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Episode 36  -  Sex and intimacy and the healing process
Melany Krangle & Suzie Sheckter

Speaker A: Welcome to sharing my truth with Mel and Suzie. The uncensored version where we bear it all.

Speaker B: We do.

Speaker C: 1234.

Speaker B: Hello.

Speaker A: Hello.

Speaker B: Welcome.

Speaker A: That's true, Pod. We have a very special episode for you guys today and you better make sure you rate and review this podcast a little five stars so we can keep this community going. Hard and fast and loose. Or tight, but that's how you like it. I'm with my good friend Mel.

Speaker B: Hey, babes. Hello, darling. Hard, fast and tight and loose. Oh, and loose. I forgot.

Speaker A: However you want.

Speaker B: Yeah, I like it.

Speaker A: Maybe slow.

Speaker B: Slow. Yeah, I like it. I like that. I'm going to remember that one.

Speaker A: I mean, we do learn a little bit from our incredible interview today we did about all the kinds of sex and hards and fasts and looses.

Speaker B: We did. You're going to have to listen to the segment, everyone, about our interview with Dr. Loose. But wow, she is an amazing woman.

Speaker A: She's amazing. So let's just give our audience a little what is it? A little who is it anyways?

Speaker B: What was the board game? Oh, scrap. No, I guess.

Speaker A: Who?

Speaker B: I guess who anyways? Who's?

Speaker A: Who ******* know now? So, yes, she is an incredible psychologist. Extremely accomplished in her field. Right now she's focusing on sex therapy, which is amazing. She works mainly with couples, mainly with all the sexes, all the genders, really just trying to make everyone comfortable with their sexuality and opening up themselves and healing them from the inside out. And she has amazing retreats in Costa Rica, which I definitely want to go. It sounds like a lot of fun.

Speaker B: I 100% want to go.

Speaker A: Kind of get more open in your.

Speaker B: Sexual being, if you will. In your sexual being. Yes. One of the things she does offer is as a sex and intimacy coach, but she's super clever and has a PhD.

Speaker A: She's a little more qualified than we are, just a tad. That's why we had her on the pod.

Speaker B: We did. That's why we had her on the we. Also, she works in San Diego and she works a lot within the Latin American community and she speaks both English and Spanish and has a huge amount of experience. And also she talked a bit about her own journey, which I think is really quite fantabulous journey, which was really interesting and how she helps particularly women. But couples kind of reconnect to themselves if they're not very connected or they lose that connection to their sexual being, which I think a lot of people do somewhere along the line or it takes them very long time to get to it.

Speaker A: Yeah. And obviously we're not going to give it away. No, but wouldn't do you guys listen to the episode? It's coming up right after we shut the **** up about it.

Speaker B: That's right. You mean the interview?

Speaker A: The interview. Exactly what I'm talking about. And yeah, just listen in. She's incredible. Her Instagram will share it right now, and then she also shares it, obviously at the end. If you want to learn more about her, you can also go to her website and you can also go to our website, and you can email us, DM us, leave us a voicemail, and we'll have her on the pod again to answer any of you questions. So, Mel, what's her instagram?

Speaker B: So her instagram is discover. Sorry, I can't speak. Discover Passion with Dr. Luz, and that is L-U-Z but we will or Z if you prefer, we will link that everywhere. And she also one thing to mention is she does work with clients, not just clients in the US. She works with the international clients. And I think if you're somebody who really wants to kind of have some help breaking down some barriers, she's really open. She's really inspiring, refreshing, like a really different perspective and really very sort of grounded. And she sounds so fun.

Speaker A: She makes you feel like you want to have fun with sex again.

Speaker B: Absolutely.

Speaker A: She makes you excited about it. And the fact her stories, you guys are going to hear them are unbelievable. Of how she does it with herself. Like, she's very personal and I mean, wow. Yeah, you guys have to listen. You guys got to listen after this. You have to good.

Speaker B: You have to listen and enjoy. And we'll see you soon.

Speaker A: We'll see you next time. Enjoy the interview.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker B: Amazing.

Speaker A: I want to get started. I know you're extremely busy, obviously. We know we want to obviously respect your time, and we thank you, obviously, for joining us today and we want to get right into it. And I want to start off with just having you tell us a bit about maybe your background, a bit about what you do now. What do you specialize in, what do you want people to know about you and our community?

Speaker C: Okay, I can do that.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: So go right ahead. Dr. Luz, thank you for being here.

Speaker C: Okay, well, thank you, all of you, for giving this amazing platform for all the community members. My name is Dr. Luz Maria VI anueva. I am from San Diego, California, right next to the border to Mexico. So I speak English and Spanish, and I wanted to share that because I work with community in the both languages. So that's a little bit about me in terms of two languages. I have a bachelor's, a master's, and a doctorate in clinical psychology. Wow. Yes. I was a teacher for quite a few years. An area that really has been really exciting for me is how the brain works and how the nervous system works. And that's really impacted a lot of my decisions and where I go with this in terms of how I view the world. And another area that I've always been passionate about is developmental, how we evolve as human beings from moment of birth up until death. So it's a whole evolution. Another thing, I've done research. I write for a magazine. I write for them in Spanish. And it's regarding it's all relationships and sex and intimacy. Let's see what else about. I have a nonprofit and it's healing through writing with my nonprofit. It's called Latinas with purpose. So I do that too. And it's something that gets me latinas with Purpose? Yes. Latinas.

Speaker A: I love that.

Speaker B: That's amazing.

Speaker C: And then what else? I've done some tantra education, which I incorporated a lot of that with what I do. I work with a variety of clients. I worked in the clinical setting. I worked in the psychiatric hospital. I worked in organizational. I've been in my field for about 42 years.

Speaker B: Wow.

Speaker A: And so your field as in sex in plasticity?

Speaker C: No, my field has been just in the area of psychology. And it kind of was in psychology in different areas. Kind of like when we're touching here, they're trying to figure our way out, but in terms of sex and intimacy. And I became a sex and intimacy coach because somehow that conversations always tend to follow me. I don't know if I share that with Melanie. The other it's I was really young and family members would say, like, hey, Lucimadia, can you please help us how to talk to my niece, my daughter? And so and so regarding intimacy, her period? And we just don't know. So it just kind of showed up. And then my first job, I was 18 and a half years old or so working in the community. And it was in a Latino community. And they said, we need someone that brings sex education to the community. Can you do that? So there it is. And then later on, it's like, oh, we heard you were aware know, you're educated in the world of sexuality. Can you come to our church in Mexico and do couples know? And sex education? Because the priest felt like I can talk to them, know, have conversations. But I noticed there's a lot of those conversations that I don't feel comfortable. So it's like this topic continues to follow me.

Speaker B: Right?

Speaker C: Yeah. So that's how I went into the world of sex and intimacy along with I have a son who is deaf blind.

Speaker B: Wow. Right.

Speaker C: In knowing that how important connection and intimacy and touch is to us as human beings.

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker C: That was another area that I decided this is something that needs to be explored. And my son would actually even ask me questions like, Mom, I have my friends and they just know about not getting pregnant, but they don't understand a lot of sexuality. Can you talk to them or can you tell me what to tell them? I just don't know. And these are conversations that are not out there. So it's kind of like life. I'm acquainted with the subject. I get more information, I learn more learn more. And then just those pulling factors kind of led me into as a sex and intimacy coach and sex education and.

Speaker B: As a sex and intimacy coach. We talked a little bit about this before, but do you work mostly with women or couples? Is it 50 50? What's the sort of balance or what do you see?

Speaker C: I work I would say that maybe about 60% couples and 40% individuals.

Speaker B: Right. So men and women coming to you separately, individually. Okay. That's very interesting. And you also said we did read on your website about your son, which mean that's incredible. So that is very obviously very inspiring for the work that you're yeah, yeah.

Speaker C: And it just shows up. Melanie, like, I have a friend and she shared with my my husband's got diabetes, and as a consequence for health and blood pressure problems, there's no ****** that can even really help him. And I just can't stand that he's always just touching me and wants to have and there's nothing there. So it's really helping people redefine sex and intimacy. We are so used to imagining that it's just about penetration. End of story, we're done. So it's that loss and that lack of awareness, what sexuality is really about. So, I mean, those were, like, things that just kept driving me into this conversation.

Speaker A: I love that because I always feel like there is such when you think of sex, you're only thinking of **** in ******. And there's so much more to that. So is that something that you tell your patients? What is probably the biggest issue with your patients and why maybe do they come to you at first?

Speaker C: Low libido women's? Low libido. I would say that that's one of the number ones. And it doesn't mean that all my couples, women have the ones with low libido. Sometimes it's the other way around. So let me make that clear. But we are trapped in this world of got to do, got to do. Here's the list of things that when we experience this space where sexuality was amazing, was it right at the beginning of the relationship of intimacy and right at the beginning of the marriage? And it's because the women said, I just want it to happen organically. He just comes at me and it's nothing organic, and it's not going to happen organic. That's like, my biggest conversation with women. You need to start owning your own sexuality, owning that space for you and your joy, knowing how to turn it on for yourself.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker C: That is one of the big conversations.

Speaker B: I have in terms of organic. Do you mean in terms of, like, spontaneity that a lot of people think it should be? We have this false perception that it happens because I guess from the movies or media or whatever, we think, yeah, this amazing thing happens, and the longer you're married and the older you get, it's like, yeah, it doesn't quite work.

Speaker A: Wait, Mel, you don't get turned on with just the wind and your nipple.

Speaker B: You don't yeah, but I like the way you said that they have to own it. So you're essentially teaching them to well, I suppose, view intimacy in a different way, which is actually sort of leads into my next question was, what do you think the greatest barriers are to intimacy?

Speaker C: I think one of them is lack of education, just to be honest with you. And the definition that we have about it.

Speaker B: Okay.

Speaker C: If we don't have the education, and if we don't have just such a limited definition, where is there to go? There's no place to go. And ***** has become the education, right?

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker C: And so it's really a false way. It's something that gets some people going. They get you, you're done, and in a matter of minutes, it's all completed. And women are trying to learn to follow those patterns with what they see in *****, and men find that's what it should look been that became the.

Speaker A: That'S I think Mel and I have spoken about this, obviously, as, um because I remember my sex education.

Speaker B: It wasn't anything good.

Speaker A: I don't remember learning about the ********. I don't remember learning about anything about women's pleasure. I mean, it was barely about men's pleasure. It was much more about having babies and STIs and things like that, where you're just like, okay, I guess we'll just figure out the rest ourselves, which is kind of okay. It's hard to explain something to a child, but yeah, there is really such a lack of education. And do you see that? I know you work with a lot of in the Latin community, obviously, and obviously in the American community, and we're Canadian. So is there a shift there, or how do you think are they getting better? Is it getting worse?

Speaker C: What do you feel about that? I tell you that in all cultures that I have worked, it's the same concern. It's the same concern. The women with Lola Beater, it doesn't matter with one or the other. So it's pretty much the same.

Speaker B: Right. So they have the same sort of barriers, and whatever your background is the same barriers, because essentially it's a lack of education. And as women, we start out with so little of it, I think, particularly. And then we have to find out as we go along through the sort of journey of our life. And like you're saying about **** is that everyone seems to not understand that it's entertainment like any other kind of media. It's not meant to inform you. It's totally unrealistic. And young people are using it because it is so available. I'm 50, so when I was 18, 1620, whatever, that wasn't a possibility to go to the Internet and type in whatever you're going to type in. And now you can type in anything, and then the stuff comes up, and then it sets up all these totally unrealistic ideas, doesn't it?

Speaker C: It does. It really does. It is even damaging for the men. For the men in two different ways. One of them is their self esteem. By comparing their own ***** size to also with the one I'm right. They don't get that. Those individuals that were selected there are not like every man that is on the street.

Speaker B: Yeah, they're actors.

Speaker C: And then this whole conversation for just forever has been about the bigger your ***** is, the more pleasure is going to be. So it has this low self for them, self esteem. And by looking at it, they even have a hard time coming and sharing themselves with a woman or even dating. And in fact, sex has actually reduced sex out there socially has been reduced. And some of the contribution, when you ask men, they'll tell you it's like, well, I'm kind of embarrassed because, interesting, they're going to see my size and they're not going to be happy. So therefore, they just enjoy sex on their own by looking at ****. So that is another impact **** has made for men.

Speaker B: Right. And then perhaps when they see the reality, the reality is harder, it doesn't match up, et cetera, because they do talk a lot about men, younger men not having as much sex today than 20 years ago. And I suppose you've answered the question that is part of the answer.

Speaker C: Yeah, it is. There is some of that. And then there's the social media and the expectations. It's just terrible expectations. And it is, again, that lack of education.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: And then, I mean, obviously, I'm assuming it's like a lack of foreplay as well.

Speaker C: Yes. Because there's not awareness of how foreplay even is created. We know what movies tell us. There's a kissing and there is some touching, and then somehow there is this erotic zone. That because women have their ******* and they enjoy that. Men think that's like their on and off button.

Speaker B: Right?

Speaker A: That's an amazing way to put areas.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker C: So this lack of awareness is that women enjoy it, but after the arousal has been present for a while, right. So men get confused. It's like, wait a minute, wait a minute. Last time I was with you, you just really seem to be really enjoying it. And I don't get it. I don't get it why you're not turned on and you're angry. Don't touch me. Don't touch me now. So is that lack of education, lack of awareness of the body's, women's physiology, that women's body takes anywhere between 20 to 40 minutes to really create full blown blood flow to the whole organs of the woman's bodies.

Speaker B: It's so interesting that you say that, because we actually touched on that in the last episode, that women, let's say it's Monday and you've had sex with your partner and this worked and you enjoyed this, turned you on or whatever, and men just don't understand it's Wednesday. And for whatever reason, I don't even understand that's not doing it for me today. It's Wednesday and so on. And the confusion there between men and women, I mean, that is part of the problem of those dynamics, is that we don't really understand it either. Like, why today? I like this. It's a bit like today I want to eat pasta, but it's Wednesday, I want to know fish, or whatever it is. It's like we almost don't understand it either. Whereas I suppose a man's body, as Susie always puts it's out there, it's there. We can see what's going on, and they just cannot get their head around. How is it this doesn't work? Like you said, it's funny to think your nipple is your on and off button. And this is so funny. I turned you on literally the other day. How is this not working? So how do you go about talking to couples or individuals about deprogramming that, if you like?

Speaker C: Yeah, well, first of all, it's understanding how sex works. The understand is the first thing. It starts in your brain. It's a decision that you make. Oh, you start creating the whole idea, I want to be intimate. And you start creating erotic pictures in your brain or fantasies and the joy. And this is away from your partner. So this is how you start turning yourself on, right? And then that conversation goes into the limbic system. And once it goes into the limbic system, it actually starts releasing like oxytocin. We have this little reward circle circuit, circuit in our brain. So there it is moving, and there's the thoughts and the fantasy and emotions start to bubble in our bodies without even being with our partners yet. So it's really the women learning how to create that. So you learn to have your body all connected. And then there's the sensations. Our bodies are not always willing to accept any sensations. All the time. Somehow we see that the brain is separate from the body and they work together, and it is the body. So women knowing her own body, that's why movement is so important for a woman. When I work with healing, with women, with orgasms, when they find a certain part of the body that's not acceptable, they touch it and then they hold on to that and they put their hand and then they breathe, and they kind of even rock in that space. It's this sensation of our bodies that connects to that. So it's telling women that it is their bodies and to be respected and learning how to communicate. It's like, can you please start here? Can you please start over here? And it is okay. And telling the men with their partners, just we women tend to be a little bit more volatile.

Speaker B: Yes, volatile. That's a good word. Yes.

Speaker C: And it is men's ability to ground women.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker C: That's what makes it really powerful. When you have a great connection when you have a woman that's kind of out there and the man just kind of like looks at her and says what else is there baby? Just kind of like ground you like center and it just takes owns that masculine energy and just kind of sits there for her and then just puts her hand on her legs having her feel grounded and giving her the space because majority of the time it is a woman's body that becomes the space of the playground. Right, it is we are the playground of sexuality the majority of the time.

Speaker B: Right, good point. Absolutely. Because I wanted you just mentioned about orgasms when you were talking is that part of also why a lot of women are coming to you? That they actually get through a huge chunk of their life and they haven't experienced it? Because we assume I think the popular narrative in the media is that oh yeah, you have your first experience, you have penetrated sex and you have an orgasm. We all know when we've lived a bit that that's not the case and we need a few different things and different people, different women need different things but there are a very high percentage of women, aren't there, that go for a very long period of time who don't experience anything close to it. Of course, what that does to you I cannot even imagine. I mean you really must think well, what's the point kind of thing and then that starts a whole cycle. So do you see that a lot?

Speaker C: Yes, I do. I do see that. I do see that. Women either don't experience orgasms or rarely experience orgasms or experience one orgasms. Women have the potential to have orgasms for 1 hour like one break.

Speaker B: Wow.

Speaker C: Yeah they can take one after the other, after the other kind of going up and down, up and down and we even have research that shows that that is true before they said no and going back and forth but it's that lack of awareness. But women have that potential. And it is actually once the woman understands her body and how to connect with it. So it is part of the responsibility for a woman to own and to be able to connect to that. And it is part of the partners to also be able to figure it out and understand that that is the playground. That a lot of the women's bodies is the playground and being the playground in a positive way, not in a negative way is giving her permission to say I am ready for this, I'm ready for that. So yes, orgasms are a big thing. They're not that I see quite a.

Speaker B: Bit yeah, people assume is happening but.

Speaker A: It'S oh my God, I wish it was happening. If orgasms were happening every day we'd.

Speaker B: Have, I think a lot be a.

Speaker A: Happier world, a little bit more peace in this world? No?

Speaker B: Yeah, I think so, I think so.

Speaker A: I want to know what kind of age groups that come to you most. I know you said you see people of all genders and couples but what type of age group and what do you see the most? Are you seeing women in their 40s? You seeing younger than that.

Speaker C: I see between the ages of 30 to 60 and I would say the majority in their forty s right?

Speaker A: Yeah. And is it because you're seeing finally the women are kind of like I want to take control over my sexuality and this is when the most change is happening or why do you think that is?

Speaker C: I think what it is is they're having some issues in their relationship and they're not happy and there's like, okay, we got to do something about this. Either my partner is complaining or I'm complaining and this is really are affecting and generally why 40s? There's more 40s is because by then women had babies in the world of one's babies and responsibilities trapped and got to do, got to do, got to do so when you see the bedroom the only thing you can think of it's for sleep right?

Speaker B: 100%.

Speaker C: So generally what they end up getting into this habit okay, it's just a Saturday night that's when sex happen. It's the Saturday night or Sunday morning quickie and that's pretty much and some of them like even then after that it turns into every two weeks to once a month, two rarely. So it's pretty sad but it's there.

Speaker B: And it sort of becomes a thing to do. It's on the list. It's like yes, kind of got to keep your husband happy. You're tired thinking about a million things but let's just do that and then we're finished for the week and then he'll be quiet, finish for the week, finish for the month, finish for the month then he'll be quiet, he'll leave me alone and I can get on with what I need to do. I mean, I think from my point of view I see that a lot and I think a lot of us even if you've had children I have two teenage girls and you go through that time when you've had baby, you're tired and nobody knows what's going to happen to them. You have no understanding of how you're going to feel or the fact that you don't feel that sexy either, which is another thing. How long does it take a couple or a person, do you think to come and see you? Do you think they've been miserable and sort of suffering for a very long time? What is sort of the trigger that says actually okay, enough, this is miserable, we've got to go and talk to somebody outside of our relationship generally, is.

Speaker C: That one of them? And then what ends up happening is let's say there is this couple and they've had really great results. So they've worked with me. They had really great results. And we women talk.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker C: Oh, my God. You got to go see Dr. Lou's. My intimacy is, like, amazing. If things are happening and he knows how to listen to me and all of these things. So then the words gets around, and that's generally it's like, okay, maybe I do need to consider because I don't share, but yeah, it's not happening for me too.

Speaker B: Okay, that's interesting. That makes a lot of sense.

Speaker A: Is the advice you give to these women in their 40s, is it like kind of this, like, what is the biggest piece of advice you're giving them that you find the most helpful for them? Is there one big piece of advice?

Speaker C: I do. I create a variety of types of intimacy, sexuality. It's when you get stuck on one, is when the problem so create what it looks like to have a quickie. You got to have sometimes some quickies. What do quickies look like for that particular couple? That's fun and it's exciting. And then you're willing to participate in.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker C: And then there's nights of romance. So they define what it is. So they start redefining their sexuality, and then you have like, what is a 1 hour, hour and a half? And then what does an adventurous sex look like?

Speaker B: Right?

Speaker C: So it's understanding that it is this full gamut of discovery that is important thing. And then also they got to schedule it sometimes, especially until they can figure out how to work their bodies to where I teach them how to text each other during the day. So they just start getting in the mood. So by the time and if they've got little ones, he already knows, okay, I got to help out a little bit so that we can get the babies to sleep and they can calm down. And then for her, she may be a little get a warm bath or a cool bath or get some oils or whatever it is. So the advice is that sex needs to be redefined and you need to create a variety.

Speaker B: Okay. I think that's actually incredible advice because I think going back to what we're talking about earlier, a lot of people this idea that penetration is sex, but actually mutual masturbation, quickies. So many things make up sex. And we live in this fast paced, crazy world where we don't have time to do anything. That it has to be all of those things. And all of those things can be fun. But I don't think bizarrely people know enough about that.

Speaker A: I don't have children, but I have been in a very long term relationship, and even we've had work gets in the way, life gets in the way, families. It is exhausting. And to keep that spark up is like we hate saying a relationship is work, but it does take effort, a huge amount of effort to keep the. Love alive to keep the spark, the sexiness, the excitedness, and gosh, it's tough. Is there something you say to couples? Is it yes, you have to slow down, go find your adventure. That's what it is. And have you found something that works for maybe you personally as well?

Speaker C: Well, I am personally very adventurous.

Speaker A: I love it.

Speaker C: I have been a very sensual woman. I just finished writing a book with my friend. We haven't published it. It's called sex and money. Congratulations, Money. And it's about creating conversations. And in the book I talk about, I am one of those women that can have orgasms for 1 hour. Yes, Doctor.

Speaker B: Wow.

Speaker C: So I don't talk the talk. I do the talk.

Speaker B: Do it.

Speaker C: Yes. I am fully on adventurous fun with my partner, playful with my partner. And I own my sensuality, I own my body. I know what gets turned on. And I also communicate when I am too tired. I can communicate that, but for me, I've always been pretty adventurous and I've always had a lot of fun when it comes to intimacy. And it's been a joyful experience for me in my life. So, yeah, I am a stand for women, like, really taking on this as part of their life. And it's these amazing levels of oxytocin that get released in your body after like an hour and a half of orgasms. My body is on a high for about 24 hours.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker C: It is like full blown like that. It's amazing. But I also know how to own it myself. I know how to create that. So, yeah.

Speaker B: So that's interesting, actually, because you making you're reminding me of Susie because she's very open about her sexuality. She really owns it, she kind of knows who she is. She's not afraid of other people caring about what she's saying about her sexuality. And I would say I've come to that, I wouldn't say I was necessarily there in the beginning, coming from a more sort of very British restrictive background. We don't sort of wander around being open about anything, really. But my question would be to you is a lot of people are not fortunate like you and Susie, that you are just innately. You connect to your sexuality, you connect to your sexual being. There's no barrier. For whatever reason, society, everything else hasn't got in the way. And I would say for most of the rest of us, it has totally got in the way and we have to spend a long time chipping away at it.

Speaker C: Actually, for me, it was getting in the way. It wasn't like this. No, it wasn't like I had it and it's always been there. I learned to create that.

Speaker B: Wow, interesting. So you just made the conscious decision that I'm going to connect with that, if you like.

Speaker C: It didn't even happen that way. It was really fun. It was something I enjoyed. I had a great intimacy with my ex husband. We just had good sex, really good organic sex. And then it turned out to be just good sex overall. But it was like one or two orgasms and kind of just fun every once in a while. But when he learned that women can have more orgasms, it was him wanting to count more orgasms for me. So it became a game.

Speaker A: I love that.

Speaker B: A game.

Speaker A: Wow, that sounds like a great game.

Speaker C: Aided a game. It was truly, truly a game for both of, especially for him. It made his manhood like seven man. I want him more than it's like he would keep count.

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker C: It wasn't like there it was for me. So for me to create this, you have to let go of if your tummy looks, how your tummy looks, how your face may be looking, all those things that kind of get in the way.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker C: That was no longer in the conversation. The conversation was, let's get another one. Last time you had amazing. I wonder we can have twelve next time.

Speaker B: Twelve?

Speaker A: Is that your record?

Speaker C: No, I would say it's more than 70 in an hour or yes.

Speaker B: Wow. We need to come.

Speaker A: What we need to be a patient. Is this 70 doctor? Is this stuff you teach? I know you have an amazing Costa Rica course, retreat, whatever you'd call it.

Speaker B: What do you teach in this?

Speaker A: And please tell our audience about this and how we can have 70 orgasms in an hour and a half.

Speaker B: Wow. I'm speechless. Which is not good for a podcast.

Speaker C: No, I know. It's really interesting. Well, let me tell you what happens. And part of it is I teach women on about orgasms. I do teach women orgasms. And the first two days, it's really about generational healing. It's about understanding historically why we are dealing with this shame. Why are we carrying this shame? And then there is the shame that kind of gets stuck neurologically in our body and the anxiety and what starts helping us deal with is once we understand it, why it's there, and then we understand the physiology of how our body works, it gives us an opportunity to let go of the past. Why our grandmother was our grandmother, why our mother was like, our mother is looking at this history, why our fathers? Where are grandfathers? So we do the generational healing, and we do mother daughter healing, and then we do woman woman healing. Sister, sister know it's these stories, this Cinderella, this Snow White, these competition of women, right?

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker C: So we do that. We go into all of these stories that has put us as the Madonna and the *****, one or the other. You're the know, one gets to enjoy it, and then the other one, and it's like, oh, I want to be looked as a good person. Therefore. So we start looking at all of these conversations that we've had, and we use body work. We have a belly dancer, and the reason, again, movement is to connect to our bodies. We do breath work. We do some kundalini. We do art. We do conversations. We do a lot of sisterhood between each other. So once we get through that, then we also do some healing with our feminine and masculine energy. It is so important. It's really not going there to come and bash men. That's not what it's about. It's healing us as women. And I say that because I got two boys.

Speaker B: Right?

Speaker C: Then it's about healing these relationships, how to be more powerful, how to understand who we are as women. And then after that, we do, like, a whole day on the biology and understanding orgasms, how they work, and you get to draw different types of I mean, we have you get to color in different types of vulvas. Like, how do they look? I love it. You get to draw the ********. I have pictures. I got this for you ladies. I don't know if you know how the ******** looks, but if you have people that are watching them, I wanted them to know, like, this is the size of our ********. This is how it looks.

Speaker A: Is that the real size? Is that life size?

Speaker C: This is the real size.

Speaker B: Wow. Yeah. Okay. The wishbone.

Speaker C: Like a wishbone.

Speaker B: That does look very big, right?

Speaker C: It is very big. So you get to do an artwork, and you get to color it, and you get to do all of that, really. And then, of course, there's the times you want to go to Costa Rica. You've got to explore the know, you got to go around and have some fun. And then one of the reason it's called Discover the Goddess is because you identify a goddess with yourself or two goddesses, whatever. And then once you identify with a goddess, and then we get together, like on Zoom a couple of times before we get to the retreat. So we start preparing. We start preparing your goddess. You bring clothes. You're going to dress yourself as that goddess.

Speaker B: Wow.

Speaker C: Anything. Whatever you so we come as women together and dress. We dress, we put all the stuff and just really own that spirit, that sensuality, that sisterhood that existed. Like, come together as women and empower ourselves and identify with ourselves with that goddess. Dress her up, have her dance in the water, and have her dance around the fire, and we have the belly dancer doing a lot of that movement. So we're giving birth to us after the orgasm, we give birth to this goddess, and then what's really important is, when they leave, they own this goddess, and they always create a small project that they're going to bring to their community. So let's say somebody says, well, I am aphrodite. I am the goddess of sensuality and love. Then you want to come back to your community, and it's create whether it would be maybe you're going to make a place very beautiful or maybe you're going to like one of the projects I've done is ask friends that say, hey, can you give me purses? Give me purses that you have that you don't use and fill it up with feminine goodies. I said, we always give the homeless, the women, all of these things, supplies for them. I said, why not? Giving them this feminine sense of who they are. You create some sort of project that you come back to something small. So maybe some of them are goddesses of animals. We have a lot of them that love like Aphrodite, she was one of them. So then you come back and maybe you work in a shelter for animals one day, or maybe you save one or you get to feel whatever it is. You create a little project to own that goddess of who it is that you are. So it's about looking at yourself as a superhero, right.

Speaker B: Okay.

Speaker A: So it's really like a retreat of body, mind and soul.

Speaker C: Yes. It's just always connecting to that loss. And we talk about intuition and how we are so in our heads as we as women, one of our strengths is intuition, and we let that go in the process. Well, we learned that. So we talk about when in moments in life, something told you and you didn't listen to it because you listened it through your head. So we get to talk about that.

Speaker B: Sounds so interesting because I think that connection thing is exactly what's missing. And do you think this idea of you were saying earlier about the virgin or the *****, which we hear a lot about, and men also say their perfect woman is the woman who looks elegant and sort of if you like, virgin like, but behind closed doors is a *****. This whole image is very we're all familiar with that idea, but I think there's also this idea that somehow women who are much more connected and more open about their sexuality are more masculine, which I think I could be wrong, but I feel that that's what people think, but they have a more masculine energy. They're not masculine. That they have this masculine energy and that somehow makes it not acceptable or something like I think other women are very judgmental of it.

Speaker C: Yes, there is judgmental, but masculine energy is more like in your head energy. It's more the businesswoman. It's more the let's get organized 12345. Let's take care of that.

Speaker B: Okay.

Speaker C: It's more of that masculine energy. So feminine energy is just owning your body, owning the sensuality, that energy that you feel within yourself. And that's why we do a lot of exercises, and we've really lost the experience and the understanding and the benefit it gives. I mean, you can look at a woman walk. I don't care if she has a great figure or not, but when she owns her femininity. It's like everyone looks, right?

Speaker B: Yes. And to actually understand that about yourself, to actually connect to that.

Speaker A: Can I ask about this amazing retreat? Are women having orgasms together? Like, are you doing, like, an orgasm?

Speaker C: No, I don't do that. Yes, there are some retreats where that is part of it or, like, weekend things. I don't do no nudes. And the reason I don't do that, I do believe there is a lot of trauma for women. The last thing I want to create is have a woman really want to learn this information and feel, like, obligated and then traumatized by the experience about what it is. It is that information you just take with you.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker C: I always keep clothes on. That's just my prerogative. That's just my belief. Again, I don't think there's anything wrong with the other side. It is also when you have a doctorate degree, we are bounded. If I were to create a retreat like that, I can no longer practice inside of my field, inside of the government or anything like that.

Speaker B: 100%. Okay. And how many retreats do you run a year?

Speaker C: Well, right now it's one a year, and I'm working with my social media expert, and we're trying to see if we can find another two. One in Europe and another one in Mexico. But right now, what we have is a Costa Rica one. If anybody's listening to this, and you really want to connect with your feminine side, heal some of the stuff that have been going on through your life, like Discover Passion with Dr. Loose. Discover passion with Dr. Loose.

Speaker B: Yeah. What is your website? If people want to go and have.

Speaker C: A look and find more information, www dot discoverpassionwithdoctorandloosel u discoverpassion with Dr. Loose.

Speaker B: Okay. We'll mention that again in our social media as well, because people need to have places they can connect to and where they can well, feel welcome. So we will mention that again. Yeah. Amazing.

Speaker A: And in the spirit of sharing my truth, just for our last little question here, you've been incredible, Dr. Lewis. We really appreciate you being here. But we want to ask you, what is the one truth that you would share to your younger self? And this is a question that we ask all of our guests here on this podcast. So I'd love to know on your answer, what would you share? What's one piece of advice you share to your younger self?

Speaker C: Would I share? I would say have more fun before get married.

Speaker A: I love it. I love it.

Speaker B: Sounds like what you'd say.

Speaker C: Yeah. And it's not necessarily about just when we talk about the intimacy. I've always been very adventurous, and I do believe that's contributed a lot to my sensuality. And the more we are active physically and we move or more creative artistic, it's just the way the brain works. We connect to those parts. It gives us more opportunity to move into different parts of our body and feel comfortable with it, too. I was very adventurous, but with my father and my mother. My father was a Jesuit priest, and he left the priesthood, married my mother. So, yes, I come from religious like, very religious. I went to a Catholic elementary, junior high, and high school.

Speaker A: And this is how you came out. Just incredibly free, it seems like, the whole journey.

Speaker B: But even, like, your story of your parents, like, your father left, I guess, the priesthood for your mother. I mean, that's it. That's huge.

Speaker C: He left my mother to be plain or everywhere.

Speaker B: Okay. Not so romantic, that bit. Yeah. Okay. But the other thing, just to tell everyone who's listening is your social media as well. Where can they come and find you on Instagram and wherever else you might be?

Speaker C: Same thing. Discover passion with Dr. LUTH is my instagram. And if you're on my social media with the Instagram, what it is is, like, a few months prior to the retreats, we start posting a lot of goddesses.

Speaker B: Okay, right.

Speaker C: And what it is. So that gives you an opportunity, like, okay, what kind of goddess do I want to be? Like, which one do I resonate more? Like which 02:00 a.m.. I like the goddess of war, because I think I'm more of that. Well, then you take that one, and maybe you feel like and I'm also a little bit, know, aphrodite or something, whatever it is. So we start posting. So it's discover passion with Dr. LUTH and then we'll keep you. I have lots and lots of information there on sexuality. Like, lots of it. There's stuff in Spanish, but there's a little translation. So all you got to do is push translation, and they'll put it in English for you. So if you see that, just press the translation button.

Speaker A: You make me want to learn Spanish.

Speaker B: That's just all. Absolutely. And just one last thing just for our listeners to know. Can people work with you if they're not based in California? Do you work with International?

Speaker C: I do have clients internationally and across the country. And that's one of the things with coaching, it gives you the permission. So, yes, you can reach me either through send me an email, dr L-U-Z-V as in victory, the number one Dr. Loosev or DM me at my Instagram. Or go on my website and set up an appointment right there. Set up a calendar appointment.

Speaker B: Okay. We'll mention that all again, because I really think as after you having said the 70 orgasms yeah, I think everyone.

Speaker A: Needs to know how to do that.

Speaker B: Yeah. You don't need to say anything else. Thank you so much for your time. We find it personally so inspiring and amazing to speak to women like yourselves and doctors who are so open and who are not under this shroud of taboo, who are very forthcoming and it's so refreshing. It really is and inspiring, really, for a lot of women, because most women do have a very long journey to find themselves. So thank you very much and it's absolutely fantastic.

Speaker A: I hope we'll have you on the pod again sometime. We'll have maybe some real questions from our listeners that we'll ask and maybe you can help them out.

Speaker C: That would be amazing as well. I would love to. Yeah. Thank you so much for connecting me to your community and allow me to share some of this education and redefine everyone out there redefine sexuality and intimacy.

Speaker B: Oh, thank you so much.

Speaker A: And if anyone does have a question for amazing Dr. Lou's, you can DM us on our instagram at sharingmytruthpod or go to our website at WW and you can send her a little voicemail. We'll send it off to her and.

Speaker B: We can send us an email.

Speaker A: We'll forward it to her and we'll have her on the pod again to answer all your questions. So thank you so much, guys, for listening. Thank you so much again.

Speaker B: Thank you so much.

Speaker C: It's been fabulous.

Speaker B: Have a wonderful thank you. Bye bye.

Speaker A: We'll talk to you soon.

Speaker B: Speak.

Speaker C: There's so many topics kink I know it doesn't end polyamory and like all of these things clients is such an amazing opportunity to really talk about honestly what is happening in our community.

Speaker B: You definitely have to come back and talk about now. Our minds are going round.

Speaker A: Thank you so much, Dr.

Speaker B: Lose.

Speaker A: We will talk soon.

Speaker C: Speak to you soon. Bye bye.

Speaker A: Sharing My Truth pod is so excited to partner with, where the A in Vibrator is the number eight. This is an extremely exclusive code where no other podcast has it. If you go to right now, use the code Ms 15. That's ms 15 at You can now get 15% off anything in store that's any sex toys for you, your partner, your neighbor, your mom. We don't judge, we don't care.

Speaker B: Get it?

Speaker A: Now go to the link in our bio, put in the code and get jiggy with it.

Speaker B: Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at sharingmytruthpod and leave us a voicemail on our to share your stories and experiences with us. We'll see you next time.

Speaker A: Bye bye.

Speaker C: Three, two, one. Yeah, don't get on.

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