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Episode 8 - Help! I should i start scheduling sex to save my relationship?
Hosted by Mel & Suzie

Melany Krangle & Suzie Sheckter

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Speaker A: Welcome to sharing my truth with Mel and Suzie. The uncensored version where we bear it all.

Speaker B: We do. 1234.

Speaker A: Hey, babe.

Speaker B: Hello, darling. How are you?

Speaker A: I'm so, so good. We're back again. And I'm Suzie. And we're here today at sharing my Truth podcast. And we have an exciting little episode.

Speaker B: We do.

Speaker A: Mel, I want you to take the lead because I think you have an interesting yes. Get your phone out. I think you have an interesting opinion on this, and I think we differ about this as well, and I'd like to speak with everyone about it.

Speaker B: We do differ, yes. So we're talking about whether you should schedule sex or not. So whether you should actually put it in the diary and have a date for it and time for it every week and just put it in the agenda, diary, whatever you call it.

Speaker A: 100%.

Speaker B: So I'm going to start with something, because one of our lovely listeners sent us in their story, in their opinion about it, which I think is very interesting. And this is more in line with my opinion. Right, okay.

Speaker A: Please, darling, let's start.

Speaker B: So she says that she's in the yes camp of whether you should schedule it, schedule sex or not. And she says she's 45, so she lives with her second husband. She has two children from a previous marriage. She works she's ten years younger than her husband, and they have been together for nine years. And when they first met, their intimacy was incredible.

Speaker A: But she's ten years older than him. No, he's ten years old. Okay, what did I just say? No, you said the right thing. I think I just heard the wrong thing right now.

Speaker B: I'm losing it. Menopause yeah. No, totally losing it. So when they first met, their intimacy was incredibly spontaneous. So they were basically doing it like rabbits.

Speaker A: Like most relationships.

Speaker B: She was trying to say the connection. Obviously the passion is there. And when you first meet, obviously you don't have all this other stuff in the way because you're very focused on the meeting, the dating, which I think we forget that piece, that life then takes over after that. And then she said that they would even joke, like, how does anybody schedule sex? The unnatural schedule. Schedule, schedule. Because it's like scheduling love, right? And they thought that was funny as a couple before. And then she says, but life happens. And one day, mid last year, they realized that they had not had sex for a month. And she said that her husband starts work very early because he works in construction, so he's probably getting up extremely early. And she has a more sort of traditional work day. So she goes to work at nine and leaves at five and then does some work in the evening, but he goes to bed early because he's getting up so early. So they're a bit like ships in the night or whatever.

Speaker A: 100%. I had this literally exact thing happened to me because my boyfriend used to be in construction, pretty much.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: And I was a bartender.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: It was completely different. We'd have some days off that are the same, and since I had kind of yeah, it was really, really hard for a while because it was like we literally barely saw each other for so many days. We lived together, and it was like we barely saw each other.

Speaker B: And that's what she said. And then life kind of creeps up on you because you're working, you have a family, you have a household to run, and you're just kind of getting on with the day to day, and you just kind of, unfortunately, forget about it. So they realized that, which I think is very admirable, that they actually realize in time didn't sort of run away, and they were realizing that they weren't having sex. So they realized that they needed to schedule what they called a sex date. Okay. So they started the following week, and they've maintained it ever since. And according to her, they look forward to it. The anticipation itself is very sexy. They make sure that they're free, that unless some major emergencies happen, they're free on that evening. They literally plan. Yeah. And it's restored an intimacy and their connection. Some may think it's not very sexy, she says, but it works. And they've realized that their life has changed and moved on, and other things have entered it, if you like, other than just the dating. So they have to change their approach to sex. Yeah. And I think she's right. Right. Do you want me to tell you why?

Speaker A: Please, go ahead.

Speaker B: So I think what does happen when you're in a very long term relationship is you do get very busy, and life can literally and it sounds like such cliche literally get in the way because you have got to do certain things. You get up early in the morning, you take your kids to school, you're going to work, you're making meals, your shop or whatever, the stuff you're doing, and then you come home and you're very tired. And in this particular case, like like your case, it's an extreme where you have different schedules. Now I'm, like, obsessed with what I'm saying. Schedule. Schedule. Yeah. But the point is, even if you weren't, even if you both had the same sort of nine to five more, like, sort of situation going on, you still then come home, you make dinner, you talk about your day, you're tired. If you have children, there's that. And even if you don't have children, there are the distractions, and it's a lot compared to before. And the point she's making, and I agree with her, is life is changing. When you sort of start meeting or start going out sorry. When you meet somebody, you're very much in a bubble because you're in your own personal bubble. Between you and that person. And it's not really that the passion dies. It's just you have to prioritize intimacy. And I don't even just mean sex, I just mean intimacy in general. Intimacy. You have to prioritize it. And in order to do that, you really kind of have to kind of schedule it a bit. I mean, it can be extreme. Like what they've said sorry I interrupted you, but no, what they said is a sex date. So they have a specific day. Fair enough. That works for them. Yeah. I don't actually think it has to go that far. It could be sort of okay, well, we're going to make sure it's twice a week, three times a week, once a week, whatever it is. And then also an agreement, the kind of sex you're having, so that it doesn't always have to be to get sort of fully into the mood and the passion. And the older you get, the harder that is, because to get aroused, basically. But there are other things you can be doing, like you don't have to have, if you like a full on session with doing everything and you just kind of agree that so that there's still a connection, there's still an intimacy there. And I personally think the more you are in a relationship, the longer time goes on. You kind of have to come to some kind of agreement about that. Because then there's also the issue that inevitably in a couple, one person's libido is higher than the other. And not just that, but also at different points in your life, your libidos will change. So in this case, the interesting thing is actually a lot of people think that women's libidos, as they get older, diminish, but in some cases they really increase for a lot of different reasons. It can be either. And then a man's decreases, right? So then you can be mismatched in that sense, and you have to communicate about it. And so it's not this idea. And I know a lot of people think if you're scheduling it, then it's like sort of making an appointment to go to see the doctor or the dentist and it's all terribly unsexy and very unglamorous.

Speaker A: Well, I would like to know about are you putting this in your Google calendar and it says ******* for Tim and that's the day? Or is it kind of like having a few? I've never scheduled sex. I think we tried once. And then for me personally, I guess, I think the whole thing is just kind of like for me, it does take the kind of excitement out of the sexual act, if you will, of just like having that kind of spontaneous, sexy moment of being like, let's ****. Absolutely. Because that's kind of what excites me, I guess. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker B: I don't think I could get behind.

Speaker A: Of like so Mondays we give bloat jobs, we do oral. Wednesdays are I sit on your face like Fridays are special because it's **** and is it like that or how do you do it? I guess it's always different for everyone.

Speaker B: Well, I mean, that's the point. And you might not want to put it in your calendars, but you have a family calendar. Yeah.

Speaker A: No family calendars or work calendars.

Speaker B: Exactly. Yeah. Oh my God. But it just kind of depends or it can be much more subtle. I think that it's more like you make sure you prioritize it and you make sure that you kind of clear your agenda, clear your mind and you make sure you make time for the other person. I think it can be kind of strict. It's scheduled every Wednesday or whatever.

Speaker A: It's definitely a mental thing.

Speaker B: Absolutely. I mean, there are issues if you have kids, it does become very tricky, especially when children are younger. But I think it can be subtle. It can be just you're deciding to prioritize that person. So the point is that weeks and weeks, days and days don't go by which they can even if you are very passionate about each other and you love each other and you desire each other and everything else. But days and days and days can.

Speaker A: Go by 100% because you're well, been through that relationship. Yeah, of course.

Speaker B: And if you sort of just been on the subway or you've just been at work having time with your boss, sort of thinking about getting into your sexy outfit is about as close to your whatever.

Speaker A: In my case, making it no 100%. The ******** sexiest I've ever been was literally during COVID because I had nothing else to think about. The most I've ever masturbated, like the most anything. Because it was just literally you don't.

Speaker B: Have anything else to do, mind is free.

Speaker A: But when there's so much going on, obviously in your life, you're not just thinking about sex anymore, you're thinking about going to work, coming home from work, getting dinner, what are we going to have? Walking the dog? Blah blah blah blah friends. Yeah, exactly. So it's just obviously and for you obviously kids and it's just that's so much to think about. I'm not against scheduling sex. Scheduling sex. But I don't know if it's like I don't know if it's the answer. You know what I mean? Because like you actually said before, people obviously have different libidos and so when if you have a high libido, even that day.

Speaker B: Right, of course.

Speaker A: And for me, I don't need to come every time during sex to have fun. Like I actually enjoy sex without coming. Not all the time, obviously. Sometimes coming is the goal, but I don't need to all the time.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: I'm actually just happy to enjoy that time and intimacy with my partner. But if we have sex and I have it for him and I'm enjoying myself anyways too that sounds kind of weird, but if I'm doing that kind of because I know he wants to and I'm just like I'll enjoy it obviously too. And then after I'm like well now you're going to buy me a little dinner. You know what I mean? It's kind of like you're trading off these parts of it.

Speaker B: Yeah, I do understand that. I think if you sort of explain it like that it sounds very clinical. Yeah, and a little bit depressing.

Speaker A: It's like you're trading off intimacies, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

Speaker B: I agree. I think what this listener is saying that they have a very difficult 100% routine schedule. It's very difficult for them to sort of match up time wise, probably energy levels as well because he's tired, because he's probably got up at 04:00 in the morning or whatever. He's not going to be into it at 10:00 at night when she's sort of had dinner, done her work and ready to relax. That's the problem. So they have to find a way it works. And a lot of people say sort of date night and my kids used to say to me it's very funny. They're like when they were very young, they're like date night? Is it sexy time? No, but I mean, that's another thing. If you have this nice thing where maybe you're going for a date, you're going for dinner and whatever, which is not always conducive if you've had a three course meal.

Speaker A: So that's another thing that's so true.

Speaker B: Mistakenly people don't understand this all you.

Speaker A: Want a little multigrain toast and little poached egg. That's all you need before sex.

Speaker B: It doesn't really go that well together. But the point is more to prioritize or to understand that this idea it should be we should live in a way that it's all spontaneous and it's all like the movies where somebody's against the bookshelf and all the stuff but that really is bullshit at the end of the day.

Speaker A: Yeah, I know it is.

Speaker B: So the more life ticks over and you're sort of out of the dating thing and you've seen somebody walking all you've seen them go to the loop, you've seen the whole shebang.

Speaker A: Yes, the shebang bang.

Speaker B: Yeah. I think you have to find a way and it has to be the way that works for you, whether that is okay, it's date night or we meet up for lunch on Wednesdays. I mean, there is that other issue too that people have like a mismatch sort of time of day. 100% men and women have that a lot and we've talked about this before. For me it's certainly the case that women need to be relaxed to have sex. I just think it's complete bullshit. Women relax to have sex. I don't know anybody who does. And men, I mean, they could just.

Speaker A: Do it all the time, every time.

Speaker B: And they could be in the middle of this kind of they could be in a burning house. Or they could be they have to find a wear and crockery and **** and washing and everything around them and they just wouldn't care. It relaxes them 100%. So that is another kind of issue. But with all those things in mind, I think you just for a relationship to work long term, you have to think of a way for it not just to be oh, yeah. Up against the bookshelf business. Yeah.

Speaker A: It doesn't always have to be a bookshelf. It can also be a bookshelf.

Speaker B: It could be a washing machine, could be a pinball machine, whatever you want that working. Or another whole thing. But I'm just saying you have to find a way that kind of makes things sexy, that sort of is organized. It doesn't have to be literally I love a bit organized. I know it doesn't have to be literally. Yes, it's on Mondays.

Speaker A: Well, that's the thing because it's like, oh, I don't want to give my boyfriend a ******* on Sunday because Monday.

Speaker B: Is ******* Monday, so that's not what I'm talking about. No, but it's more about making sure you carve out the time.

Speaker A: Schedule and carve out the time I love the way you speak. No. Yeah, I don't disagree with you. I just don't know if I could ever because I'm not super hyper organized like you.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: And that's something I extremely admire about you, obviously, but I don't think I could do it and also stick to it. Because then what if you're looking at this day of being like, oh yeah, Fridays we're going to ****, or whatever it is, and you're looking at this day and you're like, ****, I don't.

Speaker B: Want to have sex on the day.

Speaker A: You know what I mean?

Speaker B: Completely. But that's the point.

Speaker A: And then you make yourself do it.

Speaker B: Have the way to express this, articulate this effectively. If you are in a long term relationship, you do have to find ways that it's basically not always about what you want. I'm not saying that you're doing yeah. But.

Speaker A: You got to get yourself in.

Speaker B: The mood, some kind of compromise there.

Speaker A: There's things that obviously everyone knows each other, everyone knows themselves. And like, what gets you in the mood? How do you get yourself in the mood? You got to get yourself there first.

Speaker B: Sure.

Speaker A: To kind of get into it.

Speaker B: Sure, sure. But I think if you like in this listeners case or many people's cases, if they have particularly if they have children or I mean, you've got a little doggy you have to take out, you have stuff and things that get in the way. And the point I think I'm making is those things can very easily overtake and you can get very lost, particularly if you have kids, very lost, especially when they're young in that whole thing because it's all consuming. You do not have time you literally don't have time to sleep. Sometimes when you have little children, but if you let the time just run away without sort of thinking about it a bit, you can get to some very sticky situations. Yeah, that's no pun intended.

Speaker A: No, that was a great little pun.

Speaker B: But that's the point I'm making, is that you really need to figure out and it depends who you are. It depends on the couple. It depends what works for you. It does depend on your libidos. If you have particularly an issue where somebody has a very high libido and somebody has quite a low ish libido. And that could be particularly if you're in a certain point time in your life where your hormones are kind of not playing ball, as it were, then you need to find a way to not make that a big wedge between you, because it can very easily. The irony about sex is it's the thing that draws you to the person in the first place. The passion, the excitement, the whatever, that the attraction is the thing that can ultimately create the wedge that can pull you apart because you cannot find a way to get it together. I mean, the reality is we're talking about if you've got kids like, let's say you've got up. I get up quite early, 630 in the morning, I do my exercise, I make sure my kids or one kid knows who goes to school. I eat something, I start work. It's a lot of meetings you call people sometimes. It depends on the day. You got to deal with the house.

Speaker A: You got a leak in your roof.

Speaker B: Yeah, you got to deal with all.

Speaker A: The instruction guys are coming.

Speaker B: Exactly. Then you sort of get to finish your day. And in my case, I finish my day. My kid comes home, we all have dinner, both my husband and I go back and do some work. We stop and try and stop by a certain point, but certainly Max has calls till 1011 o'clock at night and then you just kind of want to sit and watch TV or something.

Speaker A: Totally.

Speaker B: I mean, I'd love to read more but I just find my brain is so overpowered by I read quite a lot in the day is I just want to watch some **** on TV. 100% escape. And that is your right mindless thing. And so you think you get to that point and you're in some grubby old T shirt and dodgy old and.

Speaker A: You don't feel very sexy, is that what you're trying to say?

Speaker B: And you're doing your whole beauty routine because then that's following everything and you're meant to be doing your self care thing ******* in your face so hard and you're supposed to have all your creams on to keep young and then you look like **** because you've got all these creams on.

Speaker A: And I hate when a man tries to kiss me when I have creams on. I'm like, yeah, this is expensive. Get away from my face.

Speaker B: Exactly. And then you're like and then are you supposed to be getting some little saucy negligence and going at it? And you're like, It's 11:00 at night.

Speaker A: I've got to get up at 600%.

Speaker B: And that's what happens. And that can just keep going and going and going. And then you get to Saturday and you're ****** tired, and then you socialize, because we're you haven't done any in the week and you want to see other people and you're sick of your kids and your husband, so you go and you socialize. I'm kidding. But sort of and then you do whatever. You go shopping, you do something different to not think about work and everything else. And then it's like a cycle, and it can keep going. And that is the point about the scheduling. Yeah. Is in whatever way it works. I know the concept of thinking about it seems very unsexy, but I think you can actually make it sexy that you desire and love and want each other so much that you want to make sure it works. Because also your relationship changes. You do start in this spontaneous thing and then sex becomes more responsive. So you have to change that too. You have to get in the mood. Like when you first meet somebody, you have to get in the mood. You're in the mood. You're ******* already, whereas you go down later on. It's normal. You actually have to get in the mood. It's not because you don't find the person attractive. It's just it happens to everyone. Yeah. So that's kind of the point of it.

Speaker A: I see what you see. I mean, I obviously understand the need for it, you know, and get behind onset. I just don't think I'm organized. I'm organized enough to get actually into planning it.

Speaker B: So this leads me to my facts. I mean, they're technically not facts.

Speaker A: Well, there are steps to take steps. Steps to take, schedule to help.

Speaker B: Exactly. So I will link this in the next blog post.

Speaker A: Okay, great.

Speaker B: Because if I give you the long link now no, we bore you and ball for everyone else and bore myself. So this is on self, so what they say is number one. And it's quite a long article, so it's just the bullet points, and I think this is absolutely true. So figure out a day and a time that works for you both. So is it that you meet up for a saucy lunch and wait, like.

Speaker A: You do a little day?

Speaker B: Let's say you like a day date of a saucy lunch and then you go afternoon tea, afternoon delight of the tea, but more of the sauce that goes with the tea. The dessert.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: I mean, whatever it is, it feels.

Speaker A: Like so much fun.

Speaker B: So that or do you do I mean, some people are into sort of role play stuff. It's not really my bag. Because as we've talked about. I am me. I find it very hard to be not me.

Speaker A: I know what you mean.

Speaker B: It's not easy of my life. But you could find like or is it? You meet up on a set. I don't know. I mean, it could be any number of things. That is both your thing, right? Or it's a date and it's a date night. Or you go for drinks and you have like I said the other day, and you collapse in after a boogie.

Speaker A: I would love a boogie with you.

Speaker B: Which translation for everybody else is going dancing. Which I know that people don't do that. What do you say now? Going clubbing?

Speaker A: Yeah, I would never yeah, I would not go now, but I'll go to a bar and have a sexy little cocktail.

Speaker B: But you could figure out lots of things that your interest or whatever it is you want to do. I don't know if you want to go up a mountain and you go.

Speaker A: Read erotica to each other.

Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, any number of things. Then two they say, actually put it in your calendar. I do have some issues with that. That is a little step too far for me personally. Not for everyone else.

Speaker A: You use code names. That's kind of sexy.

Speaker B: Exactly. You could put in your diary, going to have my nails done.

Speaker A: Like meeting with Mr. Jones.

Speaker B: Exactly. Meeting with Mr Jones.

Speaker A: Mr. Coffrey.

Speaker B: I mean, he should be some going to buy obajine.

Speaker A: The **** is an obergene?

Speaker B: So an obergene is what? The brain plant? God, I do forget this.

Speaker A: Sorry. I should have known. I should have known.

Speaker B: Zucchini. What a courgette?

Speaker A: A corchette? That sounds like a little lance array.

Speaker B: A corchtte. We call it corchette. Yeah, instead of zucchini. And now I get so messed up and I say all the things, I say the British things here and then when I go to England, I say the American.

Speaker A: Why are both of those things flaccid? Not flaccid. Why are both of those things erect?

Speaker B: As in an oba gene and a courier? Yeah, they both look like dicks.

Speaker A: Why are they both have different names?

Speaker B: And that actually this has nothing to.

Speaker A: Do with my no, we've completely gone.

Speaker B: Off track and I'll tell you the stories. When I was at university yeah. In my first year. And I was sharing like accommodation with like was I think it was five girls and one of the girls and one night was sitting around drinking and kind of telling stories and this one girl starts talking and we're like being silly, you know, 18, 1920 year old girls. And this one girl starts telling the story about how she uses an obajean and we all kind of went and we were sort of giggling. I guess we were talking about sex stuff. And we're like excuse me. And we all kind of in unison turned around to this one guy. I said, excuse me. What? Like, just the logistics of, like you do know there are sex stories, but also they're just I was living in Paris, right? I think everyone's face kind of went trying to work out how you got.

Speaker A: Because presumably it has to be the.

Speaker B: Non bit with the green bit on.

Speaker A: Top because that's a smaller bit.

Speaker B: But also it's all rough. You can't stick that out yourself.

Speaker A: So we got to cut it off.

Speaker B: It's got to be the other end. And then we were all confused as to and it sort of all went silent. You could tell we were all thinking, how the **** did you get an obergene up? Yep. Hoo hoo.

Speaker A: And then she makes an eggplant parmesan.

Speaker B: It was exactly so that's completely but that was my wow.

Speaker A: That was a great offside story. Thank you for that, Mal. I love that.

Speaker B: But anyway, so where was I? So I was talking about the calendar number three, be flexible about what kinds of intimacy are involved.

Speaker A: Yes. So you're saying exactly like a blow job on Mondays? Is that what the saying?

Speaker B: Be flexible.

Speaker A: I'll be flexible.

Speaker B: You could say. I mean, the listener would only have the one sex date, but you might need multiple dates in a week.

Speaker A: Yeah, it depends how horny you are.

Speaker B: It depends who your partner is too. One makes depends how busy you are. Depends on that. So that's another way of kind of fitting it all in. Yeah.

Speaker A: That's not a pine. Yeah, that's nice.

Speaker B: Forget the Obaji. That's why when I digress again but as soon as kind of emojis came out and the oba the ***** honestly just started laughing because I couldn't help.

Speaker A: But remember people really do this.

Speaker B: Like, I actually know somebody who shoved an obeging up as well. But yes, anyway, and it was actually.

Speaker A: If you can't find time for your hubby, there's always an eggplant obergene stroke eggplant.

Speaker B: All right. I suppose a cortex strokes zucchini, if.

Speaker A: You'Re also we are not advising this, but there are sex toys out there.

Speaker B: There are so many things wrong with that. I don't even want to go down that rabbit hole.

Speaker A: That is so funny. Oh, and that's another thing. I mean, if you're feeling a little bored in the sex life and you can't get scheduled yes. Bring a sex toy in there.

Speaker B: Absolutely.

Speaker A: Get yourself ready. Get him ready. There's male sex toys that you can get for each other a lot.

Speaker B: Right. Like that's.

Speaker A: And maybe a little fun, like lube, little flavored lube.

Speaker B: And if you've talked about it, you could also surprise, massage oil, all sorts of things. There are so many ideas, but that could be the saucy, sexy, exciting, spontaneous bit.

Speaker A: So let's say sorry.

Speaker B: Yeah, you scheduled it. Well, that's something.

Speaker A: You have a sort of agreement.

Speaker B: Sounds a bit boring, but a kind of I guess it's an agreement that you bring something. Maybe that's the thing. That you do.

Speaker A: But that's the thing. You're like, I order this thing really excited. We're going to use it. Here we are. Friday fooling.

Speaker B: Exactly. After our cocktails. But before you're steak and chips, because that's not yeah, you could even do.

Speaker A: Like, vibrating panties on the date. Get yourself really into it.

Speaker B: You could.

Speaker A: I've done that before.

Speaker B: Yeah. That's in a movie. What's that movie where she was doing that and then he turns it on and up and she's in, like, a meeting.

Speaker A: I've seen that movie, but I don't.

Speaker B: Know what in hegel?

Speaker A: Oh, yeah, it's with, like, Gerard Butler or something.

Speaker B: I love Gerard Butler.

Speaker A: I met him once.

Speaker B: He's British. Really ******* hot. Why did you meet him?

Speaker A: I was working at a bar and he was sitting right there.

Speaker B: It was tip.

Speaker A: And I literally he's the way Scottish.

Speaker B: Men are meant to look it to you, because I am partly Scottish. They don't all look, but anyway, I know Scottish for anybody who's confused, but I am.

Speaker A: Get some vibrating panties. Get some pearl panties, all sorts of things.

Speaker B: He could get those what do they call them? Edible ones. Edible undies.

Speaker A: Very nice. Mel. You know, all the stuff I have been around then.

Speaker B: Where were we? Oh, yes. So number four and this may sound very obvious, but do stick to it. So unless the same, like, ****** emergency and the ceilings fall in, which has happened in my case, several times, or somebody's ill or something awful has happened, you stick to it. Don't find an excuse to get yourself out of it. That's not cool. That really isn't cool. Right? You've got to stick to it and you've got to be into it. And you got to work your thigh.

Speaker A: Work your thing.

Speaker B: Oh, yeah. So that's the other thing, is five lean into the anticipation. I think we kind of like, skipped. We did that first with the edible panties and whatnot. But even do, like, your little bit of sexting or your emojis, whatever, beforehand. Get saucy. Yes. And sexy. Saucy and sexy.

Speaker A: Careful with your sexy picks. I mean, for me, I'm all about the sexy pick.

Speaker B: We know you're all about the sex.

Speaker A: But it's like, obviously this is your partner for quite a while and you feel comfortable sending them sexy picks. Just make sure you're sending them to him and not your mother.

Speaker B: Yes, please do that's.

Speaker A: All of it.

Speaker B: Please be very not your granny, because.

Speaker A: I'm sure she won't want to hear it for your ******.

Speaker B: No, it's a terrible idea.

Speaker A: Right?

Speaker B: But some grannies can be very liberated. Don't do that. But those are the tips.

Speaker A: Yes, I think those are very good tips.

Speaker B: I mean, that's the discussion, really. That I mean, we come at it and I knew, gosh, it's terrible. The puns and the cliches. We come at it.

Speaker A: It's hard not to do it now.

Speaker B: It's like, in your mind, we come at it sorry. Say that again from different angles in terms of life, in terms of generation. So I guess I do see it differently because I do think the older you get, whether you have children or not, the more complicated life becomes, and the more **** gets in the way, and the more stuff happens to you and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and it just gets harder and harder. So even if you're not actually scheduling, you just have to bear in mind that it is kind of an issue if you're going a month or two months or three months. And I know plenty of people where that is the case, where they go long, long periods of time without any kind of interaction. And I'm not just talking penetrative sex. I'm talking anything at all. And take my word for it as an old married lady that it will cause issues at some point down the line. So you have to be aware of it. And I think that often what happens is people get themselves into the sticky situation. I e. They haven't in this case, this couple, they haven't left it too long, and they kind of collectively realize, oh, we're not being intimate. But a lot of people can actually get into a situation where years are going by because you're distracted.

Speaker A: God, that's so horrible.

Speaker B: And the more time goes on, it's a bit like when you don't talk about an issue and you keep letting it go, and then you just like, brushing it under the carpet. The longer you go, the harder it is. Again, another punt to bring it up. It's very hard to start talking about it all of a sudden if you haven't talked about it for three years. And then all of a sudden you're like, hang on, we're not having sex. Well, why didn't you mention that three years ago? And that's kind of the thing, I think.

Speaker A: Absolutely.

Speaker B: I'm not saying any of this is easy, and I've said this many times before. Excuse me. I'm getting tangled up in my headphones is that relationships are you have to I hate the word work at it. But you do have to keep talking, keep working, keep moving it. Keep every day, it's like it's sort of like a little brick building, a ginormous house.

Speaker A: You're doing a little thing like a little plant. You got to water it.

Speaker B: You got to feed it.

Speaker A: You got to give it to sunlight. And sometimes it keeps blooming and blooming on its own.

Speaker B: Sometimes you give it a little too.

Speaker A: Much sunlight, it kind of crumples, and then you bring it back to life, and you repart it, and it's all fine and good. I do little piece lily in the breeze.

Speaker B: Yeah. Anyway, those are my thoughts and our listeners thoughts on the subject.

Speaker A: Well, I really enjoy this. I'm really happy that they sent this through because it is a very interesting topic, and I'd love to hear the rest of our audience and what they think about it, and maybe they have tips. I mean, who knows? Maybe this is happening for a lot of couples and people are already scheduling it.

Speaker B: Exactly. Totally. And maybe they're doing something interesting. I do have some meeting, Mr. Jones on a Monday night or whatever. Yeah. And if you do want some sex.

Speaker A: Toys, I mean, we have absolutely. You can look at the link, go.

Speaker B: To our website, go to our partners page, and you'll see all the codes and stuff there. So you can definitely get busy with that because that's fun.

Speaker A: Yeah, that's really fun.

Speaker B: And it can be like, you can.

Speaker A: Get a little toy for your boy. You can get a little toy for your boy.

Speaker B: Very good.

Speaker A: And then surprise them on your little date, mate.

Speaker B: Absolutely. Got you something sexy, but just we are repeating, do not bring a Zucchini or Corvette or an obajean or eggplant, whichever one the term you prefer, into the bedroom. It is a terrible idea.

Speaker A: Please.

Speaker B: That goes anything else. Like, I don't even want to think.

Speaker A: There's just so many better sex toys out there that use real body safe, silicone and all the rest of it. So just be safe with what you're putting in and out of your body.

Speaker B: And use your common sense. Absolutely.

Speaker A: That's a real mummy mouth thing to say. Use your common sense.

Speaker B: Common sense.

Speaker A: ******* correct.

Speaker B: I mean, look at the world. If everybody had used some common sense, we wouldn't be in the situation we're in.

Speaker A: If everyone was having sex, we wouldn't be in the situation we're in.

Speaker B: That's true. If more women were in power. Yeah.

Speaker A: Let's be honest.

Speaker B: It wouldn't be an absolute **** show. Yeah. ******* **** show.

Speaker A: ******* **** show. God, I love that word.

Speaker B: Yeah, it's absolutely true. Anyway, that's all I have to say for another day about scheduling. All right, well, I'm sex dates.

Speaker A: Yeah, it's just like, we schedule these sessions. I'm going to schedule a sex date just and think of you, Mal.

Speaker B: Very good. Okay. But that sounds well, good luck. Yeah.

Speaker A: Thank you so much. I'll come back with all the details.

Speaker B: In your work calendar or anything else.

Speaker A: I'll try to put it in the work calendar.

Speaker B: Whoever mr. Jones. Exactly. And maybe don't put the word **** in your diary.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: Anyway, on that note, it's been absolutely fabulous.

Speaker A: It has been absolutely fuliocious. And here's two mother obergin.

Speaker B: Yes. I mean, you'll never look at an obajine in the same way, generally, and you'll start calling it an obajine before, you know.

Speaker A: I'm definitely going to need to eat some eggplant parmesan, though, tonight.

Speaker B: Such an old word, eggplant. It makes no sense to me whatsoever.

Speaker A: Because it looks like an egg. No, it doesn't. Anyways, that's it. That's it for us, guys. We'll see you next week.

Speaker B: We will. We absolutely sending in your stories because.

Speaker A: They are share with us.

Speaker B: Share with us. We'll share with you. We love it.

Speaker A: Oh, we love you guys so much.

Speaker B: See you soon.

Speaker A: See you later. Bye bye. Very cute.

Speaker B: Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at Sharing My Truth Pod and leave us a voicemail on our to share your stories and experiences with us. We'll see you next time.

Speaker A: Bye bye. Sharing My Truthpod is so excited to partner with, where the A in Vibrator is the number eight. This is an extremely exclusive code where no other podcast has it. If you go to right now, use the code Ms 15. That's ms 15. At, you can now get 15% off anything in store that's any sex toys for you, your partner, your neighbor. We don't judge. Get it? Now go to the link in our bio, put in the code and get jiggy with it.

Speaker B: Three, two, one.

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