top of page

Episode 26  - Break up rules - the truth about the toys i left behind
Melany Krangle & Suzie Sheckter

Speaker A: Welcome to sharing my truth with Mel and Susze, the uncensored version where we bear it all. We do 1234.

Speaker B: Welcome back. And welcome back, everyone.

Speaker A: Welcome back to Sharing My Truth Pod, where we tell stories about truth, sex, love, and mel. My name is Suzie. I'm here with my good friend Gen X Bell. And this is sharing my Truth Pod. And you can follow us on Instagram and TikTok and YouTube and I don't know, there's probably other things in there, right? At sharing my toothpod. You can also leave this little podcast, a review, and five stars if you're feeling very generous. We do both have a praise kink he calls good girls. We're very appreciative of it. Thanks, daddy. Mel, how you doing, babes? How are you?

Speaker B: I don't even know how to follow that. So you're good then? I'm good.

Speaker A: Good.

Speaker B: That's all I have.

Speaker A: Perfect. Well, you're welcome. You're welcome. I finally shut her up.

Speaker B: Shut her up ****** forever.

Speaker A: Well, we are here today because we got a cute little DM from a cute little girl.

Speaker B: We have.

Speaker A: And she left us a little DM asking our advice. And conundrum, it is a conundrum. Like, what do we do in this situation? It's a bit much. And I think sometimes you get in these problems, you get in these situations, you don't know what to do.

Speaker B: No, I think that's absolutely right. And here we go.

Speaker A: Are you ready?

Speaker B: Yeah, I'm ready.

Speaker A: It's about breaking up and it's the hardest part about breaking up.

Speaker B: Okay.

Speaker A: Right, so she says she just broke up with her boyfriend of three years and she says she broke his heart. So it was a bad breakup. But honestly, good for her if she wasn't it, it wasn't it. So all the power to you, babes. But she forgot something very important at his house.

Speaker B: Oh, yeah.

Speaker A: She forgot her sex toys.

Speaker B: Oh, dear.

Speaker A: And apparently, as she says, they were the nice ones.

Speaker B: Oh, dear.

Speaker A: As we know, sex toys can be like $300 a pop.

Speaker B: Very expensive.

Speaker A: Right. So she wants to ask her opinion if she can get them back, how.

Speaker B: She should get them back, or if.

Speaker A: They'Re just gone forever.

Speaker B: Well, I mean, does she actually want them back? I don't know what he's going to have done with them.

Speaker A: There's no way he did something with her. And this is like a recent breakup.

Speaker B: This is like a week old. Well.

Speaker A: If anything, if his heart is broken, I don't think he's just going to go **** a girl right away. Or do you think so?

Speaker B: Yeah, I definitely think so. What are you asking me this for? Like the old lady? Of course it's what he's going to do. I think that'd be the first thing he's going to do.

Speaker A: But I don't know if you'd use your ex girlfriend's toys on your I would hope not.

Speaker B: But how do you know? Yeah, you don't know. However, if they are the quality ones. You'll be fine if you give them a good sterilizing.

Speaker A: So you're saying she should leave them or you're saying she should get them.

Speaker B: And then sterilize if it was me. Yeah, which clearly is obviously just not going to be me. So it's a bit of a pointless asking me. I suppose I would just forget about them.

Speaker A: No.

Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, come on. So hang on a second. You've broken his heart, like he's not in a good place and you've left your essential items and you're going to go around then say, sorry I broke your heart, but by the way, can I just have my sex toys back? Yeah, no.

Speaker A: I think she should go back and get them. I think. **** it, it's been a week. Just rip the bandaid off and be like, I forgot my sweater.

Speaker B: I'm sorry.

Speaker A: It's my favorite sweater. I have to go get it. I don't know where it is. I know it's your place. I'm just going to go back and get it and then grab your toys.

Speaker B: Well, yeah, I mean, I guess if you don't mind seeing him. Yeah, if you don't mind seeing him. It depends if we're going to find that difficult.

Speaker A: I don't think she's going to find it difficult because obviously I think she's over it. He sounds like she's like, this is a good thing for me and I'm done, obviously, for him. I just think you have to ******* do it. Either you do it now, you can't wait.

Speaker B: No, I mean, then you really don't know what's going on with them. Yeah.

Speaker A: And exactly. Also, if that's actually going to happen.

Speaker B: I just can't see, like, what is the etiquette? Okay, so this is a very good question. If you break up, because obviously sex toys have been around for a very long time, but if you break up and you have toys that you use well, it depends on the couple because some couples don't use things together, they only use stuff alone. What is the etiquette? If you've used it together, do you move on to the next couple?

Speaker A: It depends on the toy. If you're using it together and it's like do you know those we vibe things yes. Where it goes inside of you. But it's like a **** ring and has an app. It has an app, exactly. I think the girl gets that because it's inside of her.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: And it can make it like vibrating panties. You can use them and wear them around.

Speaker B: Right. I think you definitely but there are.

Speaker A: Things where I don't know where it would be. Where? I don't know what couple toy would be his at the end of the day. Yeah, maybe a **** ring.

Speaker B: But that is on.

Speaker A: Why would she vibrating **** ring?

Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, he's getting his jollies from that too.

Speaker A: Not really.

Speaker B: No jollies.

Speaker A: I mean, maybe some jollies. I'm not him. I don't know. I don't have the *****. But I would think the Cochrane wasn't his idea.

Speaker B: That's what I think simulating her.

Speaker A: Really? Yeah. I think in all situations, unless it's a prostate massager or a butt plug of his, they're mostly only her toys.

Speaker B: Right. If they're using a couple, they're for.

Speaker A: Clitoral stimulation or penetration.

Speaker B: Yeah. If you're doing well yeah. Of the girl. In which case, if the woman's doing something to the man, then that really is a hymn toy.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: And then if she's got doing to her yeah.

Speaker A: If he's penetrating her with, like, a ***** or something, they have, like, a.

Speaker B: Special *****, then she really should keep that.

Speaker A: Yeah, obviously. But that's what I'm saying. Why would he use that on another girl? And also, before we get out of that, if you're a girl coming to a guy's house and he has a toy ready to use on you and you're like, where's that toy bin?

Speaker B: Exactly.

Speaker A: I would never let a man use a toy he just has in his drawer on me.

Speaker B: But I'm sure people do. I question this, but I'm sure people do. I'm sure they do. I'm sure they do because well, because people are dirty bastards. And I'm sure people I'm not going to go down this rabbit hole, but I'm going to say it once is that people don't wash these intimate items properly. Clean them. They don't. And so if they're not cleaning and people, to be fair, are not very clean no. To start with. Which in turn makes them not very the sexual. Yes. So you see where I'm going with this, right? So I'm really not sure that yeah. I'm not sure. And I have to say, you know, I'm a bit of a clean lady. Yes. I've seen a couple of times, actually, recently I saw a podcast about it and I saw something else somewhere else about when do you shower? In the morning or the evening? And my first question was like, what do you mean? When do you shower?

Speaker A: I shower in the morning and the evening. Yeah, but that's ******* crazy.

Speaker B: Why is that crazy?

Speaker A: I do not shower every day. What? Do you want to talk about this? It's not good for your skin.

Speaker B: Do not shower every day.

Speaker A: No, I'm not getting sweat. If I work out every day, which is not usual, I won't.

Speaker B: But yeah, like, I don't single day in my life. That's the only day in my life I've gone without washing. And not necessarily twice, but I mean, at least having a shower or a bath. I've never in my life is when I had my second child and probably my first child, too, because I had first an emergency cesarean and then another Caesarean, and you literally can't move. Yeah. And you really don't care. You're so in so much pain. But no, never, ever.

Speaker A: What is it? Is it like because you smell I don't smith myself. No, I don't smell him.

Speaker B: And I know I don't smell smell because I'm not that smell, but no.

Speaker A: I never but I think it's obviously you've been doing it for a while. You've been showing morning and night. You've crazy, girl.

Speaker B: Most of the time. Not all the time, but I always, always have a shower.

Speaker A: But the thing is that your body produces its natural it doesn't clean itself, but there's like, natural oils on your body that you're constantly I don't want any washing off. It's necessary. These are necessary oils. A lot of people who don't like, I don't really believe in this because I would cry if my hair wasn't nice all the time. But people don't shampoo their hair and then you get the natural oil and I can actually be nicer.

Speaker B: And I used to wash my hair every day.

Speaker A: That's so bad for your hair.

Speaker B: I stopped that. And then when I started highlighting it we're way off topic here. I used to wash it every day and then that isn't good, but oh, yeah, I know that. I am a real cleanse, cleanspot, cleansy, cleansy, clean. And then I have a moisturizer for literally every part of my body. My husband thinks it's hilarious. Like, your eyelids, your eyebrows, bullets, my nostril cellulite, like, everything. I literally have everything. But yeah. So to me, the whole thing is mega cringe. Mega cringe. Like, oh, my God, what have they been doing that? But no, I think people are dirty.

Speaker A: This is why you've never had a three sub. You're like, Where's this other person? You can only keep track of one person. Exactly.

Speaker B: The whole dirt factor is just I mean, when I go into toilets and people don't wash their hands, and I'm just like, oh, my God.

Speaker A: Oh, yeah, that's ******* crazy. That's not ******* what I'm saying, though. It's just not showering morning and evening.

Speaker B: Mel but you said not showering.

Speaker A: Yeah, I don't shower every day. Yeah, no, I don't eat it.

Speaker B: Wow. So what do you do in the days you don't shower? We're now getting into life.

Speaker A: What do you mean? I just, like, go about my life.

Speaker B: Do you, like, splash or something?

Speaker A: No, I don't have to because I'm not silly.

Speaker B: You don't do anything to any bits of you?

Speaker A: Well, I wash my face because I'm wearing makeup.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: And then obviously I'm brushing my teeth and things, but wow.

Speaker B: Yeah, I've never been to the gym. When I used to go to gyms, like public gyms? Yeah, I wouldn't go to the gym without washing.

Speaker A: I would go to the gym. Of course, like you're sharing before the gym?

Speaker B: Of course.

Speaker A: Why? Because you could.

Speaker B: Because I tell you why is because I'd do a lot. I used to do a lot of spinning and you'd be on the spin bike and you're like, I can friggin smell the person next to me. I must have a very acute sense of smell. You actually have to because I can smell people, honest. God, they smell. No, I would never like, I'll go for a walk on the weekend and my husband would love to. Let's just go. I can't. What? I can't do it. What? I can't do it.

Speaker A: What do you mean? You have to shower before you walk?

Speaker B: I have to be pretty clean. Yeah.

Speaker A: So there's like maybe some, like OCD, not a psychologist or anything or psychiatrist. But not everyone showers every day. I'll just leave with that.

Speaker B: I'm blown away by this piece of information.

Speaker A: I'm blown away by this as well. Anyway, okay, moving on to sex.

Speaker B: So you could see why I would have a mega.

Speaker A: Oh my God. Mega.

Speaker B: Like whatever issue with.

Speaker A: No. And obviously I get that your intimate parts are obviously people for a reason.

Speaker B: Right. You know, b days and everything.

Speaker A: B days.

Speaker B: You know what a b day is?

Speaker A: No. Oh, a bidet.

Speaker B: Oh, right, yeah, like a b day.

Speaker A: Like your British branch. It's like a b day, but a b day.

Speaker B: As we say in England. We don't have bdays in English, but you call them a biday.

Speaker A: Biday.

Speaker B: Biday. Yeah, front bottom and a back bottom washer.

Speaker A: Oh my God. And toshi if you want to sponsor.

Speaker B: Our podcast, let me say oh yeah.

Speaker A: Mel would love it. Mel's a big clean freak. She'd be your biggest fan.

Speaker B: Yeah, I am a clean freak.

Speaker A: I love that about you.

Speaker B: A whole different viewpath. You will never this actually, on the subject of cleaning your bits and sex toys. So the lady who does all my waxing and all that well, I actually don't wax anymore because I've had it.

Speaker A: All laid out lovely.

Speaker B: Which is brilliant, by the way. Go and do that. Cost fortune, but go and do it anyway. She's told me all these stories about people who come and how dirty they are.

Speaker A: That's ****** up.

Speaker B: That's ****** up. Okay, so if you've gone to the gym or she said there's lots of women who've gone to the gym and they're sweaty and they're smelly and obviously their bits and bobs are all a bit niffy and they'll go and get a wax. Now. That's ******, isn't it?

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: The other thing she said that happens frequently is people have had sex and.

Speaker A: Then you go get there's bits of stuff left.

Speaker B: No. The **** is wrong with you?

Speaker A: And you think I have a problem? I even shave my legs when I'm going to get a pedicure. I'm like, let me make my everything.

Speaker B: My hoo waxed. And I had a pedicure when I had my first child. I was so worried about all those people looking up my ******, as you should. It was looking fabulous. But the point being, I'm just mortified. Like, she was telling me that going back to my yes, you're waxling. That's the testian. You call them here beauty. And we call them that. People come and I just find that so disrespectful. You're a dirty ******* if you do that. Or a *****, in this case.

Speaker A: You're a ******* *****.

Speaker B: It's revolt.

Speaker A: You're a dirty little ******* *****.

Speaker B: So wow. I'm learning all sorts of things about myself. I did know that I was very, very clean. I knew that I actually come from a family. Like like, my parents are like that always clean, like, all the time. That's it. But I thought honestly, through my life.

Speaker A: That everyone showered morning and evening.

Speaker B: No, not morning and evening. Because I do that. I'm okay, I do understand that you may not do it morning and evening, but showered and had or had a bath or whatever every day. Every day of their life.

Speaker A: No, doesn't need it.

Speaker B: And got up every morning and have but don't you sweat in the night? So I'm still on this. You must sweat in the night.

Speaker A: Yeah, but, I mean, I don't know. I do a smell. Like, you know, everyone does a smell check.

Speaker B: You do a NIF test.

Speaker A: Everyone always like, oh, you smell nice today. Haven't showered three days.

Speaker B: Oh, my God, you're blowing my mind. You are kidding me.

Speaker A: No.

Speaker B: You've gone three days of the no shower? Yeah. I'm speechless.

Speaker A: But it's not like I'm, like, working out morning and evening, getting sweaty and then, like, speechless, going to the office. I really don't do much.

Speaker B: Under what circumstance are we doing this?

Speaker A: What do you mean?

Speaker B: Not showering for three days? I don't know. Wow.

Speaker A: Have I ever smelled bad if I could never to be honest.

Speaker B: No.

Speaker A: You never know.

Speaker B: Sitting.

Speaker A: You never know.

Speaker B: Wow. Well.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: Anyway, go back to sex toys. To be fair, my husband showers every day.

Speaker A: Yeah. Because you probably made that from him. Was he like that before you met him?

Speaker B: Oh, yeah.

Speaker A: Really?

Speaker B: Yeah, I was very clean.

Speaker A: You're just two very clean people.

Speaker B: Yeah. Can't be dealing with that. And, you know, men. It does get a bit cheesy down there. We don't be needing that, do we?

Speaker A: All right. Getting back to the wake up, wow.

Speaker B: I'm very sorry that we went off track a bit. Okay. Anyway, getting back to so who owns well, yeah, you make a very good point. Yeah. That even if it's on kupla for the couple. Yes, it really is. For her or for him. Yes. Kind of thing. So the for her or for him. But then that's the thing. Then shouldn't you bring to the relationship your stuff? It's a bit like being a magician or whatever. You've got your, like, things, so you should bring it and then you should take it away.

Speaker A: Well, yeah. I mean, what she should have done, obviously, is she should have thought about this while she was breaking up. Maybe if this was in a sudden breakup, you're doing it before the breakup, being like, I'm just going to you don't tell them, but you're just, like, put them in a bag and you get ready to ******* go and you're like, Peace, ************. And you get the **** out of there with your toys. I mean, all your kids in the bag.

Speaker B: You're what? Little kids? Kids. Oh, the little toys, right. That would have been I mean, sort of before, people were worried about if they were engaged and do they keep the diamond or not. But now it's like, do you keep the sex toys? I mean, yes, you put it that way. They are her sex toys. I've never really thought about it from this point of view. However, I would, as we know, we've now discussed how clean I am. If this were me, I would really think what's he done with them?

Speaker A: Well, but also, maybe actually, now that I'm thinking about it, and you brought up a good point about this, like, if you're engaged, who keeps the ring? Who bought the sex toys?

Speaker B: Good point.

Speaker A: But if they're a gift from him to her, they're still hers. Yeah, but if it's a ring, if it's an engagement, like if we're talking.

Speaker B: About that, but then what happens? Then there's no hard and fast rule because sometimes women keep them.

Speaker A: Well, I think that's ****** up. You keep that.

Speaker B: Why would you want it?

Speaker A: Why would you keep that?

Speaker B: She's going to sell it. Yeah, I would because it was a very large rock.

Speaker A: I mean, if he could afford it.

Speaker B: But yeah, it's not very nice, is it?

Speaker A: No, it's not, but that's what I'm saying. I'm like if he bought her all these sex toys that they were using, let's say together in bed, but they were for her. But then maybe is she taking those with her?

Speaker B: Do you know what? It just sort of depends because he might be feeling very spiteful, so he might have kept them. But I don't know. It sort of goes to this. What's the etiquette of breaking up? There is an etiquette today, which maybe is different. When I did have oh, you have.

Speaker A: A little article for Torah.

Speaker B: Because I think the thing is today is not just sex toys. Not the sex toys didn't exist before. Of course they did. And of course people had them. It's just that they've become so more mainstream now and it's so much more acceptable to talk about it. And you can buy them in the supermarket and you can buy them in the drugstore, and you can buy them anywhere, and you can get them online and whatever. And it's just much more prevalent. Compared to when I was your age, it wasn't so prevalent. So I suppose now it's a discussion and I think more people probably have sex toys 100% than they used to.

Speaker A: And well, they're more open about them.

Speaker B: They're more open. There's just more choice. And you used to have to go to a dodgy store to buy them, and obviously now you don't have to do that. That's right. So that leads into other things like the etiquette. And this is actually an artigan an.

Speaker A: Artigan an artigan article article from the.

Speaker B: Guardian, which is an English newspaper. And it's talking about other things too, which obviously is relevant to the era that we are in.

Speaker A: Yes, darling.

Speaker B: So what happens about social media when you break up?

Speaker A: Like, do you do like a breakup post like you're a ******* celebrity?

Speaker B: I mean, do people do that?

Speaker A: I ******* hope not. But some people who are so invested in your social media want the breakup post, I guess.

Speaker B: Actually, one of my daughters was telling me about one of the skills she knows who's been dating this boy for.

Speaker A: But it's a couple of other teenagers, though, as well.

Speaker B: Well, yeah, but they've got a joint account. Is that a thing?

Speaker A: Shut up.

Speaker B: Strange.

Speaker A: That's so much strange. I mean, I don't know unless you're going to do the hot single girl post after a breakup, but you can't be like, hey, it's us. We just thought we'd part our separate ways. Like, you're ******* two weird celebrities getting a divorce.

Speaker B: It's very peculiar. But do people do this?

Speaker A: No. I mean, I'm sure they do, but it's weird as ****.

Speaker B: And what about, like, the friends and everything?

Speaker A: The friends is also I'm social media friends.

Speaker B: I mean oh, not like real friends. Real friends.

Speaker A: What do you do with real friends?

Speaker B: Well, because there are some people you really only social media communicate.

Speaker A: Well, yeah, but who cares what those people what do you do with the real ones?

Speaker B: Well, that's a very big question.

Speaker A: What do you do in the Ingrained friend group? Do the friends have to discuss who gets who? Like children in a divorce?

Speaker B: Well, I mean, I I think it is a problem if you've been together a long time, and you have I mean, even at your age, you're going to have a lot of your friends will be like couple friends, right? Yes. And you'll go out because the longer you're together, the more your friends are your friends with other couples because you're a couple. It's easier, right? Yeah, it's tricky. And I don't think there's ever a right way to do it. I think that often it depends the reason for the breakup. If somebody was behaving badly, then obviously people are going to take sides if it's just your parting ways because it's not working and it's amicable, that's a whole different thing. Right, but I've known friends of mine where the breakup was actually amicable. But still, this friend sided for whatever reason, right? Because maybe it's never really as amicable as everyone makes out, is it?

Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, preaps are always ******* hard. I don't know. It's really tough if you're both trying. Like, this is exactly what we want. This is gone. It's time we're both happy. This is done. I'm moving out. I found another place. You're keeping the dog? It's all good and fine. And I don't think that ever happens.

Speaker B: I don't think it does. I mean, I think it is a bit complicated today. Like things like it says in this article, actually, like Netflix passwords and stuff like that. I mean, obviously just don't be stupid. Just open your own account.

Speaker A: Well, yeah, change the person has to change the ******* password.

Speaker B: Or FYI, if you have a password that you use for everything, which clearly you shouldn't be doing anyway, maybe don't use that password anymore.

Speaker A: Definitely don't be ******* stupid.

Speaker B: I mean, that's really stupid. But I think there are a lot of people do sex stuff.

Speaker A: Absolutely.

Speaker B: But going back to the sex toys, well, I mean, at the end of the day, you've got two choices. One, you go back or you don't. And you just say, well, I'm just going to get some new stuff and maybe think about what you're going to do next time.

Speaker A: Yeah, don't be stupid. Take your stuff with you.

Speaker B: Yeah, I feel like that's a huge thing.

Speaker A: Like you don't want to see them, but could you get like a mutual friend to go to their house or something and get your ****?

Speaker B: That's a good idea. Actually. I think that's an excellent idea, because it's possible that because this person hasn't specified that they broke up and it was like a massive argument and somebody stormed off, in which case you're not going to be thinking, I've got that in that drawer and I've got that and all that sort of stuff, you're not going to be thinking very clearly. So I think that's a really good idea. Get a mutual friend to say so and so has left a few things. Can I just pick mop and then please don't be a **** about this? Can I just pick it up? Because it's not yours. Yeah, and why would you want it? Because people are ******* dicks. They are? Yeah.

Speaker A: Hopefully your ex is not a **** or a ***** and you can actually go pick up your stuff when you break up. But also hopefully it's not something stupid. They're like, I left my toothbrush there. Can I go get it? Shut the **** up.

Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. **** me off. Look, if you've left half a pot of cream unless it's literally Creme Lamar exactly. Then just leave the ******* cream there. Yes. If you've left your toothpaste, I think you can live without it. Or a pair of knickers underwear for my fellow North American.

Speaker A: What if you've left your like if you left your kombucha scoji or SCOBY or whatever.

Speaker B: Your what?

Speaker A: Your kombucha SCOBY.

Speaker B: What the hell's that?

Speaker A: It's kind of like a sourdough baby.

Speaker B: What.

Speaker A: The hell is that? These are like millennial babies. Like your sourdough starter or your kombucha bread. Yes.

Speaker B: ****.

Speaker A: Is that like sourdough comes from a yeast that morphs over time. Oh, is this the longer you have it, the better. Your sourdough is oh, my God.

Speaker B: This is like, in my day, they had these plants that look like animals.

Speaker A: Or something like Chia Pet. That's it.

Speaker B: No, I didn't have one. I think that was also a North American phenomenon because I don't think anybody had them in England. I could be wrong.

Speaker A: Really ******* funny. No, we're not talking about Chia Pet.

Speaker B: So this is something that anyway, whatever. I think you got to let that go. Just let that go. I mean, we're talking essential things that are expensive. And this would also be key. Try when you're breaking up with somebody, if you are breaking their heart. Also, whatever, whoever you may be, don't be a ****, either. Don't be a ************* ****. No, be nice. You may not want to be in this thing, but you don't have to be an *** about it. Yeah. So that would be my advice, personally. But I think Susie's advice is actually very good. Get a mutual friend, not emotional, who's like a sort of clear headed person that everyone likes. That kind of friend. Send that friend along to go get your sex toys. Yeah, exactly. And that friend, who's the kind of person who can say to your boyfriend because we're talking about the writing here. Yeah, please don't be a **** about this. I've got to pick up sensor stuff. So you got to send the right friend in. You can't send the friend in who's going to have a massive, like, I'm getting her ****.

Speaker A: Yeah, she worked up with you, but **** you.

Speaker B: Don't send that friend. Yeah.

Speaker A: Don't make it worse.

Speaker B: Send the diplomatic, chilled friend.

Speaker A: Breakups are so hard. I haven't really done a huge breakup in my adult years, but from my friends breakups, people are cheating on each other. And I have a friend who got divorced already. It's just really how old this happened, like a year or something ago. But she's like 30. That's his one where she left all her **** at his because he lived across the country. I have no idea what happened to it. But yeah, it's like, ****, that was a lot of your stuff. And now it's like, what are you going to ******* do? You're going to go ******* back and get it? You're going to make him ship it? I doubt it. I doubt he's going to do that. It sucks, and it's just like, it sucks when it just doesn't go lucky. It doesn't go nicely.

Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, it's incredibly difficult. At the end of the day, if you're breaking up, it's not nice and nobody's happy. But maybe it would be an idea to think about some of this and try and not have a massive fight, which I appreciate that that's very difficult to what about breakup sex? You mean going back and having breakup sex?

Speaker A: Going back. Having breakup sex. Give them one last go. Take your toys back. That's how you get them back.

Speaker B: Run for. The hills. Obviously that might be very nice. But ultimately that is going to be super complicated and make things even messier than they already are. However, obviously everybody does that. Most people do these things. Obviously it's not the rational, logical, or sensible thing to do. But that's what people do. Yes, but if you can avoid it, I wouldn't because you are just making especially if you broke up with somebody because you didn't want them. And then you're going to do that. I mean, it's just going to be so messy. You're just making it worse.

Speaker A: I know.

Speaker B: And it's not like this is the only person you can have sex with.

Speaker A: I know, but they know all your.

Speaker B: Buttons wish teach somebody else. Oh, it's exhausting all over again.

Speaker A: But I know who's talking about.

Speaker B: I thought that was the whole thing, that you want lots of people to know where your buttons are.

Speaker A: No, you're right. You're absolutely right. But sometimes you just need a good old familiar ****.

Speaker B: Really?

Speaker A: You need a boyfriend ****.

Speaker B: A good old familiar ****. Wow. What a way of putting it, Susie.

Speaker A: Because what if you got some of.

Speaker B: The other, like, really strange, I'm sure.

Speaker A: Like strangers in there.

Speaker B: Well, to be honest, I haven't seen a vast array in the last 25 years. It's like it's pretty much been the one. It has been the one.

Speaker A: It's like when you're trying to go in for a handshake and the other person does a pound and it's super ******* awkward. And you're like, what else is if I can do now? That's what it's kind of like with a new ****. You're like, you got to shake my hand like that. Yeah, well, we do as dealts. But now it's too late. Now it's too late. Like you're already inside of me. It's like a whole thing.

Speaker B: Well, that's the oddity and weirdity of sex, isn't it, Susie? Is it is a pretty strange thing if you think about it. It is. That two strangers are going to so we've never met before. We don't know each other, but you're going to stick your ***** in my.

Speaker A: Hoo in my who.

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker A: And sometimes that's okay. Sometimes that's the best way to sometimes to get over a breakup.

Speaker B: Yes, but not with the person you've broken up with. Let's move on.

Speaker A: Yeah, I agree.

Speaker B: Let's move on. That's new. Pastures. Pastures new.

Speaker A: Pastures new.

Speaker B: It feels like a dirk. These are just so many problems. Anyway, getting back to the sex toys, I really feel that's a great idea. Send a sensible, sensible, common sense, friendly, happy friend to go and get them. Somebody who's not going to start an argument or punch him in the face or be a complete **** to him. That be the friend I would send.

Speaker A: Or you can also send that friend to go pretend that he's hanging out with this person. But they're really going to get your sex toys.

Speaker B: Wow.

Speaker A: Rummaging around in his house, really going to get your sex toys. He's going to put them in a bag, he's going to leave them on the doorstep, Walter, for you to pick up. And then he distracts him by taking him away. I've really thought about this. You take him away going for a drink. You come to the doorstep where the sex toys are, grab them, go, wow.

Speaker B: But what if the boyfriend has moved the sex toys like they were in the drawer and now he's put them by the toilet or something? Now you're ******. You really are. I mean, you never know what he's done with them. Maybe he's put them in the washing machine. That's not the washing machine, the dishwasher. Oh, that's good, though. Don't think people put them in the dishwasher.

Speaker A: I don't know. I've never done that. That seems a little nuts.

Speaker B: I did see something. I feel it was a TikTok and somebody put it which it shouldn't be because that's not allowed on TikTok, but their rules are all a bit ******. Anyway, somebody put it in the dishwasher and I thought, do you really want to be having your plates? I've just had my salad and there's a giant ***** where the spoon starts.

Speaker A: The thing that was right up my ***. But it's all going the problem now.

Speaker B: Is we're going to finish this podcast, Susie. I'm going to have these images in.

Speaker A: My head that I will not be able to get rid of.

Speaker B: And it's really quite terrifying. But, no, I wouldn't put it in the dishwasher. Don't I'm sure it breaks them. Must do. They're electronic. Electronic?

Speaker A: Yeah. But you can have waterproof.

Speaker B: Yeah, but it's the plug in bits, the socket bits. You can't have water going up. Yeah, you can if you can, but not that volume wash. You give them a gentle wash or whatever you're doing in the shower. I'm going into a lot of detail. Or the bath. Or in the bath. But I suppose you submerge.

Speaker A: Exactly.

Speaker B: Then you could submerge all of them. Anyway.

Speaker A: That's a question for the toy company.

Speaker B: Submergeable toy. I don't think you should be putting them in the dishwasher anyway. I just don't particularly butt plugs with your spoons.

Speaker A: Please don't. Just your Dock strap, your *****.

Speaker B: You are really disturbing me if you do that.

Speaker A: Anyway, if I ever have you over the wash, it it's going to be all of my ******.

Speaker B: Lovely.

Speaker A: You're welcome.

Speaker B: That sounds just fabulous.

Speaker A: That would be so fun.

Speaker B: Right, well, now I've just completely lost my train of thought. Yes. Again, take your friend and hope he hasn't put them in the dishwasher or by the toilet rolls and hasn't moved them, because that's a problem.

Speaker A: Well, I wish this woman the best of luck.

Speaker B: I do.

Speaker A: Because breakups are ******* hard.

Speaker B: They're very hard.

Speaker A: And I'm sorry you broke his heart, because that's tough. Honestly, as the breaker upper, that is hard too. You don't want to ******* hurt anybody unless you're a sociopath. I don't think this person's a sociopath.

Speaker B: No, I think they just weren't meant to be. Aren't they're just not happy? And that's fine. And learn a lesson for the future. Don't leave them behind. Take your sex twice, because they are very expensive. Yes, they are.

Speaker A: As much as a diamond ring these days.

Speaker B: They're very expensive. Well, not the real diamonds, but anyway, I hope that helps in some way. I think it does. If you guys if you guys have.

Speaker A: Any breakup stories that are funny, sad, mad, angry, loving, happy, sexy, we send them our way on Instagram. Or you can also leave us a voicemail on our, definitely.

Speaker B: Because we want to hear them, don't we?

Speaker A: I want to hear all the sexy, dirty *** breakup stories that people are having.

Speaker B: She does. Obviously. And I don't want to hear anything about dishwashers until no, actually, no, I do.

Speaker A: Well, that's it for us.

Speaker B: Loves. It is. So thanks for listening, and we will see you again.

Speaker A: See you next time.

Speaker B: Too Lou. Toodles. Bye. Thanks so much for listening. Please rate and review this podcast and follow us on social at sharingmytruthpod and leave us a voicemail on our to share your stories and experiences with us. We'll see you next time.

Speaker A: Bye bye.

Speaker B: Up.

Speaker A: Three, two, one. Yeah.

Listen Here>>

bottom of page