Suzie: Welcome to Sharing My Truth with Mel and Suzie. The uncensored version where we bear it all.

Mel: We do. 1, 2, 3, 4.

Suzie: And hello, everyone, and welcome back to Sharing My Truth Pod. You're here with Mel and Susie. She's playing footsie with me. And we're here to say welcome back. Thank you so much for listening.

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Hey, babes.

Mel: Hello, darling.

Suzie: Hello, darling. How are you?

Mel: I'm fabulous.

Suzie: God, you're fabulous. Look fabulous.

Mel: Oh, well, thank you. So glowing, really.

Suzie: I know you're getting your Botox done.

Mel: Tomorrow, but thanks for telling everyone.

Suzie: Everyone is interested in your skincare. Okay. She's always glowing.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie: It is natural. But I'm sure she gets a little help.

Mel: There is not a single woman over the age of 50 that doesn't have help. And if they say they're not, they are lying through their teeth.

Suzie: They're like, my diet is just so good, I just drink water.

Mel: It's. Oh, ****.

Suzie: Go **** yourself.

Mel: It's not true.

Suzie: Yeah. Well, today we're talking a little bit about dating and first dates.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: And dating. Etiquette.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: Do you love etiquette because you're a little British woman?

Mel: Yes, I like a bit of etiquette into that.

Suzie: Did you ever do that, what is it called, the school where it's like all, you know, little ladies and they figure out what fork goes with what?

Mel: Not exactly that, but my dad was very strict about etiquette.

Suzie: Like etiquette school.

Mel: Yeah. So I had to, you know, like in. Do you really want to know this?

Suzie: Yeah, of course I do.

Mel: So, like, I had from a young age taught, like, what all the different knives and forks do, what all the different glasses do.

Suzie: I love that.

Mel: And then in England when you eat. Cause like, North Americans eat in a slightly strange way for the English, like, they use their fork and they sort of stab their meat.

Like the English kind of go, like glorified. Yeah, they sort of go like this. And every mouthful, you should cut your food and you use your fork and you put it down and you should put it down and then your hands go under the table.

Your hands should never be on the table.

Suzie: Your hands should never be on the table.

Mel: No.

Suzie: I thought it was just your elbows.

Mel: No, they should really not be there. But the weird thing is, in France, it's the complete opposite.

Suzie: Oh, really?

Mel: Yes. They're, like, wearing your hands. What are they doing? Something dubious. And then, you know, learning about how to hold a teacup. Anyway, yeah. So I was very.

I was, like, raised with all this bullshit. Yeah.

Suzie: Well, I mean, I'm. I just like to bring up etiquette because I've had a lot of first dates.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: Since I've been a single woman, it's almost been a year. So going on all these first dates, some have turned into, like, second and third dates. Not many.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie: But it is very interesting to me because I'm dating a lot of different guys from all backgrounds from, like, you know, from the ages to, like,

30 to, like, 50, let's say. So, you know, quite a bit of differences in these guys.

I think. What's funny is that the.

The older you go, I swear to God, the hygiene goes down.

Mel: Wow.

Suzie: The basic hygiene.

Mel: So what. Let's just clarify. What do we mean by that? We're talking not how to shower. Doesn't use. What. It's deodorant.

Suzie: I think it's just, like, they have kind of. They're like. I've been trying to just go out with, like, established guys. So, like, guys have really good jobs, you know, like.

Because that's what I know that I want in a partner and, like, has, like, a focus and, like, has drive and ambition. So it's like, I've been going with all these guys who, like, have their **** together.

And, you know, I went out. The most recent guy I went out with, he admitted to. And, like, kind of thought it was funny. He's like, yeah. Oh, I don't even remember the last time I washed my face.

Mel: Wow.

Suzie: And you're just like, oh, my God. Like, I don't want to be kissing that face later then. And you can tell it's, like, a little dry.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: You know what I mean? I'm just like.

Mel: It's. It's just.

Suzie: I don't know, like, maybe. I just think maybe our guys of this day and age, like, at the millennial guys that I've been dating,

they take better care of their skin care because it's more known.

Mel: Oh, yeah, right.

Suzie: And, like, they have sisters who are obviously, like, obsessed with it, and they have mothers who obsess with it. So it's, like, more well known to take care of your skin and, like, your other skin.

Mel: There's no doubt about that. Even like I'm as. As. Yeah, we know about each other. I'm super into skincare. I love it and I love like stores that have lots of products and I like from all over the place and I'm really into it.

But it is quite unusual for women. I'm not saying women of my age don't like. But if I think about all my friends compared to me, I'm definitely obsessed. And I just find it fun.

And like my girls. Cause they're of that age, they love going to Sephora and if you're in the States, places like Ulta and that. And we could just be in there for like hours.

Yes. We leave my husband, I say come back and okay, we'll be here for an hour and a half. Come back and he's very happy to leave. He normally goes to a bar.

Love that everyone's happy.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: But it is quite unusual. I think it is probably because of the cult of Sephora.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: I think it's become a thing. So now much. And I know a lot of people complain about it much younger girls being into products and you know, like spending.

Suzie: Lots of money, always going to experiment. I think what's amazing is that the guys.

Mel: That's what I mean.

Suzie: Men are experimenting now.

Mel: Yeah, it's made them. But I also. I also think it's because nowadays there are skincare ranges that are marketing to men. Not that men can't use the women's stuff, but. And they've had to market.

Yeah. Make it look male. But I think because it's now socially acceptable for men to sort of have some kind of mini routine. I mean, let me just say, if you have many steps, I don't think that's cool.

But if you have a nice routine where you look after yourself and you're sort of worried about your hair a bit. I just think over grooming is a problem for sure.

Under grooming is also a problem. Yeah.

Suzie: Like even if you just using like cerave, like you know the stuff you get at shoppers, which is like not medical grade, but it's like. Yeah, it's just like a regular shoppers drug mart thing and you buy it and it's actually really good quality and you wash your face and you moisturize and that's all you have to do.

That's all I'm saying to do, gentlemen. Just wash your face, moisturize or like.

I think. Not that I've had any bad luck with this, thankfully, but I think what a lot of people don't do on a first date is floss. And I think you have to floss.

Mel: To make your breath smell or use mouthwash or both.

Suzie: Well, both. But like, I think some people think that flossing is optional.

Mel: I know they do.

Suzie: And so it is, I think, a bit of a problem when you're like, you know, going on a first date. You're trying to make the best impression and you're doing like little things.

These little things add up to a lot. Obviously.

Mel: They do, yeah, 100%. And like I said, I think it's just sort of finding that balance and, and like for younger men it is acceptable. And I think you're right. Like men in their 50s, they just don't.

I mean, I don't really know.

Suzie: They don't care until they're with another. Until they're with a woman. The women will pick that up.

Mel: I'm not sure it's that they don't care. I don't think they know.

Suzie: They don't know.

Mel: And it's kind of.

Suzie: Maybe they don't care either.

Mel: It's not very masculine to be into skincare. It's like, oh, really? No. And they think it's. Yeah, they just don't think it's masculine. And I understand that. But there are like.

I remember when I first met my husband, like, he didn't know anything about skincare. I mean, he still doesn't know that much about it, to be fair. He has real limitations and like most men, a bit sort of a hang up about like right.

When men don't use this. Yeah, he's lucky. He's blessed with good skin. But I remember like going out with him for about however many dates and as soon as we were like fully that sort of.

We're, we're a couple, we're so serious. I was like, I got to do something. Give me your ****** kids. As I just lie down steam on and I'm going for it.

Suzie: No way.

Mel: I think he thought something saucy was gonna happen. Like, no, I've just got to deal with your nose. No.

And.

And then he complains if I don't give him a facial. And that's hilarious. It's hilarious. And it, it's still like, it could be a lot better, but. And I pluck his eyebrows.

I mean, but I do a few. Because he cries like a baby.

Suzie: Oh my God.

Mel: If I do more like a couple, I'm like, have you any idea what I have to do?

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: The hairs that have been are unbelievable.

Suzie: And Removed and lasered and waxed.

Mel: Exactly.

Suzie: Shaved.

Mel: And you're like a couple of hairs. And he gets upset about it, but apparently it's fine if his hairdresser. Yeah, gay hairdresser. Also. My hairdresser is fabulous. Does his eyebrows. That's fine.

But if I do them, it's not.

Suzie: Oh, my God. He probably massages his face afterwards. Probably loves it.

Mel: But I think it's just not socially acceptable. But anyway, Western men, I think, particularly. Yeah.

Suzie: And I. So because. Because it's a first date.

Mel: Yeah, Right.

Suzie: I believe you should make the best first impression. It's like you're going to an interview. You're not. You're not coming unprepared or in a ****** outfit or any of these things.

You want to be prepared. It's the first date. You're making the first pretty much impression. Especially if you meet. If you met, like, online on a dating app, or you literally have not met this person at all.

So I think. So I come in immaculate, obviously. Immaculate, obvs.

But. And so I just expect that of my other. Of the person that I'm meeting, too. I'm like, you know, I know that I'm. I'm hoping that that person is going to obviously pay the bill at the end of the date.

But, you know, I'm coming in, I'm looking my best. I'm, like, excited to meet this person. And when they don't have a haircut, like, if their hair is shaggy and I can tell that they have, like, they're in need of a haircut.

That is annoying.

Like, it's like when it's like, just like, on the ear, like, like over the ear. When the ears have been plucked. Either the ear hair. Gentlemen, pluck your ear hairs.

Okay.

Mel: And then wax them.

Suzie: Wax them. Or, like, get someone else to do it. Sometimes the hairdresser will also do it. Do the hair and the ears and the nose at the same time.

Mel: Manscaping. The whole place.

Suzie: A little bit of manscape.

Mel: No, but I mean, that's another thing. Sorry, I'm interrupting you. No, but, like, that's another thing. Whereas young men will do manscaping, and older men are sort of starting to realize, oh, yeah, maybe if I do that, she'll lick my balls.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: I mean, it's that simple. Let's be frank. I'm just telling you.

Suzie: Why do I want to lick some hairy balls?

Mel: I'm telling you the truth. I'm telling you. Like, it is, but it's just like, hello, Hello. But it's not complicated. No, but I think it's often women who get involved in doing stuff like this maybe.

Suzie: I mean, like, obviously once you get older, you get more hairs, like. Right. So like 30 year olds are not going to have ear hair as badly as a 50 year old.

But you still should be looking in the mirror and seeing what's going on.

Mel: Yeah, I think you should. I, I mean, in some senses it's kind of endearing that they're not a narcissist. So you got to think about that.

Suzie: You're so nice.

Mel: Like if they're really into themselves, that's also not.

Suzie: No, of course. And, and as you said, there is something called over grooming. And it's like somewhere I don't want someone to look better than me. I just want effort.

Mel: Yeah. And if you are an older man, I make sure with my husband, like, like I see, I book everything for him. Right. I've made him do all these things, it's me.

So he does them. But I mean, everything, the doctor, the dentist, the hairdresser, whatever, I do it. But between haircuts, especially older men, they can get this kind of like fuzz on their neck, which is absolutely repulsive.

And so I get that, you know, I, I'm like, if it's even a little bit. Oh, I'm happy to help. Yeah. Or go. There are so many places in Toronto where you can get sack back and crack done and you can get your neck done.

Suzie: I'm sorry, the sack back and crack? Yeah, sack back and crack special.

Mel: Yeah, it's the thing. And go do it, go and do it. And then you can ask for your back, obviously back.

Suzie: What are they getting, waxed or shaved?

Mel: No, waxed. I mean now they get laser. Men get laser. But waxed or sugared. But hurty, hurty hurt. Well, they can take a bit of pain, for crying out loud. But then they will like really hairy, go up, you know, if it's really hairy upchurch.

But certain cultures, they do this because they have black hair and they're hairier and it's like not weird, which we're ******* weird about it. It's like, no, just get rid of it.

And to me, oh, this has nothing to do with first dates, it's fine. But hair on the back.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: The minute I saw even any kind of hair on my husband's back, which was very early days, and he's very like dark haired, you know,

you know, sort of olive colored skin and he has very dark black hair, I was like, that's it. Going to See somebody wax it. Yeah.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And he's been doing that ever since.

Suzie: Amazing.

Mel: But in the carpet. You know, sometimes you're at the beach where you're like, what is going on? But I would actually question the men who are with women who have the hairy carpet and hairy, like, what are these women doing?

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: These men. To somebody.

Suzie: I don't know if the.

Mel: If it's. That's not.

Suzie: Obviously it's a lot. If it's a lot of back hair, it's a lot. But if there's, like, a little bit, it's like, whatever. I'll give it a pass. But the. The balls, you know, the manscaping stuff, I'm like, just.

It's. And I don't. I really don't want it shaved fully, because then it feels like you're with, like, a little boy, and it's really gross. But, like, you know, I still want a man.

You want to just trim it up. You want to. And it makes it look bigger.

Mel: But all of these, like, salons that do this now, it's so many. And they're so good at it.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Don't worry. And they've seen a million penises. Yeah. And they're really. You're not gonna. It's not gonna be that exciting. And you can do whatever you want. Like, ladies, you can do your little landing strip, or you can get rid of it all.

Suzie: Oh, my God. I took off a man's pants, and he had a landing strip that would be.

Mel: No, he's talking about a woman having a landing. But I'm saying, as a man, you can also. You can.

Suzie: You'd shape it.

Mel: Well, it's called little landscaping for a reason.

Suzie: A little Superman symbol, or you can say the Batman symbol.

Mel: You can do anything you like. I mean, I. I would probably think that's not a very good idea.

Suzie: That's so funny.

Mel: And then you got to think about the top of your legs and your *** hole. You got to think about it all. *** hole. But I would just encourage men to do a little bit of grooming.

Suzie: Yes, well.

Mel: And women will be very, very, very grateful.

Suzie: The manscaping. Grooming doesn't have to come out until date three. Okay.

Mel: No, but I, I, you know, go and get it done because it'd be a bit sore if you've never done it before. Oh, my God. Do not shave it. No, I mean, I, I, we're not gonna mention it, but I know people who've had a little mishap, and I don't know why people Ask me these questions because apparently I know about shaving balls.

But I'm like, why have you shaved your balls? Are you mad?

Suzie: A lot of guys shave the balls.

Mel: Oh, it's. Please don't do it. Don't do it.

Suzie: Like, trim your balls and then you can shave it.

Mel: No, no, get them done.

Suzie: I'm never shaved for.

Mel: Do not shave and you can slip. Don't want that. Even women. Please do not shave your. Hoo hoo.

Suzie: I have to shave. I get lasered.

Mel: Well, yes, but you gotta be like, if you're going very into. You gotta be very careful.

Suzie: You gotta be very careful.

Mel: But yeah, laser. I mean, you know, I've been lasering for years, so there's not much there. But I mean, well, there's nothing.

Suzie: She's as slick as a seal. I like that.

Mel: Yeah. And. But no, you have to go and see a professional. Yes. Invest your money. Men.

Suzie: It's just like you go to see a professional for your hair.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: You go to see them. Like men should get facials. Just like, not like as crazy as like we do it, but like, it's so nice.

Mel: Yeah. I mean, that is. Take care of your debt. Too far from my husband. I mean, he just, he's like, no, like you do everything you need and he's just like to go in there and relax.

Yeah.

Suzie: I'm like, massage your face here.

Mel: I think a lot of men so nice. I think a lot of men are so weirded out because still like salons. I mean, I don't know why with that accent, because we don't say sal, we say a salon.

Salon. Yeah. Or yeah, a beauty salon is the way we say it. I think men really feel that that's a woman's domain. I tell you what a lot of older men do, which is very common in North America.

I haven't really seen it that much in Europe is get their nails like their nails and pedicures done. They obviously don't have nail varnish, but they get them regularly. The cutest.

Suzie: My dad loves to get pedicures.

Mel: Yeah, it's very common.

But I still think a lot of men have hang ups about that because it's a very female environment and it's so funny. Like I go to the small salon, I've been going there for years and it's just two women who run it.

And so a lot of the. It's a lot of older women who go to this salon and so they send their husbands there, which is funny. But they never go.

Unless the wives didn't say. But they come and they sort of have their feet down and they don't know what to do with themselves. They don't know. Cause you normally.

I have these deep in depth chats with everyone there and the ladies there and it's like a whole thing. Love it. And the men just sit there like silent.

Suzie: We don't wanna know. Yeah.

Mel: What do you talk about? What do you talk about? It's very female. It's almost like you've entered this inner sanctum. But what I would say to men is if you do want to do that, there are so many choices in big cities.

Suzie: Oh yeah.

Mel: You can go where they specialize. And before you get on my case, you don't have to go. I think a lot of men also think that they're going to be gay if they do that.

And there are like salons that specialize.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: In different. Like shall we say thanks for Melanie.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: Like you can specify that. And.

Suzie: And also like you're not getting polish if you don't want it. They're just cleaning up your feet.

Mel: Yeah, yeah, exactly. But what. Yeah, exactly. And whatever you want to do. But I would encourage a nice level of grooming.

Suzie: Absolutely.

Mel: Don't get. I personally would find it a bit odd if it was excessive but I do think younger men are much more into it and of course they, they your skin will be better.

I mean like. Yeah.

Suzie: And like you'll just look better. Like a woman who takes care of herself will appreciate it and know. And you're going to be higher on her list.

Mel: Yeah. And the other thing is you don't have to go into Sephora. You can go to shoppers, drug mart or wherever you are.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: You don't have to spend lots and lots of money.

Suzie: Also you can order everything online now.

Mel: Well, that's very true. And there's a lot of male focused products. But yeah. I mean if you're dating is what you're saying and I think that's absolutely correct. You gotta put your best thing forward.

I mean, are you not doing that on the apps with all these stupid photos? Exactly. So why would you get there in real life and not look. Look good.

Suzie: Absolute best.

Mel: Yeah. I just don't why. And why would. And so how are they dressed generally, these men? Are they dressed nicely or there's like no effort?

Suzie: No, they're.

Mel: I mean at least they're clean looking.

Suzie: Yeah. I mean maybe again I'll say like the younger guys look better than the older guys.

Mel: Yeah. Okay.

Suzie: The younger guys have more style yeah.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie: And.

But like that's not actually like what I go out with a guy for. I don't give a. Like I'm gonna change this whole style if I remember if this is gonna be serious.

Yes, that's not a problem for me. But it's.

Yeah, the. Yeah. The older guys, they just, you know. Well, I don't think they iron their.

Mel: Shirts or does something to iron them for them, for goodness sake. Wow.

Suzie: I don't know, it's just. Yeah. It's so. Yeah. It's just hygiene is a huge thing, I think. Especially on a first date. Especially any, any date. But like especially on a first date and then you know, just looking like your best.

Like mon. Like monochromatic colors always look best. Like if you don't want to make. If you're confused as to what to wear. It's like any kind of blue jean or black jean and a like white button up.

Or like if it's a casual thing, like a little T shirt and a sweater. Like it doesn't have to be so complicated. It just like. Yeah. Don't show up to a nice restaurant wearing like, you know, converse or like.

Yeah, anything that's like you're. If you're like it's too casual, like put on a nice pair of like Chelsea boots. You know what I mean? Like it's. It's not that complicated.

I know for men, they don't really care about this stuff or they don't really have the knowledge about it.

Mel: But why is.

Suzie: You keep it simple.

Mel: Yeah. And if you are confused, why not just ask a female friend? Surely you've got a female friend who could help you or go and get Pinterest.

Yes, possibly. Or you could go to somewhere like Halts and get yourself a personal shop. Or you can go anywhere or go and ask them. Right. Couldn't you go and ask them for goodness sake?

Suzie: Yes, absolutely.

Mel: I mean if you're an older man, you've got a daughter or a friggin. There's a sister or an auntie or woman in there.

Suzie: Somebody in there, you know, your friend's wives or something.

Mel: Ask somebody.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: You know, and say. You know. And yeah, I think you're right. Like. Yeah. Colors like navy blue. Nice plain jeans.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And it does drive me mad that people. And I do think that's a generational thing and is that people like they'll go to like a really nice restaurant like and they'll just, just look like a schlup.

Suzie: I know, it's unbelievable.

Mel: And it's now only in certain restaurants. I trying to think of the last place I went. Somewhere in North America where they, you know, you have to wear a jacket. But there are lots of places still in Europe where you have to wear a jacket or you have to wear a tie or.

Suzie: It's also just like the amount, the amount of dates I've seen where the woman looks incredible and you can tell she's like done up to a T. Even if she's even a little bit fancier than what like the restaurant is.

And the guy looks literally like such a schlub. Like just like sneakers, like ill fitted jeans,

like a sweat, like a hoodie.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And I'm like, your girl looks incredible. Heels, dress, whatever the she's doing. And I'm like, the balance is off here.

Mel: Yeah. And I, I think you have to be, look, if you're on the apps, you've put the photos there. So be true to yourself. Don't suddenly like you've posted all these photos and then all of a sudden you look like an ad for Harry Rosen.

Right. Like be sort of true to whatever you portrayed. But yeah, and I think like you said, like why does the woman have to present this amazing perfect picture and we've had some like twos and froze about this on Instagram recently is like, you know, women are expected to have beautiful skin,

to have nice hair, to have big tetas, to wear nice clothes and all of that and this sort of expectation and you're like, yeah, well maybe she is wearing a push up bra or maybe she has had Botox done.

Like get a grip. Like how do you think it gets to that? You know, like you want this, you know. Yeah.

And I think that, yeah, this thing, like you said, you've got to put your best foot forward. You've got to look,

you know, good, you've got to be friendly and nice and warm and it's just like I.

Suzie: Don'T know if men realize like we are looking at everything when we go on a date with you. We are, that is our most judgmental we will ever be towards you on, is on the first date.

You know, like we are gonna go in there and we're gonna see what you're wearing, we're gonna see what drink you're ordering, we're going to see your mannerisms, you know, if you like put a hand on us too early or if you never put a hand on us and like we want you to like there's so many little things that like we are kind of seeing and looking for and like hoping for and.

Yeah, a lot of it is going to make more of the difference. Obviously it depends if you have the connection in the first place.

Mel: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think it's the same for women. I mean, I think that men are looking at all these things and how you react to things. And it's little bit of a game, isn't it?

And this is a very, very difficult time that I've been involved in this game. But I think it's a game and you. You can't. Neither the man or the woman can like, lay all their cards down, you know, I think that's a mistake.

A lot of people do, like, you know, hold a little gradually. Gradually. I think that's the thing about the apps. You know, way too much about people before you've even met them in real life.

But at the very least.

And, you know, turn up looking nice, smelling nice. That's a big thing, I think, for men.

Suzie: But not too much cologne.

Mel: No, not too much. Sometimes, like, it feels like. And not cheap. Like, please just go again.

Suzie: Invest. Investing in yourself. That's what this is.

Mel: Yeah. And. And that's the thing men. All you need to do. It's really quite limited compared to women.

Suzie: Oh, my God.

Mel: Like probably some kind of hair product. Probably just one where we've got like 16. Yeah. Some nice cologne. Very important. Very limited amount of skincare. And clothes do not necessarily have to be mega expensive.

Just a little bit of thought and not too much weird **** going on. And no T shirts and things like that with funny logos on them. Stuff like that. No.

And their footwear. Just, you know, think about what's on your feet.

Suzie: Clean shoes.

Mel: Clean shoes are not some kind of, like, I don't know. Weird that sneakers are sometimes fine. But it depends.

Suzie: Yeah, it's just. It's interesting to me. What? I love a cowboy boot.

Mel: Really? Oh, God, no.

Suzie: But I'm not in the right context.

Mel: In the right. Well, you're from Alberta.

Suzie: Yeah, exactly. That's really funny.

Mel: That would just be like if. Yeah. Anyway, I don't know why I'm thinking about it because I'm just like, yeah, I'm dating, obviously now.

Suzie: I've got to set up on stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know, it's. It is interesting. So like. Yeah. So look nice, feel. And then you feel good too. Right. And make sure you're like, first date.

Especially,

like asking questions. You actually listening to the answer.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: You know, I feel like people just ask questions to ask questions and then it Kind of feels like an interview.

Mel: Yes. Right.

Suzie: Like you're kind of just like checking boxes at one point. And it's like, if you're asking nice questions, not just like, where are you from? Where do you work? Like, how many siblings you have?

It's like,

honestly. And like, it's like, oh, well, like, you know, what do you like to do on the weekends? Like, where's the last place you traveled to? Or like, where do you want to go?

Like, what are all these. Like, what do you want your future to look like? There's so many kind of more in depth questions that you can ask to actually get to know the person instead.

And I think people are just. And people don't listen to the answers, which is the hardest part.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: And then the conver. And then you can't call, like, have a conversation if someone's not listening to your answers.

Mel: Yes. Yeah. And so the other thing I would say is don't be like super opinionated, unless, of course, that is who you are. But I mean, like, if some politics.

Suzie: Out of the first.

Mel: Yeah. Be very careful about that. But I mean, like, I remember. Well, we were in a situation. It wasn't a date, but there was a two of us and there was a guy who was a friend of a friend and we.

And he was just turning up for a drink and he obviously thought, I am in with the shop with Susie. It was ridiculous. But anyway, anyway.

Suzie: Not exactly my type.

Mel: No. And we were just having a drink, but he was a friend of the friend who was like, dropping by. We were in this pub in London and we're drinking very nice wine.

Suzie: I thought it was very nice wine.

Mel: And he's like, bottle, Sancerre. Yeah,

sorry, that's obviously what we drink. That's what we're drinking. And he comes in and he's like, ugh. That was his first. Ugh. Don't like that, Sansa. No. Arlo, would you like some?

So he says, do you want something sweet?

Suzie: And we're like, sancerre's not sweet. So obviously you don't know your wine, Right.

Mel: But the first thing he says is, do you want something to drink? Do you want another bottle? We're like, great. He's like. And he looks at the bottle and goes, ugh, Sancerre.

And he goes, ugh, I don't like Sancerre. That's too sweet. I'll get shabbily. And you're like, fail. You have failed before you've even started.

Suzie: You're like, that's always that's literally not what we wanted.

Mel: Well. And it was nothing.

Suzie: And, like, thank you for the bottle of wine. But, like, you've asked what we wanted.

Mel: He was obviously interested in you. And you're like, are you insane? Like, just drink what the girl's drinking.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: What is wrong with you?

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And if she says, you know, I want a ***** star. What's **** star? Martini.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Then. And let her order the drink. And if you think that's just, oh, my God. Then you won't see her next time.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: Because obviously there is a judgment at a certain age of what you're drinking. But I, you know, don't, like. Like, don't be an *** about things like that.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: I mean, really.

And, like. Like you said, listening, I think is really important. And I think if you're. If you're a bit nervous, I think it's quite sweet if the man says, you know, I'm a little bit nerd.

Like, just, yeah, be cute about it. Right.

Suzie: It's like, I'm so excited to meet you.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And then, you know, I think, I mean, there's a lot of people that don't drink nowadays.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: Obviously, I could never be me,

but, like, it is. Obviously it helps. Alcohol helps. So, like, going to a bar and not somewhere for dinner on the first date to make sure you're not, like, stuffing your face with food on the first date.

And, like, you know, cocktails are really easy. You do one and then you can get out of there if it's bad, or you can always have another. Or you can have a really fun night after.

Maybe then after you can go for dinner or whatever you want to do relaxes you.

Mel: Absolutely. But I. I do think, yeah, eating, I think particularly for women, get very hung up. Like, you know,

you may be hungry and want to eat, but then you're like, oh, God, I can't. Because then if I have a great big burger with whatever, they're going to think I'm a whatever.

And that's all just ridiculous. But I just think it's a lot. And then you're worried about, you know, stuff on your face.

So I do think, and I know that we talked about this once some time ago, and all these people came at us on TikTok, and I'm like, get a grip.

It's reality. Stop pretending this is real. You know, if dating everyone, obviously not me before anybody says, I don't know what I'm talking about.

Suzie: Cheating on Max.

Mel: Thanks very much. I'm married. I know. I'm not dating. I know, but I have been on the earth for a while, so. And I have a lot of friends who date.

Suzie: And I tell her literally all of everything.

Mel: She tells me all the dating story. But I just think that it is about presenting yourself, meeting somebody, making the effort. And I think people don't. They're bored of the effort.

And I, I mean, I, I get it and I don't get it because I'm obviously not on the. The dating scene, but I'm sure it gets very boring because you've been on a lot of dates, right?

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And they don't work. And you keep going single.

Suzie: It's been like.

Mel: But if you don't do it, you're not gonna meet anyone.

Suzie: You have to just go and do the ******* date. I was on this ******* date with this guy and it was like when we had that huge snowstorm that came in and I was leaving to Vancouver, like that weekend.

So I like, saw. I was like, fudge it. I'm gonna go. On the Thursday, we were going to a bar, which wasn't that far, and I was like, fine.

And I show up and he seems like a really nice guy on the. I met him on Tinder, I think my first Tinder date since I was single. And, and so he looks nice.

He's like, in tech. He's like a. Whatever. Founder or something. Like, he's like, you know, has a good job, whatever, stylish, cute. And so he says that he's like six foot.

Obviously, I get there.

Not six foot. And look, gentlemen, the height doesn't bother me. I could go with a guy who's five, eight. Like I give a ****. You know what I mean? But it's the fact that you lied and you don't think that we're going to notice.

Mel: I mean, it's, it's, it's. It's ridiculous. Of course the first thing you're gonna notice is you're not six foot. So if you're lying about that and like, because I. Then you'll lie about anything.

Suzie: Because if I, If I see your profile and you say that you're. How, like, what's your height? I. It's literally gonna depend if I wear heels or not. Because I'm not gonna wear heels on the first date if I know that you're like five, nine.

Because it's like, you know, I want to kind of keep that balance a little bit nicer. Like, there's just so many things that we consider. And so, like, obviously I'm wearing Heels.

And I'm like, oh, this man is not six foot. Obviously not a problem. But annoying that you lied about it. Fine, fine, fine. Sit down.

There's one thing that it's just. And it's like, you can't really help it, obviously, but, like, if your skin is bad. And we just talked about this, but, like,

it's just like, you. I swear to God, you airbrushed your photos.

And. And this is a successful guy. He's. He's like, on the dating scene. He, like, is super nice. Successful, all these things. And I'm like,

you're. You want. You're airbrushing your photos or something? Something. Something is happening. Because this was not the face that I saw.

Needed a haircut, right? Hair was a little.

And still. We had a great night. We had a great time. Obviously gave him a nice chance. I ******* went there in a snowstorm, right? And so he ordered. Like, I think unless you are both on the same page about it, like, having shots on a first date is not usually a good idea.

It's kind of an indication that the guy or the girl is most likely just wanting to **** you.

Mel: Well, that's what I would think. Yeah.

Suzie: Like, they're trying to get you drunk. They're trying to, like, you know, get you back to the place. So whatever.

We had some shots.

We had some cocktails. I went back to his place.

Didn't do anything. Okay, before we say anything, didn't have sex with him, but went back to his place. And it was.

I was just like, okay, like, yeah, let's, like, make on your couch. Just have another bottle of wine.

He was like, are you sure you don't want me to, like, just show you my ****? And I was like, no. I was like, no, dude, that's like. I literally.

I was like, one would have ex. I was like, it's our first. It's our first date. I don't have sex anymore on the first date.

Mel: Did he actually use those words?

Suzie: I swear to God, if it wasn't that. It was something so similar. Like, it was like. It was like, come on. Like, let me.

Mel: I can't.

Suzie: Because this is like, two or three weeks ago.

Mel: You don't want me to show you a ****. He said, come on.

Suzie: Like. Like, it's such a good ****. Are you sure you don't want to see it?

Mel: Oh, my.

Suzie: Because I told him that I do this podcast, obviously, so maybe he's listening. And I told him that I do this podcast. And so the whole time, we were pretty much Talking about sex.

Which is not my intention when I tell someone I have a sex podcast.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: It's more just like, this is what I do. Are you okay with this kind of.

Mel: Yes, yes, yes.

Suzie: And yeah. So this man just really wanted to talk about sex and then specifically his ****. Specifically his ****. And I was like, I actually pretty sure because I was a little bit tipsy.

No, I didn't. But I think he did take it out. And I was like, no, no, don't show me.

And yeah.

Mel: Yeah, I mean, I'm still.

Suzie: You know, and I've never spoken to him again. Never seen him again. Like.

And he did like me on another app that I'm on. And I was like, do you not remember that we went out? Like, I have the same. I look like we went out, dude.

Like, why do you like me on this app?

Mel: He's very sure of the power of his *****.

Suzie: And you know what's so funny? On this new. On this app that I'm on, that's.

Mel: Not Tinder you were gonna do go. Oh my God, you're right. That's the best.

Suzie: That's the best. I never signed me right now.

Mel: What does he actually think you're gonna say?

Suzie: No, no, the best part is on this, on this app that he swiped on that I just saw, it literally said no hookups.

It's like,

I was like, I want to ******* call you out on this. Like, are you ******* serious? And look, there's no problem in just being on the apps for the hookups.

But don't ******* lie about your attention. Don't lie about your height. Okay. Don't Photoshop your photos.

Mel: I. I just. Yeah. I don't get it. What do you think is going to happen when you get there in real life?

Suzie: Unbelievable.

Mel: And I, and I, and I understand that society, like, we have all these crazy expectations.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And we're looking at all these people on Instagram that are using filters. Like, people are not like that for the most part. Or they're not. Then you know, something is not exactly as it seems.

And you're. But why exaggerate that much? What is the point?

Suzie: I don't know.

Mel: It's like entrapment. It's so weird thing. But I mean, I know a lot of men have commented on our Instagram recently going, well, women do the same thing. They wear push up bras, they have fake nails, they have fake eye lashes,

yada yada. Number one, that is not true. All women do not have. Or maybe they have some of those things. But Essentially, for the most part, the things they're having done are just enhancing what's already there.

I mean, unless you have, like, your face taken off and put a new one on.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: It doesn't do that much.

Suzie: Which you can do too.

Mel: Yeah, but it doesn't do that much. And, you know, if you are going out with this woman and she has so much makeup on, and then you, you know, you see her without her makeup on and you're like, oh, my God.

I mean, are you blind? Can you not see how much ******* makeup she's got on? And maybe my suggestion would be to go for more natural looking. I mean, can you not see?

Suzie: Men are so dumb. I mean, and the nicest way guys like you do, you're like, I remember there was.

There was this. I was with a guy friend, I think, and he was looking at this girl. He's like, oh, my gosh, she's so hot. And I was like. I was like, that is the most filtered photo I've ever seen in my life.

Like, they just do not compute that this is actually not really how they look. Right. Or like.

Yeah, I was gonna say a story now. I don't think I'm gonna. I'll save it for later. But like, men do not.

Men do not even know what fake **** feel like. Right?

Mel: Oh, my God, I've got a story about that. I was just thinking I got you.

Suzie: A story because I'll dog. I'll do my so.

Mel: Well, it's not going to sound that exciting. Yours is probably much more exciting, but remember years ago being at a party and I was with my now husband, and I was with a friend of his, and I've known him for years and years, and he's looking at this girl and this whole thing has happened and he's like,

oh, my God, she's so tall and aw. And look at her ***** and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, they're fake.

And he's like, they fake. They're really. I'm like, yes. They don't stand up like that in real life. Like, she's not. She's, you know, 30 something. He's like, oh, they're fake.

I'm like, yes.

How will I know? I said, well, okay, if you, you know, like, if you get together afterwards.

Suzie: If you could see your ******* and.

Mel: If she lies down flat and they don't move.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: They're fake. Yeah. Oh, good tip. Yeah.

Suzie: Also, they're scarring somewhere.

Mel: Exactly. Like, sort of normally under that crease. Aren't they? Yeah, but I mean, like, they're fake. Yeah, but this was not like a good little enhancement.

Suzie: This was big tata.

Mel: Like, no, they're not real.

Suzie: So funny.

Mel: And I just thought that was so funny. Yeah. Or men who like, no, we should tell your story, because that wasn't that.

Suzie: No.

Okay, I'll tell a little bit of my story, but then I'll go on, like, we'll do another episode after this and I'll tell the full story. But I was recently in a threesome.

Mel: Right. And. Yeah. And.

Suzie: And it was very interesting because, yeah, she obviously had fake ****.

Mel: Well.

Suzie: And she. She complimented me on my ****.

Mel: Very nice.

Suzie: Very nice.

Mel: I'd love a woman who compliments have nice little conversations.

Suzie: And so obviously I complimented on hers. And then.

And then he was like, after we. We were chatting, me and this, the guy, he was like. He was like, oh, her **** were fake.

Mel: I was like.

Suzie: I was like, were you not with me in the room? Did you not feel them?

Mel: Like, well, yes. This is interesting to me. It's like, I don't understand.

Suzie: This is the reality. Men do not know.

Mel: But is it because they've had so many fake *****, they don't know what real ***** are?

Suzie: Like, I have no idea. I don't think that's true.

Mel: It's. It's bizarre to me. Or even men. I mean, you know, obviously threesome story is way more exciting than anything I have to say from now on.

But, like, even, like, you have girls who are like, wearing maybe very natural makeup or their hair, whatever, and like, my husband do it, like, oh, she's so natural. Like, she's wearing makeup.

Like, how can you not see? It's not a lot.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: But like, with the girls who have.

Suzie: Gotten, like, their lips done, no problem. Obviously, like, they are filler. They have Botox, like all of these, like, enhancements to make you look better without makeup or whatever it is.

Mel: Absolutely. And like, men have no idea, all these treatments. I mean, like, there's all sorts of skin treatments you can have. Like, I had all sorts of stuff to, you know, get rid of, like,

you know, pigmentation and all that sort of stuff that just makes the quality, like, the. The texture of your skin so much nicer.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And like, men have no idea that you've done all this stuff. Although even a lot of these famous women who are like, oh, I don't wear makeup. I won't mention names.

You're like, they're not wearing a lot, but there's something on their Face. And they're incredibly expensive treatments, dye treatments. They've got like.

Yeah, exactly. All sorts of stuff to make prep their skin. But they're wearing something very light. And they've had their eyebrows. They've had everything done. And they're saying, oh, I go without makeup.

And you're like, that's a lie. You're not wearing everything that that person's wearing.

Suzie: You're gatekeeping, *****.

Mel: Yeah, but you've got something on. Like, that's just a lie because you're under these cameras. There's no way.

Suzie: There's no way.

Mel: And it's just. It's annoying because for men and for women, it sets us totally unrealistic, you know, like, it's. It's not true. It's not real. It's not. You know, and all these people who lie about, men included, about.

I haven't had Botox, you know, like. Yeah, right. I haven't had this. I haven't had. I haven't had a hair transplant. Yeah.

Suzie: Oh, my God.

Mel: There's a question that. So what if. What's your feeling about hair on men? On the head?

Suzie: In what way?

Mel: So what if they are follically challenged?

Suzie: Here's the thing. I.

Mel: How do they make that look presentable?

Suzie: I have started. Well, some women really don't like bald men. And so, sorry, guys, that's just what it's gonna be. You're not gonna have every single woman.

I don't mind a bald man, to be honest.

Mel: Like, we're talking bald.

Suzie: Bald.

Mel: Like.

Suzie: Like, they have, like, receding hair, and so they've decided just to shave it off.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: So I don't hate that. I am prefer a hair. A head of hair, you know, scrap on it.

Mel: Absolutely. You know that threesome.

Suzie: Love it.

Mel: That was a joke.

Suzie: Yeah,

but I don't. If you have a bald spot and you're just trying to cover it up with your hair that you still have, and it's not that bad. Just try not.

Don't do, like a Como.

Mel: No. Like a Donald Trump. So don't do a Como. Or like, just be. Own it. Just own it. And I would also say, like, men, if you've done, like, hair, like some men have done all sorts of, like, certain medications to take or certain products, they.

That's fine. Like, do it, but don't lie about it.

Suzie: Also, if you use too many hair products, gentlemen, because men obviously, like, they don't know and, like, it's too waxy or it's like, too solid. Because I love running my Fingers through a man's head hair.

And like, if you can't do that.

Mel: Yeah. I'm.

Suzie: I'm so bad.

Mel: Gel and stuff.

Suzie: But it's like the same thing for women. It's like if women have too many extensions in.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: It's my biggest thing. Like this woman that we did this.

Mel: Threesome with, did you have extensions? That's another thing I would say, like, I'm like, did it sort of.

Suzie: There's. Yeah, you couldn't. I just didn't want to touch it.

Mel: You feel the little clips. You can.

Suzie: I didn't even want to touch it.

Mel: It felt so.

Suzie: I felt so sad.

Mel: But again, like, I. You know, if you look at a woman. Yeah. And she has unnaturally long hair. It's fake.

Suzie: Or thick.

Mel: Or thick or like it's mostly.

Suzie: Yeah. Most likely.

Mel: And I understand that men feel like maybe a little bit deceived by that, but it's like it's an enhancement.

Suzie: It's not like she's wearing a wig and she's telling you it's her hair. It's like.

Mel: Well, some women do straight up lie about it.

Suzie: Really?

Mel: Oh, yeah, 100%. And I. And eyelashes. Like, do you honestly think she was born like that? I mean, come on. Come on. All the nails, like, if you don't like that kind of look, like fake nails and that.

Don't date that kind of woman. And lots of makeup.

Suzie: Yeah, exactly.

Mel: Able to see that. But hair extensions, like, generally, if you're over the age of like twin. Early 20s and it's unnecessarily long and especially very, very blonde.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: It's probably.

Suzie: It's absolutely.

Mel: So I think you should just, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Reconsider those options.

Suzie: Well, anything else for a little etiquette on the dating? First dates, second dates, third dates.

Mel: I think the best advice we said right at the beginning, so we've obviously rambled on for far too long, is just present yourself well, put your best image of yourself forward.

Little bit of grooming. You don't have to be a narcissist.

Suzie: Absolutely.

Mel: We're talking about men here. And, you know, smell nice, turn up looking nice and simple, you know, not overdoing anything. And be funny. You don't have a bad. Just go in.

Suzie: Go in with a great attitude.

Mel: Great attitude.

Suzie: No expectations, but a great attitude. Yeah.

Mel: And if you're unsure about anything, just. You must have a female relative, friend or whatever who's got good taste. Just ask them.

Suzie: Absolutely.

Mel: I mean, why not?

Suzie: Yeah. What do you have to lose? I think the women. Women love that stuff. Women love to help men.

Mel: If you've also. If you've made an effort and you could even joke about it, you could even joke, you know, I'm not very good at this. And I mean, you know, and I think the best thing is have a sense of humor.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: There's nothing like a man who's. Doesn't take himself very serious.

Suzie: Exactly. It's very clear.

Mel: My husband's very funny. Yeah. And, you know, we'll give him a plug here. But he's very funny and he doesn't take himself very seriously. And it's very appealing for women, you know.

Suzie: Yeah. Because it's nice. It's like, oh, finally I can just be myself and, like, let go and like, I don't have to be so serious about myself.

Mel: Yeah. And this person's not so serious. Yeah. And I just think, you know, from like, talking to you or other friends or, like, don't put so much pressure. And I know it's easy for me to say, but so much pressure.

It's just a date. Yeah. If it doesn't work, doesn't work. That's it.

Suzie: Love it.

Mel: And that. I'm signing off.

Suzie: And that is that. If you guys have anything to say about dating etiquette or you think we got it right or wrong,

you guys can go to any of our socials at sharemytruth Pod where you can see all of our videos and such there. You can also go to sharemytruth.com or you can just email us and chat with us there.

Mel: Please do.

Suzie: Can't wait to see you soon.

Mel: Until next time.

Suzie: Bye.

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Mel: Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at sharingmytruth pod and leave us a voicemail on our website sharingmytruth.com to share your stories and experiences with us.

We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.

Three, two, one. Yeah.