the way.

Because I've seen it so many times, you've got to have some kind of similar values going in some kind of similar direction. You don't have to like everything the same, but you need to be going in the same somewhat direction.

Yes.

Suzie: Yeah, yeah. Careers are hard. Like, I've been through probably five since I've met you, which is fine. No, it's honestly good. Like, you have to do things to figure out what you don't like.

And so if you don't like, if there's 20 somethings year olds or even 30 something year olds or whoever, maybe you're in your 50s and you're still like, I don't actually like my career.

I'm gonna split pivot. It's great to pivot.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: But just do that with another sense of, like, happiness, excitement, passion.

Mel: Yeah. But also just do it. Dose yourself off. Go. Okay, that didn't work. Let's do this.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And I, I admire that. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with. Reinvent yourself as many times as you like.

Suzie: So, yeah. Someone doesn't have direction, that's a red flag. But if someone's pivoting and they're, they have, they have an enthusiasm for life, that's a green flag.

Mel: Oh, 100%.

Suzie: We don't have any green flags on our list.

Mel: I guess I love a bit of enthusiasm. No, we don't. Ok, negative.

Suzie: So, I mean, here's the thing. And this could go both ways.

Mel: Oh, really?

Suzie: Men who are good with their hands. As in.

Mel: Oh, right.

Suzie: As in their handiness around the house.

Mel: Yeah. I think huge green flag. I think it's, it's, it's really good thing because it says a lot about that guy.

And I don't mean, like, he's able to, like, rework the plumbing.

Suzie: Oh, my God.

Mel: I mean, some men are amazing. They can like, you know, I don't like this bathroom. And then you come back two days later and they've redone it.

Suzie: One of the biggest things that I miss about my ex, because he was extremely handy.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Is just the way that I would just ask him to do something and it would just be.

He. He could do it. And I'm like, I would never have to figure something out. I never build anything.

Mel: I've never built anything in my life.

Suzie: But now I have to build things. Now I have to hang stuff.

Mel: I've never.

Suzie: It sucks, Mal.

Mel: I've never hung a picture. I've never wired a plug, which is terrible. They're more complicated.

Suzie: There's a light bulb in my kitchen I have to redo.

Mel: I've never done that.

Suzie: I'm gonna have to do that. I don't even know how to do that.

Mel: I don't do that. I've never done that. He knows how to fix everything.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And the thing is, if Max can't do it, he'll just YouTube it. And he'll figure it out because he can't stand it if he can't do it. He's gotta figure it out.

So he'll figure it out. I mean, he can't like redo the bathroom. He has limits. But that's fine. Like, if there's something wrong, he can fix it. Whereas I know men who are like, you know, useless.

Completely useless. Like, you know, they'd have to hire somebody to put a blind up or to change a light bulb or something's fallen off something. Yeah, they'd have. They couldn't figure it out.

And that's actually as a woman, again, very traditional, but super stressful because I'm just like, well, I can't do it. So how do we do it? Yeah. And so, no, I feel really good, like,

about that. Like, my husband's super handy and he can fix pretty much everything. Oh, that's good. And if he doesn't know how to do it, then he figures it out.

Or obviously tells me to call someone else.

Suzie: No.

Mel: It's so hot, but so hot.

Suzie: If someone, if a guy can absolutely.

Mel: Like, he's in control and he can.

Suzie: And it's. And it's done.

Mel: Well. Yes, yes.

Suzie: The worst thing is though, when you've asked a man to do something and you know he can do it.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: But he takes his ******* time doing it.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Because I don't want to be a nag.

Mel: Oh, I'm happy to be a nag.

Suzie: But that's the thing. I'm like, I don't want to nag you when I'm asking you something.

Mel: You have to be strategic about your nagging, though.

Suzie: They'll suck your **** if you do this.

Mel: Well, that probably helps. Yeah. But I just think you can't go. You have to kind of think about when you're going to ask again.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: You can't, like endlessly be, you know, a sort of horrible old woman and just keep going on and on about it. You have to, like, think about when you, you can't.

Like he's got all this stuff to do and you're going to go on about the picture.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: You gotta time it. Timing is everything in a relationship, Susie. Timing. When you say things, do things, it's everything for men and women.

Suzie: It's a little bit of manipulation.

Mel: Oh, 100%. Yeah. Be conscious of it. Conscious of it. Yeah.

Suzie: Well, I agree, darling. Like, you got to have a handyman. And especially with his, you know, in the other places too.

Mel: It's very helpful.

Suzie: It's very Helpful if he's handy with his hands and the other parts as well.

Mel: Even as old, you know, as old as you. As old as you get. You could be 95 and it's still.

Suzie: How I love a man. It's good with his hands.

Mel: Yeah. I mean, I think that's. That's a must.

Suzie: It's a must, boys. So get it together. If guys, if you just, like, figure out how to use a drill. It's hot.

Mel: It is.

Suzie: I just have a drill around the house.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: Just make her think that you're doing something with that drill, and she's going to want to drill you later, I promise.

Mel: Don't leave the jobs. It is actually really annoying if you say if it's half done or something. Oh, you say, God, you say you're gonna do something, and six months, it's still not done.

Yeah. It's infuriating. Yeah.

Suzie: So, yeah, just stick to your word. That's a green flag.

Mel: It is.

Suzie: That's a green flag.

Mel: Green flag. Do what you say you're gonna do. And FYI, if you can't do it, please own up very quickly.

Suzie: Seriously. Because no one likes to. If you have something that looks like ****, like if the fridge is broken and you're like, I got it. I gotta fix it. And you don't.

And then you got spoiled milk the next day.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And yeah, you just wasted everyone's time.

Mel: You did.

Suzie: Own up.

Mel: Own up. Yeah.

Suzie: Well, if you guys have any other green flags or red flags you guys want us to talk about, we'd love to chat with you about it. You can always go to Share my truth Pod where you can DM us your ideas.

And you can also go to share my truth.com, where you can email us or voicemail us and then we'll catch you next time.

Mel: We will. Thanks.

Suzie: Bye.

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Mel: Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at Sharing My Truth Pod and leave us a voicemail on our website, sharingmytruth.com to share your stories and experiences with us.

We'll see you next time. Bye.

Suzie: Bye.

Mel: Three, two, one.