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Episode 70  -  The Truth:Lube and Toys In Midlife!
Melany Krangle & Suzie Sheckter

Speaker A: Welcome to sharing my truth with Mel and Suzie. The uncensored version where we bear it all.

Speaker B: We do.

Speaker C: 1234.

Speaker A: Hello hello hello. Welcome back, shiny. My truth podcast here with Mel and Suzie. We have a fun interview. We just, we just finitoed with lovely little cass and Leah. Or Coco and Lola if you're nasty. No.

Speaker B: Okay.

Speaker A: Just to be, to be real, fair and real, these are two women who are so incredible. They're kind of like us. They're in their late forties, early fifties, obviously. I'm in my early fifties and in spirit and. No, they're so cool. They have an amazing website. It's called intimatewellbeing.com. You guys have to go to this website. They have literally one of the best lubes on the market. They live in Canada. All of their stuff is extremely, I don't know if I can say healthy for you, but it is organic. So it's like really good for your body, really good for your *****, really good for your sex life. The lube and everything else.

Speaker B: Everything else. Fair enough.

Speaker A: Yeah, come on. But we just had an amazing conversation with them, chatting about, I mean, sex.

Speaker B: Toys for midlife women. That's kind of their niche, midlife women.

Speaker A: But also the millennials that are coming up and are more curious about sex toys and are more excited about them, kind of. And they're bringing their moms to their workshops and seminars.

Speaker B: Yeah, that was interesting.

Speaker A: I don't know if Mel would do that with her daughters, but there's no.

Speaker B: Way they'd come with them. Just said, no way. They'd be like, okay, see you later.

Speaker A: I mean, it's a really interesting point of view. Like, Leah was the one who said she was 47 when she figured out kind of that she wanted to take charge of her own pleasure. So obviously that just shows us that you're just never, it's never too late.

Speaker B: No, I don't. It's not uncommon that women, you know, you have said you have friends, like young women who don't have toys or like, oh, no, I don't need those. And that kind of, there's still a lot of stuff surrounding it so much. And just like, at the end of the day, live your life, do what you need, buy what you need, do what makes you feel good. As long as it's legal. That's my mantra.

Speaker A: Well, as long as it's legal, even if it's not.

Speaker B: Let's go.

Speaker A: But I know, Mel, you said something to me after we had the interview, and I thought it was really important and it was that you wanted. You feel like it's your responsibility to teach the younger women?

Speaker B: Yeah, I do.

Speaker A: And it's like, I think that's kind of what Cass and Lee are kind of doing, too.

Speaker B: 100%. I mean, we can't particularly. You know, I'm 51. Women of my age, a bit younger, a little bit younger, a bit older. We can't sort of be complaining about the fact that things were different when we were younger. We didn't have sex toys that we could buy online. You had to go into some slightly seedy, creepy shop. People didn't have sex toys in quite the same way. People weren't as open about sex. Women definitely, definitely were not talking about their own pleasure. I mean, please. Most women hadn't really figured out where the ******** was. You know, that takes a lifetime. And I think if we want young women to be educated, young women to figure this out, to be empowered, then we have to teach from a position of knowing what was wrong when we grow up and teach the positive, we know what not to do. So we need to talk about what we should be doing, I think. And that's the kind of principle I live by, Suzy.

Speaker A: I love that. And I do agree with that, too.

Speaker B: Even now.

Speaker A: I know I'm not old, and I know you're not old either, obviously. But I do feel somewhat of a responsibility as an empowered woman who is comfortable with her sexuality, that we should be talking about it more in an open way and a comfortable way and not being afraid to kind of talk about sex toys, because they're a huge part of, especially women's well being, because. I'm sorry, guys. Your **** isn't gonna do it all, okay?

Speaker B: And that's okay. It's brilliant.

Speaker A: For Christ's sake, you're still Batman. You just need a little robin. Yes. Right.

Speaker B: Yeah. And I just. Yeah, exactly. Why are you worried about that? Yeah. And most women love Batman. Oh, really? God.

Speaker A: We're not ******* Robin. We're God ****.

Speaker B: The essentials of Batman. And it really is good.

Speaker A: And Batman has all his tools.

Speaker B: He's very. Gadgets.

Speaker A: Exactly.

Speaker B: Thank you, Susie. But Robin really does make it just what he.

Speaker A: He has a last punch, you know?

Speaker B: Very good. Yeah, he makes it all just that little bit more.

Speaker A: Anyways, that's exactly. And that's all we're saying is just for. For the end, if there's guys listening here.

Speaker B: Sorry, Batman.

Speaker A: Yeah. We love Batman, don't get us wrong. But, you know, it's.

Speaker B: There's.

Speaker A: There's no problem in saying that you just need a little bit of assistance in the way of, like, making her calm, because it's really important that women orgasm. And I will say this before we get you guys onto the episode.

Speaker B: The.

Speaker A: The one thing that they said that stuck with me was that you women need three orgasms a week.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: For good sexual pleasure, for good sexual health.

Speaker B: Yeah. And they were talking about older women, so they weren't even talking about. I mean, but women. No, I mean, then you should have even more, probably.

Speaker A: Oh, yeah, for sure.

Speaker B: For sure.

Speaker A: But I don't have that, you know, like, well, I just, like, it's not like an everyday thing. It's not a priority. Like, I'd like to say that I have, you know, one. One on Saturday, one on Sunday, maybe one during the week. Right.

Speaker B: Fair enough.

Speaker A: But I think that's very, very rare with women that you're having three a week. Three orgasms a week. There's no ******* way that most women are having that.

Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, you got other stuff to do.

Speaker C: *******.

Speaker A: Everything else to do. Who is prioritizing that?

Speaker B: I mean, we should. Women don't, in the same way that men do, just because I think women can stave it off. We're just. You may feel the need, but it's much easier for women. For the most part, I'm generalizing to keep it under lids. Under the lid, under control. It makes us frustrated and annoying and bitchy and all the rest of it, but it's easier for us to control it, whereas men, it's much, much harder, I think that's my experience.

Speaker A: I agree.

Speaker B: And so what we do is we repress it. We repress it. We repress it and we don't prioritize it, which isn't good. And many women, I'd like to say, don't prioritize it. Also in the relationships when they should be. And if they did, they'd have much happier relationships and we would not be miserable. But there are only 24 hours in the day, Suzy. Gosh. It's too not. There's only so much you can do when you're working and children and looking after your. Whatever you're looking after. And it's a lot. It's too much. And sometimes you're tired and you're just.

Speaker A: But that's why, like, every more reason to get a sex toy and not have to ******* use your fingers like a cave woman, for God's sakes.

Speaker B: No. And I've never really been the finger lady.

Speaker A: No, you haven't. I've been a finger lady.

Speaker B: I'm always. I've always been about the assistance.

Speaker A: Good. I mean, it's much more proper. Who wants to touch your own private parts?

Speaker B: You know, there's the cleanliness aspect, but it's a lot speedier. Oh, it is. I mean, let's be frank.

Speaker A: It really is.

Speaker B: You know, I mean, you know, so we're putting the responsibility on men, and it's hard to get it all going if you don't use electronic.

Speaker A: It is tools. That's why it's like *******. Why not add a little extra fun in there?

Speaker B: AI for everything else? Like, why not tool, a magic technical tool for your glitters.

Speaker A: Huge fan of technology. Please run the world. If vibrators ran the world, that would.

Speaker B: Be a lot more peaceful.

Speaker A: That'd be a lot more peaceful.

Speaker B: Anyway, we're now going to. Shut up.

Speaker A: Shut the **** up. Love you guys so much. Enjoy this little interview. Yeah, and we'll talk to you soon. All right. Thank you guys so, so much for joining us today. This has literally been so fun. I know we've been talking a little bit back and forth, but thank you so much. We start every podcast. Just, we really want you guys to introduce yourselves, plug whatever you need to plug on the socials so people can look at you while they're listening to this awesome podcast. So please go ahead, ladies.

Speaker C: Thanks for having us. Mel and Suzy. We are Leah and Cass from intimate wellbeing, a canadian online retail boutique and online community, a sexual wellness boutique for the midlife woman.

Speaker A: Thank you so much. It's all very exciting. Obviously, we love sexual wellness and pleasure. I don't know if that was obvious, but, yeah, we absolutely love what you guys do. You guys are obviously gorgeous beings in western Canada. Really kind of leading the trope of hawk girl summer, hopefully for us and hawk girl pleasure. But, yeah, we obviously, you know, in the way of, like, sexual wellness, it's so important to really understand your bodies. So, like, how did you guys start this awesome company?

Speaker C: All right, I'll give you the Kohl's notes, but she'll probably jab me in the too many. I was married twice. For the culmination of about 30 years and 47, I found myself single and on the floor of an Airbnb in Vancouver and listening to a podcast. It was about pleasure. And all of a sudden, I had this massive aha moment wherein it was like, oh, my God, I'm responsible for my own pleasure.

Speaker A: Wow.

Speaker C: What a novel concept. And at 47, I had not owned a vibrator.

Speaker A: Wow.

Speaker C: And I found myself kind of googling sex shops in Vancouver. So fast forward, next day, I'm driving up and down the street, spotted the shop, drove, parked, walked by, thought, okay, there's lingerie in the, in the window. I'm safe. If anybody, if I know anybody in there, I'm just in there looking for lingerie. That's safe, right? And so I go in there, and **** it, there's people in the store. And so I'm waiting. The store empties, and I went like deer in the headlights up to the woman, and I said, I'm here. I need help. I don't even know what the hell I'm looking for. Please help. And that was my experience in buying my first sex store sex toy.

Speaker A: Oh, my gosh.

Speaker C: Little intimidating, a little uncomfortable. And so that's why we wanted to start the store. There's not a whole lot of stores out there that aren't quite say it nicely. They're a little raunchy. The premise behind the first business premise was that we would create a site that was safe and non intimidating. And we really wanted to focus on the midlife woman, because that's who we are. And we wanted somewhere that women like us would want to shop. And we really thought that's where our, we would hang our hats. And then we got into it, and we realized, oh, my gosh, there is such a massive market. I like to say there's everything from the kea to the bogati, as far as sex toys, as far as lubes, lotions, potions, et cetera, et cetera. And so we really wanted to niche down and find what is our corner of the market. Where can we feel comfortable making recommendations? I mean, we didn't want to have 30,000 skus. I think we're down to about 300 skus. And so we really wanted body safe, reputable women developed where and when possible and really honed in on that market as far as the retail aspect of things. But then we just, as we were doing it, like, we were getting a lot of pushback, and there's just so much stigma and shame really around. I think, in our age group, too, were not given a memo about pleasure and sex. A whole bunch, like, in the Gen X age group.

Speaker B: In my age group, what?

Speaker C: And, yeah, that's where we really thought that there was a hole. So we started talking to doctors. We started talking to gynecologists. We started talking to sex therapists. And now we have a whole skew of them who we consider really good friends, but also part of our community. So every month, we do offer free sexual wellness seminars, and we cover everything from libido to hormones to communication to arousal, orgasm, pain, pelvic floor, everything that pertains to the midlife woman, but every woman and essentially everybody, in terms of relationship and intimacy and ultimately pleasure, it's very.

Speaker B: I mean, I'm 51, so I don't know you lovely ladies. I could not tell how also, like.

Speaker A: You said, like, 47, you started this journey, and I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, you look 37. So I'm just confused. But, uh.

Speaker C: Grandma, oh, my gosh.

Speaker A: Congratulations.

Speaker C: That's amazing.

Speaker B: Fabulous. But I totally. I know. You know, even coming from a different culture, I. You know, I'm from England, and that was another whole thing. But I totally understand what you're saying and how women. Somehow we didn't get the memoir. I don't. I'm not entirely sure we have the memo now, to be honest with you, but I think it's fascinating that you have the courage. Oh, I mean, that's a lot of courage to do that, to go in. To be 47 and go into a store, you know, and ask those questions. I mean, that is very, very courageous. But what do you think? It has changed. Like, you're in this industry now, so you must see a whole gamut of a whole range of views. What do you think's really changed for women in terms of views?

Speaker C: And especially in our age group and our avatar, the patriarchy, has had such a stronghold for so long. I, speaking from experience, only knew pleasure through the experience of being with my husbands. And if they were in the mood and they wanted it one at a.

Speaker B: Time.

Speaker A: Maybe it changed if it was both of them, but they were in.

Speaker C: The mood, depending on what mood, depending on how long they were in the mood and depending on what they wanted, is how I experienced pleasure. I mean, I feel like I missed that memo so early on that my pleasure was, a, my responsibility, and b, subject to. To a whole lot more than what they had in mind. And so I think that that is the truth. We. Last year, we did 14 trade shows from Vegas to Toronto, Vancouver, Red Deer, and so many points in between. And a lot of the conversations were, there's a lot of stigma around sex. I mean, the question coming back to was, what's changed? I think people are getting more open to talking about it. I think the younger generation, like, we do, go to the trade shows, and we sell Lou our signature lou. And the women of our age group are a little bit standoffish I don't need it. I'm not there yet. But anyone of the twenties to thirties, they're like, give me two bottles.

Speaker A: Yeah, why not? That's crazy that they're like, we're not there yet. Everyone needs lube.

Speaker C: Exactly. But our age group, they think that you're saying that they're dried up, basically, yeah. A badge of honor not to need lube.

Speaker A: I'm not exactly.

Speaker B: They associate it with a part of, like, your life that you're going through and that therefore you're getting older, so you need it. I mean, there's even, like, you know, this is a bit of a diversion, but I think, like, I'm not actually at the moment going through the menopause, but I find women, I'm sort of perimenopausal still. Like, women who are older than me, like my aunts and so on, they don't want to talk about it. And they're almost like, oh, yeah, it was nothing. You're like, it wasn't nothing. It's not nothing at all. So there's. Do you know what I mean? So even if you think that is a thing they can't talk about. They can't talk about the menopause, the hormonal changes, how it's very tough. How are they going to talk about sex? I mean, how are they going to do that?

Speaker A: One of our.

Speaker C: She told us that 80% of women will suffer at some point from vaginal dryness, and only 4% have a solution. Either they're too scared to talk about it. They think they're the only one. They don't know that there's a solution out there. Cause no one's talking about it. And she just really. We really want people to know that you don't have to suffer alone. Like, you have to be brave. You have to have a conversation with someone. Or maybe you just come on our store and you order your bachelor moisturizer. I don't know. But yeah, there's still a lot of stigma even talking about. Yeah, menopause.

Speaker A: So what is different about regular lube and your guys's special potion lube?

Speaker C: It's the best **** water based lube you're ever going to find. It's totally organic. It is made in BC. I wish you could feel it right now, but it's really, really silky and it lasts longer, so it's good for the midlife woman. If you're friction is a problem. You want lube in there. You don't want a whole bunch of lube. So a little joy will go a long, long way. But most importantly, what we like to say is, it's not what's in it. It's what's not in it. And I don't have my glasses on. But to read the long list of what's not in it. No propylene glycol, no parabens, no petrochemicals, no mineral oils, no endocrine disruptors, no synthetic fragrance, no synthetic color. We like to say that what you put on your ***** and in your ****** should be as clean and as pure as what you put in your mouth. That's the difference between our loop and so many more out there.

Speaker A: I love that. I so believe in that because I'm very careful about my *****. We're calling it *****, obviously, that's what it is. *****, dryna, whatever the ****. But it is very important. I feel like people don't understand that you're not supposed to wash it with soap. Like, people don't still don't understand that you're actually just not supposed to. It's a self cleansing, self cleaning element.

Speaker C: That goes back to the shame and the stigma. I think a lot of women would see.

Speaker B: Mel doesn't. Mel doesn't actually. No, no, no. I've lived on the earth for a long time. I have a separate soap for my ***** to my body, but there's no way it's not touching some kind of cleansing product. I can't for sure, but I do. I do get it.

Speaker C: Like anything special, it only needs.

Speaker B: So, yeah, it's like very, very gentle. Like I buy something specific, but, yeah, no, I agree. People don't know that, and they don't. And I think our generation also is, like, obsessed with smell and talking about and lots of, like, weird hang ups that we have that I think younger people do not have. These hangouts, not as much. I mean, I think they actually. Shockingly, we found from what we're doing in this podcast, I'm shocked at how many hang ups young people still have. I'm thinking, wow, we're still there. There's still a long way to go for women. I think there really is.

Speaker A: What do you guys think about that?

Speaker C: True. I mean, we can go to the ****, how much **** there is out there, and what young women are trying to live up to these days, you know, social media, trying to live up to, you know, what's on the reel, the highlight reel, and I mean, the multi billion dollar industries to fix us women, you know, we need to look younger. We need to look, you know, brighter or airbrushed or whatever. So ultimately, it's. We can't fix it.

Speaker A: We can't fix it all.

Speaker C: So we're not meant to is take agency over our body, help ourselves, help ourselves, talk about it in finding pleasure, and along the way, treating our sexual health as importantly as our physical, as our mental, as our spiritual, as all aspects of our health. This has to be priority. Did you know another memo? We didn't get along the way. There are so many women out there who don't ever seek a pelvic floor physiotherapist. I didn't. Oh, my God. You're told to do your kegels from a very young age, right? You know, shoulders back, **** up, do your kegels, and. And, you know, smiled, face forward, but. Okay. So at 47, I bought my first vibrator. And once we started growing our community and I learned all about all of what a pelvic floor physiotherapist does, I thought, well, if I'm going to speak to it, I better go experience it. And so there's certain pelvic floor physiotherapists that can do an internal and others that can just, you know, check your. Your pelvis. So, long story short, I went for the whole kitten kaboot, the whole shebang, had the internal, and she says, okay, now perform a kegel. So I did. And she says, try again. So I did. So I've been doing Kegels 51 or not 51 years, but, you know, the better part of my adult life, doing Kegels, thinking I'm taking care of my pelvic floor. Only at 51 to recognize I didn't even know how to do a Kegel properly.

Speaker B: Wow.

Speaker C: On that note, women our age, in our age, and sage should be having two to three orgasms a week for optimal pelvic floor health. We're not talking pleasure. We're talking taking care of what's going on down there to take you through to the next 50 years.

Speaker A: Wow.

Speaker B: Yeah. But I think there's a misconception in our age group that, sorry, we're boring Susie with these old folks stories, but that, you know, we somehow don't function when, in fact, a lot of women or, you know, I think of a lot of my friends or whatever, they're, like, in their sexual prime. I mean, they're like, right. You know, they're going for it. The husbands, maybe not so much, but because, you know, they're sort of going up here and the men are going down here.

Speaker A: But that's weird because I actually do. I have a lot of 50 year old friends, obviously, but, like, I have a lot of guy 50 year old friends. And they are all saying, also, like, obviously, like, now they're into younger women, right? I don't know.

Speaker B: That's new.

Speaker A: No, obviously it's not new, but it's like. It's like they are also in their prime. But, like, where is this, like, you know, misconception of they don't want what the 50 year old women want? Cause I know the 50 year woman are horny. The 50 year old guys are horny, and now they're just not horny for each other. Like, what is going on?

Speaker B: No, no, no. The 50 year old men don't want the 50 year old women. And that's really all.

Speaker A: I don't know if that's all the time know.

Speaker B: Anyway, actually, on the subject of that.

Speaker C: Do you speak on wine? Right. Like, there's a lot of. If you've been with someone for 20 years, maybe it's not Lamido. Maybe you're just bored of having the same sex every night and vibration or too. Yeah, that's a. Yeah. I mean, that's a sex therapist's job to fix that, not ours.

Speaker B: All the problems. But do you, on the subject, as we're talking about men as well, like, you've talked obviously a lot about your company, really, is about solving that solution for midlife women, for the solution of toys and lube and so on. But presumably you encounter men along your journey. You talk to them because they're part of some people's equation. What do you find about how they're educated at certain ages, or what do you find the differences? What's the comment from men, really, that you encountered?

Speaker C: I would say we do talk to women probably 80% of the time, but we do have men ordering on the site, and men, I mean, the majority of them are quite happy that their wives want to add something new into the. And we had a man, I had a gentleman follow me about a month ago because someone had told him about, and he couldn't get through on the website. He's like, will you let me call you? I'm like, sure. We had a conversation. He's like, your sight made me cry. It made me hopeful that my wife and I could have pain free sex because women aren't told all these options that can help you. You don't have to suffer. You don't have to. Sex pain isn't normal. There are solutions, and a lot of women are just suffering. It's probably the most asked question that we get. I'll get an email saying I had sex because it's too painful anymore, always. So I think men are quite happy to help find. Help find solutions. I mean, there's still men out there who probably are a little bit intimidated because they think the vibrator is going to replace them. I mean, I don't think women dream at night. Oh, I can't wait to, you know, cuddle with my vibrator. Like, they still want an emotional, intimate connection. So I think it's just helping men understand. We do have a seminar coming up next month, and it's about introducing toys into the bedroom if there is some intimidation.

Speaker A: Yeah, that's amazing, because I. It is so interesting that men still have this weird misconception of just women. You can't have a vibrator because obviously, like, that is my ****. And it's like, your **** isn't a vibrator. Like, that's just never gonna. It's your partner, right? Like, it's your buddy. It's just so ridiculous.

Speaker C: It really is. But there is still a long standing stigma for certain, for certain couples, not necessarily just men. Well, I have a partner. I don't need a vibrator. Or, you know. Yeah, someone said that to us. Why would I need a vibrator? I have a pasta.

Speaker A: It's like, just have a little bit of something else. It's like, I have pasta every day. Why do I need a salad?

Speaker B: It's like. I mean, exactly. Yeah.

Speaker A: Like, you can differentiate your taste buds.

Speaker B: To me, also, that a mature man would not, like, get it is astounding. Like, hello.

Speaker A: Insecure.

Speaker B: Yeah, very insecure.

Speaker C: Insecurity.

Speaker B: Yeah. But I think a lot of young men, and you think a lot of young men, like, you know, you're 28. A lot of sort of younger men that they don't really get it. And I find that's interesting because they have so much. They're surrounded so much more with it that, you know, their female partners will have sex toys. Unlike our generation, there are all these websites. They know women look at that. They know. We talk about the fact that young women, you know, look at ****. It's not weird, you know? So the fact that they still don't get it is a little mystifying to me.

Speaker C: Well, I mean, how it's portrayed in the media, for sure. Like, think about any. Even a sex scene that you see in a movie. It's like he just sticks his ***** in her and she has an orgasm.

Speaker A: Like, yeah.

Speaker B: And it all just works and it's all great.

Speaker A: Wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't that be frickin nice?

Speaker B: I know. It's fascinating, isn't it?

Speaker A: Yeah, that's, like, my favorite. I remember it, like, because obviously, like, we still grew up with kind of the same movies. Like, right. Like, I remember these sex scenes, and that is what I thought about. And, you know, I've said it in other episodes. Like, my first. My first orgasm was four years after I first had sex. Right. Which, in my idea, is a long time. Maybe that's not for other women who have had longer times, but, like, it's.

Speaker B: Still a long time.

Speaker A: It still feels like a long time. Like, you have these experiences and then you think that you're enjoying them, and because you see what's happening on tv and all these things and you're not at all or as much as you would think that you would be. But that's so great. I literally just, like, I love everything.

Speaker B: You guys are doing.

Speaker A: It's really amazing. It's so important.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: So in terms of, like, we talked when we were talking about this, like, the generations, the differentiation, like, because you talked about it, and obviously that's what your company is doing, because it's serving one generation that perhaps didn't have the education of the current and the younger generations. So what is the big thing that differentiates it? The generations that you find that you come across the most?

Speaker C: I mean, there's still stigma, but I think they are more open. I think maybe their parents are talking to them more. Or maybe, you know what? Maybe it is social media because they're seeing it more, but they do. They're so happy to talk about vibrators with us, where we get a lot of women who still are whispering at our booth of our age group. I think socially, maybe sexual wellness and sex is just becoming a bit more talked about, and so maybe that's passing on down to them. I don't know, the whole social aspect behind it, but from what, who we talk to, the younger kids are more open than our age group, for sure. And there is a ripple effect in our age group. I think with menopause being so prevalent and in the news and so many recent studies and with, you know, all sorts of different, say, workshops or retreats, it's just really starting. Sexual wellness is a growing industry, normalizing, and there is a normalizing of it. And then a lot of people in the community, whether it's doctor Laurie Mintz, who writes becoming clitorate. Or Doctor Laurie Brato who writes better sex through mindfulness. Because it is now on the New York Times bestselling list and it is normalizing. There is a shift. You can buy vibrators at Walmart now. Yeah.

Speaker B: You can buy them in shoppers anywhere. You can buy them in. I tell this story always to Susie that I was in. What's the dynamite? The garage, the, like, older store, dynamite Dinah, you know, the clothing store. It's from Montreal. I don't know if they have it out west. So it's kind of. Is it dynamite? Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, geared sort of women, I suppose, early twenties maybe, starting to go into the workplace. And I was in the store with one of my daughters. I won't name her because she's gonna hate me. And we were buying some stuff, or she was looking to see if she could get some stuff. And at the very sort of, kind of, in this sort of weird kind of way, they had it by the cash. They had some sex toys. And it just like, just looked really weird. Like it was like an afterthought that they thought, well, we have to do this because 20 year olds are coming in, but we're a little bit ashamed of it, but we'll sort of put it there. And that's a bit weird. And I remember, and of course, I'm a bit loud and annoying and very embarrassing.

Speaker A: I'm like, oh, look at to my daughters, like, but it was just like.

Speaker B: Either just do it and have them somewhere in, you know, talk about it and it's part of what you're doing because you're speaking to this generation or just don't have this really sad little shelf because that really is ridiculous. And that I'm, you know, that I'm not embarrassed, but all you 20 year old women are embarrassed is kind of funny. But I mean, I think they sell them also in indigo and like, I.

Speaker A: Don'T know if the stores were online.

Speaker B: Maybe online anthropology, places like that. Yeah, and I, but I, and I.

Speaker A: Think it's part of your wellness now.

Speaker B: Yeah. But I think the thing that's changed is that young women all buy them and that's not the issue. They still don't talk about it.

Speaker C: True.

Speaker B: But there's still, like a bit of a weird thing about we don't talk about it.

Speaker C: We don't stick. There is still Sigma, but I have to say at a few trade shows that we've been to some of our most heartfelt experiences are mother and daughters buying vibrators together. Together. I'm obsessed with the deal they'll take. You know, mom gets one. We had the mother with the bride and the bride, and then we had, what about an 18 year old? Yeah, she got her mom to buy her one at the show. Mom's like, I don't have a vibrator. Tell me about this. How does it work? And she was happy to buy it for her daughter. It is a part of how empowering.

Speaker A: I love that.

Speaker B: Yeah, definitely.

Speaker A: Really, so great. Like, you don't.

Speaker B: You don't.

Speaker A: You would not get that even, like, five years ago. And I think social media does have actually a huge part of that. Right. Like, where obviously social media is horrible in so many ways, but it does have these. You're able to talk about it and find people that like the same things that you could like or make you want to maybe like, oh, maybe it isn't so weird that I actually do want to find something that makes me come not. That's not a day.

Speaker B: Thank you, Susie.

Speaker A: You're welcome.

Speaker B: She likes to be clear and straight to the point.

Speaker C: We lost you there, but we're back here. Oh, oh, you lost the whole bit.

Speaker B: No, good.

Speaker C: Honestly. Probably a good thing.

Speaker A: It's a good thing. But I think one of the other things.

Speaker B: She's coughing.

Speaker C: No, you're good, you're good, you're good.

Speaker A: And we're talking about the different generations. Do you see that there's new trends that are coming in into sex toys, vibrators. Rabbits were really huge in the nineties now. Big black ***** or something coming up. Like, what is.

Speaker B: Well, the little rose.

Speaker A: What are.

Speaker B: Yeah, the little rose. That's a thing.

Speaker A: Like, what are the big trends right now?

Speaker C: Two that come to mind right now is the. The spike in couples vibrators, whereas amazing, there was couple pleasure, whether it's a vibrating **** ring or whether it's a rabbit. But the couples vibrators have. I think they're, they're. They're finding a surgeon in, in sales app enabled. So your husband or your partner or whoever can be across the world and controlling or across the table. Yep.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker C: I mean, I think every woman should have a clitoral vibrator, and a lot of women still don't. Like if the ******** is built for pleasure, and that's how most women orgasm. Everyone needs a clitoral fiber, not some penetrative thing. That's just going to be like a *****. For the women who are experiencing vaginal dryness, and discomfort and, and, and the whole notion of finding a very soft, non penetrative, quote, massager, that they come in all these discreet little sizes and it doesn't have to be a whole lot of vibration, but to use it as a massager down there to help stimulate blood flow, et cetera, et cetera, there is, there's a whole new use for vibrators for not just pleasure, but helping to create arousal and get things ready.

Speaker B: Yeah, no, I mean, absolutely. I mean, I wish more people knew about it. I just, I think there's still this sort of feeling of sex toys, particularly for women, although many more women have them, that it's something you use on your own, it's something you do, you know, in the privacy of your. But know that you can use it with your partner. It can be really helpful, particularly and really fun and everything. And particularly if you're going through different stages or, and there's no shame in also changing as a woman. You know, whether you're 30 or 40 or 50, you change. You need different things. Your body, who cares? You do what you need to do to feel good, and you need a partner who's on board with that as far as I'm concerned. But I think there needs to be more conversation around that. I don't, I don't honestly think from the people we talk to that they kind of get that in a weird way.

Speaker A: Well, even like, my friends who are like, in their, like, twenties, hey, you've told me this. Even early thirties, I find that, like, sometimes they just like, yeah, I don't have a vibrator. And I'm like, what? What's wrong with you? Like, you're literally just not putting more pleasure into your life. Like, you're being like, no, I'm good. I don't want more. I don't want more fun. Like, what is going on?

Speaker B: It's fascinating, isn't it? They're in their twenties.

Speaker C: We don't want them to get to be 47 and then make up for lost time. Because now I have 27, 28 in my tool, in my toy box, some order you gotta make up top pleasure. Like, that's. We get a lot of info from our sex therapist. Like, why aren't girls taught pleasure? Why aren't girls taught that sex shouldn't hurt? Like, I'm sure every girl, when first time she has sex, it doesn't feel good. Like, why aren't they taught different ways to make that feel good? Why does it have to be a ****** experience? You know?

Speaker A: So how did you guys do all of this research, obviously, super important research for like, what toys are great, like how do you, how your loop, how you want your loop to be? Like, how did you guys come to, like, all of these conclusions?

Speaker C: A lot of research and development. Had to try a lot of toys out. As far as that goes.

Speaker A: That's my job. You can send me those and I will do that for you.

Speaker C: All seriousness, we took about nine months and did a lot of comprehensive research, and that was just to curate collection online. Thereafter, as Cass spoke to very early on, it is making the connections and finding the experts. We'd like to say we are conduit. We don't have any education, formal education in this, but we've sought out medical experts and savvy sexperts who speak to every facet of sexual wellness. If we can be that conduit on this platform where we can help connect the midlife woman or, you know, earlier or later life women to the toys or the information that they're seeking, then that's what we pride ourselves on, is being that conduit.

Speaker B: Okay. And I did see on your site, you sell toys for men, too, and you mentioned men maybe perhaps more contacting you or buying stuff for women. So you have clients that are men that are buying toys for men. What are they buying?

Speaker C: We don't have a huge collection just because we are focused on women. And, you know, we've tried, we tried them out. We can't.

Speaker B: Fair enough.

Speaker C: But we do have a small curated collection that we, we've talked to our wholesalers and our distributors, what works and prostate massagers definitely are trending. And men are becoming curious, I think because prostate health, you know, it's not just there. There is some advantages to use of a prostate massager. Then, of course, there's a traditional vibrating cop ring. But as far as the collection, as kes says we are, we have a smaller collection of toys geared toward the man's body. But that's not to say that what we do have is of the higher end. That is, is in alignment with our others body, safe and, and reputable. And there's no reason that a woman like, they don't have to be gendered. A lot of them don't have to be gendered. They'll want love for men and women on different parts of their, you know, Peter. Roger.

Speaker A: Yeah, I love that. I mean, like, so obviously you have either, obviously any kind of gender coming to your site, buying these amazing toys, buying your incredible lube, hopefully both at once, because you need lube even when you're using a toy. Let's not forget the lube, okay? Not just with Lube.

Speaker C: What's better than lube? I always ask this.

Speaker B: Spit.

Speaker A: No, I'm just kidding.

Speaker C: I always joke around at these shows. I say, what's better than lube? More lube.

Speaker B: Yes, very good.

Speaker A: Yes, 100%. The wetter the better, right?

Speaker C: Exactly.

Speaker A: The ***** doesn't lie. But sometimes she needs a little help, you know, telling the truth. Well, so when someone's buying their first toy, and whether that being, you know, maybe someone who's in their twenties or their forties, their fifties, their eighties, what is the best advice that you can give them to buy their first toy?

Speaker C: Everybody is different. So it's going to take a little bit of research and development, but I would probably always start with the ********. It simulates the world. Yeah, it's pleasure air. It really. It really just depends on who you are. I mean, if you're older and they are having painful sex. The magic little micro wand is a lovely external all over vibrator. It is so cute and so fun. And it's a really good price point. Like I would get. I would think everyone could just do well by having the magic microwave. It's a wish we had it here, but we just came from a marketplace this weekend. But the good old fashioned magic wand that everybody has known, and it started out very much as a massager, literally, the. The micro is like the size of my index finger. So tiny and discreet. So, yeah, that is kind of a tried test. True. Has a long history of being reputable, but then it comes down to, do you want something that is. Is penetrative or non penetrative? Do you want something that is both. Both pleasure, you know, is it for coupled use? Is it just. We've got a feather these days and really it's just this nice little vibration that you could use for your nipples, that you can just use for very soft, sensual touch with or without a partner. So it really. Yeah. Your age, your stage solo partnered. Recommend having a few. It's like, you know, the sushi, the pasta, the, you know, the steak, the burgers, the whatever.

Speaker A: Why are you limiting yourself? Like, that's what I never got.

Speaker C: Womanizer has done a ton of research and development, and they brought in women who had never had orgasms. Of those women, 90% were able to have an organism using the womanizer, which has the pleasure error. So I think that's a good one. Just if you've never had an orgasm before, start there.

Speaker A: Yeah, it's truly amazing. Like, the fact that.

Speaker B: Oh, my God.

Speaker A: Like, women who. And I have. I have friends, so many friends who don't orgasm from sex at all. Even if the man is touching the ******** or it's just like, it's not gonna happen. And whether that's, like, stage fright maybe a little bit, or just, like, pressure, or they just, like, don't really understand that. Like, what's, like, how to feel? I don't know. I don't know, obviously. But it's.

Speaker B: Yeah, you have to know how to.

Speaker A: Use your own body before you allow someone else to use it for you a little bit. And, like, why are we always. And, like, this is how I felt so long ago when I started having sex. It's like we just allow ourselves to kind of be in the control of someone else. Like, they should know. It's like, no, I'm sorry. This 18 year old boy is not gonna know what the **** my ******** looks like. He hasn't even seen a ******** yet. Like, why to be a 30 year old anything anyway.

Speaker B: But I think a lot of women, it's a long journey. So, like, almost like you're, you're saying also, like, a lifetime for. You're like, oh, actually, I can control. I can manage this. It's my thing. It's my body. Because we're not.

Speaker C: I really think that a. It's to know your body and to know it well, to know what brings it pleasure. But the second is to be able to communicate and talk openly and freely. Being open, real, raw, vulnerable, letting your partner know. And stop faking orgasms, because you're just teaching him that that's how it works, and it doesn't work. So what's the point of teaching him that? Talking about sex, talking about pleasure, intimacy begets better sex. You need to talk about it. You need to express yourself and not fear that you're going to be judged for not claiming your gateway to pleasure.

Speaker B: Yeah. What you need, what you want. There's no shame in that.

Speaker A: I love that you brought up faking orgasm because I faked my orgasm for so long. And I think a lot of women. Yeah, ladies, ladies.

Speaker C: That that's what he should do next time.

Speaker B: It's so dumb.

Speaker A: It's so freaking dumb. And we all do it. I don't know why we do it, because we feel this weird pressure of, like, oh, my God, he has to know that I wanted this kind of. And, like, I don't want him to be mad at me and, like, I don't I don't know if I. This feels good. I don't know if I'm ever gonna come like. And then it stresses upset even more. And I think, you know, more than not like this just, it's such a bad cycle and we don't know how to stop either. And like, that was me for a really long time. So anyways, ladies, anyone who's listening, who's faking orgasm, still nice. Don't stop it. I think go to intimate well being. Get yourself a little sex toy for crazy.

Speaker B: I think women do it also.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: Because they just want to get it over and done with. They're like, ugh, whatever, just get this over and done with.

Speaker C: The difficult conversation is the sexy conversation. It's that difficult one that is going to bring change and hopefully elevate your experience, your experienced, partnered, but have that **** difficult conversation.

Speaker B: But very difficult. I mean, on the subject of difficult conversations, I assume that's why a lot of people find you find your company because they're finding that all very difficult. What's the main thing? Do people say they're looking for you when they're finding you other than obviously a toy, but there must be a bit more than that because there are lots and lots of companies out there that sell sex toys. And you're a niche, but you're also, you know, you have education around what you're doing and you're a lot more than just a sex toy company. And you have a lube that you've developed. So what is it that people specifically are looking for when they find you? Do you find, do you know, do you.

Speaker C: I mean, keeping track of what the customer service questions that we got. It's just the two of us. So we're answering every email, we're answering every DM. I think for our age group, to be honest, it's all about pain. There's atrophy, there's vaginismus. There's a lot of women who want to know if there's a product that can help with that and there are. That can help with that. But there's also pelvic floor physio.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: So what are the products? Because I don't think that's a. That's one thing that's a huge difference in our generations, like, for the moment anyways, like, we're not having, let's say, as many of these problems. I don't actually know if that's true.

Speaker C: But, like, happen at any. Right. Like, I mean, if you've just had a baby if you're going through half postpartum, right? So there are products. There's, there's a vaginal moisturizer, there's always use lube, there's use a little vibrator. I mean, if you haven't, if it's kind of a use it or lose it kind of thing. So if you just, you're tensing up every time you have sex, it's going to be in your brain, too. So you need to, you probably do need a little vibrator just to practice insertion a little bit. Um, there are dilators that I know a lot of physio. We have them on our site, and physios do recommend them. I'm not of the huge fan of them because there's no pleasure in that. Like, if you just have to lie there and put a dilator in, which I can see there's a lot of women who can't even put a baby finger in. Right. So it's probably a very good way to start. But if you had a tiny vibrator and maybe getting a little bit of pleasure at the same time, to me, that would be such a nicer experience. So there are dilators, there's small bullets, there's the vaginal moisturizer, there's just lose the **** loo, ladies. But that speaks to the dryness component, the one pain point of what brings people to our site. We have a tagline midway down our page. Are you shy, dry, or bored? And if you're not, we still have something for you.

Speaker B: Yeah, right.

Speaker C: Because those speak to kind of the negative connotations or the pain points of our avatar. But we also have the pleasure aspect. And like Cass says, it, loop in the pain into the pleasure. And let's face it, if you've been on our website, it is an elevated experience. If you have somebody walking behind your computer while you're sitting on the couch having a glass of wine and browsing the store, it's not like one those typical raunchy sites where you see a neon green ***** flashing. It's a very elevated experience where you feel safe and comfortable and you want to spend time browsing not only the retail section, but then under the blog that will speak to the pain, the arousal, desire, libido, communication, everything. It is an indexed platform of evidence based research that is ever so important in this world of misinformation.

Speaker B: Yeah, normalizing it. You're normalizing it. You're not making it, sensationalizing it, or making it just. This is normal. Like buying a vibrator should be like buying groceries. Buying groceries. Buying a loaf of bread.

Speaker A: Do you guys have your own personal favorite toys that you guys want to share with our audience?

Speaker C: That is so easy. It's the chorus, really? It's the weaver chorus, and I love it. It's a couples vibrator. But I don't know whether I just love it because of the tempo, the tone, the intensity, all of the settings. But with or without my partner, he's in Europe half the time. With or without my partner, that is my go to.

Speaker B: Love that.

Speaker C: And I am loving them. Little micro magic wand. And I love that we have another little one that I really like. It's the melt. I like that one. That's really nice. And we both love the beads. Oh, my gosh. The beads.

Speaker A: Oh, yeah.

Speaker C: Just for a little subtle foreplay. Could be going upstairs, vacuuming. You can just have them. But if you know that you're, you know, having a date night going on.

Speaker A: You can, you know, I am obsessed with it.

Speaker B: Wow.

Speaker C: Vacuuming.

Speaker A: Okay, so I have a few. Let me tell you. Okay, let me tell you my list. Let me tell my wallet.

Speaker B: Okay.

Speaker A: My Hanukkah list. Yeah. So definitely big fan of the little sucky sucky.

Speaker C: Whatever.

Speaker A: That's the little womanizer, right? Huge fan of the womanizer. Always love a good rabbit. Always. I love a ***** pump. Have you guys tried those?

Speaker B: What's a ***** pump?

Speaker A: It pumps your *****.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker B: What is that?

Speaker A: Really? Honestly, you don't use it in a huge way. You just have to use it a little bit so that there's a little bit more blood flow. Great for foreplay. Ladies, if you haven't tried it.

Speaker B: Get.

Speaker A: Your little ***** pump going. It's just like. It's like. Don't make it, like, crazy. This isn't like a crazy thing. It's just like, add a little.

Speaker B: It's kind of like.

Speaker A: It's kind of like a ***** pump for guys who are having problems, but it's for *****. And it just. It just gets a little blood flowing. It gets the juices going.

Speaker C: It's like a battery charger or whatever.

Speaker A: Is it not like it's just like. It's like a.

Speaker C: Okay, we have more R and D.

Speaker B: You better start selling those.

Speaker C: I don't even know what those are.

Speaker A: Just in case. Just in case you're wondering.

Speaker C: Whoa.

Speaker B: Yeah, you better look into them. Definitely.

Speaker A: That's a huge. I'm a huge fan of those right now.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Get you wondering.

Speaker C: Anyway, it was great to have toys. I mean, obviously in your bedside drawer. But to have some that are easy to take on the plane, put in your purse, you know, long car ride. I'm just gonna think about you vacuuming the beads.

Speaker B: Every time I'm gonna look at a.

Speaker C: Vacuum in a different.

Speaker A: From now on, we're gonna have way more fun cleaning now.

Speaker C: Wow. This could be so much more interesting. That means pleasurable, especially when you're going up and down the stairs.

Speaker A: Oh, my God. I'm obsessed with this right now. Absolutely.

Speaker B: And Suzy hates cleaning, so it's maybe now that she's gonna see in a whole new light.

Speaker C: There you go to it. You need to have the rabbit. You need to have, you know, the beads, something for the ****, you know, a little wine, little wand clothes. Every day you have. You eat different food every day. Why? You just, you know, it depends on your mood, what you need.

Speaker B: Exactly.

Speaker C: It's like rolling shoes, stilettos, running shoes. You have to have a few options of footwear.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Something convenient, and then something a little more special for a special occasion.

Speaker C: Something like the *****.

Speaker A: Like the ***** pump.

Speaker C: We have a what? A $12,000 vibrator on our site. If there's anyone listening, they're available. We have a 19,500 vibrator on our site.

Speaker A: Gold. Like, solid gold. Why is someone gonna buy this? And, like, maybe I will, but, like, tell me why.

Speaker C: If you have everything, or if you're buying a gift for the person who has everything, they don't have a gold vibrator. True.

Speaker B: Fair enough.

Speaker A: I am 100% obsessed with this. Mel, chronic list. Done.

Speaker C: You know, just a. A talk factor. And here we are talking about it. So now everybody's going to log on and look for this luxurious, I hope. We want everyone.

Speaker A: You know what I would do if I had that? I would put it in, like, one of those cases that you put, like, if you won an Oscar, you'd put it in a case, you'd put it on your mantle. That's what I would do.

Speaker C: Right next to your bottle of Okanagan joy. Right, exactly.

Speaker A: It's beautiful. It's, like, on the mantle, it's like, exactly. What? A talking piece.

Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

Speaker A: And then you use it in front of everyone. Obviously, that's something else, right?

Speaker C: We don't judge. We've heard everything. No judgment. Yeah. Yes.

Speaker A: Oh, my God.

Speaker C: Amazing.

Speaker A: Okay, well, we have one last question for you ladies. We asked this to all of our gorgeous guests, and it is. We'll ask both of you. We want both of you to answer. It is in the spirit of sharing truths today, you know? What would you tell your younger self as you women right now?

Speaker C: My pleasure is my responsibility.

Speaker B: Very good.

Speaker C: I miss that memo. My life would have been completely different. I may have not been so rigid, tense, and bitchy at times. Have they speak my pleasure seriously or in my own hands? Yeah. Are we talking sex here? Is that what I.

Speaker B: Anything.

Speaker A: Literally anything.

Speaker C: I think I would just tell myself that I was the main character of my story and not to be passive and to go for it. I think always women are kind of. They don't know that they're the main character of their story. I should have told myself that I was the main character of my story a long time ago. That's a good.

Speaker B: I like that.

Speaker A: I love that. I think that's a huge thing right now. It's like main character, main character energy. Like, start.

Speaker C: Like, it will all work out in the end. If someone had just said that to me, you know, it would have been helpful. Could have been helpful.

Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker A: That's so much like, that's so important. Honestly. Own your own pleasure. I think a lot of younger women even, like, just starting out on their sexual journeys, no matter how old they are, a lot of women have to. Young women have to really understand that. I think that's so important. And then that will help with being the main character of the story 100%.

Speaker C: Exactly.

Speaker B: Exactly.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: Well, thank you very much.

Speaker A: So, so much. We'll let you guys plug. Plug your little socials and your website one more time for everyone right now.

Speaker C: Intimatewellbeing.com. You can find us on instagram at intimate dot wellbeing. And we do have a nice SHARETRUTH15. If any of your listeners would like to get 15% off, all caps share truth 15.

Speaker B: It is amazing.

Speaker C: And by the Okanagan joy, that's our plug for our best **** water based lube you're ever gonna find. That's our.

Speaker B: We will mention it all on our social. Yes. When the episode goes out again. Yeah.

Speaker A: Oh, my God, guys, go get this lube. We have some.

Speaker B: We do.

Speaker A: We've used it. I don't know, but I'm used to. I love it. It's incredible. It's supple, it's sweet. It's, you know, it's everything you want in a lube. And it's fun to use with a partner. Fun to use by yourself. Just use it.

Speaker B: There you go. There you go.

Speaker A: It's my personal, personal preference.

Speaker C: Thank you so much for your time.

Speaker A: You guys have been amazing. We can't wait to have you guys back once we have questions from our listeners we'd love to guys have you guys back. Maybe answer some of those questions. That would be so awesome. So our listeners who are listening guys email sharingmytruth.com go to our socials at sharingmytruthpod and if you have any questions about toys or not toys, why use lube?

Speaker C: Ask us lancast. Yeah they can answer the question wellbeing or come on our website and fill their cart. We always have some great promos and stuff going on.

Speaker A: Okay amazing. Awesome. Thank you guys so so much. We will talk to you very soon though.

Speaker B: Thank you so much.

Speaker A: Enjoy the rest of your evening.

Speaker B: Bye. Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at sharingmytruthpod and leave us a voicemail on our website sharingmytruth.com to share your stories and experiences is with us. We'll see you next time. Bye.

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