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Episode 69  -  The Truth: I'm Jealous, My Boyfriend's BFF Is A Girl!
Melany Krangle & Suzie Sheckter

Suzie: Welcome to sharing my truth with Mel and Suzie. The uncensored version where we bear it all.

Mel: We do 1234.

Suzie: And welcome back to sharing my true paw. You're here with Mel and Suzie, and she's giving me a funny look every time it's different. And it's just to keep you on your toes, Mel. And here's a cute little friendly reminder to just write and review this podcast. Subscribe, see the little bell in the corner? Just click that. Click that little bell. Bing. And yeah, make us one of your favorite podcasts. We come up with an episode every week. We'd love to chat with you. Share your truth with @sharingmytruthpod on our socials.

Mel: Hi, babes. Hello, darling. That was very good. Thank you.

Suzie: I tried to do it spitty quick today.

Mel: You're very good. Excellent work. Very, very good.

Suzie: How are you?

Mel: Ten out of ten.

Suzie: Thank you.

Mel: Yeah. Teachers. Star.

Suzie: I want a five stars.

Mel: Five star of you all is good. Good. Yes.

Suzie: Rock and roll.

Mel: Yes. In rock and roll. That's my life, Susie. I know rock and friggin roll.

Suzie: Well, you are british. That's where rock and roll started, didn't it?

Mel: That's true. Or is that not true? That's a good point. Well, are the Beatles technically rock? I don't know.

Suzie: Anyway, we're not that. We're not too knowledgeable about stuff. If you guys know, you can yell at us about it.

Mel: But, yeah, we have a kind of.

Suzie: A cute little fun episode today.

Mel: We do.

Suzie: Men, you're gonna want to listen in.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie: And ladies, I know the ladies got an opinion about this one. Okay. But, gentlemen, and I wanna say this obviously, because I have a lot of male friends, most of whom I have slept with.

Mel: Wow.

Suzie: Or at least had a cute little hot makeout sesh.

Mel: You've had a little fandango going on. Yeah.

Suzie: And like, I don't find a problem with that. I'm friends with most of my exes, if not all of them. I don't talk to them every day. But I like to be friends with guys. Cause the guys are fun. I'm a very girls girl. I love to be friends with the girls, but I love guys. Cause they're ******* stupid and hilarious. And they have a lot of different opinions than us. And this is coming to the episode today of. I think a lot of girls have an issue with this for insecurity reasons. But the question is, guys, can a man in a relationship, no matter how long that relationship has been, have a girl best friend or just like, a good girlfriend?

Mel: Do you want me to go?

Suzie: Yeah, please.

Mel: So I think there are several kind of points, right? So the answer is, of course you can have a friend that's a woman. I mean, you know, we're not in the frickin middle ages.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: I mean, best friend, I think, is sort of unusual. Best friend is a sort of special character category, isn't it? I mean, a friend is one thing, a best friend is kind of another thing, isn't it? But it could be, you know, there are. It could be a childhood friend, you know, whatever. I think really it's more about how you interact with each other. So if you're genuinely friends, genuinely friendly, and you get on and you get on very well with each other's partners, or if, let's say, the girl, which is probably where the problem arises, the best friend girl doesn't have a man. If she is just friendly. Yeah, that's fine. I think the problem arises is if she's, like, mega tactile mega around all the time, then it's super weird. Yeah, I mean, it's weird.

Suzie: I agree. I mean, obviously, we all know that there's that one girl whose friends who's obviously, like, a pikmi girl, and she wants to be, like, for the boys.

Mel: Yes. Pikmin girl. I heard this for the first time on a podcast, and I was like.

Suzie: She'S pick me girl. And she's like, she wants to kind of be picked by all the boys.

Mel: Oh, is that what it means? It means.

Suzie: That's kind of what it means. And where it's like, she's definitely not a girl's girl.

Mel: Right?

Suzie: So this is all this, like, millennial Gen Z terminology right now.

Mel: So she likes male attention, but in.

Suzie: The way of, like, I know guys better than everyone. Like, I'm a. I don't like hanging out with girls. Cause, like, I like hanging out with guys more, kind of thing.

Mel: Right? And those women, you have to be.

Suzie: Careful of them because they have, like, some. It's like, there is. There has to be some kind of issue. And I'm sorry, ladies, but there is an issue when you can't hang out with other women.

Mel: 100%. That was. That was gonna be my next point. If you are a woman, if you have friends, male friends, of course we do. Because you might have university or childhood or work or whatever. I think as you get older, if you're married, probably less, and your friendships of men are probably more with your girlfriend's other halves, as it were, husbands, if they're married to men. Yeah, but you know, obviously you know men from your past. It's just how you interact with them. Just 1 second, wasn't it?

Suzie: There's an ant.

Mel: That's pretty funny.

Suzie: There's an ant backyard right now.

Mel: No, they just come through the freaking.

Suzie: We're in Belle's basement. Okay.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: Okay, go ahead.

Mel: Women who can't have other women friends.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: The ants here, the ant. Ginormous. Like in England, ants are this big.

Suzie: Tiny, tiny.

Mel: She's having a glass of wine in Canada. They're like the size of a bus.

Suzie: Ginormous.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Okay, sorry.

Mel: Anyway, women who can't have women friends or don't have women friends.

Suzie: Yes. That's a red flag.

Mel: It's a huge red flag for me. So let's say your husband or boyfriend or whatever you want to call him has a very good friend. That's a woman and she's one of these pick me girls and she doesn't have other girlfriends and she's always around your house and she's always red flag. Problem. Yeah. If she's a normal human being and has other girlfriends and just happens to be friendly with your boyfriend, husband, whatever, because they know each other for whatever reason and happen to get along. But it's not like intimate. You know, you can tell with people, with their friendships, especially of the opposite sex, if it's intimate, that is, they're touching too much or they're sort of in your aura. I mean, like, give me a break. Of course the woman wants to bone in. Well.

Suzie: I mean, okay, so like, obviously, like, there is my best friend's wedding. Like that movie from the eighties with Julia Roberts.

Mel: Have you seen that? Yes, yes. And she wanted to. Yes.

Suzie: Cameron Diaz when she was a hot, young. She's still hot, but like, she's a hot young woman dating whatever the **** was that guy? Yeah, but Julia Roberts was the ******* girl being like, this is my best friend and also I want to **** him. And she tried to steal him away and obviously she didn't get him at.

Mel: The end of the movie.

Suzie: Sorry to ruin the movie. No, Cameron Diaz got the guy because he was like, I'm in love with her. **** you, *****.

Mel: Okay, whatever.

Suzie: Anyways, if you haven't seen it, go watch it. But it is like that thing of.

Mel: Like, that's not the eighties. It wasn't the eighties. Wasn't it?

Suzie: Maybe early nineties.

Mel: No, Camdia is the same age as me.

Suzie: Whatever. Eighties. Whatever.

Mel: Babes adding freaking years to me.

Suzie: But yeah, no, it just goes to show, it's like. It's like the girls who are doing this might be doing this for the wrong reasons. They don't even want the guy, but they want to be picked by that guy. Right. But the boys who have these kind of girlfriends and don't think anything of it, I think we have to give some credit to the girlfriends who were like, hey, I don't mind you having a friend that's a girl or a best friend that's a girl.

Mel: But this girl's a little bit too much. She's a little bit too much.

Suzie: And then the guy's like, oh, no, no, no. She's just my best friend. And it's like, no, no, no. She's like, jumping on you. She's like. She's literally like, you know, you guys are sleeping in the same bed together when you guys are drinking, having a night out. Like, there's something going on here.

Mel: I mean, there may not be in his head because he may be stupid. Yeah, but. But I mean, if. If you're the girlfriend in this situation or the wife. I'm sorry, you gotta put your foot down. Yeah. And you've got to say, hang on. I'm not telling you to not to be friends, but hang. Hello. Or maybe the best way to do it is to get. If you have another friend, probably another male friend who, you know, and get them to say something to him. Yeah.

Suzie: But then here's the other, other part of that where I kind of like to come in because I said at the beginning of this episode, I have a lot of male friends. I love my male friends. Like, my guys, like. And I love. Because I like to talk **** and I like to talk dirty things that, like, I know a lot of it makes some women, other women feel uncomfortable. And so I sometimes do feel. Not with, like, my best girlfriends, but.

Mel: Like, I know you with other people, but I know.

Suzie: Yeah, yeah. With other girls, it can make other girls feel uncomfortable. So I feel like I do feel another part of myself with my guy friends that I don't feel with my girlfriends. And I mean, yeah. Like, who, obviously, there's that, like, biological thing. Like, if you're attracted to someone and you don't really have another partner.

Mel: Yeah. Why not? **** not.

Suzie: Are you gonna sleep together?

Mel: But not if they're with somebody.

Suzie: Not if there's someone out, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so, like, that.

Mel: That's a whole different thing.

Suzie: But, like, I do have guys that are, like, best friends of mine, but they're just not. They're not guys I talk to every day. Like, I would talk to a girl best friend. Yeah, because girls need to talk every day.

Mel: But men don't talk.

Suzie: Well, exactly, though. So, like, when we're together, we hang out, we chat, and we chill. Yeah, and that's that relationship. So, like, girls don't have to be worried about that.

Mel: No, but then there's that protective thing.

Suzie: That insecure thing that a lot of girls have when they're in a relationship with a guy who has other girlfriends.

Mel: Yeah, of course. I mean. I mean, look, at the end of the day, you should be able to tell. Have you seen another ant? There's an ant going up the wall.

Suzie: It's the same one.

Mel: Well, he's very fine.

Suzie: She's actually her girlfriend.

Mel: She seems to be very happy here. So we're just gonna leave her.

Suzie: I'm just gonna take a picture of it. It's really funny. What's her name? Matilda. Matilda. That's our little ant. She's very cute.

Mel: Antonia, the aunt.

Suzie: Oh, my God.

Mel: Okay. Antonio. It's a very british name. Now, I'm thinking about ant.

Suzie: Sorry.

Mel: But I just think that if you're in a relationship with somebody, you should know kind of the vibes.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: I mean, come on. You're a grown up. Hello. And if you have a problem with it, you should say something to your partner. And hello if you are the man. Because this is coming from the male side. Like, you know, wake up. Let's not be quite so tone deaf and, like, clue in. Clue into the situation. If this best friend of yours, like, comes into situations like, you know, parties or events or a dinner, whatever, and came straight up to you and sort of smothers you or jumps on you or is sort of draped on you or, like, ha, ha. Laughs in a weird way. Come on. I mean, really, you can't be that stupid.

Suzie: See, here's what I like to do, okay? So to make my guy friends girlfriends feel not uncomfortable with me is that I try to make out with them. The girl.

Mel: Right? That's all I'm saying.

Suzie: I'm not interested in them, babe. I'm actually interested in you.

Mel: Wow. That's a very Suzy response, this. Thanks, Suzie. That's really helpful.

Suzie: Literally what I do, I'm like, I spend most of my time, even if they're not my type, I spend most of my time trying to seduce the woman so she feels a little better about it.

Mel: Excellent. Thanks very much for that. Yeah.

Suzie: If that's good advice for anyone out there, you're welcome.

Mel: I'm not sure the rest of the population that doesn't live in la la land that's gonna help, but I think. I just think, come on, like, I.

Suzie: Mean, like, come on, like, grow up, everyone. Well, you're allowed to have a *******.

Mel: Of course you can have a friend.

Suzie: You're allowed to have a friend who.

Mel: Is the opposite sex. Exactly. Of course you can. But there is. There are vibes. There's a way somebody interacts with you the way they are with you. If they are normal and not sexual innuendos and all that sort of stuff. I mean, see, that's so hard for.

Suzie: Me because it's like, that's all I live by. That's all I live by. And that's. But those are also, like, who my guy friends are. Like, honestly, if their girlfriends don't want to hang out with me, with them.

Mel: I mean, it's their loss. Would you run up to them and.

Suzie: Jump on them if they were with their girlfriend?

Mel: No.

Suzie: But in any other situation, maybe.

Mel: Yeah. Okay, fair enough. But you wouldn't be, like, there with the gut usually looking at Antonio.

Suzie: There's an ant on the ceiling, Mel. It's the same ant. I don't want to say it's the number one.

Mel: Antonia's still here.

Suzie: Antonio.

Mel: Not Antonio. Antonia. Antonia.

Suzie: It's so different. We don't know if she's a girl or a boy, but obviously she wants to be part of the conversation.

Mel: She's listening.

Suzie: She's so gorgeous. Okay, go ahead.

Mel: Yeah. I mean. Okay, but I mean, I. I would just put my foot down. I mean, it wouldn't happen. So what am I saying?

Suzie: It wouldn't happen. Like, if. If your husband had. He has other friends.

Mel: Yeah, of course. But they don't.

Suzie: I mean, you guys are. You guys are in a generation where you're not doing that stuff, though. No.

Mel: My God. Why do you think I was born during the arc? I mean, Christ alive. I don't know.

Suzie: Like, it's not like, I don't know. I've never seen, like, a 50 year old woman jumping on a 50 year old man who has a. I don't know. Maybe I just don't. I don't see that very often. What do you think?

Mel: Well, I went to school, and universally, I went to a girls club.

Suzie: No, but I'm saying now, at this.

Mel: Time, in your not meeting people now, not really anybody who's a friend, that's a girl. For me, if it's somebody I know who's a man, it's generally something connected to work, or it's obviously somebody from years ago that I know from my childhood. And for the most part, I don't see those people because I live in a different country. So there is that element. And Max. Yeah, he definitely has friends from university and stuff, but he doesn't. It's very nice to see them, but it's not. It's not. Well, it's not. You can't misread the situation. They're just a person who happens to be a girl.

Suzie: Okay, so here's my next part of this whole thing.

Mel: Go on, then.

Suzie: Cause you kind of said colleague. So, obviously, when you're in a workplace, obviously you're working with men and women. Who else?

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: You're dealing with a lot of personalities. You hang out. I mean, I know, like, I'm a workaholic. Like, I hang out at the office more than I'm at home sometimes. Right. Like, these people become your really close friends or your confidants or, like, whoever you deal with. Literal trauma on the day to day, depending on what you're doing. Right. And so you kind of trauma bond in the way.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And so, like, I know that some girls can get jealous for that. Right? Like, if a guy has a girlfriend who. Who's, like, their work wife.

Mel: Well, that's a big term. Like people are using now.

Suzie: Work wife.

Mel: And that's nothing new. No, I mean, maybe it's a bit different in the generations, because obviously, maybe at a certain point, there's more women than men, and then women come back into the workplace if they've had kids. Right. I mean, there are, like, realities of that, right. I mean, when I was working in a. For a corporation, it was. It's the same as now. Like, you know, you went in when you were 25 or straight after university or whatever. I'd say in a lot of positions, there were more women than men. I worked in the sales floor, so I was, like, one of the only women. But. So that has its own. That was. That's another podcast. But. And then later on, like, I'm still in the workplace, and, you know, there are women in. Yeah, I mean, do you. Of course, I guess you bond with. Cause you spend an awful lot of time with people. But it's a friendship. It's not. It's not like.

Suzie: But there are a lot of people. But everyone knows that. Obviously, there has been so many affairs because a block guys with their secretaries. The classic. Right? Like, guys with their colleagues, you know, women with their bot, like anything you want. Like, it's obviously because you're spending so much time together.

Mel: Yeah. And if you're unhappy and if you're.

Suzie: Sexually attracted to them.

Mel: Absolutely. And you're unhappy, and that's where you spend your time. I remember years and years ago, I was. Somebody actually told me the story. They were working somewhere, and this woman, their colleague, their female colleague, they were a woman, two women, and she just had twins. This woman.

Suzie: Oh, my God.

Mel: And she was having. She was boffing one of her colleagues in the sort of stationery cabin they said. Boffing buffing. Yeah, great. There's a good, you know, can't say the word.

Suzie: No, of course not.

Mel: Tickety tock. So we're saying that. All right, but it's a very english word, boffing. And she would buff him in, like. I guess in those days they had a stationary cupboard, you know, like a sort of cupboard where there's a paper and stuff. It wasn't really a cupboard, it was like a room. You know, you sort of see that in films where, like, doctors and nurses go into the hospital where there's this sort of room with all the. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Anyway, they were having an affair and most of their sexual encounters were in the stationary cupboards. Very cliched. And my friend was like, I just don't get it. She's got a husband, she's got twins, a full time job. How has she got time for this? And I said, well, she's.

Suzie: You will make time for what you want.

Mel: She's not happy. And it's escapism. And it makes her feel better because that it's like a high, right, and then she feels better for. And then feels **** immediately afterwards. Or maybe she didn't.

Suzie: Maybe she didn't. But maybe she's like, oh, thank God.

Mel: But of course, yeah, the workplace, you spend an awful lot of time there. An inordinate amount of time as part of the ****** problem of life.

Suzie: See, maybe that's even better if you have a best friend that's a girlfriend that you've maybe known for a while, but you still see them every day. Cause you can't kind of not hang out with them. And then on the other side of that, it's a female colleague who you have to see kind of every day. That makes more sense to me to have an affair with as a female colleague than a female best friend who you're seeing every day. I'm like, this female best friend you're seeing every day. Why do you have to see her every day.

Mel: Well, that's weird.

Suzie: It's obviously a colleague. You're like, okay, obviously that's weird.

Mel: I would say. I would say the thing is, is if that woman, the female best friend, is single and kind of trying to insert herself into your partnered life, obviously he's a mega red flag. And I'm sorry, but as the, if the guy doesn't see it, well, you know, you have to point it out to him. You have to do something. You have to say, obviously, you don't have to cut this person out of your life, but come on, this isn't normal, you know, because it's gonna, it's gonna lead into something bad. Somebody's gonna get upset.

Suzie: Yeah, I mean, people do get upset, but also people get upset over stupid things. And that's why, like, that's what also sucks. It's just like, people, people are allowed other friends. And like, I would, if a guy were to be like, hey, you can't ******* hang out with your guy best friends, I'd be like, **** you. You're so insecure and stupid. Like, we're breaking up. Like, right. Like, if, if you would. If he was, like, jealous of, like, my boss because we had to, like, do stuff. That's what women do all the time.

Mel: And this is also what men do all the time. I know many, many women. I know so many women who are jealous. You know, I think of my, in my age group, like, jealous of their husbands when perhaps they took a step back from work and looked after the kids and their husbands were getting very far in their career and they had to travel a lot, and they would complain about it. Like, my husband traveled all the time. All the time. All the time. And you're like, why the **** would I complain about it? It's the thing that's paying the bill. He's not doing it because this is fun. He's doing it because he has to. I mean, grow up. But I think if you do have a problem, you are the male, and you have a problem with your girlfriend getting on your nerves, going on about this other girl who's your friend, you're gonna have to sit down and have a conversation. And if you are the girlfriend and you think this woman is too. Inserting herself too much, she's too tactile, she's too sexy. She's not like a friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Suzie: She's too. In your friend there is that different where you can.

Mel: She's in his aura, as it were. You know that it's possible as a man, he really is blind to it. He doesn't see it because he's known her for a very long time.

Suzie: And also, maybe he just actually loves you and he doesn't care about her.

Mel: Well, 100%. 100%, you know, like, I mean, hundred percent.

Suzie: You can choose to be insecure. I'm sorry, but you can. You can choose to be insecure about the situation, or you can kind of be like, think about it in the way of like, oh, he actually does love me. Nothing has happened. This girl is just obsessed with him. And it's like, I don't have to feel insecure about this because he. I trust him.

Mel: Yeah. I mean, that's also very mature way of looking at. Absolutely. I mean, and I think that sometimes if you do, you know, love your partner and you are not interested in anybody else, sometimes when people are making advances to you, you don't notice. And, like, this happened the other day with Max, and it was in a very, like, it was a very sort of non, it wasn't a social situation. And I said, oh, that's funny. Because that woman, she was all giggly, you know, and liked him. And he's like, what? And I'm like, yeah. Oh, right. Are you completely clueless?

Suzie: Completely.

Mel: Which was quite funny.

Suzie: But that's like, I, and I think it's a personality type. Like, I've never been a jealous person.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: If a girl was hitting on my boyfriend, I would not care. I would actually, like, enjoy it. I'd be like, thank God he's still attractive to the outside universe and I'm not just in my own bubble.

Mel: Very unusual.

Suzie: But I don't. That shouldn't be, though. Do you know what I mean? If you actually do trust your partner, which you should, why are you worried about a girl, even if he's your friend?

Mel: 100%. I cannot tell you the amount of times I've been asked by women friends and otherwise, people I've met who know, like, my husband travels. He doesn't travel as much anymore, but he's travel, like, literally five days of the seven. And they'd be like, well, how do you know he's not cheating? And the amount of people have asked me this, which I think is amazing that people would ask me that, but it's just like, what kind of a question? I said, it's never crossed my mind. And honestly, crazy, you know?

Suzie: I love it, though.

Mel: Like, yeah, I don't even think about it. I don't expend any energy whatsoever worrying about it. It's that, to me, is ludicrous. But I know to a lot of women, they spend a lot of time worrying about stuff like that. I never have ever, ever worried about that.

Suzie: Well, it is his job to make you feel secure and that you are the only one. And he's not gonna do that, obviously, if he's also being flirtatious with this red.

Mel: Of course. I mean, that's.

Suzie: Then there's like, okay, I don't trust him, which is another problem, which is the bigger problem. And then obviously you don't trust her because, you know. But she's not the one that you have to trust.

Mel: I mean, I think that's a good point. If he is being flirtatious and he's sort of giving it back, if you like, to whatever she energy she's giving him, then you should be worried if he's just, like, deadpan, being, like, just a normal guy. And this is my friend, and he's really kind of a bit oblivious to it. You don't have an issue. He doesn't even realize. I think it's useful, though, to point out to your boyfriend. Okay, husband, whatever. Oh, my God. The answer.

Suzie: Mel, you have an infestation. Do we have any infestation? It's the same infestation, people.

Mel: It's the soil. Oh, very good. Oh, you're welcome.

Suzie: Okay, bye bye.

Mel: Again, Antonia's gone. She's left the studio.

Suzie: Christ. She's been kicked out.

Mel: But I think that's all I have to say now. That Antonia. Wow. That's the end of that.

Suzie: You guys had to watch this episode on YouTube. I'm so sorry. I hope you did see Antonio. She's a gorgeous little ant. But what do you guys think of this? Have you guys been a guy in the situation where the girl was really jealous of your. Of your girl best friend or like, maybe a woman colleague? Or were you the girl and the guy actually did cheat or something?

Mel: Oh, my God.

Suzie: With his girl best friend?

Mel: Yeah, that would suck. We need to know.

Suzie: You guys can let us know at sharemytruthpod on our instagram, or you guys can go to, send us an email, leave us a little voicemail. We love to hear you guys voicemails and things like that. So we really appreciate that. And yeah, we can't wait to hear from you. Dirty, dirty, juicy ****.

Mel: Till next time, thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at sharingmytruthpod. And leave us a voicemail on our website. to share your stories and experiences with us. We'll see you next time. Bye.

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