Suzie: Welcome to sharing my truth with Mel and Suzie, the uncensored version where we bear it all.

Mel: We do. 1234.

Suzie: Hello and welcome back to Sherry Bridge with Pod. You're here with Mel and Suzie, and we're here to say, don't forget to slay. I'm so sorry. Okay. Hey, guys, you're with Mel and Suzie, and we're here to give you a friendly little reminder to hit the subscribe button on this little pod, put the little downloads on, give us a comment and a like on a YouTube. Go to share my truth pod on the instas and the tiktoks of the world. And you can go to sharemirtruth.com even. And you know what you can do there, Mel? Yeah, you can go to sharemytruth.com, and you can go and leave us a voicemail. Literally, put your voice in mail, send it to us, and we'll listen to it, and we'll talk about your problems, not with anyone else, but we'll talk about them. And you can also send us an email if you don't, if that's too hard or dm.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: So there's a couple ways to get in touch with us. Get to know us. We want to get to know you.

Mel: We do.

Suzie: How are you, babes?

Mel: I'm fabulously, amazingly wonderful. Oh, my God. Wow.

Suzie: What a treat it is. What a treat it is to be.

Mel: With you here today. Thank you, Susie. Thank you. You're welcome. Feeling the vibe?

Suzie: You're feeling the vibe?

Mel: I am. Yeah.

Suzie: Good. I'm glad. Perfect. So good. The vibes are vibing. Maybe I had one too many glasses of rose today. We might have done well, we have an episode.

Mel: We do.

Suzie: And the episode, Mel and I were talking about it because she has a lot of experience with this.

Mel: Like, a lot. A lot, a lot, a lot, a lot.

Suzie: We want your advice, Mel.

Mel: The people want your advice. The people want my advice.

Suzie: I want your advice. Okay. And this is something that I actually like. Don't believe in, per se. I don't believe it can work. So I'm very astounded to hear that this has worked for you.

Mel: Well, it's probably in a very partic. No, I've actually done it several times, but, yeah.

Suzie: And she's not talking about an orgy.

Mel: No.

Suzie: She's talking about a long distance relationship.

Mel: Swinging. Talking about long distance relationships. Yeah. I'd say I've definitely had a scenario where it didn't work at all, and it was a really stupid idea.

Suzie: Really?

Mel: Yeah. Because you were too young too young, really. You know, unless you have very strong feelings for the person.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Or unless it's a strictly. Well, there's not really a relationship. You get together, you do your thing, but, you know, but then it's not a relationship if it is a long. If you're in a long distance relationship with somebody, you've really got to have strong feelings. You've got to be in love and you've got to. It's got to be worth it. Otherwise, what's the ******* point?

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: I mean, really, there is no point because it is very, very difficult. And I'd say the first time I was very young, I wasn't in love with the person. And it was stupid and it didn't work. And we kind of broke up, got back together, but it didn't work. And of course it didn't work because it's just stupid. What's the point? I mean, there is no point. There are many fish in the sea and go and find a nicer fish. Right. You don't need to be sticking with this person. And I think some people get stuck in long distance because they're terrified that if they're. If they kind of break away, then they're not going to find somebody else. And please, please don't think that that's just nuts. It really is nuts, because unless you're in love with a person, it's pointless. It's like, what's the point? Why are you doing it? The second time, I was married to the man I'm still married to.

Suzie: So you were already married to him and then it went long distance, or were you long distance while you were dating?

Mel: No, when we were married. Right. Yeah. Because for work reasons, and I know several of my friends where they've had to do this for more than a year. We were actually living in Switzerland, but living in one point, living in separate city. So I was in one city with the children, and he was in another city because he got a. Another job and he was traveling a lot anyway, so he wasn't even in that city very much. He was just away the entire week and sometimes the weekend, too.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: So away pretty much all the time. Right. And then we also had a long period where he just traveled all the time. All the time. And so. And it caught, you know, like Monday to Friday, literally. And my kids didn't really know their dad at all. They didn't just like, who's this?

Suzie: So crazy.

Mel: Yeah. We're. Compared to now, you know, compared to the way dad now. And we did it purely because it was financially. Well, it was worth it. It was kind of life changing. And so we did it. And obviously it's like anything, you don't know until you're in it.

Suzie: Yeah, of course.

Mel: But we were married, so it's different. But did it. Cause it caused a huge amount of pressure on our relationship because what happens when you're, if you're in a long distance, maybe you don't have kids, you kind of get together and everything's amazing and va va voomy, and you have passionate sex and sexy sex. Right. And then there's no reality in your relationship, which is a big problem. So that then if you eventually come to live in the same place, it can be hugely problematic. Cause suddenly, then there's real life, and then you just don't get along in a real scenario. Cause when you're long distance, it's a bit like the beginning of a relationship. You know, there's like the outside world. You're in the sort of bubble kind of thing. Now, we were married, so we were quite far into our marriage and stuff and had children and everything. And what happens is the person, you know, he's working away long hours, traveling a lot, comes back grumpy. You've had to sort of get on with your. And, you know, he admits this. I'm not saying his mind's back, you know, I've got to get on. I was working, I had two children, and you have to just get on with your routine. And then it's almost like he comes home and it's like, oh, it's a bit annoying, really.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: You're like, I've got everything under control. I know what I'm doing. And you have to be very self sufficient because I can't rely on him. So he would even come back at the weekend. I'd say, no, no, no, just don't do it because I need to do it myself. It's not helpful. Right. And it just can cause a lot of pressure, a lot of stress. And it.

Suzie: Did guys almost break up or anything like that? Or was it.

Mel: No, no, it wasn't that. Not at all. No. But it, you know, it caused a lot of arguments, I would say. Yeah, because, I mean, also, you've got young children, you're tired, you're exhausted, you're at that sort of on each other's nerves kind of thing. But it puts a lot of pressure on a relationship. You've really got to think about it. But of course, you don't know until you're in it. And if you're going to be in a long distance relationship, which many people are like, you know, people at university, maybe they're different universities, or if you're in different jobs or you start, you know, what do you do? I mean, but I think the thing is, you have to really be in this. It has to be serious to really bother. You've got to do it. Yeah. It's just not worth it otherwise. I mean, I really don't see the point.

Suzie: Yeah, I think a lot of. And it's so funny, because if I ever tell someone that you've done this, that this was your life before, because they ask about you, obviously, and I'm sure you get this question a lot, too. Is that, like, people ask if Max has cheated on you?

Mel: Oh, yeah, all the time.

Suzie: And they'd ask me that, and I'm like, yeah, yeah. I'm like, I'm like, yo. Okay.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Max is literally. Your husband's literally like, you guys are in love. Like, you guys. That's never been a problem, but they. People cannot handle that. That's not a poss. Oh, my God. And why is that?

Mel: Yeah, I mean, it's a really good question, actually, because I've been asked many.

Suzie: Many times, which is so inappropriate.

Mel: It is inappropriate by friends and your. Yeah, it is inappropriate, I think, in. In our case. And, you know, people can look at you and specifically me and say, oh, my God, you're so naive. And you're like, no, I'm really not, because we also talk about it. So if a man or a woman had approached either of us, we would talk about it. That's just kind of like best friends.

Suzie: We're not gonna *******.

Mel: No, we're just not gonna. And, you know, at the end of the day, you can call it whatever it is, but you have to have 100% trust, and it's never, ever been an issue for either of us. We've never thought about it. It.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: So. But, yeah, no, lots of people have asked me many, many times, and I think it's because most people do. I mean, of course they do. Like, a lot of Max's colleagues would say to him, oh, well, you know, you travel so much, you can have a woman kind of, you know, wherever you are, you're going.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And he was a little bit like, what? What you mean, like? I mean, he's like, I don't want to do that. You know, I've got a wife. I don't want to do that. And you may think, and maybe that is very unusual, you know, and a lot of his colleagues, actually, a lot of his colleagues, like senior colleagues, were all divorced because they'd all done that. Yeah. So maybe that's why he was very put off. But he also, on a personal note comes, his parents have been married for, like, 57 years. They're very close. They do everything together. And so he has that as an example. I don't, but he does. So it's like, well, of course she can. You know? What do you mean? Yeah, you know, that's what he has in his head, really. So why do people think you're going to cheat? Because they just think, well, you can. Because at the end of the day, if you're spending or living most of your time apart, well, I wouldn't know what you were doing, would I? No, I mean, of course you could do it.

Suzie: People can't handle that. Like, women especially, I think obviously, men are also. Can be like this, but women especially, I find that we. We want to be in control of a lot of things. And if our man is good looking or we know that he is a catch, then we're kind of like, okay, can, you know, where are you, like, what are you doing? Are you seeing. And then if they're like, oh, yeah, I'm with a colleague. And then they're like, there's a woman colleague here. And women are like, what do you mean? You know, like. And it's like, it's okay.

Mel: It's completely okay.

Suzie: If you make it kind of crazy, then he's gonna want to cheat on you more.

Mel: Oh, 100%, right? 100%.

Suzie: Or is that unfair?

Mel: No, it's not unfair. And I've just. It's never been something that has perturbed me, ever. I've never thought about it. Yeah, I've never worried about it. And I think I'm not crazy like that. I don't. I don't know. I just. Because I trust him and he trusts me, so I've never thought about it. I've never worried about it at all.

Suzie: Did you guys have a conversation of, like, trust before it even happened, or was it just kind of like, eh, we trust each other? Cause I know you and you know me. How does that trust happen? People have such trust issues these days, and I understand why, obviously, like, social media is a huge thing. There's a lot of other factors, but, like. And I'm a very trusting person, but I'm also just not. I'm not a jealous person.

Mel: Yeah, I don't think I'm a mega jealous person. Either. Maybe that's part of it.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: I'm not sure it's a good question. Have we ever had a conversation about it? I don't think specifically. We just talked about. We laugh if somebody, like, approaches you or whatever, we would always mention it, and he would always mention it to me. And I think because as a couple, we kind of do a lot of things for each other. We're not like, well, you have to do this, and because you did that, then I have to do this, or because you went away or went out for dinner with your friends, then I have to do this. We're not like that at all. We just do our thing. Like, I don't.

Suzie: We just.

Mel: Well, I do. Like, if I want to go out, I'm going, you know, like, tomorrow I'm going out with a friend. I don't ask Max. He doesn't ask me. He might say, oh, you know, are we doing anything? And blah, blah, blah. And I'd say the same thing. Well, actually, he'd ask me because he has no idea I have social calendar. Of course he doesn't know. He just turns out. I just tell him where to turn up. But we don't. I don't worry about, you know, if he goes on a boys weekend. I don't worry about that either. It doesn't even bother me. And I think if it bothers you and you have trust issues, you really have to figure out why you have those, and if it's the person that is creating them, I think you're with the wrong person 100%, or you should be doing something else or dating or having many romances or whatever, but you're with the wrong person. If you have any questions about this, about trust, about the person, then what the hell are you doing? I don't get it.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And I remember years and years ago, a friend of mine was getting married, and he was a bit of a naughty boy, to be fair. But I wasn't friends with his wife, but, you know, I got to know her, and he was going on what we call in England a stag weekend.

Suzie: Yes, baby.

Mel: Which you call here in North America a bachelor party, right? And they were going to Amsterdam. So in Europe, like, in England, you'll go to Amsterdam or Ibiza or something like that. And obviously, they can get a bit wild, you know? And she was terrified. And she was. She asked me, you know, oh, my God, they're going. Because Max went on this stag weekend, and she was like. She was saying to me, you know, I'm really worried. I'm like. I'm like, you know, look, babes, if you're worried about this, you really, you know, really shouldn't be married.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: I mean, you know, you can't do that. You can't have somebody out of your sight and be. You try. You will drive yourself crazy. Sane. And I know that some people are more jealous than others, and I don't. I'm just not probably like you, maybe. I've never had cause to be jealous. Yeah.

Suzie: I've just always been like, if this man is gonna cheat on you, oh.

Mel: He'S gonna do it.

Suzie: He's gonna ******* do it.

Mel: I think that's probably what's in my head. They're gonna do it. They're gonna do it. Whether, to be quite frank, whether they're away or in the same city.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: I mean, let's. Unless, even if you're living together, let's be honest, you know, when you're at work or you could be ******* anywhere. Yeah. ******* like that.

Suzie: No, literally, like, there's.

Mel: So you don't.

Suzie: It's just the way it is.

Mel: I think that's probably the very long winded answer. Your question is that you don't actually have to be in separate cities, countries, places to be cheating. You can cheat right under somebody's nose.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: You know, and the distance is not what's required. It's like you're gonna do it for whatever myriad of reasons it's gonna happen. And whether you're. You're in London and he's in New.

Suzie: York, it's gonna happen. If it's.

Mel: You're in London and he's down the road, it's gonna happen. So I've never. I suppose that's probably my thought process. Yeah. But, yeah, I was asked all the time. I'm still asked about it.

Suzie: Right.

Mel: And I find it kind of. I find it hilarious, actually.

Suzie: Yeah. Well, you have to have a little bit of a sense of humor about it because it's like, it's ridiculous to you and to Max, obviously.

Mel: Yeah. But it just doesn't, it just doesn't worry. It doesn't faze me. I never think about it, ever. Never give it a moment's thought. But, you know, going back to this whole thing about long distance, you've really got to be in it together for the same kind of reasons. I think you also. I mean, obviously, it depends if you're early on in a relationship and you met and you sort of fell in love, and I think you do at some point, fairly on have to figure out some path to how you're going to get to be in the same place.

Suzie: Well, like, how do you even. I mean, I've never been in a true long distance relationship. The longest I was ever, really, apart from my last boyfriend was like three months, which was like a long time for us. Cause we were literally together every day pretty much for the however long we were together. And like, so that was actually really hard. But I mean, how did, like, in those days when you didn't have FaceTime, did you? Yeah, no, yeah, like, you didn't have FaceTime, you didn't have really, any of these had phones, obviously.

Mel: Little Nokia.

Suzie: Little Nokia.

Mel: You call them Nokias? We call them Nokias, yeah. You know, mobile phones call each other. Yeah, that was it.

Suzie: And like, what else? Like, how do you keep the love alive during that?

Mel: Well, with two young kids, that's probably not the main focus.

Suzie: Right. Okay.

Mel: One was a baby, but. Well, I don't know. What did people do? That's a very good question. But there was no. I mean, I guess if you were having phone sex, it was just your voices.

Suzie: Were you having phone sex? Melanous?

Mel: No, I didn't have time. I wasn't sleeping. Susie.

Suzie: Mel, you weren't having a little bit.

Mel: Of own sex at that point in my life? I don't think so, really, because I just had two tiny kids. And also he was continuously, like, I was living in the french speaking part of Switzerland and he was technically in Zurich, but he would be the whole week somewhere else. So he would, like, literally be Monday in New York, Wednesday in Costa Rica, Friday, and I mean literally. And then. And the next week he'd be in Nigeria, and then he'd be in all over Africa, and then next week he'd be somewhere else. So it wasn't like even you could, because you were on such separate time zones. I literally didn't have a lot of contact from Monday to Friday. And I remember once he'd been away, literally Monday, came back Friday night, and I hadn't slept all week because my oldest daughter didn't like sleeping until she was two and a half. Bit like you, Susie. You talked to your parents. And he literally opened the door. And I looked like I've. I mean, I looked like, you know, just dreadful. Like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards or like I just look awful. I mean, I still would get up and put makeup on and everything, but I was just so pale, so tired. And he just walked through the door and sort of went, here you go, I just gave him the baby.

Suzie: Oh, my God.

Mel: That's so funny because I just couldn't. It was just like, oh, my God. I have not slept Monday to Friday, a single wow night at all.

Suzie: I mean, that's extremely hard for a young mum.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: You had a very common Annie.

Mel: I did. Because I was working. Yeah.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: My own business.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: So I had a nanny, nine to five, and that's, you know, I'm not, you know, sugar coating that. That's a huge, huge privilege. But I was working. I work.

Suzie: I pay for a ******* nanny. If you pay for the nanny, get a nanny.

Mel: But not.

Suzie: Women don't have to do it all themselves.

Mel: But not in the. Not in the night and not the weekends.

Suzie: I had somebody like a wet nurse or something.

Mel: Yeah. I basically had somebody that helped me during the day so I could work nine to five. And then when I had my second daughter, I did have what we call in England, because I don't have a good relationship with my mum. So I had a maternity nurse, so I literally paid for somebody to help me through the nights because I didn't have a mom or an aunt or anybody coming to see me, and I didn't have. Max wasn't there, so I just had somebody so, you know, to help me a little bit in the night.

Suzie: Were you ever, like.

Mel: But I had to pay through. You have to pay through those.

Suzie: Yeah, of course.

Mel: But I worked and paid for it.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: You know, so, yeah.

Suzie: Max could have paid for it if he wanted to, though.

Mel: Yeah, of course. I mean, you know, we don't. We don't.

Suzie: It wasn't like that.

Mel: We don't really operate like that because we, you know, we share our money, as it were. But what I'm saying is I was making the money to pay.

Suzie: You were able to do that still.

Mel: Yeah. And we were very lucky, you know, I'm not. No, no. It was. In that respect. It wasn't a financial drain, but, yeah, I mean, it's hard when the other partner and I have a lot of empathy for men or for women who, particularly today, are raising children and they both are working very long hours, and it's really hard. Really hard to then actually have a relationship after you've worked, after you've, you know, is very, very difficult. But, I mean, and that's got absolutely nothing to do with long distance, but long distance. I just think at some point in the thing, and I know this happens to a lot of people, is they're in the long distance and they sort of have these get meetups. And of course, like I said, it's all fantastic because you shut the outside world out and you do these amazing things or whatever. And then there's a point where you're gonna have. Somebody's gotta move or somebody's got to, you know. You know. Otherwise, not really a relationship, is it? If it's a thing where you're getting together a couple of times a year and you find that fun, it's like a long distance booty pull. That's not a relationship. And, you know, go ahead and do that if that's what you want to do. But a relationship cannot, in my humble opinion, humble, survive long term doing that. I know lots of people who've done it for many, many years.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Mostly it's because of money, because it's financially beneficial, but it's really hard on. On both of you, and I don't think you realize until afterwards.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: What it does to the relationship.

Suzie: Yeah. And I mean, obviously, like, he was making the bulk of the money. That's why you were moving and doing all these things.

Mel: Yeah. And then were you.

Suzie: But even, like, still. Because you had to take care of the kids and you were still working and that's really ******* hard. Especially just taking care of kids in general. Like, for me, like, I just. I can't even imagine that by myself. Like, are there, like, times you're just like, I ******* hate this guy. I can't believe what he did to me kind of thing of just like, thoughts of like, oh, my God, I want to get out, or just like, no, no.

Mel: I mean, I would say. I mean, yeah. Getting on each other's nerves and you're ******* annoying me.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Coming home and saying, I mean, it's actually one of the reasons the way I raise my kids has worked so well. Cause sort of at the beginning when he was away a lot, and if he would come back and say something, it'd just be like, you've gotta be ******* kidding me. I've been here Monday to Friday 24 hours a day, in some cases, literally up large parts of the night. I'm gonna do this any way I ******* can to survive. Right. And you can't tell me that this, that, and the other. And we decided very early on in our relationship that I had the casting. What'd you call that? Casting vote with regards to the kids. So everything to do with the children and the raising of the children, I have the final decision. I mean, that's everything. Even now. And he will say his opinion, but he will never. If I say this is what we're doing, he'll say, okay. And that we decided that early on.

Suzie: What is his final vote? Like, what is.

Mel: Get one for anything with his children?

Suzie: No, no, but what's it like? Is he of like, the final vote on, like, all the finances in the relationship, or is he just like, you're kind of like, no, I deal with everything.

Mel: No, I mean, we talk about things, definitely, but no, we talk about that, that we take a mutual decision. I probably am a little bit bossy, but we take a mutual decision.

Suzie: Make yourself aware, Mel.

Mel: Yeah, yeah. You know, mutually. But he generally says to me his favorite phrase is whatever you want, which is a pretty good phrase.

Suzie: Gorgeous. I love it.

Mel: And he's pretty good, to be fair. But with the kids, he is now very involved. He doesn't travel as much. Recent years hasn't happened, hasn't had to travel as much, and is much more in control of when he travels. But with the children, it's my decision, whatever it is. Like, I'm the. The buck stops with me.

Suzie: Yeah, baby.

Mel: As it should.

Suzie: You know, the kids. The kids know you the best.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: What's best for them.

Mel: Yeah. Just the way it is, like, so I make the decision because I'm here all the time. Yeah. I'm the one who, and I decided that, and I'm not in any way. And I know that for some women, that doesn't work. And I was able to have my own, I'm able to have my own business and function, you know, being here all the time, I've managed to do that, and it has not been easy. And it sort of goes, you know, there've been ups and downs and difficult moments and all the rest of it, but. And I've chosen that path, so I've got to, like, live with that. Yeah. And I know for some people that's either not possible or very difficult or whatever it is. But again, going back to long distance relationships.

Suzie: Yeah. So what kind of advice would you give a long distance person today dealing with all the stuff they have to deal with?

Mel: Right. I mean, I guess it depends what point in the relationship you're at, if it's very early days and you're still getting to know each other. The weird thing is, if you're long distance, it'll take you a lot longer to get to know each other. And the thing is, is have you ever had a period of time when you've actually been together for a long period and then you've gone long distance because of course, then the other worry is how well do you really know each other in all the areas of your life? Because, you know, when you sort of see somebody for a weekend or something, you're sort of very well behaved isn't the right word. But you're on your kind of. You're trying to not be annoying, basically. Yeah.

Suzie: Yeah. And also you got everything waxed. You're ready for it.

Mel: You'll put. Exactly. He's not going to put in your schlubby. Whatever.

Suzie: Maybe bought a new outfit.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Never seen you in the same outfit twice.

Mel: Exactly. You're not sort of in your curlers with your face mask on and your disgusting PJ's on, your comfy sort of. I'm watching.

Suzie: You're yourself. Yeah. It's like you are putting. You're always getting something on.

Mel: It's a performance. It's really long to a degree, which is fair enough. I think my only advice would be, how long is this going to be? Long distance. At a certain point, you're going to have to make a judgment call if, you know, going on for years and years and years. If you're in love with this person, there's kind of got to be an end goal. And if you are in love and you want to be together, I'm sorry, but one of you is going to have to make the sacrifice. And I know that that's hard for people. Like, you know, when I moved away, when my husband was working, I had my own business and I was able, this is, and this is very early days before people were working from home much and online and stuff. And I was sort of right at the beginning with that so I could move with him. But that wasn't an easy decision. But I took the decision for the greater good of all of us. And lots of women tend to. Tend to have to do that. I don't think people appreciate that, especially if husbands get good jobs and they follow them. They just think, oh, you're following the husband around the world. No, they're actually making a sacrifice for the greater good of their family. Yeah, but if you want to be together and say, you know, you live in New York and he lives in LA, at some point somebody's got to move to New York or LA. Yeah.

Suzie: And you want to be serious. Unless you're, like, literally going to see each other every week for a week.

Mel: Yeah. Like, and that can only really go on for so long.

Suzie: Unless you're billionaires.

Mel: Yeah. But even then it's so draining. Like you think, oh, yeah, wouldn't it be great? I mean, I know one of my friends who, he's a pilot, and he travels all over the world and his wife lives in the UK, and even that, like, going away for these long periods and coming back, it's really draining. So this kind of endlessly traveling long distances, you know, even if you are in your private jet, which obviously I never was, but, you know, it's, you know, never know. Still got time. Still got time. It's very tiring. And you're taking out huge chunks, your life, and, you know, so at some point, somebody's gonna have to say, okay, I'm gonna move or you're gonna. Oh, we're just gonna. It's not gonna work. Yeah, I don't think it's.

Suzie: You have to know the end time.

Mel: I'm not sure that you can know that, but I think you have to bear in mind, you have to make a plan. Yeah, definitely. I don't think it's something that can go on forever and somebody can send me a story and contradict me completely, but from my personal point of view, I don't think it's a long term thing. Yeah, it's too difficult.

Suzie: I know.

Mel: And, and also, if you're in a relationship, you are in real life, right? And all those pieces of real life, even the sort of mundane, boring bits, make up your relationship. You know, like you, is the morning you sit and enjoy just having a cup of coffee together and having a chat, or at the end of the day, you know, you have dinner together. Maybe one in my case, my husband loves cooking. He finds it very relaxing. I find it very stressful. So he likes to cook, and it's a kind of really nice end to the day, and I don't. I do all the clearing up. That doesn't bother me. That's the way we've kind of figured it out. But it's those moments, and it's just a meal or a cup of coffee or you go for a walk or the kind of. They're really important.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And if you don't live in the same place, you're not going to get any of those.

Suzie: It's. Honestly, it's. Yeah. I mean, that just kind of reminded me, like, I have a lot of best friends who are long distance. Like, I don't live in the same city with, like, most of my closest friends.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: Just because I've lived a bunch of places in Canada and, like, you know, everyone moves around, obviously, at this age.

Mel: And, you know, somewhere else, you grew.

Suzie: Up somewhere else, like. Exactly. So I have, like, one of my best friends lives in Vancouver, like, I have another best friend in Edmonton, some in Calgary. Like, there's just all these places that I'm like, I'm not gonna go to all these places all the time. It's so hard to keep that relationship and talk to them every day. Cause they have their own life. And it's just like, if you have any kind of long distance best friend relationship, it's ten times harder if you're doing it with a romantic partner. And I haven't kept most of my long distance friendships because I'm just like, it's ******* exhausting unless I'm in the city and we're not talking, we're not hanging out. And that's not just cause I don't love you, it's just cause I literally just don't have the energy to do this.

Mel: Yeah. In life. I mean, I guess that's one area where, personally, I had a little bit of background in that, in the sense that I've moved a lot. I mean, I think I've lived in seven countries. I was born in different country to where I'm from, so I was used to moving around and I went to, you know, I went to high school in one country, university in another country. You know, I've moved around a lot, so I have friends in lots of different places and it's. Which has its own kind of stresses. So I'm used to trying to keep up with people, but I have, like, really great friends in the UK and also other parts of the world where obviously I don't see them on a weekly basis. And you have to accept that their life moves on. You kind of reconnect and you see each other, and I'm. I. You have to make the effort if you're the one who's sort of gone away, you have to make the effort if you want the relationship, and it's, then you've got to make the effort when you go back to see them and of course, their life moves on, and you've got to kind of accept that your life's moved on, you've done a bunch of different things and you have to accept that. And I think that's a problem with long distance relationships, is you're not doing the everyday **** together. Like, you know, like we were talking about, like, going out, you're not going out. Let's say it's Friday night, you go to have a meal, and then you go, then you go to a bar for some drink. We're not doing **** like that. Or you're not like, I don't know, going to the movies? Do people go to the movies? Anyway? You're not going, let's say you need to buy furniture or something boring. You're not going out to do that together. You're not doing all those things, are you? Like, oh, you know, let's meet for a quick lunch together. You can't do any of those things. And I think at the beginning, it's probably very exciting that you sort of have this long, and then you see each other and it's kind of fireworks. And obviously, you know, on a sexual level, you're. It's pent up, and then it's like, you know, explosive. Explosive. And I. And I can imagine that that can be. I wasn't in that scenario. Like I said, I had two young children. I was absolutely naked. But no.

Suzie: ******* a little bit.

Mel: ******* a little bit. But not a lot. Not a lot of energy. Like, anybody who has young children as energy to do that is what I commend you. But, you know, it. That kind of wears thin.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: It gets like, oh, God, I just, you know, and then. And then there's the issue of, like, you just want to be yourself. Like, it's Friday night, maybe let's stay in and watch some tv and have a takeout and blah, blah. And not where our amazing girly french ninety s. Oh, yeah. And I just like to wear my gap 15 year old track pants, you know what I mean? And be together. You know? Those moments, I think, are hard if you don't have them. So. Yeah. I guess my only advice is have some kind of idea of a game plan. Because if you love it, if you.

Suzie: Love this person, then you're gonna make it work. If you guys are in love and you guys are determined to just be in love and make it work, but you can't be jealous.

Mel: You can't be weird.

Suzie: And you gotta have trust.

Mel: Yeah. And not, like, you know, where are they? Where are you? Where are you? You know, like, texting. Like, oh, for ****'* sake. They live in a different place. They could be doing anything.

Suzie: Literally anything.

Mel: And you know what? If you don't trust them, don't. Don't be in a relationship.

Suzie: No, it's.

Mel: That's really.

Suzie: Yeah, that's exactly.

Mel: And there's nothing complicated. There's nothing convoluted. That's it. If you don't trust them, you shouldn't be in the relationship.

Suzie: Absolutely. And then there's also, you know, so many things that you can, like, use for sex now. Like facetime *******. You guys can do like, you know those vibrators that, like, hit across the world because they're a part of an app.

Mel: Yeah. Do they actually work?

Suzie: Yes, they work. They work. Long distance sex toys are a real thing and you can send to your partner and it's kind of sexy and cute.

Mel: Yeah. There's a lot of things you can do to keep a different world in that respect.

Suzie: Yeah. Could do it ******* 15 years ago.

Mel: Yeah, exactly.

Suzie: There we go. Um, you can do it now if you really want.

Mel: Yeah, you've got all the, all the.

Suzie: Friggin bits and bobs.

Mel: All the bits and bobs. And you've got like, a lot of, like, um, not so sure about Facetime because it belongs to meta. But, like, actually, so does WhatsApp. But you could use something like telegram, you know, all these other, like, oh, yeah. So you're not getting your data and they caught your **** movie and then they sell it to, no, I'm not imagining.

Suzie: Does WhatsApp do that sell your **** movies?

Mel: No, I don't think they do. But there is a, like a, some kind of setting, because every time I'm in WhatsApp, because nobody uses it in North America, they use it in Europe, and it says something like, blah, blah, blah, privacy and whatever. I'm not sending **** movies to anybody. So this manner. But it's.

Suzie: Yep. Mel, maybe, you never know. Feeds are coming out.

Mel: Oh, yeah.

Suzie: Mel's foot.

Mel: Feet finder.

Suzie: Mel speech finder.

Mel: So this is a very, I would like somebody who is an SEO feet finder person to tell me how my feet finder profile can get to the top.

Suzie: That's all we need.

Mel: That's all I need. I want to make millions from my dog feet.

Suzie: Love it.

Mel: They cost me a fortune, my feet.

Suzie: So love that arthritis. So sexy.

Mel: I love it. I really do.

Suzie: But that's, it's obviously loved it. Yeah, yeah.

Mel: That's all I've got, really, honestly.

Suzie: Perfect. If you guys are in any kind of long distance relationship, maybe you're just in another city, another country, another continent.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Um, you guys let us know. How do you guys deal with this?

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: What is it that you guys deal with that makes it so that hopefully you guys can keep it working, keep it sexy.

Mel: Yeah. Or if you're in a situation where you've been doing it for a while and the doubts are creeping in.

Suzie: Not the jealousy, not the doubts. We want to hear from you or.

Mel: You'Re like, this isn't worth it. Yeah, we would like to know, of course. But, you know, be strong. Like, don't be so hung up on. There's lots of people in the world.

Suzie: If it's gonna work.

Mel: Yeah. Like, go out and in our previous episode, go out to a bar and go up to a guy and buy him a drink. You never know. That could be a new thing. And then he lives in the same city. Well, he might not. Let's hope he does.

Suzie: Oh, my God.

Mel: Maybe that should be a question.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Where do you live? Here. Then you look like a maniac.

Suzie: Anyways, that's it. Yeah. Let us know if you guys have anything you want to chat with us about. About long distance relationships. We would love to hear with you.

Mel: Bye.

Suzie: See you next week. Sharing my truth pod is so excited to partner with vibr8tor.com, where the a in vibrator is the number eight. This is an extremely exclusive code where no other podcast has it. If you go to vibrator.com right now, use the code MS 15. That's MS 15. You can now get 15% off anything in store that's any sex toys for you, your partner, your neighbor, your mom. We don't judge. We don't care. Get it now. Go to the link in our bio, put in the code, and get jiggy with it.

Mel: Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at sharingmytruthpod and leave us a voicemail on our website, sharingmytruth.com, to share your stories and experiences with us. We'll see you next time. Bye.