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Episode 71  -  The Truth about Dating apps
Melany Krangle & Suzie Sheckter

Suzie: Welcome to sharing my truth with Mel and Suzie. The uncensored version where we bear it all.

Mel: We do 1234.

Suzie: Hey, welcome back to sharing my truth. I can't even keep a straight face. Yeah. Welcome back, guys. Hey, how are ya? It's share my toothpod with Mel and Suzie, and we're here to tell ya to give us a little five star review on this little five stars. And don't forget to follow us at sharingmytruthpod. Send us a little voicemail about your truth and your dating life and your sexual encounters.

Mel: Your questions.

Suzie: No questions. Oh, your questions.

Mel: So innocent.

Suzie: Your questions. Hey, babes.

Mel: Hello, darling.

Suzie: You always have something to say.

Mel: I know. I did butt in, didn't I? Don't want me to do that.

Suzie: No, I love that. Are you kidding? They are questions.

Mel: Anyway.

Suzie: Oh, my God. Yes.

Mel: What was the question?

Suzie: Okay, no, today we are talking about. Because if you have been listening, you will know that I just went through a breakup.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: And it's a little sad. We're not talking about sad things today. Okay? Okay.

Mel: Talking about the new. The next chapter, the next Shapitra.

Suzie: We're trying to be positively positive.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: And yeah, we're talking about the next chapter. And with that next chapter of a late 20 something lady, not 25 anymore, unfortunately. We're talking.

Mel: You have to go on the dating app. Do you have to? You do.

Suzie: Do you think you really do in your late twenties? Yes. In your early thirties? No.

Mel: Why is that?

Suzie: Early thirties? I mean, obviously I'm on the apps right now, guys. Okay? I haven't been on the apps in eight years. That was the relationship that my boyfriend and I were in. We just ended this. I have not been on an app in so long. And when I was on the apps, Hinge didn't exist. Yeah, when did they start? So it was Tinder. I was on Tinder. I remember Tinder.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: I don't know what it's like. I haven't downloaded Tinder. Yeah, it is, but I'm not on it. Tinder is more for *******. This is how I see the app.

Mel: Okay, go on then.

Suzie: Tinder's for *******, and you guys can tell me if I'm wrong. Tinder's for *******. Even though I know a couple who met on Tinder and they are getting married and, like, good for them. Yeah, but Tinder's for *******. In my mind, hinge is for relationships slash *******, obviously. Well, more dating relationship. Obviously some more dating relationships. Bumble is for female empowerment, relationships where I am kind of like, **** off.

Mel: What does that mean?

Suzie: So Bumble is one of them and they're like a huge company. Like good for her. There's a female, I don't think she runs owner. No, but she like, whatever, she's billionaire.

Mel: She's incredible.

Suzie: But the big thing about Bumble is that you, the girls, make the first move.

Mel: Oh, that's it. They make and they make the decisions.

Suzie: They have to say they have to message first.

Mel: Got it, got it.

Suzie: I don't think the guys can message first and you guys can tell me if that's wrong. I haven't downloaded Bumble. I've just downloaded the hinge. Cause I can only take one at a time right now. Yeah, I'm overwhelmed already.

Mel: I mean, it is overwhelming.

Suzie: It's overwhelming.

Mel: I mean, I just think to myself in my work capacity, yeah. All the communication things I have to use slack, email, text, then there's all the, you know, various social media things people message you on. You're like, stop, go away.

Suzie: I literally hate it.

Mel: So if you've then got on top of that, like dating and all those messages, which must be endless, well, they're.

Suzie: Just annoying because you're like, how am I gonna ******* message all these guys back? And like. So, okay, so I can just say from hinge.

Mel: Yeah, hinge.

Suzie: That's what we're gonna focus on because that's the only thing I'm on right now because I cannot take another one. And it's so ridiculous. Like. And gentlemen, your profiles, they need to get stepped up. Okay?

Mel: Right? Yes.

Suzie: Can I just rant about this for 1 second?

Mel: Yes, please do.

Suzie: Okay, boys, I'm gonna say this. And ladies, if you disagree with me, you guys can tell us. But this is from me. This is from my preference. Thank you. No mirror pictures. No pictures of you at the gym.

Mel: That's gross.

Suzie: Okay, I just need to you see a picture of your face smiling. No pictures, no selfies of you in the, like, it just, it, it just, it just makes it look like you don't have any life.

Mel: Gives you the ache. It gives me the ick.

Suzie: Thank you, Mel. There's just so many things I'm like, yeah, if we start chatting and you're sending me a selfie, like, that's cute, but it's not like, that's not like the first picture. I want to know you as. This is literally like you're selling and I'm in sales, obviously.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: You are literally selling yourself to a woman who you probably just want to ****. Like, let's be honest, well, yeah, like, let's, like, yeah, sure, you're on there to date, but, like, you want to ****, and that's fine, but let's be honest. And, like, this is how you're selling me on this?

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: I'm gonna give an egg to you, sir.

Mel: A what? An egg.

Suzie: An egg.

Mel: Oh, I see. An egg. Right? Wow. If you guys can.

Suzie: If you guys are watching the video, I'm pointing to my uterus.

Mel: An egg. Wow, that's intense.

Suzie: I'm not going to. No, but if you're gonna sell yourself, like, oh, I see.

Mel: You might give up an egg.

Suzie: Who knows?

Mel: Right? Got it.

Suzie: You know?

Mel: Yeah. This is biological stuff.

Suzie: Okay, so no mirror pictures. So what on your dating profile, no selfies. Like, weird selfie. Like, just, like, I see so many weird, creepy selfies on there. It's weird.

Mel: No eating.

Suzie: No eating. No eating weird things. But I do, like, a little glass of wine. Like you.

Mel: Like, a little.

Suzie: But obviously this is preference. Okay, guys, I just want to forward that again. Okay, but. Okay, so what I want to see on a dating profile, my perfect little dating profile.

Mel: Yeah. Okay.

Suzie: A nice picture of you. Solitary is your first picture, not with you and a bunch of other ******* people. So I'm like, who is he? Right? Cause a lot of these guys, they have pictures with a bunch of friends.

Mel: As their first picture, right?

Suzie: And I'm like, I don't know who you are. You could be the ugly one for all I know. That makes sense.

Mel: Yeah. And why do you. And do you have to be dressed up?

Suzie: No, I don't think so. It's like. It's like you just have to be looking presentable. Like, for me, some girls like gray sweatpants and hoodies and casual stuff. For me, I'm more of, like, make your first picture literally a little bit sexier than your LinkedIn photo.

Mel: Right. That's what I want. I'm not wearing a suit.

Suzie: That would be weird. But just, like, cute, sexy, something you look good in, you feel good, and you're smiling is great.

Mel: And you get some. Sorry, excuse me. You get somebody else to take the photo. You're not holding the phone.

Suzie: No. No selfies.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie: Second picture, doing an activity.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Okay. So either something important to you, something I know a lot of guys love, outdoor stuff. That's not me. But if, you know, if you like to hike, maybe a nice hiking picture, maybe one of you and your friend just out on a patio. That's fun.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Third one with someone else important to you or a dog. Dogs always work on dating apps. We know this. I know this. I can admit that. It's a dirty move, and it works every ******* time.

Mel: What about a cat? Is that.

Suzie: No, it's weird. I hate cats.

Mel: Yeah, that's what I think. If a man has a cat, that's, like, suspicious.

Suzie: Well, also. Cause I have a dog, and I'm like, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna date you. And I'm also allergic to cats. I'm like, that's a hard red flag for me. I'm like, I can't even go to your place now.

Mel: Oh, there we go.

Suzie: And sleep with you because I'm gonna be sneezing the whole time.

Mel: So note that down, everyone.

Suzie: Yeah, no cat pictures. No cats in your home at all. Obviously, for susie, this is. Yeah, no, obviously. I'm talking for every single woman here. And then, yeah, just, like, keep it fun, keep it light. I think it's just people are. Guys get too, like, so I want to be so sick, and I want.

Mel: To have myself in my cool car.

Suzie: And it's like, yeah, I mean, don't.

Mel: Take yourself too seriously. Exactly.

Suzie: Like, you're asking for the wrong woman for that.

Mel: 100%. 100%.

Suzie: I don't know. That's just me. And then, you know, a lot of these.

Mel: Some.

Suzie: Okay, this is what I've also noticed. Being on the app for, like, a week pretty much is literally, I will get, like, I will get guys who will try to match with me. And the funny. It's the funniest thing I've noticed. And it's like, every guy who's. And I'm sorry, guys, but I have to be blunt. Like, all of the guys who are kind of ugly, right, are the ones that will kind of reply to a photo of mine and be like, oh, my God, you're so beautiful.

Mel: I just want to take you.

Suzie: Write me a ******* paragraph about it.

Mel: Right?

Suzie: The only. The ugly guys are writing, and I don't even read them. Guys, if you are writing these paragraphs, it means you have too much time in your hands, and I'm not reading them anyways, so do not write the paragraphs.

Mel: It's intense.

Suzie: It's just too intense.

Mel: Hi. Hey. Whatever people say, it's just.

Suzie: It's just like. So how it works is, like, you match. You match with someone you like, like their photo.

Mel: Okay?

Suzie: So you can either write a message with that, or you can just like it and see what happens.

Mel: So you both have to match each other.

Suzie: You have to match each other.

Mel: Okay. Got it.

Suzie: No, but, like, I just am not going to match someone who puts that much. Is that horrible weird to say? It's like a weird thing. It's like. Because all of the hawk eyes. Who I do. Who I might want to sleep with.

Mel: Right?

Suzie: Don't do that.

Mel: Yeah. I mean, I suppose it's like, yeah, I mean, I guess it's like you go to a bar. I mean, people don't meet in bars. I mean, that's. That's.

Suzie: They do, in a way.

Mel: My question, why do you have to meet on an apple?

Suzie: Because people don't like going outside anymore. Because people are always on their phone. They don't talk to each other anymore. And that's just the reality of it.

Mel: Okay.

Suzie: Like, you know. No. And people are less likely to be forward with things now because they're worried about being creepy. Being creepy. Like, people are worried. And understandably, because, you know, obviously there is problems like that. But not saying I actually. I don't mind when guys come up to me in a non creepy way and just be like, hey, you think you're really pretty? I'm like, oh, my God, maybe I'm not interested, but I'm gonna tell you that I appreciate that. Like, hey, really appreciate you telling me or asking out, but I'm not interested. And then guys take that and it's a grain of salt and go, you know, go about your day.

Mel: Yeah. But you can also approach women and not be weird.

Suzie: 100%.

Mel: But, yeah, I guess it is very difficult today. I do understand that. That is so.

Suzie: I think the apps are easier, and the apps, honestly, like, the fact that I can kind of, like, weed out the weird ones.

Mel: Yeah, you don't have to do the work. Kind of good. Leaves your Saturday nights free for weeding out the weird guy. Yeah, you've already done it.

Suzie: But there's a lot of bad things about the apps. Like, a lot of people just don't. You'll reply, reply, reply, and then you'll fall off.

Mel: Right, right.

Suzie: And then you're kind of just like, okay, I guess. Next one.

Mel: Well, I think the weird thing is, obviously, the old fashioned way of meeting people is you just meet and you pretty much it's because you find somebody physically attractive, and then you start talking to them and you get on. Right. But you don't find out all this information, like, where the person was born, the fact that they love hiking, the fact that they're a semi professional guitar playing, basketballing, whatever. The fact that they've lived in 14 countries and speaks 17 languages. But do you know what? I mean, like all the **** that's listed that, you know, you wouldn't know that until however many dates in.

Suzie: Yeah, it's all there. That's such a good point.

Mel: I mean, you probably slept with the person before you even know about their guitar playing basketball, professional championships. But you know what I mean?

Suzie: I want one of those.

Mel: Right. But, you know, I mean, you know, so much information, you know, too much information don't actually go through this process of like going of trying to find it out. It's a bit easy, isn't it, in a sense. And maybe that does something, but it's like information overload.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: I mean, at the end of the day, you want to basically know. You see the picture. They're attractive. You want to know they're not a weirdo. You want to know they might vaguely want to do the things that you want to do. You don't give a **** whether they're interested in things, that you're interested in things, because it's totally normal. You don't have to like everything. Yeah, but you want to know that you can like, go out socially. Like, for example, you are not going to date a teetotaler or somebody doesn't like going to restaurants. Do you know what a teetotaller is?

Suzie: No, I have.

Mel: Wow. A teetotaler. Somebody doesn't drink.

Suzie: Oh, so you're not, you're not gonna.

Mel: No, it's not, as a british one, you're not gonna, you're not going to date somebody who doesn't like socializing or going out for restaurants, stuff like that. I mean, that would be difficult. It would be difficult for me, and I'm not dating, but you know what I mean? Because we're sociable people and we like to go out and do things like that. So you're not gonna be with somebody like that. So it would be useful to know some of those things, but, and, you know, the fact that they're not like a complete raging lunatic. Yeah, but you don't need to know all this other stuff, do you? No, I mean, you can find that out. Yeah. And maybe it's just, I mean, what else do they say? So they say, like, they're like so much hiking, do they sort of talk about their profession, you know? And that's dangerous, isn't it?

Suzie: Oh my God, it's so bad.

Mel: You get that what they do for a living.

Suzie: Oh, yeah. So you do get what they do for a living, which is great. If for me that's great because I don't want to date a schmuck.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: You know, like, someone who just doesn't really care. Like, I care about my career. I expect my man to care about his career. And that's not for everyone, obviously. Like, who cares? But, like, for me, that's important. And you can, like, pick what you can share on it.

Mel: So what.

Suzie: What is, like, mandatory is your age. You have to share how old you are, and then you have to share. I'm pretty sure you have to share your height.

Mel: Really?

Suzie: It's like a man. Yeah, you just share your, like, where you're located. Like, around weight.

Mel: D. No. Wow, that would be intense.

Suzie: That would be so funny. I feel like that's way too intense because it's, like, 120. Like, what does that even mean? That's terrible, right? So, yeah, I think you have to share your height, your. Where you're located, how old you are, and then I think that's pretty much it. And then, like, maybe.

Mel: No, yeah, I think that's it.

Suzie: And then, like, the rest, if they want to figure it out, they can look at your pictures, but I don't know. Like, it's really difficult, like, to figure out if this guy isn't a psychopath or not. Like, I have no idea.

Mel: Yeah. And then it's, you know, a lot of people you have to go through, and then you've got to see them physically, and you gotta have time. And then you see, that's the thing.

Suzie: So, like, I literally am just like that. I'm exhausted. Like, I am trying to do really well at work right now, distract myself from the breakup, just, like, really hustle. It's, like, not been easy for the past couple weeks. And so I'm like, well, one, I'm obviously just not really ready to date. I'm kind of on the app for just an ego boost and a distraction, which some people hate. Might hate, but that's just the reality of it. And I'm just like, what am I.

Mel: Gonna shake in if I can see these people?

Suzie: Like, I'm so tired at the end of the day. I just wanna go home and be by myself. Cause I've been talking to people all day.

Mel: Yeah, it's a good point. I mean, when do you see these people?

Suzie: When do you see them all? But then it's also, like, how do you see anyone else ever?

Mel: Well, yeah, I mean, it is a problem. And the older you get, the harder it gets, because the less time you have, essentially.

Suzie: And so the people are. The people who will have the time for these dates is that a red flag because you're not doing enough for yourself? I don't know. That's a good point.

Mel: I never thought of it that way.

Suzie: Do you know what I mean?

Mel: Yeah. I mean, I honestly think, you know, not from my personal experience, but from observing friends is. I just think you have to be in the right headspace. Like, you have to be like, okay, I'm ready to go out there and kind of go with it. And whether that is, you know, have a thousand affairs and whatever. I mean, I think you're probably also in the mindset. I'm not actually looking for a relationship. I'm looking for some fun. I'm looking for some distraction. And I think you just. Whatever it is, you just gotta be in that mindset. And you, before that, it's hard because it's a lot of effort. Yeah. I mean, even if you are like, I just want to sleep with these men. Well, you're not going to sleep with everyone you meet. I mean, you just be like, maybe. Well, you might. But I mean, the point is you might. You know, you're going to see them on there. That's they're going to put their best, whatever forward. And then you meet them in real life, and they open their mouth and you're like, okay. I mean, that, to me, is a big thing. You know, you get, like, men who are physically very attractive, and they open their mouth and they have a weird voice, and you're just like. And then you're sort of obsessed. You know, sometimes you meet people and you're just like, wow.

Suzie: Oh, yeah. And then they all the other.

Mel: And you're just like, that's it.

Suzie: No, it's so bad. Like, the other thing about a lot of these guys that I've seen put on there, kind of like, when they talk about what they. What they're looking for or, like, what they like, and they're like, someone. What are they looking for? Like, someone I can take golfing and.

Mel: Go to the game with.

Suzie: And I was like, I'm not your ******* guy friend.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Why are you looking for that in a ******* female physical partner?

Mel: Like, is that a young person's thing?

Suzie: It must be. Like, I've seen it so many times and not that exact prompt, but, like, like, guys who are, like, literally, like, they're, like, looking for something something guy guy guy stuff. Like, kind of thing. And I'm like, I shouldn't have to like sports or anything like that. We don't have to do that stuff together. Like, we can do other fun things. Unless that's all you do with your life. Like, that's what that show is, then, then. And then I can't do anything of mine. Like what I.

Mel: Well, I think if that is the kind of person, then you're not. That's it.

Suzie: No, definitely not.

Mel: But I. Yeah, I don't really understand that either, because I, you know, I have a situation, and I've told you many times, my husband loves sport. I friggin hate it. Mm hmm. I like, the only sport I like watching is tennis.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: It's very gentle.

Suzie: Yes, exactly.

Mel: Football, you know, no, thanks. As in soccer, ice hockey. No thanks. Basket. And I, to be fair to me, have watched most of these games, and I don't need to or want to. And that's it. Yeah. And, and nobody can do, nobody should come for me because I do offer to go to the games. Look, and my husband's like, he's gonna.

Suzie: Have a better time with you, guy friend.

Mel: Miserable.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: You will be miserable. So I offer, and then he says no, and then that's quite a relief. But I, you know, I've offered once, but, you know, no, I'm joking. I would go if he really wanted to go to something very important, a big game, and there was nobody to go with, which is never the case. It never happens because there's always somebody who wants to go and watch Premier League football in the UK. There's always somebody who wants to go and watch the maple Leafs, blah, blah, blah. So there's never a problem. But I don't need to share. Like, I love makeup and vintage clothing and fashion and stuff like that. My husband couldn't care less.

Suzie: And you don't have to like things like that.

Mel: It doesn't mean we have less of a relationship. Like, he's actually pretty good at shopping now, but I've trained him and I just make sure there's a seat. And he's had some food before and afterwards, and he's great, but he actually detests the process. If he never had to go to another shopping establishment or mall or anything for the rest of his existence, he never would. He goes for me, but he's not interested. He doesn't need to be interested in handbags. I don't. I like handbags. Does he need to like.

Suzie: I mean, that's ridiculous.

Mel: And I think it's also very narcissistic.

Suzie: Oh, my God, these guys. And you can tell when they're like, I want a girl to, like, do.

Mel: All this **** with that.

Suzie: I like, it's like, you're being selfish. You're already being selfish.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: And we haven't even had a conversation yet.

Mel: Exactly.

Suzie: That's. And it goes back to the whole, you have to. You're selling yourself.

Mel: This is what this is.

Suzie: This is like a resume, right?

Mel: What are they selling?

Suzie: Well, they're selling themselves. They're selling themselves on a date with me to have sex with me.

Mel: What? The fact they want to play golf with you.

Suzie: Well, this is the thing.

Mel: Why is that selling?

Suzie: What are you selling?

Mel: That's like anti sell?

Suzie: This is. Well, for me, obviously it is. It's like you have to sell yourself in the way that I'm gonna want to hang out with you. So why are you talking about what you want to do? I've always learned that when you're putting your resume together, you're gonna talk about how you're gonna help the business.

Mel: Yeah, of course.

Suzie: How are you gonna help me, sir?

Mel: Yeah. Yeah.

Suzie: I would put that on my ******* resume.

Mel: Very good.

Suzie: If I could. Obviously you very good at oral. Very good ***********, you know? Oh, that's what I would put on my profile.

Mel: I think you might get banned from hinge.

Suzie: I'm just saying. I'm just saying.

Mel: Maybe that should be a category and they could use special words. They should. Like. I like tacos.

Suzie: Oh, taco. Go Tuesday. I'm into taco Tuesday. My God.

Mel: See?

Suzie: Like, I love, you know, hot dog Fridays.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: You know, I like a big hot dog. Oh, love a big hot dog. You know, big corn dog.

Mel: I think that had have to be an alternate. Maybe you should start an app. I'm going to an alternative app where you people can. I think there are some. Or maybe the only alternative ones, you'll have to correct me if I'm wrong, are where it's sort of like kinky stuff. Like, there's no.

Suzie: I've heard of the kinky stuff.

Mel: There's no, like, quote unquote within the mainstream where you can do that. Yeah, but I mean, I guess the point is, again, do you need to know that? Maybe you should meet and find out.

Suzie: Yeah, no, you should. But there's also. And obviously, like, I'm just being dramatic. Like, you have to. But you do have to sell yourself in the way of, like, can't, like, in your profile, being like, love to treat my girl to a nice glass of wine.

Mel: Yeah. Yeah.

Suzie: Who are you? Who are you selling to know your audience.

Mel: Yeah. Who do you want?

Suzie: You want a young twenties girl? You want a thirties girl? Who were you looking for this is very good information. This is just the way it should be. This is selling, this is.

Mel: Who is your target audience?

Suzie: Who is your target audience? Let's market, let's sell it to that person because that's the only way you're going to make me click like or match on your profile.

Mel: No, it's a very good point. Think about. This isn't about you and your ego.

Suzie: No.

Mel: This is about obviously you got to look presentable and you got to be not take yourself too seriously. You got to be nice. Come across as a nice guy and interested in dating.

Suzie: Yes.

Mel: And interested in what she has to say.

Suzie: And I will just give you a little tip, boys. Women will most likely always, if you give her a little bit at the beginning she will give you so much more back because that's just who women are, typically, women. Just if guys just give us a little bit because we don't ever actually get that much, which sounds ridiculous, they'll give so much into the relationship if you want them to.

Mel: You just have to give that little.

Suzie: Bit of time and then you can hook us, you can hook us into whatever, but you have to give that little bit. And to be selfish already on a dating app when we haven't even spoken.

Mel: Yet, it's not good.

Suzie: It's just crazy to be.

Mel: It's not good.

Suzie: It also just tells me you're bad at sales and I hate that. Figure it out.

Mel: That's very true. I mean, I think it's a minefield. I think it's very difficult. I mean, I don't know, I mean, I suppose young twenties, from what I can see, if you're in your very young twenties, a lot of people meet at university, that kind of thing. So they are actually meeting in real life.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: But when that sort of stops, I guess the. And I know also people in their young twenties at university, they're also on the apps but then I guess also when you're going to work and stuff, it's hard, you know, and I guess it's just easier to weed through people.

Suzie: It's so much. It's, it's just honestly like a time passer by.

Mel: Er, yeah, I mean, it just. It does take something of the, the. I don't want to say romance because it's not. It just takes a bit of the, I don't know, something out of it.

Suzie: No, I agree.

Mel: Clinical.

Suzie: I'd way rather meet people in person and I'm still doing that. Like, I'm still trying to put myself out there but it's again, I'm like, obviously, like, not ready to actually go for it, but they're, like, the apps as ****** as they ******* are, and we will all attest to that, they are an incredible place to meet someone who you're actually going to be compatible with if you don't have actual time to weed through a bunch of people in person.

Mel: But don't you think? I mean, I see a lot of stories of people who just have spent a very long time on the apps and they don't meet anyone.

Suzie: Do you think it's a them problem, though?

Mel: Yeah, I mean, I think it is. I think there's a lot of problem. A lot of things going on. I think. I think what you're saying, and I think it goes for women and men, whatever you're projecting in your profile is what you're gonna get back. Absolutely. So you may not even realize you need to be a dating app. There probably is a profession for dating app profile.

Suzie: Oh, my God. Guys, boys, if you need help with your dating profiles, please send them to me. I will. I will. Pimp your profile.

Mel: Yeah, pimp your profile. Yeah. And also they say, like, trademark, like, weird things to women. Like, I mean, I. Like, what? Like, just be normal.

Suzie: People don't know how to be normal. Now. That's like a weird thing.

Mel: They don't have to be normal. No.

Suzie: What is being normal anyways, though?

Mel: Just not being weird and creepy.

Suzie: Yeah, but weird and creepy guys don't know how to be weird. Not weird and creepy. Being weird and creepy is normal for them.

Mel: Ooh. And they're all on hinge.

Suzie: A lot of them are, but I don't match with those guys. They're the ones who write me the paragraphs of love before I've even chatted with them.

Mel: Oh, I see. And what is the. Can you filter the age group as well? Yeah.

Suzie: So, like, I did that now, I didn't at the beginning where I, like, you can filter it and then you can say if it's deal breaker or not. So at first I had it, like, done, and then I didn't have. I didn't put if it was a deal breaker, and then I was getting, like, a bunch of young guys, and those are the fuckboys that I don't want to even go out with or even talk to. So, like, you're just too young for me. And now I have it on where it's, like, 30 to 45.

Mel: Wow.

Suzie: Who I think you know. Well, you know, I think I could definitely date, like, a 42 year old. Right? Now, happily. Right.

Mel: That's young. Yeah. Yeah.

Suzie: So, like, I have it right now from like 30 to 45. And it's like a deal breaker in quotations. Like, that's what it's called. So, like, not that it actually is a deal breaker to me, but, yeah. In just the way.

Mel: Yeah. Interesting. Yeah.

Suzie: So, I mean, it just depends on what you're looking for. I just think, be kind. Be kind. Be interested in what the other person is saying. Ask questions. I don't think enough people are asking questions on these dating apps.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: I think they're kind of just like trying to make funny conversation and they don't actually seem interested.

Mel: Yeah, take an interest. Just be a nice guy. I mean, it can't be that difficult, can it? No, no. All I can say is, thank God I'm not.

Suzie: Oh, my God, Mel. It is a journey and a half to be on one of these things after so long.

Mel: It really is. I've read. I've used sort of read quite a lot of stuff. Like if you're in your fifties or late forties or whatever, women who are going back on the apps and just.

Suzie: Like, I can't even imagine what it's like for an. Not older, I hate saying, like an older woman, but like someone who's, like, who's like, in their forties or like fifties to go on one of these ******* apps. Cause these men are not great. Yeah. Like, just the way, the way you have to talk to these people in a. It's so not realistic.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: You're not having a real conversation.

Mel: That's trade almost.

Suzie: You're putting this Persona of yourself on.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And you can't really, it's. You can't be yourself. So it's kind of like a catch 22 in it. Right.

Mel: Yeah. But then when you first meet somebody, even if you met them in real life in a bar or in a, let's say weddings are good places to meet people. Funerals. Yeah. Any kind of event. Yeah, any kind of event. I think people, of course, you're not totally being yourself for quite a while when you're sort of into it, if you know what I mean.

Suzie: I do.

Mel: You have to really, because you're kind of checking it out. But again, I think it goes to this thing. If you are on hinge or any of these dating apps, just chill. Excuse me? The **** out.

Suzie: The **** out.

Mel: You are not going to find your husband wife forever, whatever, the father or mother of your 85 children in one. Just relax. Right. And I think that's a problem. And I know a few young people who are dating around your age, bit old, and they just women, and they sort of get. And immediately it's like texting, and it's.

Suzie: Like, oh, my God. You just do not.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Do not put all your eggs in one little basket.

Mel: Just meet somebody. Go with the flow. If you've just met them, maybe you're meeting other people, then obviously you kind of whittle down to the one. Whittle down. Yeah, but relax. I mean, be realistic.

Suzie: Be realistic.

Mel: Don't tell them you want, you know, the house and five children and the dog and the cat and the first date, and maybe the man does that, too. Just.

Suzie: Of course they do.

Mel: Like, oh, my God, it's putting a huge amount of pressure on a person on this app, on whatever it is, right. On these meetings. Maybe just go and meet and see if you get along. And that's it. Right?

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And then do what you do. You said, like, if you are going to meet, then you have to have a whole system of how you meet and when you meet.

Suzie: Oh, yeah.

Mel: And, you know, let's say you only meet for drinks or for coffee or whatever it is. I don't know. But you have to have a system because, you know, they could seem very nice on the app, and then you meet them and then.

Suzie: Yeah. Have a plan, ladies. Yeah, have a plan. Have a friend who you want to hang out with afterwards or something. Or you just have a friend who knows where you are. All of these things are important.

Mel: Yeah. To be safe.

Suzie: To be safe.

Mel: I mean, also for the men, you know.

Suzie: Yeah. You never know.

Mel: Can also be completely nuts and, you know, make sure, like, don't dive in. I mean, obviously, I'm sure that happens all the time.

Suzie: Look, if you're just on there to ****, that's great. Also, I love when people put kind of that.

Mel: They don't. They.

Suzie: I hate when people are like, I want a relationship. I'm like, they don't.

Mel: Well, how do you know until you sort of met the person?

Suzie: Well, exactly. Like, if you're. I feel like sometimes it's also just a. Kind of a red flag for me. For me personally, of course. I can only say, speak for me, but it's like, if they're looking, they're like, I'm looking for a serious, committed relationship.

Mel: It's like, whoa.

Suzie: You know what I mean?

Mel: You might be. That's actually where you are in your life and you want it, but I think it's hard to say every single time you're encountering somebody. Yeah. It just makes me not want to meet with you. I know what you're saying.

Suzie: I just, like, this is just like, I don't know if that's what I want, but it might change if I meet you. And you're amazing, 100%. But I'm like, that's just too intense for me right now.

Mel: Yeah. I mean, I think it can be where you are in your life, and you would like that, but you still have to remember that you're just meeting somebody and you don't know because it's a lot to take on, isn't it? Yeah. And it is a lot dependent on the person you've met. It's like, you know, you could meet, you could not be wanting it, and then you meet this person and everything changes, which is generally what happens. Anyway. Good luck with that, Susan.

Suzie: Thank you, darling. I will update you as it comes. Yes. Once I start going on actual dates, we'll talk all about it because, yeah, it sounds like a lot right now, but I am excited to go out and date again. I'm ******* really nervous. If anyone out there has any advice for someone who just got out of a very long term relationship to get back out into dating, I would love to know. You guys can tell Send us a voicemail. Send us an email. Tell us on our pod instagram at.

Mel: Sharemytooth pod to know.

Suzie: I would love to know because I find that I literally like, yeah, I know how to talk to guys.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: But there's this weird thing of, like, before when I, like, hung out with the guys and talked to guys and kind of flirted with guys I always had kind of like, oh, it's fine. I have a boyfriend. It's not like I'm actually gonna do anything, right? And now I'm like, oh, no. Like, I can actually **** that guy if I want to, but, like, kind of freaks me out, right? And I'm like, oh, my God. He actually takes my, my advances seriously. Does that make sense?

Mel: Well, it's a weird.

Suzie: It's a weird concept that I have had, like, I don't know, like, match with my head in a bit. So I don't know. It's very weird. If you guys have any advice, I'd love to know. Dating is scary out there.

Mel: Yeah, it sounds like it.

Suzie: If you guys are rich sugar daddy and you guys want to take me out, let me know. That's cool, too. Anyways, yeah, that's all for me.

Mel: Okay. Well, there we go. That's it.

Suzie: For me. All updates, that's it from me.

Mel: We'll see you next time.

Suzie: We shall. Bye bye bye. Sharing my truth pod is so excited to partner with where the a in vibrator is the number eight. This is an extremely exclusive code where no other podcast has it. If you go to right now, use the code MS 15. That's MS 15. You can now get 15% off anything in store that's any sex toys for you, your partner, your neighbor, your mom. We don't judge, we don't care. Get it now go to the link in our bio, put in the code and get jiggy with it.

Mel: Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at sharingmytruthpod and leave us a voicemail on our website to share your stories and experiences with us. We'll see you next time. Bye.

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