HELP! My Ex Called Me Vanilla!
- Chrissie
- May 7
- 2 min read
Sex has become a hot topic in today's pop culture landscape. From "Fifty Shades of Grey" to Babygirl. But what about good old-fashioned vanilla sex? Has it become outdated or even insulting to be labeled as someone who enjoys the basics?

The term "vanilla" often gets tossed around as a negative descriptor for less adventurous intimate encounters. But is missionary position once a week really something to be ashamed of? Or have our expectations been warped by entertainment that presents increasingly elaborate scenarios as the standard? While some people find complete satisfaction in simpler intimate connections, others wonder how that's even possible in today's "spice it up" culture.
Today's Obsession: That Boring Old Vanilla Thing
But here's the funny thing - plenty of people are perfectly happy with their less adventurous bedroom activities! Some folks don't need handcuffs, role-play, or extra participants to have a good time. And that's totally fine, even if it makes some people scratch their heads in confusion.
What exactly counts as "plain" sex anyway? Is it just missionary once a week? Does oral still make the cut? The lines get blurry, but generally, we're talking about sex without much experimentation or boundary-pushing.
"Vanilla" essentially means
The term "vanilla" wasn't always an insult thrown around by disappointed exes. It started appearing in conversations as porn and sexual discussions became more mainstream.
With the rise of easily accessible porn, both men and women gained new ideas and possibilities. Despite what some critics say, porn hasn't necessarily corrupted minds - it's more like an idea catalog for things people might already be curious about!
Not everyone wants to try everything they see online, of course. Many people happily watch wild scenarios for entertainment without any desire to participate. It's like enjoying action movies without wanting to jump from exploding buildings yourself!
Defining Vanilla: Not Just Your Ordinary Bedroom Routine
Vanilla sex often gets a bad rap these days. With all the wild stuff shown in movies like "Fifty Shades of Grey" and easy access to adult content online, plain old regular intimacy seems almost boring by comparison. But what exactly counts as vanilla? Is it just missionary position once a week? Does oral still qualify? And why do some people feel perfectly content with a simpler approach to bedroom activities while others crave more excitement?
But that doesn't mean vanilla is boring! Think of it like a really good vanilla ice cream - simple but satisfying in its own right. The key differences:
Key Takeaways
The concept of "vanilla sex" has evolved from a neutral description to sometimes being viewed as an insult in modern dating culture. Media and entertainment have shifted perceptions about what constitutes normal sexual expectations and satisfaction.
Personal preferences in intimacy vary widely, with neither adventurous nor traditional approaches being inherently better or worse.
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