Suzie : Welcome to Sharing My Truth with Mel and Suzie. The uncensored version where we bear it all.

Mel: We do. 1, 2, 3, 4.

Suzie : And hello everyone and welcome back to Share My Truth Pod. You're here with Mel and Suzie. Thanks so much for tuning in with us today and welcome back. If you're an avid listener, we appreciate it so much.

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Mel: Hey, babes. Hello, darling.

Suzie : Hello, darling. How are you?

Mel: I'm fabulous. Fine. All is good. All is fab. All is calm now. Yes, everything's fine.

Suzie : That sounds good.

Mel: I've solved all the problems for today.

Suzie : You're very good at solving problems.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie : I feel like I just sit here and relax and you're constantly,

you're constantly putting up fires. You have much more things to do than I do, obviously. You have two kids, a husband.

That's pretty much it, right? You're fine.

Not that many things. No, no,

you don't work. That's insane. How could you just polish your princess? Yes.

Oh, well,

we have a fun little EPI today.

You know, we've had a few people send in questions to us and so we're going to kind of compile those questions into one big questionnaire and we'll, we'll try to answer the questions and then maybe we'll ask you guys some questions too.

And you guys can,

can answer them within our DMS or,

or email us.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Mel: Tickety dock.

Suzie : So these are some of the biggest because some of them were repeats.

So these are the biggest men's questions about or for women,

and they have to do with dating relationships.

And so we're going to kind of go through some of them and we'll see what you say. Mel. Okay.

Mel: I'm on the spot. On the spot, darling.

Suzie : All right, we'll start with an easy one. Okay.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie : So the boys ask, what do women actually notice first in a Man?

Mel: Hmm.

That's a good question.

Yeah. I don't think women or all women necessarily notice that he's conventionally gorgeous. I think it's a sort of more of a package thing.

Suzie : It's a package thing. But if you're just like, his aura.

Mel: The aura, to me,

I think, like,

you know, and I am obviously not dating or scouting around for men, but when you meet men.

Most of the men I meet are, like, friends or colleagues or kind of business associates of my husband's. And if you meet somebody who's new, a new man because all of his business associates are men,

it's like the aura of somebody, isn't it? Like, you know, they can be kind of attractive enough and,

like, how they present themselves. I don't think.

I personally don't think most women are, like, looking in detail.

You know, is he wearing designer stuff? Is he, you know, amazingly handsome, kind of like movie star handsome? Is he. They're kind of just generally looking. Is he come across really nice?

To me, it's always your personality. And if you have.

If you're kind of fun and you're funny and you're interested. To me,

the men who, like, listen when you speak so hard.

Yeah.

If they continuously talk at you about how amazing they are, I mean, that's it. The shutter's gone down.

Suzie : I love. Cause we've talked about this before. I check out everyone on the street.

Mel: You do. And I don't. Nobody.

Suzie : You literally are focused.

Mel: Great language. No, I don't. I don't look at. I've had that several times. And I've walked down the street and I. And you've.

Suzie : And I'm like, You see that guy?

Mel: And I've noticed nothing. Well, so when I'm not looking, though.

Suzie : No, of course. Exactly. So, like, I'm much more on the prowl.

Mel: You definitely are looking.

Suzie : And so as a single lady looking, always looking for a nice man, I think the first things are confidence.

Mel: Yes. And yes. Yes.

Suzie : A nice pair of kind eyes.

Mel: Yes. Eyes are good.

Suzie : If they're wearing sunglasses,

then I think it's like. It's just like.

I hate the word swag, but it's like the swag of them. Like, it's like just the way that they carry themselves. And, like, you know,

um.

There's this really good Italian word, and now I can't think of it. You speak Italian. Maybe you can help me.

Mel: It's about.

Suzie : It's like a fashion word. It's like when a guy. Or when you're in fashion and everything. Is like perfect, perfect, perfect. But there's one thing about your outfit that makes it just feel like thrown together in like the sexiest way.

Mel: Yeah. Yeah. I can't think. Well,

I mean, that's also a French thing. French women do that. Like everyone thinks they just throw it on, but they've actually. It's a thrown on, curated look.

Suzie : Yes.

Mel: It's not actually thrown, it's just like.

Suzie : Yes. Like, it's like,

it's like you have the great like loafers, you have a great pair of like nice like casual trousers on, but you. This wrinkly linen shirt. But it just goes together so nicely because like everything is like polished.

But then you have one thing that just looks,

you know, just kind of brings it all together and it doesn't look too perfect, I don't think. I think men are under the impression that women want like everything has to be like so detailed and perfect.

But actually usually women want a more rugged and like masculine sexy, just like thrown together but not like dirty, but like.

Mel: I know what you mean.

Suzie : Messy. It's like the tousled hair of a man.

Mel: Well, if you're too curated, then you're narcissistic and that's bothersome. It's, it's a bit like what we've talked about, like to do with self care. If you go too far,

then it's like,

you know, I think it, it does depend. It definitely depends on the woman and some obviously, like, it depends on the man what they're looking for, you know, but these are obviously very generic comments.

But I do think that confidence is very appealing. Yeah. And, and it's a total double standard.

But men really 100% are looking. They're looking at personality for sure. But attractiveness really is up there. I think mental.

And this isn't really fair, can afford to be.

Not conventionally as super handsome.

Suzie : Totally.

Mel: But if they have a great personality,

they, they can make fun of themselves, they're funny, they, they're good to be around and they just have this good energy about them. Yeah, it's very attractive.

Suzie : I love when like a guy just like looks me in the eyes,

you know, I think that's why like, the eyes are so important. It's because, like, you know, I mean, like, like if I catch someone's eyes on the street or something like that, or like in a bar and you just like.

And they,

they don't just like look away,

like catch your eye and then like hold it a little bit. It's like, I'm sweating.

But we'd love, also love to know, like gentlemen,

what is the first thing that you notice on a woman?

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie : Is it the **** or is it the eyes too? Is the lips?

Mel: It depends. With your **** and ***, man.

Suzie : Okay, I'll give you another one, Mel. What do women mean when they say they want a real man?

Mel: I think women,

this is again a double standard and a contradiction in the modern world that we live in. I think women want,

seek out masculine men. They want a man who will step up,

who will support you, who's basically got some big giant balls, not just physically, but just like in his personality.

Suzie : I don't want my balls too big.

Mel: I want to fit at least one in my mouth.

Thanks. Thanks, Susie. But like, who, you know, who can,

who can take pressure, who can, you know, is a rock of a man. And so that's generally like a masculine man. And I think that's where this. And we've, I've said this before, this double standard with women want masculine men and not necessarily some great big sort of, what's that guy?

Liam Hemsworth, sort of hunky Thor looking guy, just masculine, like,

you know, masculine energy. Yeah,

but you want him to be all emotional and in touch with his feelings. Like they don't go together. Yeah. So we gotta sort that out, girls.

Suzie : Yeah, I mean, I don't need, that's. I think it's like men just need to learn how to listen to us. But I also, like, it's okay if you tune us out a little bit.

We will just talk and talk and talk and talk. We just don't want to be told that we're like too emotional, I think. And it's like,

like I just want a guy to be like, I want to talk to you about everything. It's okay if you don't listen to every single thing I'm saying. I just need someone to talk about it with.

Even though you don't have to answer everything saying,

sometimes I have to talk about my girls to you.

And I need a man's perspective because I need a little bit more logic.

Mel: Yeah, that's okay. That's fair. That's fair.

Suzie : And like, yeah, I don't need the emotional side. I want the guy's opinion about it.

Mel: Well, you do, but I don't know if most women do.

Suzie : Never mind. Maybe don't take my advice there.

Okay, I'll ask you a follow up question for this one. Okay,

so then do women actually like nice guys or are they more drawn to the bad boys?

Mel: I think women do. I I do think. It depends.

I think a lot of women.

You like a bad boy, don't you?

I've never liked a bad boy. That's not my shtick, you know, you can imagine that about me. That's.

Suzie : That's kind of a bad boy.

Mel: Is he. He's not, he's cheeky. He's not really bad. He's a little bit cheeky.

Cheeky. But I think I'm not really into the conventional idea of a bad boy. And I never, never have been. And I know a lot of my friends who would never be into that.

And I get it.

But I think a lot of women actually would just like a really nice man.

The problem when you say nice man is it makes people think, oh, he's a bit weak and a bit pathetic and a bit wimpy and blah, blah, blah. I'm not gonna use the modern term cause I hate it.

It starts with an S. But I. That's not, It's a bad use of the word nice. Nice.

Suzie : Yeah. I agree.

Mel: You want like a good guy, a decent guy. I think nice is the wrong word. And you don't want a weak man. I think weakness personally in men is a big problem.

I, I personally would never have gone for a weak man.

Suzie : It's like if it's indecisive, if you like can't handle a situation, it's like, oh, well, let me just take over because I could do this.

Mel: Exactly. It's a turn off. And then. And you know, my husband, he is the complete opposite. Yeah. He can just sort it all out.

Suzie : It was just like great blessing.

Mel: Yeah, you do it.

Suzie : But like I think. And yes, I do like a bad boy. But I've never actually had a boyfriend who was like a bad boy.

Mel: Really bad. I've.

Suzie : No. Yeah. Like I've only dated actually like really nice, genuine guys. Because that's actually what I'm wanting, a partner.

Yeah. I mean, who doesn't want to **** a bad boy?

You know, taught sexy. Yeah, it's like a one night stand type of thing. But if you're actually looking for a girlfriend and you actually are a nice guy and you're genuine and you're kind of putting off that like nice guy energy.

But in a hot, like, I'm gonna take care of you. I'm. I can make decisions, I can like.

Mel: I think it's non ******* energy.

Like, you're not a ****, you're not an *******. I mean, that's the thing is you want a strong man, a man who isn't weak weakness is really not appealing.

But I. Not an.

Suzie : Yeah, because I know friends who have dated,

right? Like you have so many girl like girlfriends who are married to. I know a bunch who have dated them. And I'm like this, I would never choose this in my life.

Mel: Real.

Suzie : And like those guys want a weak woman too. Like those, like those women who are like, who like, want to just kind.

Mel: Of like, oh, you're great.

Yeah.

Yeah. ****** me off.

And it's not fair to women or to men because there are tons of really great, decent men and there are tons of great, really decent women. It's just online we've zoned in on something and it just is more interesting.

So people think that everyone, every man is an ******* and every woman is a gold digging *****. But it's not true.

Have I sorted that?

Suzie : Yeah, I'm definitely a gold digging *****, which is fine. You know, teach their own.

Mel: Anyone?

Suzie : Anyone want to send you a million dollars maybe one day? What are the green flags women actually look for in men?

Mel: Hmm, give me three or two. Oh ****.

Suzie : Maybe one. Give me one.

Mel: Like before the date, on the date sort of thing.

Suzie : I think just like in general,

you're like,

what are you looking for in a guy? What are your three green flags? Not like big ****. You know what I mean? Not like great abs. What are the green flags?

You know, he like, he wants to meet my family or something. I don't know.

Mel: Do you know what I mean? Yeah, that would be weird early on. But I think that if, if the, the guy like, like organizes the date, I think that's really appealing.

Just knows what you like.

I mean, that's amazing if, you know, he's sort of understood what you like and then you get there and like, yeah, I like this restaurant and I like this environment or whatever.

He's organized, whatever. The thing is that he's tuned into you. I think that's a huge green flag. And he hasn't done what he wants to do.

He does what you want to do.

That's very.

I think is a green flag.

Suzie : Yeah, I agree with that. I actually. So I've like these. I've had like two guys do this now and I'm like, really? It's like really hot. Or they're like, they're like, hey, like, like we're going for dinner, whatever, on like Thursday.

I have like a, like I have three places picked out. Like you, like, you choose which place you want to go to.

And they're all places that I love. They're not like chick fil A. And you know what I mean? Like, it's actually like, really, like, nice restaurants are like, yeah, you pick, like, which one would you like to go to?

And like,

although I'm like, I'd like a guy to make decisions. I love that he's asking my opinion as to which I would prefer.

And then he's like, no problem,

we'll do it. And then we know that we're going to have fun and that I'm not going to be disappointed.

Mel: Yeah, I just. I know, again, it is a double standard, but women,

like, if you're going on the date or you're sort of in the early sort of stages,

you want the guy to romance you, don't you? You want him to be doing what you want into you. And I know it's double standard, but that is the truth.

That is absolutely the truth.

A man who is gonna do what he wants to do, I would say to any woman, just,

yeah, walk the other way.

Suzie : Well, you know what? There is that thing, like, let's say. And I know you would hate this because you hate sports.

Mel: I do.

Suzie : But if a guy was like. If it was like one of our, like, first, second, third dates, and he was like, I'm gonna, like, let's go to the hockey game. Which, like, I like hockey.

I'm a hockey girl. But like, if he was like, let's go to a sports game and we actually go. And, like, he makes sure that I'm having fun. Do you know what I mean?

Like, I love that, like, you can do what you want to do. Guys,

like, if we go to a casino, like, and then you, like, let her pick, whatever, you know, you're going to lose money and you're like, here's 200 bucks to lose, like, half.

Like, let's have some fun. Do you know what I mean?

Mel: Like, that. I do.

Suzie : Night.

Mel: I completely. I completely agree with that.

I think that's true. I think he can kind of run it by you and talk to you about it. I agree with that. I really.

That's totally the case. But I think it's more if men are super kind of into themselves and they talk about themselves and they only want to do what they want to do.

The same for women. I mean, I would agree with you about the sports thing actually is something that. Is something.

Something that isn't cool about me. I don't. I wasn't ra. I wasn't brought up,

you know, going to see,

you know, any kind of sport, to be honest with you. So I never really.

Other than I don't mind tennis, but I don't. I've never really been into it,

and so I find it boring. But I actually think that women who like sport a bit, you know, and can go with men and, you know, they're interested in it.

I think that's great. I think there's nothing more appealing than a feminine woman who can do the feminine stuff, but can also go to the hockey or the basketball or the.

The whatever. I think it's really great. And actually, like, both of my daughters, like, one in particular, she loves, you know, hockey and she knows all the rules and foot soccer, and she knows all of it.

And, you know, it's a failing of mine, but I'm. What am I going to do? Am I going to learn this at my age?

Suzie : I think the most important thing is just having a good ******* attitude. Yes.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie : And that's, you know, we're talking about green flags in the men, like, having a good attitude. Maybe this isn't like.

Like she's bringing you to an event that you're like, don't really want to go to. It's like some gala, and you're like, I'd rather stay home and watch the game.

And it's like you're actually there for her.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie : And you are having a good attitude and you're meeting her friends that maybe are not your type of friends, but you're like, you're. You're doing your best to be interested.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie : And you want to make it good for her, not just for you.

Mel: It works both ways.

Suzie : And it works both ways.

Mel: I agree.

And it's like, funny. Like, you're talking. We were talking about sport. Is like, many times I've said I have been to sporting events just before anybody comes to me.

But,

you know, like, my husband's a huge soccer fan, so a huge Arsenal fan in the uk,

and sometimes, very rarely, if he doesn't have somebody to go with, which is almost never.

And I'll say, I'll be nice. And I'll say, I'll go.

I'll go, honestly. And he's like, I can't do that to you. He's like, I will go. He's like, I can't do it to you. You'll be so miserable.

So I have offered and it doesn't work.

So I just like to say that. That I tried. You've tried.

Suzie : You know what, baby? It's not your thing. And he can go with someone who appreciates it, and he does. And he'll have more fun with and.

Mel: And that's always my attitude. There's never a problem with somebody who wants to go see hockey or basketball or.

He's not so much into our school actually, but football.

He never has a problem. So I just feel somebody who enjoys it should be going.

Suzie : Absolutely. Are we done with green flags? Any other ones?

Mel: Green flags? I definitely think somebody with a sense of humor is super, super nice. Yeah.

Suzie : It doesn't take themselves too seriously.

Mel: Yeah, I love that. I love some biggest green flag. I mean generally about people. I love people who don't talk about their job.

I mean they could be like a, you know, a brain surgeon and you wouldn't find out. I think that's amazing. They just got. They're not so into wrapped up.

Suzie : They have other hobbies and they have other things going on.

Mel: Personality.

Suzie : Yes.

Mel: I mean we don't have to talk about that. We're not here. It's not an interview. Yeah.

Not that I know because I don't go on a date on a dates. On a dates.

Suzie : I should bring you to my dates though.

Mel: Yeah. Should I sit there with like a little notepad and analyze like your shrink?

Suzie : Just be like at the table next to us? No one knows.

Mel: That would be funny.

Suzie : They'll know now because they will know now.

Mel: We've told everyone and they've seen my face.

Suzie : Oh my God.

Mel: On the pod. Yeah.

Suzie : But yeah, if there's any other green flags that you guys have,

I would love to know, like what are the green flags guys have for women?

What do you think they would be?

Mel: I think I.

In a sense it's not dissimilar because I think that men obviously they want and I keep using this word like really conventionally, very attractive looking women. But I think if you open your mouth and you're an.

Because you can be a female.

Suzie : Oh.

Mel: Like, you know, you, you sort of go to a restaurant and some, you know, the date turns up sort of almost Victoria model.

Victoria Secret model. Sorry. And then she's an ******* about the food or the restaurant or the waiter or the ******* anything, then it's just like that.

It's flat. Right. Yeah.

Suzie : She'd be the hardest woman in the world. But if she's mean, where the next.

Mel: Girl could come in who's not as technically as attractive, but has a great personality, is super warm, is super fun.

And I think it's the same with men. You know, I do think the attractive thing is maybe a little bit more for men, but I think it's the whole package And I think if you go for somebody who is either an ******* or a *****.

Cause I guess that's the best way of dividing men and women,

eventually it will fall apart because it's fine for a bit and then it's really not fine and not fun.

Whether it's the woman or the man.

It's just exhausting. If you go out with somebody like that, it's exhausting.

Suzie : I think men, and correct me if I'm wrong, but men really look for like loyalty, kindness and like maternal instincts. Is that fair to say?

Mel: I think so. And men can disagree with me, but I think if you're looking for a partner,

if you see. And it's actually something that my husband says about me when he first met me, that he could tell instantly that I was very kind of nurturing kind of person.

And your brain goes to. Because he's, you know, looking at me as a sort of long term mate.

Suzie : That, that he wanted kids, obviously.

Mel: Yeah. That goes to that place. Women who are nurturing, who are warm, who are kind with their friends, who are not like.

Suzie : And no drama.

Mel: Yeah, no drama. Yeah. Or can deal with drama.

Suzie : Can deal with drama.

Mel: You know, relatively calm, I think is quite nice. Yeah. Not bringing in like, just like, not.

Suzie : Excessive amount of, like this doesn't matter. Like, let's put this away.

Mel: Yeah, yeah. And just not this kind of. I mean, obviously men and women can be toxic, but women can do this thing of just like, oh my God,

just shut the up.

You know,

we don't. This is not a crisis that, you know, I know you. You can't find the,

I don't know, a dog home for your dog because you're going on vacation. I'm thinking that because somebody actually did said that to me once. I'm like, you can't be serious.

You cannot actually think this is a problem.

Suzie : Yeah.

Mel: Like something just, you know, I'm going on vacation. I can't get my spray tan and have a towel. You know, you see things like that on TikTok. Or you can't get your pedicure and you just lose your.

And you're horrible to everyone who wants nobody like that in their life. You know, just like, get a grip.

Suzie : Yeah.

Mel: You know, there's some serious problems in the world. Your toes are not part of it.

Suzie : Paint them yourself. Pedicure.

Mel: Paint yourself. Yeah.

Suzie : Okay, so I have a big question, Mel.

Mel: Okay, go on.

Suzie : But this is about relationships. Right up your alley.

Mel: Right.

Suzie : So let's hope you can channel it for the boys.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie : Okay. What's the biggest thing women wish men understood about keeping a relationship alive.

Mel: Hmm. That's a big question. I know. Okay. That's a multifaceted question.

Suzie : Go ahead.

Mel: And I will, from my experience,

I think from my observations of people,

that a lot of men don't understand that you still have to make a lot of effort with your wife.

If you want your wife to sleep with you,

you need to make some effort,

right? Because life is boring and hard and tough and stressful.

She's not gonna suddenly turn up in her va va va mi French underwear.

You know, if you've had a conversation about the fact that you can't pay the bill or something, you know,

you've just taken her to Chick Fil a and that's as exciting as it's got. You know what I mean? Like, you have to make an eff.

Actually, for most women,

there is a misconception. It doesn't have to be super expensive.

That is a part of the Internet where this kind of whole bullshit exists. But the vast majority of women,

they want to be cherished and adored. They really do. It is a female thing. We can say it's a narcissistic thing.

But if your wife.

If you cherish and adore your wife and you genuinely love her and you show that in whatever it is that you do. And again, it doesn't have to be going to Michelin star restaurants and going somewhere nice, you know, maybe you have date night every Wednesday, every other Wednesday.

Whatever the hell it is, it doesn't matter.

I think you will be astonished at what that woman does for you.

She will do anything for you if you treat her. And I hate this word princess,

but I like the word cherish or adore. Right? You really do.

And you think about her.

You think about her in every situation. Like, you know,

my.

Let's say, you know, I'm going out tonight, this is the guy. And you know, my wife's got lots to do. She's. She's at work and she's looking after the kids and maybe she won't have time to make food, but I can just do something before I go out and you make her something and put it in the fridge,

right? Like make her a salad or something or do something or butt pick something.

It's these very small things make a massive, massive difference in life.

And I see a lot of men and women, but we're talking about men, they don't do that. They ignore all this stuff because it's hard and it is difficult to do it on a Continuous basis.

But if you keep thinking about your woman in your life that you love, if you don't love her, that's a whole different conversation.

Suzie : Absolutely.

Mel: And you do things for her and you're very thoughtful.

I personally think you will be amazed at what she does for you. And I mean pretty much anything.

Help you with anything.

And all this kind of wokery pokery bullshit about you can't.

You can't.

You shouldn't be cooking and cleaning and ironing and looking after children, whatever will just be bullshit. She'll do stuff to help you out.

Right. If you need a shirt, you're not very good at ironing,

she'll iron your shirt or wash your clothes or if you're going on a trip. And,

um,

my husband is very bad at this. He, for some reason cannot get things into a suitcase.

So it's something I do for him.

I pack all this, Pack it all up for him.

But he does,

as you've seen, a huge amount for me, but I do a huge amount for him.

Suzie : Absolutely.

Mel: It's a partnership. It's a partnership.

And it's about you thinking.

Think about the other person. Not to the detriment of you and your life going, but think about the other person.

And also just don't be selfish.

I do see, and we are talking about men, so please, this isn't. I'm not saying that women are amazing. They definitely could do some work.

But don't be selfish. Yes, I see a lot of men being quite selfish with their time, with their emotions, with their.

You may not want it. Like, you may not want marriage. You may not want the house. You may want, not want this. It's not really necessarily about what you always want.

And the same for women. Right? And that I think, absolutely,

in marriage there is compromise. There is absolutely. You've gotta compromise. But my big thing is don't compromise on the big things in your life.

Like if you're a woman or a man and you want children and you meet somebody who doesn't want children and they stick to that.

I'm sorry,

you should go out of there. If you want children,

you are not gonna make that person want children. And it's gonna end in tears.

If you want, whatever it is, specific things. I mean, I've seen this many times. Like,

you know, I can think of one couple a New Year's ago, and I went to their wedding and I'm like, this is gonna end in tears. And it did.

Because he was somebody who was very, very materialistic and he wanted the Flashy Porsche and he wanted the nice house and he wanted all that stuff was important to him, right?

Was not important to her at all. She just wanted to have her kids and have a nice home life and be a stay at home mom, which is, you know, great and very commendable.

And you know, she did that but she wasn't interested and he couldn't understand why she didn't want all that stuff and she couldn't understand why he didn't. And it just blew up.

So you have ultimately got to want.

Not exactly, but you got to be going in the same direction. Want the same things.

Have I gone off track?

Suzie : No, I love it.

I also think that there's like, I think men also should understand that like women know when you're not into us anymore. Like we know if there's a problem. We know typically if you're cheating on us.

Like there is this intuition I think that women have innately and maybe not all women, but like we know when there's something wrong, there's something off. And you aren't doing things for us anymore like you used to and you aren't there for us.

You're going out more, you're staying later at work more and there's no real communication anymore.

We know that there's something off.

And so when we know that, we're always going to put less effort into that. If we think that you're on the side of putting less effort in.

Do you know what I mean? It's, it's like we do,

we, we want to put our energy and time,

an effort into something that we know is going to like, love us back.

Mel: Yeah. Yeah, right.

Suzie : Does that, is that fair to say? I know I'm not in a relationship.

Mel: Right now, but I, I think that is fair to say. I think obviously sex is a big one and we get asked this a lot. It's in our comments a lot.

Suzie : Yeah.

Mel: And a lot of men sort of.

Suzie : Talk about like how women don't have sex with men anymore but they, they.

Mel: Turn off and they, they're not interested anymore.

And you know, if you are the kind of man who is very interested in your woman and then all of a sudden you're not interested. Obviously we know what's going on.

Suzie : Yeah.

Mel: The other thing is really,

you know, you should really ask yourself why, what is the thing that has turned her off?

Don't be so, you know, I know it's a very difficult discussion to have, but you can't leave this for years. You've got to sort of tackle it at the beginning.

And don't just think it's always her. Maybe it's something you're not doing. And women are very in tune with their environment,

with the way they feel about themselves.

If any of those things are off,

then the whole sex thing goes off. Whereas men are just, like, we've said many times, the house could be burning down.

Suzie : Absolutely.

Mel: And there could be, you know,

people running in the street and whatever, and you're still. You're still up for it.

It's hard for women to switch off their environment or if something's off.

So maybe think about, well, we need.

Suzie : I mean, and you guys know this. We need a lot of foreplay. You know, we need a lot of, like. And not just, like, sexual foreplay. Women need a lot of, like.

Like, let's go for dinner. I'm gonna make you your favorite cocktail. I'm, you know, like, let me clean the kitchen for you. Like, that is foreplay to us.

That is. That is foreplay to us.

Mel: Getting in the mood. Like.

Suzie : Like, oh,

do you want to go, like, to Sephora for an hour? And, like, let me.

Like, that is literally foreplay to us. And, like, we. Any time, like, thing you do for us where it's like, you know that we're gonna love it or it's gonna possibly turn us on,

we're going to want to suck your **** after.

Mel: Yeah. I mean, be clever about it and just tune into the type of woman you're with. Because obviously not all women are like, us. Us. We. We like clothes and makeup and stuff like that.

And some women generally don't service, like, which is fine. But whatever you're into, if you can.

Suzie : Go pick up your woman from the office.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie : Like, let me go. Like, let me pick you up.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie : Or let me take you for lunch. Or, like, there's just, like, all these.

Mel: Or little things like.

Like my.

You know, like, if you have, like, a really serious medical appointment or you have something that's quite stressful, and if you can take them, be with them. Like, it honestly makes a huge difference, obviously, if you can't.

And I know it's not always possible. Yeah. But try in any small ways in your life to be really supportive. Yeah. Really actually does help. Now, I know that somebody's gonna do that, and they're gonna say, oh, it didn't work.

And obviously we don't know everyone's individual situation. And you can't suddenly have, you know, 10 years of your life where, you know, you've lived a certain way and then all of a sudden you change gears.

I mean, obviously that's not gonna work.

Suzie : You have to upkeep. It is the upkeep of the relationship.

Mel: I'm talking at the beginning.

Suzie : Yes.

Mel: You know, I think my. The simplest way for me of saying it is in every way in your life, small and big, show up.

And I mean that women as well, and they don't do it, and men too, but show up.

And that is why you can have a really great team in your marriage if you both show up. And sometimes when you don't want to,

I mean, that would be the.

Suzie : I think that's the best time to show up is when you literally. It's so inconvenient, but you're still there.

Mel: When you're tired or you're not into it or you're ****** off or whatever the hell it is.

If you can show up.

I saw this somewhere, actually, and I think it's very true. If you can show up for somebody when they are not being the best version of them, but, you know, the best version of them, I think that says a lot.

That's nice.

Oh, babes.

Suzie : Well, if you guys are having any other questions for us, we do have a few more. We might do another part two, an episode about these questions that men have for women.

But we want you guys to answer the women's side of this. So, like, what are the women's best green flags of a relationship? What can women do better to keep the relationship alive?

What do women. What do you notice first?

Mel: Yes.

Suzie : Of women. You know, these things that we want to know that I know. Our female audience wants to know too.

Mel: They do.

Suzie : Please answer for us. Yes, please go to sharemytoot.com or you can email us or share my toothpod to DM us and we'll chat with you laters.

Mel: Till next time,

thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at Sharing My Truth podcast and leave us a voicemail on our website sharingmytruth.com to share your stories and experiences with us.

We'll see you next time. Bye bye.

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Sa.