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Episode 75  -  The Truth: Dating In London Vs Toronto
Melany Krangle & Suzie Sheckter

[00:00] Suzie: Welcome to sharing my truth with Mel and Suzie. The uncensored version where we bear it all.

[00:06] Mel: We do 1234.

[00:22] Suzie: Hello, everyone. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to sharing my truth, Paul Todd. We're broadcasting live from London and here's a cute little friendly reminder to share your truth with us, share your truths with us. Go to sharing my truth pod on the socials and leave us a voicemail. Emails. We want to hear from you guys. We'll talk about my story today and then I want to hear your guys' but here we are. Hey, babes.

[00:54] Mel: Hello, darling.

[00:55] Suzie: How are you?

[00:56] Mel: I'm fabulous. Here we are in London town.

[00:58] Suzie: Isn't this amazing?

[00:59] Mel: And it's sunny.

[01:01] Suzie: This is unlike anything I've ever seen in my life. And if you're watching this on YouTube, you'll see I'm very pale, so I fit in right away.

[01:07] Mel: She does just with perfect.

[01:09] Suzie: With all the other pale people.

[01:11] Mel: Yeah. Vitamin deficient.

[01:13] Suzie: Completely. I feel completely vitamin deficient. Yeah, I feel a little hungover. Mel has been really running my money out, as in my health.

[01:24] Mel: Wow. It's my fault.

[01:27] Suzie: No, it's the vibe here. I love the vibe.

[01:30] Mel: The vibe is very social.

[01:32] Suzie: It is so fun. Obviously, the drinking is probably a problem, but the fact that everyone's down to go out, everyone wants to hang out, everyone wants to be outside, walk around the tube, you know, getting on the tube and getting off the tube.

[01:51] Mel: And you've done so well with your lingo.

[01:54] Suzie: You going to watch sport and things?

[01:58] Mel: Wow, it's getting better. And if she lived here, it would be amazing.

[02:02] Suzie: I know.

[02:02] Mel: Yeah. Well, we're in London, so obviously I talk about the English. I don't want to, you know, get anybody else into trouble, but yes, the English. Well, generally the English, the Scottish, the Irish, the Welsh, we are sociable bunch. We like talking. And that's the other thing you've noticed, haven't you, how much people ******* talk.

[02:21] Suzie: It's unbelievable. Like, even for me. And you can't shut me up. Like, I'm like, I need some peace and quiet at the end of the day because it's just like, there's so much going on.

[02:30] Mel: There's a lot of talking people. And when you go, like, we went to a store the other day, very posh store, Harvey Nichols, and you're buying something. And there's a whole chat, chat, chat. And actually she forgot to take the tag off.

[02:41] Suzie: Yeah.

[02:41] Mel: So then there was a chat chat with the security guy.

[02:44] Suzie: Yes.

[02:44] Mel: But like, everything is a chat. Everything is an opportunity to have a bit of banter.

[02:49] Suzie: Yes.

[02:50] Mel: And that's just what it's like.

[02:51] Suzie: And the people love it.

[02:52] Mel: They do. It's like they need it to live, to thrive. It's like our thing.

[02:57] Suzie: It's really good.

[02:58] Mel: Really? Explain what it is.

[02:59] Suzie: No, it feels like. It feels good. I just. I was taking an Uber this morning because I had an adult sleepover.

[03:07] Mel: She did. With a friend, and I was not there. Anybody get any ******* weird ideas? I was not there.

[03:18] Suzie: But, yeah, so that was fun. But I mean, just taking that uber down all of these incredible streets. Every street looks so oldie timey and gorgeous and they're renovating, but it still has that gorgeous royal look with all the brick and the gold, and it's so glam. You feel more glamorous here or something. Maybe that's just me.

[03:41] Mel: It's old.

[03:41] Suzie: It's old.

[03:42] Mel: To be fair, it's old Lady Di. You know, you can't get Lady Di. Can't get her out of your head, can you? Like, I love her anyway. But we've had lots of adventures.

[03:52] Suzie: Oh, haven't we?

[03:53] Mel: And we've seen so many things. And what are we talking about today? Since it's relevant to you and not remotely relevant to me?

[04:01] Suzie: Well, here's the thing. I had probably my first date with a young gentleman that, you know, that I do know. So I met him. I met him last year, which is so funny. Met him last year when I was traveling. And he's from around here and I.

[04:22] Mel: Around here?

[04:22] Suzie: Yeah. Well, in the UK.

[04:24] Mel: Around somewhere.

[04:25] Suzie: Around somewhere. He has an accent of sorts. And where the **** is he from? I don't know. And Scottish. Scottish? He's scottish. He's a little, adorable, gorgeous boy. I can't do his accent. It's very hard, Mel. You definitely could. I made him send Mel a voice note this morning to make sure that she knew that I was okay.

[04:46] Mel: But you told him to do an irish accent.

[04:48] Suzie: I didn't. I told him to do a Scottish. Oh, he didn't want to. He's like, no, Irish is more fun. Very good. Very good voice.

[04:56] Mel: He has a very nice voice. Yes.

[04:58] Suzie: But, yeah, so. Met him a little while ago, and then we finally hung out again and had some fun, obviously. And, yeah, it was the most interesting thing because I'm used to going out with much older guys and it's weird. And I'm like, is this because it's a british thing and men who are maybe like, he's 27, so obviously not that young. Not like 23 or anything like that, but 27. And he was such a gentleman. Maybe it's the chemistry that we had, but such a gentleman. Great in bed. Great in bed. And I was like, is this you? Is this us? Or is it. Cause you are from the UK.

[05:46] Mel: Interesting.

[05:47] Suzie: So I don't know what it is. I don't know if I'm ever gonna go out with another Gen Z. I don't think he changed my mind about the whole.

[05:54] Mel: Why?

[05:55] Suzie: About the whole people. I don't know. I just think, like, I feel like I just don't trust. I don't trust the fact that they're all like this, that they're all adorable and sweet and caring and nice. I just don't know.

[06:10] Mel: Well, I mean, he's. At the end of the day, he's not that much younger than you, right? So it's kind of like, it's weird that he's in a different generation. So he's like an older Gen Z and you're a very young millennial.

[06:22] Suzie: Yeah.

[06:22] Mel: So kind of. Is there much difference? I don't know, but, you know, he's, he's, he's. He's in your sort of age group. It's just that you're used to older men who are more established and a different part of their life. So they obviously probably socially do different things and they're different and all that.

[06:41] Suzie: It's just so interesting, because if I went back to Toronto and I was like, you know what? This guy changed my mind. I'm gonna start dating younger guys in quotations. Guys who are like 27 or like my age. I hate those guys. They are so annoying. So it's like, what is it about? Is it here? Is it. The UK are all cutie patooties? Like 27, 28, or like 25 guys who are like, oh, no, I'm actually a very nice person and I just wanna. I don't just wanna hook up or. I'm actually care about you, do you know what I mean? Or I actually still have chivalry. Yeah, exactly. Where it's like, none of the Toronto guys that I've met that are younger than me have reminded me of this guy.

[07:22] Mel: So what are they like?

[07:24] Suzie: Ugh. They're just like. I mean, Toronto's a very weird city where it's like you want to kind of do the coolest thing always. You're kind of just like, you know, you're searching for your kind of group, you're searching for the coolest crowd. And I feel like there's a lot of those guys that are out there, and they're very self centered too. They're kind of like, like, also being on hinge back home versus here is hilarious. Cause a lot of it is like, oh, I wanna watch sports. And I like, back home, like, in Toronto, he's like, they're like, I wanna watch sports and I hope you. I wanna play tennis with you and I wanna go on these adventures. And I'm like, it's all about you. Like, what is this where it's like being in the UK and men are like, oh, I wanna get to know you. All I asked is that you and a lot of them have this weird thing about, like, you know, just be beautiful. Well, these are actually the older guys that I've been hinging, hinging, hinging on the UK. But they're all like, all I ask is that you be beautiful. Is that it? No, it's ridiculous. And I'm like, okay, so these are the older guys in the UK, but the younger guys in the UK are nicer and cuter than the younger and cuter guys in Toronto. But the older guys in Toronto are better than the older guys here. Does that make sense?

[08:43] Mel: It does, yes. And I actually think that may sound about right. Actually, I just think, I mean, I don't know. I mean, I've never dated a Gen Z and I'm never probably ever going to Jaded Gen Z. That would be absurd. It might be somewhat disturbing.

[08:59] Suzie: But if you're still married. But if you are not.

[09:01] Mel: Yeah, exactly. But I mean, maybe in this guy's case, and maybe generically, he's traveled a bit, he's seen some of the world.

[09:10] Suzie: And I feel like that's a lot of uk people.

[09:12] Mel: It's very, very common in the UK.

[09:14] Suzie: Yeah.

[09:15] Mel: Because we are a tiny and very cold island, so we spend our entire time wanting to leave this tiny island.

[09:22] Suzie: Yes.

[09:23] Mel: So people, british people generally do travel a lot. Like when they go on vacation, like everybody I know has been all over the place. Yeah, it's kind of a thing, you know, and I think North Americans, I think it's also because North America is a very, very big place, so you could really just stay there and never have to go anywhere, whereas you really can't do that here. That would be a huge problem. So maybe you're more traveled, maybe you're, it's interesting, you say, about the sort of respect for women, I don't know what that is. Or more interested in you, which is kind of fascinating in the sense that he knows, he'll get a better experience if he treats you better.

[10:02] Suzie: Maybe, but.

[10:03] Mel: But that. Why men in Toronto wouldn't know that. I have no idea. Or this is north american.

[10:09] Suzie: I don't know either. I think they. Yeah, maybe it's the well traveled thing. Like this morning when I left, he was like, oh, yeah, I've got to go see my mom. Like, I've got to go visit.

[10:20] Mel: I'm like, okay, that's a big thing here. No, it's a huge thing. Right. The mother, like, you know, obviously I'm a mom. Your mom is. It's a bit like. It's almost like italian. And I know people think, or what you would think of a european, right, mama? But mum is all powerful in the UK. Like, your mother is really important. She's the center of the family. She does everything. And not in the traditional sense, like in Italy. Like, you know, she's sitting there cooking. This idea we have of the italian mama, you know, most of my friends work, but mom is really important. And you respect your mom, you love your mom, and you have a good relationship with your mom because. I know it's weird, but we're really into communication about that. But mom's really important. Like.

[11:06] Suzie: Yeah. So that must be something about it too.

[11:08] Mel: It is a thing because my children have said to me, I am different to their friends, right. Because the mum culture here is very. Mum's really important. You respect mum. Don't mess around with your mum. Yeah.

[11:21] Suzie: Does anyone respect their mother back home as much here?

[11:25] Mel: It's a big thing, right. And maybe. And not in a juvenile way. It's just she's your mother. She gave you life. She's done everything for you. She's really important. And also, I don't think there's such a big thing here about socializing. You can socialize with your parents, right? I mean, it's like we do that because also we all. I think maybe it's because we're very social. So we're still drinking, still having fun, still having a giggle.

[11:50] Suzie: Yeah. And drinking age is way lower here, right? No one cares.

[11:55] Mel: It's lower. It's like 16 for sort of going to a pub, but nobody cares. And then you start drinking when you're 14.

[12:00] Suzie: Right?

[12:00] Mel: I mean, I'm not selling, you know, it's not healthy. I'm not saying it's good. It's just. It's very, very social.

[12:05] Suzie: Just that's the vibe.

[12:06] Mel: Yeah, it's the vibe. I think there's more intergenerational crossover from, you know, what you've told people are.

[12:12] Suzie: More mature here, for sure.

[12:14] Mel: Oh, yeah, for sure. I think people are more mature also because of the education system.

[12:20] Suzie: Yeah.

[12:21] Mel: You have to, like, you know, do very intense exams and very adult stuff. Even in high school, it's very different. It's not as juvenile.

[12:31] Suzie: Yeah.

[12:31] Mel: So you feel, I guess, more mature in that sense. So, yeah, I think that you're probably right. And women are respected. It's important. So if you respect your mother, if you find a man who not in a weird way, but loves his mom, wants to spend time with his mom, she is the first woman in his life, then he's probably gonna respect women.

[12:55] Suzie: Yeah.

[12:55] Mel: And also, we're not weird about sex. Like, the mum knows that he's gone out with you. She's not gonna get all weird about it.

[13:04] Suzie: Right.

[13:04] Mel: And think, oh, no, he's not having sex. Well, of course he is. If he's a handsome 27 year old who travels the world. Oh, he's cute. I don't think we're weird about that. Yeah.

[13:13] Suzie: I mean, it's great. Like, are you talking about sex at a younger age, or do you guys just, like, know what's happening?

[13:19] Mel: Hmm, that's interesting. Um, I mean, I think it depends on the family. I think, like, yeah. Like anybody, we have sex education in school, which is totally useless because. And you don't really understand what any of it means. And it's all a giggle.

[13:35] Suzie: It's like they talk about orgasms. They talk about.

[13:36] Mel: No. And they can't create. It's so difficult.

[13:39] Suzie: Right. Yeah.

[13:39] Mel: Because a lot of people don't like it. I do think we're a lot more normal, a lot more sort of restrained in some ways. Like, you've joked about me being a bit more. Less touchy, feeling more sort of like this.

[13:57] Suzie: Mel's deep breath is just a restrained breathe in.

[14:01] Mel: Yes. And she teases me about it all the time.

[14:04] Suzie: That is the funniest thing.

[14:05] Mel: But I think, I don't know. Being social is really important. It's one of the things I found very weird about moving to Toronto, especially in the winter. I found everyone kind of hibernated.

[14:16] Suzie: Yes.

[14:17] Mel: And here they do not do that. Like, because if you didn't go out because it rained, as you've seen, you'd never leave your house.

[14:24] Suzie: Yeah.

[14:25] Mel: So everyone always like, you know, we've been socializing. We're seeing friends of mine this weekend. You've been out. We've been to dinner. Everyone's like, no, no, I got to see you. And they just clear a space. And it doesn't have to be this whole thing. Just come round. Like, have some spaghetti and a glass of wine. Nobody really cares. Just come round. I want to see you. It's not about this whole performance of having the right food and the right this and the right that. Like, people are kind of prepared at any moment for somebody to drop by and have a glass of wine or a cup of tea.

[14:56] Suzie: That's so nice.

[14:57] Mel: I mean, I'm not saying you just drop by to people's houses. You make arrangements, but, you know. Cause obviously that's. Your people are busy, and I'm not doing that. No, it's just not a big thing. Oh, yeah. A couple of people coming over for dinner. Okay, fine. Great. We don't have to have this whole. Let's organize this eight weeks in advance, which I find North Americans are a bit.

[15:19] Suzie: Yes.

[15:19] Mel: So maybe that, in turn, affects everything. And maybe just. You're talking about this 27 year old guy. He's probably just a lot more mature.

[15:27] Suzie: Yeah.

[15:29] Mel: And this idea that, you know, he's, like, sort of restrained or conservative or not in touch with his emotions, which is what I think a lot of people think british people are. But that's a certain kind of british person. It's not everyone. Like, you're thinking prince. Sorry, King Charles or the royal family is, like, every british person. Well, of course they're not.

[15:52] Suzie: Yeah.

[15:52] Mel: They're actually pretty friendly on the whole.

[15:55] Suzie: Yeah. You know, it's pretty amazing. The people here and the amount. Okay, but can I just say the amount of.

[16:02] Mel: Go ahead.

[16:03] Suzie: The amount of not. Let me just say it. The amount of ugly people that are in London.

[16:10] Mel: Everyone's gonna love you for this.

[16:12] Suzie: I know. I'm gonna get ******* killed. Here's the thing, though. You go to Toronto, there are beautiful people everywhere. And so I always have to be on my ******* a game of looking great, because that one day you don't look great. You see everyone, you know?

[16:25] Mel: Yeah.

[16:25] Suzie: And so here, I just. There's something about people's faces that are much, like, less symmetrical or something. It's the weirdest.

[16:37] Mel: You see? I don't know. I mean, I wouldn't say I'm gonna get ******* killed. Brits are innately attractive people. I mean, that's not what you think in your mind. Although London is difficult because London is a really multicultural place. Yeah, but you look at people all the time. I don't look at them. You're right. I don't look at people. I'm not really interested. Sorry, but I don't look at people, so I don't notice. But I mean, I would say, I mean, look, if you went tomorrow to Madrid or Rome, you'd be like, wow, everyone's beautiful.

[17:07] Suzie: Right?

[17:08] Mel: But it's not just that physically, the way they look, it's also just they take a lot of effort in their appearance.

[17:15] Suzie: Yeah, well, I mean, everyone's dressed better here than they are.

[17:18] Mel: Oh, you think so?

[17:19] Suzie: In Canada. Oh, my God. Yeah. Everyone's wearing the top of the notch custom suit. It looks gorgeous. Like, looks great. All the men are just dressed to the nines, which I love men in the suit. Hello. But, yeah, everyone's. And so I was just like, I was expecting a lot when I came here. I was like, I'm gonna find a man in a day. You know, I'm gonna just. You just know. You don't know who you're gonna talk to. But I was like, I don't really want to talk to any of these guys. That's so rude.

[17:48] Mel: Yeah. Poor british man.

[17:50] Suzie: But yet we found little Gen Z.

[17:53] Mel: Yeah, but you knew him already.

[17:54] Suzie: I know. That doesn't really count, does it?

[17:56] Mel: You'd. You'd done the work.

[17:58] Suzie: I'd done the. I'd done the pre work. Yeah.

[18:00] Mel: Pre, pre.

[18:01] Suzie: The pre.

[18:02] Mel: Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I don't think. And I'm saying this, and nobody gets upset. I am british. Not fully.

[18:10] Suzie: And Mel, gorgeous.

[18:11] Mel: That's very sweet. Maybe I'm not fully british. Maybe that's what it is. But I don't think the Brits are. I'm very sorry. The immers, attractive people, and I don't think that's a.

[18:20] Suzie: That's like a, you know, a secret, you know. Have you seen the royal family?

[18:25] Mel: Exactly.

[18:26] Suzie: I'm sorry. I'm so. Exactly.

[18:29] Mel: The rest of us are not inbred. Susie, for the love of God, how do you know?

[18:35] Suzie: A little bit.

[18:36] Mel: Yeah. Not in London.

[18:37] Suzie: No.

[18:38] Mel: You know, but anyway, before we really offend people, but your main thing is just this issue of what younger men versus older men are like.

[18:49] Suzie: Yeah. And I mean, oh, my God. He's so like, I don't think I could find a 27 year old guy in Toronto who would care about my orgasm the way he did. And that's saying something, although I don't have the experience about it. Yeah, it was just like, this is so nice.

[19:07] Mel: Yeah, that's interesting.

[19:08] Suzie: And, I mean, even though he was uncircumcised, which is never my top.

[19:11] Mel: That's a favorite. It's a british thing.

[19:13] Suzie: It's a british thing, and you have to get over it. But he had great *****.

[19:17] Mel: Well, I'm very happy for you.

[19:18] Suzie: Extremely nice *****. I'm just. Guys, if you. Ladies, if you come to London and you're expecting some. Unless they're jewish, some circumcised, no, ****, it's not gonna happen.

[19:28] Mel: Nothing else.

[19:28] Suzie: You gotta get over that. And you do. And maybe that's why they're also so good. They're like, okay, I have to try a little harder. Cause I have this extra leg, this little turtleneck sweater down there.

[19:41] Mel: That's very funny.

[19:42] Suzie: Kind of cute. I could get used to it if.

[19:44] Mel: I had to, which may surprise you, but I've never given it any thought. But, yeah.

[19:52] Suzie: You've never given it any thought at all?

[19:55] Mel: Well, no.

[19:55] Suzie: Circumcised versus uncircumcised?

[19:57] Mel: Well, not in the last 25 years. No, of course not. But I'm not, you know, not really that big on the little turtleneck. I mean, there are questions of hygiene. It's the question of hygiene, I do think, in North America that makes a lot of sense and. But I know there are all sorts of complications with not having that.

[20:18] Suzie: Yeah.

[20:19] Mel: Because obviously, it's like anything. You have different sensations. Right.

[20:22] Suzie: That's right.

[20:23] Mel: I mean, so. But, I mean, I don't know. But yes. If you're coming to London and you're on hinge and you're specifically dating men who grew up here, who were born here, whatever, they're.

[20:36] Suzie: Unfortunately, they don't have, like a.

[20:38] Mel: It's not a thing.

[20:39] Suzie: Yeah.

[20:40] Mel: Unless you are. Yeah. Jewish or whatever, ethnicity requires circumcision. Whereas in North America, it's like, that's what happens to boys.

[20:49] Suzie: That is.

[20:50] Mel: Yeah. I don't know if it still does, actually. I think there was a thing. I don't know. Anyway, don't really need to know that. But, yes, it is a thing.

[20:58] Suzie: Yeah. I just want to warn all of you.

[20:59] Mel: You might have a bit of a.

[20:59] Suzie: Shock, but it's not a bad thing. Completely. As long as they know what they're doing and as long as they're hygienic.

[21:05] Mel: And it's research, you can figure out what you like. Right. I think he definitely did. Well, there you go. Well, there you go.

[21:12] Suzie: There we go.

[21:13] Mel: Well, I think, you know, he's obviously just a mature person. He's obviously got some experience. And I think that's. That's amazing that he actually gives a flying **** about the woman. That's.

[21:25] Suzie: Oh, my God, what a change.

[21:27] Mel: Don't. And that is really the core of the problem.

[21:32] Suzie: I think that's what turned me off from younger guys in the first place. And so I've never gone back.

[21:38] Mel: Yeah. I mean, I think it's why. It is why a lot of women take such a long time.

[21:44] Suzie: Yes.

[21:44] Mel: As a whole, to figure out what they want and what they like and what makes them happy and not frustrated in their intimate life.

[21:52] Suzie: Yeah.

[21:52] Mel: Because they. They're with a man who isn't terribly interested in them. And obviously, women, we've got different buttons to push. Do you like all these words? I mean, I love it. So if you're not with somebody, irrespective of their experience, just somebody who is interested in you.

[22:12] Suzie: Yeah.

[22:13] Mel: And I think the other problem is that a lot of men, younger men, let's say they're having, you know, one night stands or having flings or having one off experiences, they're behaving, in a way, it's just about them. Whereas every experience, whether you're in love with somebody, whether you're having a nice experience of fling, a holiday romance, one night stand, whatever it is, it should be the same thing.

[22:38] Suzie: Yeah.

[22:39] Mel: You know, obviously what you experience is going to be different with the emotional element, but you should care about the person. I mean, for God's sake, if you're naked with somebody, I mean, if you are naked with another human being, I think you should be interested in them. Otherwise, what is the point?

[22:57] Suzie: What is the ******* point?

[22:58] Mel: And you don't have to be in love with them. You don't have to have a relationship with them. But if you both want to have a good experience, which I assume is why you're both naked, then you should be interested in each other.

[23:10] Suzie: Yeah.

[23:11] Mel: And particularly men to women. Because men on the whole, it's gonna happen.

[23:16] Suzie: Yeah.

[23:16] Mel: Because we know how those, you know that engineering works.

[23:20] Suzie: Yes, we do.

[23:20] Mel: Right. Whereas women need more. More.

[23:25] Suzie: See, that's what they have to teach in schools, though, for our 27 year old friends, you know, like, for our younger generation, like, where they just don't have, like, they're watching so much more ****.

[23:36] Mel: Well, I think that's a. That is a big thing. I mean, you know, I'm have. We've had a lot of conversation with people about ****. I think there's obviously a good side to **** because I think people make it very weird and they shouldn't make it weird, but the bad side is the availability of it, that there is so much and that people, for whatever reason, do not understand this is entertainment. This is, like, not reality. It's like you watch a show on tv, it's not reality, it's a show. And that's what **** is. So if you are a young man or a young woman and you're watching this stuff, you think, oh, my God, this is what happens. This is how women work, or this is what they do or whatever you're watching, it's going to create the wrong kind of ideas, isn't it? But on the other hand, the fact that men can watch and women as well, because I think there's a misunderstanding that women don't watch ****, which of course they do, that they can watch **** much more easily without the sort of shame of the past. But obviously the bad thing is. Yeah, people's expectations.

[24:47] Suzie: Exactly. And I think that's how a lot of our younger people are learning. And that's also why I don't go for the younger men, because they're just like doing, copying what they did, what they saw off one ******* video, they thought it was really good or like some ****** article that they read or.

[25:01] Mel: Yeah, well, I think written by a man.

[25:03] Suzie: Like, it's just we've had this before.

[25:05] Mel: In one of our earlier pods and we spoke to a doctor about this, is that it's just their expectations is that then they get to real life and they're like, oh, is this it? Yeah, you know, it's like, oh, well, this is a bit boring compared to what I've just watched, which is God knows what.

[25:20] Suzie: And I asked him when I was, you know, when we were doing cuddling and I was like, I was like, what is this? Like, why are you like, who taught you to be good and bad? Like, there was usually a woman involved.

[25:35] Mel: Yeah.

[25:35] Suzie: You know, when, like, you have a relationship and then they kind of teach you things that you know and all these things.

[25:41] Mel: And so what did you say?

[25:43] Suzie: And I was like, what is this? And he was like, he was like, I don't know what you're talking about. It's just me. Maybe it's just our chemistry. That's my accent of it.

[25:50] Mel: Oh, very good.

[25:52] Suzie: And I was like, don't lie to me. There's someone who taught you this, but he didn't mess up.

[25:57] Mel: Well, maybe he had a relationship when he was younger.

[26:00] Suzie: No idea.

[26:01] Mel: With somebody who. I do think that's actually very important. I've talked about this before. If you're lucky enough, when you start on your intimate journey, lovely. And you actually are able to have a relationship with somebody who is interested in you, and I'm not talking about love, but takes the time with you, kind of is in it with you rather than a situation where it's all about you making them happy, I think, totally changes the path you go on and the way you think about sex. I think it really does. Because if you very early on have a good experience with somebody who's, like, kind and nice and fun and whatever, like I said, irrespective of whether you fell in love, it will change your perception of what sex is.

[26:46] Suzie: Yeah.

[26:47] Mel: You know, if you have a relationship early with somebody, and I would say this about myself, who's a little bit controlling and who's really not terribly interested in you at all, it changes the path you start on.

[27:03] Suzie: Right.

[27:03] Mel: And the way you view sex, I think. Definitely. And another thing you're saying, my last comment about, like, sex here is we show stuff on tv, and I'm not talking. I'm not talking about ****.

[27:16] Suzie: Yeah.

[27:17] Mel: I'm not talking about that. But we're not weird. We have a watershed, you know, which means that you don't show sort of violence and whatever until, I think it's like, 09:00. But we don't shy away from things. It's not like sort of sex in the city where they're getting out of bed and they're still wearing a bra and just like, this is shut the ridiculous.

[27:36] Suzie: Yeah.

[27:37] Mel: We have shows where women are shown having an orgasm or they're shown in a relate, like, normal life is shown and it's not weird. And that's the same across Europe. It's a very north american thing to be super puritanical about it and pretend that this isn't really what's going on and just like, let's make this just a bit more normal. Right. And also, you know, everyone's different. Everyone wants different things. I think that's maybe made more normal, but it is definitely on tv. Like, I don't know. You've seen a couple of these shows.

[28:09] Suzie: As I love them.

[28:10] Mel: There's a famous dating show which I can't remember.

[28:12] Suzie: Yeah, I watched.

[28:13] Mel: They're all naked *******.

[28:15] Suzie: So.

[28:15] Mel: Yeah. And they're all naked and they're. They show different bits of the body. Don't.

[28:20] Suzie: It's like naked dating or something.

[28:22] Mel: Yeah.

[28:23] Suzie: What it's called.

[28:23] Mel: So that you actually see them and it's on.

[28:25] Suzie: You can look it up on YouTube.

[28:26] Mel: Yeah. It's not. It's on the regular tv, directional tv. It's like, it's not on at 06:00 at night, but it's on the tv and we have this other show about doctors. Like, if you have, and it's not just sexual stuff, but you have some kind of issue and you go and see the doctor. But like, if your issue is I've got something weird on my ***** or my ****** or my **** or my ****, they show it, right? I remember once watching this with a canadian friend. She's like, holy ****, what is that? I said, what do you mean? What's, what do you mean? What do you mean? That's just a program. I mean, if they're going to talk about a lump on her ****, they've got to show the **** or a lump on her ****** or whatever. And she's like, what? I said, no, that's completely normal.

[29:07] Suzie: That's incredible.

[29:08] Mel: But, but I mean, I know lots of people will comment and say, oh, you're weird, you're british, you're so reserved. You're so.

[29:14] Suzie: You're weird. You're british.

[29:15] Mel: But it's not everyone. It really isn't.

[29:19] Suzie: No, I love it. I mean, I think I'm just going to start. If I do ever live here or I'm here for longer periods of time, I'm going to have to start dating younger.

[29:26] Mel: Wow.

[29:27] Suzie: And then back home, I'm still with the daddies, which I love in Toronto. But yeah, that's how it's gonna go, I think.

[29:34] Mel: Wow. Well, there we go.

[29:36] Suzie: You've changed my mind, darling. You know, you and this gentleman.

[29:40] Mel: Why have I changed? Who's darling? Him or me? You.

[29:42] Suzie: Both of you.

[29:43] Mel: Oh, right. What about, how have I changed your mind?

[29:45] Suzie: Well, you know, you just, you've told me. You've taught me so much about London life.

[29:50] Mel: Oh, there you go.

[29:52] Suzie: And here we are, signing out from London, darlings. If you guys have a story like this, maybe there was one guy a little younger, a little older who changed her mind. We want to hear about it.

[30:04] Mel: Where was he from?

[30:05] Suzie: Where was he from exactly?

[30:07] Mel: Or woman. Like, whichever way you're doing whatever you're.

[30:11] Suzie: Doing, whatever you're doing. Maybe it was on a travel.

[30:14] Mel: Yes.

[30:16] Suzie: Who knows?

[30:16] Mel: Some amazing romance with a incredibly attractive italian, Spanish, whatever.

[30:23] Suzie: Yum. Yeah, you can go to, you can send us an email about it. You can go to Sharemirtoothpod on the socials and dm us and tell us their story. Send us a cute little voicemail. We'd love to hear from you and we shall talk to you soon.

[30:38] Mel: Bye bye.

[30:40] Suzie: Sharingmytruthpod is so excited to partner with, where the a in vibrator is the number eight. This is an extremely exclusive code where no other podcast has it. right now use the code MS 15. That's MS 15 at dot. You can now get 15% off anything in store that's any sex toys for you, your partner, your neighbor, your mom. We don't judge, we don't care. Get it now go to the link in our bio, put in the code, and get jiggy with it.

[31:17] Mel: Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at sharingmytruthpod and leave us a voicemail on our website,, to share your stories and experiences with us. We'll see you next time. Bye.

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