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Episode 66  -  The Role of the mistress
Melany Krangle & Suzie Sheckter

Mel: 1234.

Suzie: Hey, y'all. Hey, babe.

Mel: Hello, darling.

Suzie: So before we just air this cute little episode, we want to give you guys a cute little 411, FYI, before we chat, because we actually recorded this episode before the Princess of Wales. Of Wales, Kate Middleton. If you're unaware, she's not Kate Middleton.

Mel: She'S Princess of Wales.

Suzie: But we actually recorded this before she made her very upsetting announcement, obviously, that she has cancer. She was diagnosed with cancer. So we just want to say that Mel was right once you listen to this episode. But obviously we wish her well. Obviously she has children. And it's just obviously extremely upsetting as to what is happening at the, I was going to say the White House. Not the White House at the Buckingham palace. So, yeah, it's obviously we wish them well, although they are, you know, up top of castle.

Mel: They don't live in Buckingham palace either. But that's all right.

Suzie: All right. Well, that's for another. But we do.

Mel: We do. You know, obviously it is very sad. And, you know, nobody wants to hear that news or go through that. And she's a young woman and she has three children and it's horrendous and, you know, but I knew there was something else going on. Yeah, you did.

Suzie: And if you guys also want to hear Mel's predictions, just, like, listen ahead. Coming right up right now. And welcome back to sharing my truth.

Mel: Pod with Mel and Susie.

Suzie: And we're here today to remind you to give this a little five star review and subscribe. Share. Share your truth and, yeah, comment. Like find sharemytruth.com dot Andre magic pod on the instas.

Mel: The instas.

Suzie: Hey, babes.

Mel: Hello, darling.

Suzie: How are you?

Mel: I'm fabulous.

Suzie: Tell me more. Tell me more.

Mel: You can't help yourself, can you? No, I'm fabulous. Great. I've just been to Paris.

Suzie: Oh, ******* almost.

Mel: Very good. I knew you could help yourself.

Suzie: Can help yourself.

Mel: Did you have a croissant for me?

Suzie: A croissant?

Mel: I know people are going to come for me, but I'm not a big lover of croissant.

Suzie: I hate you.

Mel: I don't like them.

Suzie: They're my one true love. Dipping that ******* buttery, flaky pastry into a fresh little ******* french latte at a bistro bar. God, it's beautiful.

Mel: I like a bit of baguette. I like a parisant.

Suzie: A Parisson.

Mel: Oh, is that right? Oh, Raison. But I don't.

Suzie: Is that raisin?

Mel: It's kinda got raisins and creams and it's still buttery. I just. For whatever reason, I prefer that then. I've never, never loved croissant, but I love all french bread products, unfortunately. And you go there and you just can't help yourself. And, yeah, it was great. Very nice weather. And then my big thing when I go to Paris is I'm completely obsessed with beauty products. Yeah. And I love. In France, it's a whole different level. And the farm, like, the regular, like, drugs, like pharmacies, which are kind of a bit different, like a drugstore, but they're like, sort of independent. Yeah, yeah. And they just have all these things. And even this shop called monoprix, which is sort of like the french version of kind of a. It's not really target, but they sort of sell food and clothes and products. But, like, it's. I could spend an entire day. I'm obsessed just looking at the products, and I bought so much stuff. Oh, my God. I had, like, a whole suitcase on the Eurostar just full of products.

Suzie: Do you bring me back anything?

Mel: No. I'm very selfish when it comes to purchasing my products. It's all about me, me, me, me, me, me.

Suzie: Not understandable.

Mel: Well, don't worry.

Suzie: I'll get you next time. Can we talk about. You were just in London, too, though. Don't forget that.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: Is everyone talking about Kate Middleton?

Mel: Not in the same way they are in North America, where it's just become.

Suzie: Why are we so obsessed with it?

Mel: It's a very good question. I don't know.

Suzie: I think, like, what is the deal? Why are people not as obsessed with it in England?

Mel: Well, I think there could be sort of several things going on. We kind of got, you know, lots of, like, depressing things going on, lots of ****** economy, much like everywhere else in the world, you know, problems of the government, blah, blah, blah, what we call the cost of living crisis. I'm not sure everyone's that worried, but I think actually it's because as Brits, we're quite used to the royal family just selling, telling us this stuff and just going, okay, we don't question it. Why? I don't know.

Suzie: You pay them your taxes, right?

Mel: Well, there's a certain portion that goes to the ones, what they call the senior royals, the ones who actually work, find hilarious.

Suzie: Go **** yourself.

Mel: Yeah, but it's just a weird british thing that the rest of the world doesn't understand. I don't understand myself. I'm not a huge royalist. Is that we don't question it. We just go, okay, you know, I mean, we were told she was having the surgery, and she wouldn't be seen in public until Easter because it's abdominal surgery. That does actually take quite a long time, if that's the truth, to recover. So we're not going to see her. I think what people just find really odd is why have nobody seen her doing anything? But I know it's not quite the same obsession in the UK, whereas in the United States specifically, people are obsessed. Insane. I was so confused because I was.

Suzie: Like, didn't she say that she was going to be out of commission for, like, until sometime in March? And then people are weirded out because they haven't seen her, and it's like.

Mel: But she said, yeah, I mean, I think basically there's the weird thing that's going on. I mean, I have a theory.

Suzie: Oh, okay. Mel's little conspiracy theories. Here we go.

Mel: The monarchist expert here is that my theory is that King Charles is probably more unwell than they're leaning on, and they're creating some kind of diversion. Because the thing is, is everyone thinks, wow, they must have the shittiest pr department in the world.

Suzie: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Mel: Releasing this photo, you know, but they have army, literally armies of people, thousands of people working for all sort of different royal houses and stuff, and they all sort of work against each other and they all play off. Who's gonna sort of be popular this month? Oh, it's a whole sort of like, yeah, it's a fairly sort of nasty game. I mean, I think in terms of what harry said, there's, you know, he's famously said that. I don't personally think he's probably. That's right. But I think it could be a smokescreen thing, but there could be other things going on. The other thing that could be going on, and I won't go on about this too long, because, let's face it, we've all had enough. Is that if she could be more unwell than they're letting on, and she's got three young children, so, you know, that is pretty difficult. I've heard a lot of people say that the abdominal surgery has meant she has to have a colostomy bag, which is pretty upsetting and very embarrassing. And if you know anybody who's had that kind of surgery, which I have, and had to have a colostomy back, it's humiliating. And, you know, she's a very elegant woman. What's she gonna do? Walk around with her? You know? So there could be an element of that. There's also an element of a lot of people saying there are problems in their marriage and who knows? But the whole thing is just, why can't the royal family just come out and say something? They sent out this picture, this photo, which is fake, and then there's this video yesterday or whatever, which is clearly probably fake. It's just like they're making it a thousand times worse. Not that they released that video of them coming out this weekend, which looks a bit dubious. Nobody's quite sure whether it's real or not.

Suzie: But I mean, it doesn't look real to me.

Mel: It doesn't look real.

Suzie: I don't want to keep pushing this little narrative, but it did not look like her. It was from too far away. It's grainy as ****. It's the weirdest ******* video to post that. She's like, well and alive. It's the weirdest ******* thing.

Mel: It's odd. I mean, there's a couple of things, like, why would she be carrying shopping bag? She's the Princess of Wales, everyone.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: She doesn't go shopping.

Suzie: Why is she in a sweatsuit also?

Mel: Well, she doesn't go shopping. And. And it's like, that's weird. And then the. The thing that I thought was the weirdest is the video and nobody around is taking a picture. Now, if Princess Kate has disappeared off the. The face of the planet, every person is talking about this.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Suddenly walk past you while you were having a cup of tea or whatever in this little place. You know, I think you might get your phone out. I mean, I think you would see a sea of phones as they gone past. There's not a single.

Suzie: And where's the security?

Mel: Is that what you. Well, that's the other thing. Where's the security? So looks a bit.

Suzie: Dude, there's another thing where it's like, could prince.

Mel: What the **** is his name? William. Yeah. Prince of Wales. Thank you. William.

Suzie: What's his name? What the ****?

Mel: His name is also your prince. Whatever.

Suzie: I'm so over him. Bald, you know? Come on. He's having an affair. Potentially.

Mel: Well, that rumor's been going on for years. That's nothing new.

Suzie: Okay. But I feel like it's kind of new in North America.

Mel: Yeah, I do.

Suzie: It's not new in London.

Mel: Yeah, yeah. The rumours been going for a very long time that this, and this woman, she's an aristocrat. I think her name's lady something. Hanbury.

Suzie: Lady Hanbury.

Mel: And that's been going on. Rosemary or some name sort of like that. That's been going on for a long time. That rumor, that's nothing new. But I mean, who knows? I mean, it just, to me, it just reiterates it makes them that they're. They don't look very trustworthy. They're just a really old institution. You know, this could have just all stopped by, just saying, look, she really isn't very well. She's fine, but she's not very well. She's not, you know, recovering at quite the same pace, you know, which she needs some privacy because of her children. I think everyone would have just gone, okay, fine. She's at home. She's at home in bed. But it's strange. So that's why I think there's some kind of weird strategy going on, and maybe it's to do with the king. And there's been lots of, like. Or the one thing there have been rumours about in England is they've seen a few things where, like, I can't remember. It was a few days last week. Whenever it was, there was near. I think I could try and think where it was in central London. There were these. What do you call it? Like, they're sort of guards, royal guards. There were two with a black horse and one with a white horse. And they were going at a certain time of day. And if there's a white horse, that signifies something. And you have to know all this ****.

Suzie: Oh, my God.

Mel: And they were like, where the hell are they going? And what's going on? So. And that. But the problem is, that was a TikTok video, and then somebody, like, uploads it, then creates a whole load of conspiracy ****. I've seen, like, fake. I saw today, like, a fake letter. That was the abdication of the king. So there's been so much fake stuff. But what is fascinating to me is the amount of North Americans fascinated by these people.

Suzie: People love the drama, and it's just hilarious. It's crazy.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: But I mean, speaking of mistress.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: Obviously everyone has one.

Mel: Do they, in your world?

Suzie: Yeah, everyone has an mistress or two. If you're that kind of person.

Mel: Keep you busy.

Suzie: Yeah, keep you busy. You know, keep it exciting.

Mel: Absolutely.

Suzie: And, you know, that's what we're kind of gonna be talking about today is mistresses. Who are they? Why have one? And is it good maybe to be a mistress? And why do we kind of like mistresses or hate them?

Mel: Yeah. And is there a new kind of role? Cause there's a lot of shows.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: In the last, I guess, 20 years where there's been a key figure who was a mistress.

Suzie: There's like. Yeah, there's a mistress in every good show.

Mel: Yeah. And then, of course, I suppose the most famous story is Diana.

Suzie: And there you go. Here it is again. And. Okay, so maybe let's just start there.

Mel: Okay, so obviously, Lady Princess Diana. No, just princess. She was a lady.

Suzie: Okay, got it. And now she's the princess.

Mel: And now she was a lady in her own right. And then she got married then.

Suzie: Yeah. So, Diana.

Mel: Diana, Diana.

Suzie: So obviously, the most famous, as we. One of the most famous around the world. Obviously, Prince Charles, when he was Prince, cheated on Diana with Camila. And the whole tampon ******* story that came out.

Mel: I think it's so funny.

Suzie: One of the most famous ******* crazy blow ups, public humiliations to ever happen, I think.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: And obviously everyone ******* hates Camila.

Mel: Well, they don't now, but they did, I think, still.

Suzie: People do.

Mel: No, I think in the UK it has shifted massively. They've done a lot of PR. That's why it's hard to believe the PR machine is not doing something with the whole Kate thing. And it took a lot of work to shift public opinion about her. And it has shifted, I think, quite a lot because there's more sympathy for him and for Charles and that he should have the woman he loves. And I think what's happened in the UK and there's just been a bit more reality as to what actually happened, because the fact of the matter is he was always seeing Camilla. Yeah. He didn't. Yeah.

Suzie: He didn't hide it.

Mel: He was always seeing her. He was like, I want you to.

Suzie: Be like, best girlfriend ever.

Mel: He was seeing her, then she got married, then he got married. They were always seeing each other. There was no point where they weren't and then maybe were different. And it was a very complicated story. And at the end of the day, he, you know, was pretty much pushed into a marriage, and he couldn't really, at that time, have married Camilla. So, you know, what do you. Do? You love somebody. You love somebody. I mean, you know, I know the public was like, hang on, you got this woman and you love this woman, and. But as we all know, it's got nothing to do with that.

Suzie: But then there's also, like, everyone. Okay, so, like, let me just. You know, everyone hates Camilla in my mind. Okay, so. And why do we hate Camilla? Because, yeah, she was a mistress, but, like, you know, she was in love or whatever, and, you know, it's unfair because the prince loved her and he didn't want to really marry Diana. But it was better for pr and all these other ******* things. And, like, there was a lot of, like, horrible forcing into things. And of course, she was a virgin. And, yeah, Camilla was married and a whole bunch of vulcan bullshit. But the fact is, is that everyone kind of hated her at the time. And then it's like, why do we hate some mistresses but then maybe feel bad for others when, you know, like, Monica Lewinsky comes in and obviously she. This is a different story where, like, she's this, like, kind of innocent, like, very young. Very young. Like, what was she, an intern?

Mel: Right, yeah, I mean. I mean, what was she, 21. 21.

Suzie: And, like, obviously. Obviously got taken advantage of by the most powerful man in the world. So, yeah, obviously we're gonna feel a little bit bad for her. She took so long to kind of recover. Now she's the face of reformation right now. It's pretty crazy where you can kind of go, but it's like, why do we love some of these mistresses and then hate the others? And does it also have to do with the man involved?

Mel: Yeah, I mean, I think it does. I mean, like, you think Diana. It's because everyone loved Diana and because she was beautiful and, you know, strangely, you know, I was just in Paris last week, and I was actually in the. Very close to the area where, sadly, she died. And, you know, I think because she was so. And I was actually there on vacation. I was there with one of my daughters, and I was trying to explain what Princess Diana was like. And I said she was like the Beyonce of our generation. She was more famous than Beyonce. Like, everybody knew who she was then. She was a princess, you know, which is like. And she was going to be the future queen. Plus, she was beautiful, which is very unusual for the royal family. We never had beautiful people. We still don't. Well, I suppose, you know, Kate, but she's not. She's married in, you know, and she wore beautiful clothes. She was also, whatever you thought about her, very warm people who met her, very sort of weird for the world, right? And, you know, she famously, you know, she had AIDS charities that she supported, and she famously went into a hospice and actually touched people in a time when no one was doing that. No, they were terrified. You'd literally touch or breathe or anything, and you'd, you know, you'd get HIV. And so she was this larger than life, beautiful figure who was loved and revered. And, you know, when she died, I mean, it was unbelievable in the UK. So I think. And nobody's ever really liked King Charles. No, I mean, now they're just going, okay, whatever. He's King Charles, but, you know, he's. Again, not like his mother. So I think. Cause she was so loved, we automatically made Camilla the villain. But then you think of other, like, stories, and even if they're fictional, like, you think of Sex and the City and Carrie and Mister Big, and I don't know what her wife. His wife was. Did he have one? It doesn't matter. But we always seem to worry about Carrie and the fact that she couldn't get a **** together with Mister Big. Yeah. Just neglecting the fact that she was kind of the other woman. Yeah. And that's the other thing, that famous thing. The other woman. When do you become the other woman? And I guess, in her case, did she meet him before or after big was with the wife? I can't even remember.

Suzie: Oh, before.

Mel: So then. And then he went off. He was the ****, right?

Suzie: Oh, he was the ****. It is always the guy's ****. Don't ever talk really about the guy as much as the woman.

Mel: Yeah. So, you know, that's a part of it. Like, you know, so we felt sympathy for Carrie. We really do. And then she marries Mister Big, and then he's called big. Mister Big. Mister Big. Yeah, mister. And then you think of that other show, the affair. Oh, yeah. With the two british actors. Yeah.

Suzie: Dominic west and whatever the **** her name is.

Mel: Can't think of her name, but she's amazing. Well, I mean, it's incredible. Something. Ruth something is her, anyway, and she's the affair, and then they get married, and then it's a very complicated story, obviously. But, yeah. I mean, why do you feel for some. I don't know. It's an interesting.

Suzie: Has to do with the other woman involved, whoever is married to that man. If she is pretty and nice, then we ******* care. But if we're like, oh, well, like, you know, he deserved better anyways.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: Then it's like, well, I'm happy that he found someone else. It's so ****** up. And that's the kind of narrative that we make in our head.

Mel: Yeah. I think there's an element of that, and I don't. I think we talk a lot about mistresses now. I mean, you know, years ago, it was like, you know, it was forbidden. It wasn't a. And I think it's also a cultural thing. Yeah. Like, I spent a lot of my childhood in Italy and France, and it's much more. Oh, yeah. I don't want to say common cause that's not really fair. It's, like, just much more accepted. I mean, even french presidents having, you know, mistresses. And it's just not such a kind of taboo thing. I think it's more accepted and understood. You know, if you're a man, you're a human being.

Suzie: What is it like that? Like. Cause I've heard that, too, obviously. Like, mostly in France, of, like, not as much as in Italy, but, like, in France, literally, like, yeah, you just have your other. You just have your other woman or your other man. Doesn't matter if you're the man or the woman. Like, in a marriage, everyone has a mistress or, like, someone else on the side.

Mel: I think that's sort of vastly caricatured. You know, like, it's like everywhere. Some people do it, some people don't, maybe. I think the difference is people are way less judgmental. Like, you know, for example, in the United States, if you're gonna be president and you'd had mis think about the whole hoo ha with Trump.

Suzie: Oh, my God.

Mel: And years ago, like, you know, and then obviously, Monica Linsky, we talked about that. It was a huge hubert. I mean, at the end of the day, you know, he had sexual relations. Well, apparently he didn't with somebody else. So what? You know, I mean, if it was consensual and whatever, I really don't care. You just run the country. But I think that is a very kind of anglophone. Like, the Brits, the Canadians, the. The american sort of puritanical viewpoint that we are so judgmental about that. And in other countries, like France, I just think they're maybe just a bit more realistic.

Suzie: Is that what it is? Like, do you know if, like, they talk to each other about their affairs, or are they just kind of like.

Mel: Yeah, I'm just gonna go sleep at.

Suzie: A friend's house, and then they obviously sleep. Like, what is that?

Mel: I mean, I think there could be an element, like, I know, like, in Italy, for example, there's an element of religion. I mean, obviously, that's changed drastically over the years, but because of Catholicism, maybe you didn't get divorced. And I mean, I know, like, my mother was. She once went to rent this apartment, and because I went to high school in Rome, in Italy, and she went to rent an apartment, and the guy, very nice man who owned the building, said, you know, to my mom, who, you know, pretty attractive, said, if you. If you'll be my mistress, you don't have to pay rent.

Suzie: Oh, my God. Did she take it?

Mel: No. Okay. I don't, you know, whatever. I don't really know why. But he said that he loved his wife. His explanations was he had his wife loved his wife, but he kind of put her on a pedestal. I don't think he was physically attracted to her anymore, but she was his wife. She was the mother of his children, and he loved her and he kind of revered her in that sense, but he, he didn't see her as a sort of sexual being. And if we're, if we're honest, the older I get, I see that with a lot of couples that the intimacy part of the relationship does fall apart. And it's often because of pressures, you know, work, life, children, maybe you're simply not attracted to each other anymore. Often, if you've had lots of problems in the marriage, whether that's financial, some kind of friction, death, whatever, you know, terrible tragedy in the family, you kind of, that bit, as we know, falls away. So then, of course, realistically, you look elsewhere. And I just think, I mean, we've talked about this many times, you know, open relationships. Your favorite term is that.

Suzie: Why not just open her up?

Mel: You know, that lots. Yeah. Are lots of, I mean, lots of people, let's be frank, are cheating and lots and lots of people, and we don't talk about it in our society, in the US, I think they're just quite frankly, a little bit more open about it. Right. But I don't think are more people have mistresses cheating. This is my personal opinion. I caveat this. In countries where they're more open about it in certain cultures, like, you know, maybe latin cultures or, you know, France, Italy, whatever. No, I just think they're more realist. They're realists, you know, and they're, it's.

Suzie: So funny that you say that they're realists, but you would never realistically have another.

Mel: No mister.

Suzie: Is that what they call a male mistress, a mister?

Mel: That's a very good point. What is a male like?

Suzie: You, obviously. You know, it happens, but you're like, if it ever happened to me, I would die. Yeah, it's so funny.

Mel: But I. Yeah, I mean, absolutely. But I guess I'm not in that position where a. I need to have an affair. And as far as I'm concerned, my husband doesn't need to have an affair. Yeah.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: Because we still have a very good relationship.

Suzie: That's good to hear it.

Mel: Very good to hear. And whether, you know, obviously things change, but it's the same in all aspects as it always was.

Suzie: Are you getting ridiculous? Absolutely.

Mel: So nobody's looking for other things. So I guess if I was, then it would be a different question to pose to me. And I. I don't know. I. It just depends. I mean, sometimes you stay in a marriage because you don't hate the person. Yeah. You really get along with them. You just don't want to sleep with them, which, I mean, fair enough. And you may, like we said before, you own a house. You. You have children, you have locked on. You could have a business. You've got all this financial stuff intertwined, and if you actually don't hate the person. Yeah, I do understand that. It could be a lot easier just to do that bit, the intimate bit outside.

Suzie: It's way easier to have an affair than break up.

Mel: 100%.

Suzie: But until it blows up in your face.

Mel: Well, exactly. And are you. And I guess that's the thing about the role of the mistress. There is obviously a massive difference if somebody's telling the truth, whether there's lies, which was, I think, part of the whole Princess Diana thing, is that in theory, she didn't know. I don't believe that for a second nanosecond that she didn't know from the very beginning. Yeah. I mean, she was incredibly young. She was, like, 19 when she got married, and very naive and so on. But, you know, if somebody's betraying you and lying from the outset. Yeah. That's a whole different thing, isn't it? Whether you have an arrange an arrangement, you know, like a situation where you kind of close your eyes, which is very common. Right. That they say, like, women kind of know it's going on, and we say women. Obviously, it could be men, but, you know, it's going on. You accept it. You're fine with it. You just don't talk about it. Yeah. I mean, I guess there's a lot of people doing that.

Suzie: Yeah. And it's also funny, like, obviously, like, obviously men have affairs and we blame the woman, but obviously, women also have affairs, and we also still blame the woman.

Mel: 100%. 100%. But I think it does go to this thing. Maybe the reason we blame women so much is because women do go after married men when they know they're married.

Suzie: Yeah, that's true. Men don't typically go after married women.

Mel: Not typically. Well, they have more choice. So maybe that's the. Maybe that's the.

Suzie: They have more choice. And also, I don't know, married women are not as attractive.

Mel: It's complicated. Single men. Yeah, it's very complicated. I don't know. Yeah, I don't I mean, I think we also always assume that it's the man cheating. And of course that's bullshit. Of course it's not always the man.

Suzie: Of course that's bullshit.

Mel: And that's very unfair. It's just what has been portrayed. Yeah. That it's always. But, you know, if you get to a point in your marriage where you're no longer intimate. Yeah. You know, that could be the man who doesn't want it. And I know cases of that, you know, people that. That situation where the woman does, and what is she supposed to do?

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: And I open relationship, Mel. I mean, I get. I mean, and I I don't know what the answer is. I think it's very difficult, because what if your husband just doesn't want to talk about it and doesn't want an open relationship, but obviously knows you need something that you're not getting from him? Yeah. I don't know. Do you live in ignorance? Just keep going. I don't know.

Suzie: I think it depends how far you are in this relationship. Like, are you really gonna break up at, like, 50?

Mel: I mean, 50 is pretty young still to five. That's me. I know. 51.

Suzie: Oh, my God. But, like, that's the thing. It's like, when is it too late to kind of be, like, to be happy?

Mel: I don't think it's ever too late.

Suzie: Because are you actually gonna be happier if you let that relationship go, or are you gonna be happier if you accept that that's who that person is and kind of accept the situation? Well, because then you're alone. Maybe you don't have access to the kids anymore.

Mel: You know what I mean?

Suzie: She's a big man.

Mel: Yeah. I mean, 100%. I think the problem is normally that two people are not in the same place. Right. They're like, one person's done and the other person isn't, and somebody gets hurt and somebody doesn't. And if you've been with somebody a very long time, you don't want to do that, obviously. And then where do you go from there? I mean, it's not an easy kind of thing to do. I mean, to sort of start all over again, in that sense. Yeah.

Suzie: I mean, I'm all for, like, I understand the mistress's point of view very much like. And the person or the mister.

Mel: The mister, yes.

Suzie: Like, there's. There is nothing, in my opinion, better than just kind of getting into something without kind of the consequences.

Mel: Right.

Suzie: Do you know what I mean? Like, if you're able to have to get into this thing with this person who really wants you because they're most likely a little bit desperate, you're gonna feel like a million bucks, kind of.

Mel: Right, right.

Suzie: Like, let's just get into that. Right? Like, you're gonna feel a little good about yourself if you're looking for that kind of, like, ego push, and then, you know, you don't have to deal with an angry wife or husband or anything like that. It's like you're kind of just in this free game for free orgasms.

Mel: Free game for free. Wow. Okay.

Suzie: But, like, that's who these people are. Right?

Mel: Like, it's not. I think it's not like, we're not talking about.

Suzie: I don't want to talk about love. You know what I mean? It's like, this is just, like. Let's just say this is about love.

Mel: This is about lust.

Suzie: That Camilla was about love. Right, as she was still called the mistress.

Mel: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I do think, you know. Okay. So I think. I mean, in the case of Camilla, I think there was a lot of judgment going on there, and that was the era, and there were a lot of complex things going on. I mean, the reason why they sort of married Charles off to Diana is because she was from the right background.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: And all that ****. And she was a virgin. And that time, that's what it had to be. That has obviously since changed, but. And they basically put whatever you think about King Charles, him in a very unhappy situation. Yeah. I mean, being married, and I can't even imagine what it's like being in the royal family. It's like being a bird in a cage and then stuck with somebody you don't love. You know, we all think. We look at this person, they're beautiful. What do you mean, you don't love them? But that's not what love is about. And he wants to be with this person he loves, and he can't, and whatever. So, I mean, the thing I think about mistresses, and this is gonna shock you, that I'm gonna say this, is that I do think people have affairs. Cause they're human and they need intimacy. They need sex. They lust after somebody. They need it. They're not having it. They need it. And so they. Something. It's not something they're controlling that they meet somebody, and that's it. And it doesn't make them a bad person. But I think there are some cases where people do not give a **** about anybody else, you know, when maybe, let's say, they could have stopped it in the beginning or whatever, they just keep going. Now. Yeah, there is the argument. Well, the problem is, once you're in it, it's very hard to stop it. You can't, of course, it's sort of addictive. And I think, you know, why do fair affairs happen? Well, for the large. For a large part, because people all the way along in their marriage have not been talking about. They just keep sweeping stuff under the carpet and they keep going along, and it's sort of fine, and they're sort of okay, and they don't talk about this thing, you know, why does a man go off and have sex with a younger woman or lust after a younger woman? Chances are not always something isn't fully going on at home. He could also be an *******, 100%.

Suzie: And my father, it's definitely half *******.

Mel: Total *******, and just slept with everything that moved. And there is that. And there are many women that do that, too.

Suzie: 100%.

Mel: But I think in a lot of cases, people are sort of drawn away, aren't they? They're drawn away, but I, you know, they sort of sort of fall into situations. Fall into situations. Other people. And unfortunately, they really, really damage and hurt the person that they. They married, that they promised their life to, that they shared so much with. And you just think, if you've shared so much intimacy and so much love and so much connection, at some point, could you not have had a conversation about, it's so hard.

Suzie: People don't want to. People don't want to hurt other people.

Mel: That they love 100%. And I I do understand that. And I I'm. I think I feel a lot of empathy towards it, and that's not a situation I'm in, so I can't fully understand it from a personal point of view, but I think that's incredibly hard. And I'd say that's probably a lot of people in that situation. Yeah. That they're not fully getting everything that they need, want whatever it is. But how do they tell that person without really hurting them? Yeah.

Suzie: Like how? Like, I don't know. Like, how do you get everything you.

Mel: Want out of one person?

Suzie: One person. That's never made sense to me.

Mel: Oh, I know it doesn't. Yes, it does.

Suzie: It only makes sense if you are. So in my mind, this is how my mind makes sense of it. It's like isolation with one person. You have kids, you have to kind of put your life with them, and then that's kind of the cycle there. It's like. Well, yeah, like you have no real temptation? Like, how do you not have temptation in your life, Mel?

Mel: So I don't have temptation.

Suzie: You just don't find another man attractive?

Mel: What about cool thing, you know, I'm not like a friggin robot.

Suzie: I don't know.

Mel: But I I don't know. I guess it's, you know, I've, somebody actually asked Max this the other day, and they said to him, who do you like spending time with the most in your life? Says my wife. Exactly. That's, that's what the person, they were like, oh. And he's like, no, I really. That's the person I like spending time with the most in the world is my wife. Yeah. And I know, like, it baffles a lot of people.

Suzie: It's not that it's, like, baffling. It's like, because I understand the idea of, like, marrying your best friend and, like, being with that person, but it's like, it's about sex too, right? And it's like how, and it's like, you know, you want to hang out with that person all the time, 100%. I get that. Like, they're your best friend, but how can you want to have sex with your best friend for ******* 50 more years?

Mel: Do you know what I mean?

Suzie: Like, that's the kind of part where I'm like, okay, yes, of course. I love hanging out with you. You're amazing. You're my best friend, but I cannot have sex with you forever. I need to go have more sexual experiences with other people. That's what kind of is. Like, that's why I'm like, this only makes sense to me. If you're isolated, you can't see anyone else.

Mel: Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, no, I do get it. I think the more I know you.

Suzie: Get it, Mel, I just don't know how you've done it. Like, it's amazing passage of time and.

Mel: You know, look, in my case, I think it's a lot to do with, like, respect. Like, we truly respect each other. We love each other. We like spending time with each other. We do communicate. Like, if anybody ever tells you you've been married for 25, 50, whatever years, and you've. There's not been a blip or not a blip. I don't mean going off with somebody. I just mean, like, you know, not communicating very well at a certain point, then they're lying. You know, it's, it's a, it's an ever sort of evolving thing, and you have to be willing to keep working on it. Yeah. A lot of people don't. And it takes a lot of ******* energy, and it's difficult. And sometimes you don't want to talk, and sometimes you're in points in your life where you just have time to talk.

Suzie: Yeah.

Mel: You know, you have work and you have this and you have children. You have whatever, and it's very hard. Where. When am I going to get the time to. When am I going to talk?

Suzie: When am I going to ****? When am I going to ******* do the dishes?

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: When we take the dog for a walk. It's just too much. And sometimes you just need to escape from that.

Mel: Yeah. Yeah.

Suzie: Do you have an escape that you don't like? It's not, like, sexual or anything, maybe, but, like, do you have maybe, like, I don't know, you like to shop, and that's kind of your escape? Or is it, like, you like to go work out and that's kind of your escape? Do you have to be on my own? Yeah.

Mel: Yeah, sure I do. I mean, the other thing is, you know, Max always traveled a huge amount during our marriage.

Suzie: So you were kind of used to being alone.

Mel: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very used to it. Like, all the way while my children were young. It's really fairly recent that he hasn't traveled since COVID as much, but he was away all week. You know, I just got on with it, so, I guess, and sort of held everything together at home and, you know, had a business and I guess was just very busy. I. An escape? Yeah. I think the other thing that we have in our marriage is we don't. If I want to go tomorrow and go shopping or go out for the day or go and see five friends, I don't ask my husband. I just go do it.

Suzie: I've never, ever understood the asking.

Mel: I don't have, like, some kind of check in thing or let's say tomorrow I went and had dinner with a friend, and it cost $300.

Suzie: Me and you, baby. Every ******* Saturday night.

Mel: Exactly. Then Max doesn't have to go out. Yeah. On the following Wednesday. But I know a lot of couples where, let's say he goes for a boys weekend, then I have to go for a girl's. I don't care. It doesn't need to match up. Just do see your friends. We also have our own friends. We have our own interests.

Suzie: That's so important. I'm not feeling ******* have their own interests these days. They actually just feel like they have to be with that person for, like, everything, which is wrong, which is so.

Mel: Incorrect, and I, you know, I don't like any kind of sport. Yes. I like, quite like tennis. That's about it.

Suzie: And I'm going with Max to the Oilers game. Exactly.

Mel: And I can't stand it. I'm not interested at all in any of it.

Suzie: So funny.

Mel: So, you know, I mean, I could go on for hours talking to you about. But I think, you know, why do people have mistresses or misters? So anybody who knows what the male term is, can they do something?

Suzie: It has to be a mister.

Mel: That in itself is so interesting, isn't it? But there isn't a term for mister.

Suzie: For a mister, for the. For male.

Mel: A fairer. Yeah, a fairy.

Suzie: A fairy.

Mel: Isn't that weird? It's so ******* weird when it is. In fact, I think the man is always called your liver. Liver, of course. Your leather. So you say, oh, I have a lover. And you're like, well, no, you've got a boy toy, a thing, a mistress. A mister boy. Yeah. I mean, it's just bizarre, isn't it?

Suzie: It is bizarre.

Mel: I think that's very bizarre. That's sexist in its very nature. But there is no answer to this other than it's going, it's as old as time.

Suzie: She's as old as time, darling. Everyone has their mistresses.

Mel: Yeah.

Suzie: From all of the royals in the way back whens to your grandma, probably.

Mel: Everyone'S had a *******. My granddaughter, a lady. Boyd boy was married. Yeah. And he didn't get on very well. This is my mother's father. He did not get on well at all with his wife, who he married when he was very young, and he had a mistress for, I think, decades, and he just bought her another house and kept her in. My grandmother lived in her own house, and he lived most of the time with a mistress in the house that he bought her, and he just. He kept both houses.

Suzie: Why do I kind of feel bad for the mistress in that situation?

Mel: I think she was very happy. She was fine.

Suzie: Did she have kids at all with him?

Mel: No, but what happened was, unfortunately, she died. Like, he much preferred the mistress.

Suzie: Oh.

Mel: And the mistress died, and then he came home, and my grandmother was furious. She's like, I don't want you back here.

Suzie: Oh, my God.

Mel: I mean, very happy without you here. But in those days, they didn't get divorced, so. Yeah. That's not really a very happy story, but that is the truth.

Suzie: Wow.

Mel: Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, I don't know. There is no. I just think my piece of advice to anybody who is the mistress. Unless you're getting some major thing out of this and you're kept.

Suzie: Orgasms.

Mel: No, that's not enough. That's not enough because you're. You're gonna be the mistress, and life time is gonna run away. And you could meet this guy when you're like, you, 28, and spend five years with him, and then you'll be. What's the math on that? 30. I'm terrible at math. 32. Like, 32. Yeah. Yeah. And then maybe you go, oh, right now I want children. And then you're like. Then it's starting to get. You know, time has marched on, and he. It's no. It's no problem for him. He doesn't care because he's probably got a wife and children.

Suzie: Yeah, exactly.

Mel: What are you. What? My. What are you getting out of this? Yeah. Are you gonna always be happy being the person he comes to see? I mean, maybe you are. I mean, you know, fair enough, but I don't think that is generally the case.

Suzie: I feel like, just let. Make him buy you a house.

Mel: You'll have that equity.

Suzie: Make sure that you're on the deed.

Mel: You've got it all figured out. Of course I do.

Suzie: And obviously a couple of Chanel's. So gonna be great little investments.

Mel: Yes.

Suzie: And obviously in Hermes and.

Mel: But if you're a mistress, can you have a mister?

Suzie: Of course you're gonna have a mister. What does he love to say?

Mel: So you would have your own lover.

Suzie: Exactly.

Mel: Maybe. God, it's all very complicated. It is. But also, maybe it's very simple in the way the human brain is. Do you think? Yeah, I do.

Suzie: Everyone just gets what they want. If everyone's just open about it, why can't we all just be like France?

Mel: Wow. Do you think the simplicity and the diversity of it.

Suzie: I think that is what is so beautiful about the French is that they just literally don't give a f, and they just want to **** and eat croissants. And that's what I want to be like when I'm older.

Mel: Yeah. I'm not sure that's the reality, but okay. That's what I think. Yeah. Okay.

Suzie: Well, we obviously want to know what you guys think about mistresses and misters. Do you guys have one? Are you one? Who are you?

Mel: We want to know.

Suzie: Share truth with sharingmytruth.com. Or you can send us a little DM voice note at sharemytruthpod on the Insta.

Mel: And please do share with us, because I would like to say we had a hilarious comment this week, which I love, because we did a little thing about foot finder and how you raise your profile on footfinder. And this wonderful guy commented that he actually had a deformed foot because he had an accident with his foot. Do you think that would get him ahead on.

Suzie: I think it would, honestly would give a little ***** to someone.

Mel: I think it does 100%. I've got, like we said, not everyone.

Suzie: But there has to be a niche.

Mel: There's a niche for everything.

Suzie: Hairy toes.

Mel: There's a niche for it all.

Suzie: A black and blue weird frost. It's weird out there, guys. Be safe.

Mel: Be safe.

Suzie: Love yas.

Mel: Till next time. Three, two, one. Yeah.

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